All comics by arbi

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by arbi
7-02-06
Large asteroid will miss Earth tomorrow BELFAST, Ireland, July