All comics by bigworm

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by bigworm
10-23-10
I've come back to life! What do you think of that?
Gimme all your money or I'll karate chop you to death!
I have no money.
This is your last chance! Gimme your money!
Return to first panel...
I have not acquired any money since the last time we spoke.
Smart mouth!!! Take this...!!! *KA-CHOP*!!!

 

by bigworm
10-23-10
Now that I've seen some of the 'Wiki leaked' Iraq documents, I understand why it had to be us to invade Iraq.
Because we are far from being one of it's "...meddling neighbors."

 

by bigworm
10-24-10
Please Mr. President, hear my plea! Irag needs more of your help! Our neighbors are meddling us to death!
The president has heard your plea. We came to destroy weapons of mass destruction, and we will stay to aid-bomb the meddlers.
This is wonderful! Death to the meddlers!!!

 

by bigworm
10-25-10
No, I'm not that bothered by her rejection...
hmmm...
...must find out what's bugging me.

 

by bigworm
10-25-10
You're not gonna' get the 'wrong' idea, are you boy... I mean... you know...
...if I put a little peanut butter on my dick?
I'm talkin' 'chunky'.
I'd really prefer a bowl.

 

by bigworm
10-25-10
So you're gonna' be a little stubborn huh? How's about I cuff you before you get the peanut butter?
One bowl of peanut butter comin' right up!

 

by bigworm
10-26-10
Well, I guess this is it dad... the moment all highly principled, feral human progeny dread.
Where you learned to speak, I'll never know. You've obviously been taking english lessons behind my back. But anyway, I understand what you're saying.
Thank you for raising me to be a fine adult after my real mother and father were killed in a plane crash, and instilling your 'save the rainforest' values in me. I don't know when I'll be back.
Hopefully you'll be back very soon, and please do your best to remember each of these 3 things...
What are those 3 things father? I will honor you by always remembering them.
Bananas, sugar, and coffee. Now go! The store closes in 10 minutes!

 

by bigworm
10-26-10
Could you briefly describe your experience of the school bus accident you were in yesterday?
It was real scary at first.
What was the scariest part?
When we were thrown around, and the bus turned over.
Could you comment on your remark earlier about a miracle having happened?
When the bus came to a stop, I realized I was still alive... and my face was buried in this hot chick's pussy!

 

by bigworm
10-26-10
Hey! Get out of here... this is my hole!!!
Bullshit! This is my hole!!!
Look... I've lived in this hole for over a year!!!
No way! Just a minute and I'll turn the light on.
I don't think so dude. We don't have lights.
Oh yeh, I forgot... we're worms.

 

Father forgive me, for I have sinned.
Come back when you're finished.
by bigworm, 10-27-10

 

Father forgive me, for I have sinned... and I'm jacking off right now as we speak.
Let me get the custodian for you, she's better at this shit than I am.
by bigworm, 10-27-10

 

Forgive me father, for I have sinned.
If you need assistance completing the process, you may use the 'Hustler Hymnal' located at the rear of the booth.
by bigworm, 10-27-10

 

Forgive me father, for I have sinned, and I'm about to sin all over your face!
Not in the eyes, or my beard!
by bigworm, 10-27-10

 

by bigworm
10-27-10
Forgive me father, for I just took a shit somewhere I shouldn't have.
And exactly where might that be?
In your ritual chalice.
What do you say to 'Two Servants... one chalice'?

 

by bigworm
10-27-10
Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I picked up a whore, got a b.j., shot my wad on her face, and didn't pay her the extra $10 she tried to charge me for it.
Did she lick it up with a smile on her face?
I bludgeoned her to death.
First things first! Did she lick it up with a smile on her face?

 

by bigworm
10-27-10
She never licked it up with a smile on her face, 'cus I'd already bashed her face in. But she was gettin' ready to resist lickin' it up!
So would you say she was a non-compliant, cheap ass, street walkin' skank-whore with a bad attitude?
Yessir!
You're absolved.

 

by bigworm
10-28-10
Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I wasn't very nice to my son. I totally betrayed him and had him tortured and shit like that.
Why'd you do that anyway?
After a lot of deep thought, I did that because I had to show the world just how much I loved them, and I figured that crucifying my son was the pinnacle of such a demonstration.
That really is a demonstration of true spiritual and physical love, so... let's both return to that loving moment!
See how good you had it son?
Of course! I just needed to understand it better!

 

by bigworm
10-28-10
Okay, my plan to demonstrate my love for the world by crucifying my only begotten sin was a little askew.
Did you hear what you just said?
Did I err?
Yes you did. Now it's pennance time. Bend over and assume the position. My 'Administrator of Disciplinary Actions' will be with you shortly.
Okay... I'm ready.
I like ca-ca!!!

 

by bigworm
10-28-10
I'm Dr. Shinethelighteeo, and regarding your obsession with alternate accounts, exactly how many do you have?
I think it's thomewhere between 50 and 100.
That's incredible! I've never heard of anyone having THAT many! So, you are obsessed with alternate accounts.
I wouldn't call it an obsession. I'd call it a love affair with the comic writing medium.
My God! What are you... fucking a different one each night?!!
Oh Dr., ha ha ha, you're tho thilly!

 

by bigworm
10-28-10
Well, that was a little 'tongue in cheek' of me, but...
That's okay Dr., I like a tongue in my cheeks.
Let's uh... let's try and stay on track here. This is about your alternate accounts, not your being a queer.
But Dr., the two are inextricably related!
How so?
I use my alternates to butt-fuck anybody I don't like!

 

by bigworm
10-28-10
My goodness, you certainly are a case, aren't you?
Oh yeth, that's for thewer!
And just how does this 'butt-fucking' of others happen?
Try and think of it in a more literal way Dr. You see, we're all member rated.
And this applies in what way to my question?
I rate them with my member!

 

by bigworm
10-28-10
Rating them with your member... I see! I think we're getting somewhere now.
No we're not!
Yes, I think we are. Tell me, do you own a motorcycle?
No.
Bingo!

 

by bigworm
10-28-10
Did you hear about kangaroo's kid?
No, what happened?
He's 5 years old and he just sits in the pouch all day long, watching t.v.!
So he's just a couch potato!
Right?

 

by bigworm
10-29-10
I wish a pussy would walk by.
*ka-ching*... *jigga-jigga... jigga-jigga... jigga-jigga... jigga-jigga...*
Yeh baby! Two for the price of one! *jigga-jigga... jigga-jigga... jigga-jigga... jigga-jigga...*
Meow?

 

by bigworm
10-29-10
I'm a cat.
I'm a pussy.
I don't get fucked.
I get paid.
I have pride.
Homo!

 

Jack...
Lord...
by bigworm, 10-29-10

 

...as seen from inside heaven's anus.
by bigworm, 10-29-10

 

by bigworm
10-29-10
So you use your numerous alternate accounts to downrate other users that you don't like.
Yeth.
Of course, you must also rate your own multiple accounts highly, in effect putting you in control of almost everyone else's rating.
Yeth.
So you're the biggest member on the site.
You mean the biggest prick?

 

by bigworm
10-31-10
Forgive me papa-san, for I have thrown a bowl of chop suey in my girl's face.
Eat 1 lizard's penis, and hail Buddha 5 times for a rickshaw!

 

by bigworm
10-31-10
Why do you mock me papa-san?
I must do what needs to be done...
... so as to exorcise...
... the 'chink' in your belief!

 

by bigworm
10-31-10
Did you say "... the chink in my belief?"
Yes.
R.O.F.L.M.A.O.!!! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!
AAH... HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA AH-SO... AAH... HA HA HA HA HA HA HA AH-SO... AAH... HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA AHH-SO!!!
Me make you laugh long time?

 

by bigworm
10-31-10
Tell me my son... why are you wearing a tie?
I have to wear one at work, and I just didn't take it off yet.
Oh really? I never heard of that before!
What?
Gardening with a tie on!

 

by bigworm
10-31-10
So, why did you sit so long under the bodhi tree?
To become 'lightened'.
Don't you mean to become 'enlightened'?
No.
I was taking a dump!

 

by bigworm
10-31-10
Are you saying it took YEARS for you to become 'lightened'?
It was a big dump!

 

by bigworm
10-31-10
Well, you've really thrown a wrench into the western perspective on buddhism.
How so?
The west believes that you sat under the bodhi tree until you became 'enlightened' by virtue of meditation.
Believe me...
... I was meditating the whole time!

 

by bigworm
10-31-10
Lord, I'd like to thank you for all you've given me... the good and bountiful foods you've laid upon my table...
... and the ability to commune directly with you...
... through little boys conduits.

 

by bigworm
11-01-10
See what I got in my hand? You want some'a dat?
Easy now... easy...
...I don't want da black comin' off!

 

ANS.- BY THE STAINED COTTON-PUFF WINDOWS!
by bigworm, 11-01-10

 

by bigworm
11-11-10
Tell me one mo' time what 'choo go say if da' police jack you up!
Gum job... $20?

 

by bigworm
11-11-10
Goddamnit granny, don't never say dat shit to da' police!
Try one more time.
Oh no officer... I would never walk on the street. I'm just out for an evening stroll...
... ambulating on the sidewalk.

 

by bigworm
11-15-10
It must be embarrassing for you, huh? You've been caught 29 times with your pants down.
How the fuck does someone get caught 29 times with their pants down?
Well... first I pull my pants down.
Then I just wait.

 

by bigworm
11-15-10
I couldn't imagine getting caught with my pants down one time, let alone 29 times.
One time is all it would take to cure me.
I remember the first time for me.
I was hooked.

 

by bigworm
11-16-10
Oh Lord!!! Please help me in my moment of need! My best friend is hooked on pulling his pants down.
He's been caught (as you already know), 29 times!
29 times isn't an exact figure.
Thank you Lord for your hasty response.
Those are just the reported cases.

 

by bigworm
11-16-10
Listen... we live in a society that demands certain behaviors not be expressed.
You can't just pull your pants down anytime or any place.
I hope you feel better knowing that I agree with that.
I always choose the time and place.

 

by bigworm
11-16-10
Honey please! Not here! We're at the mall for gods sake!
C'mon man! Pull your fuckin' pants down, they're your pants!!!
Not here either! This is right in front of a grammar school!
Don't let that bitch tell you what to do!
Okay darling... you're right. I will curb my instincts to pull out my big horse-dong. I promise I won't do it again.
I knew this was fake!!! You call this 'Reality Barnyard'??!!! That's not how real horses act!

 

by bigworm
11-16-10
Father...?
You can call me 'daddy'.
I think I might be a homo.
You can call me 'big daddy'.
I need resolution.
You can call your 'big daddy' tonight.

 

by bigworm
11-17-10
I killed her not...
I killed her...
I killed her twice!?

 

by bigworm
11-17-10
I've got one finger pointing to heaven, and another up my ass...
...what does that mean?
It's as if you're telling God...
..."I'm going to die as an intractable, queer, solitary, auto-erotica obsessed clown." Bravo!!!

 

by bigworm
11-17-10
I just got my automatic swiveling pervert's chair'.
The microphone is so that my neighbors can hear the 'wap wap' sounds.
I'll probably cum in 10 seconds.

 

by bigworm
11-17-10
Oh alas, alack, and so without hope am I!
Ahem...!!! I said, Oh alas, alack, and so without hope am I!
I heard you the first time!
Then you've probably noticed my mojo is risen!
Forget it... I've got my own nuts to eat!

Showing page 14.

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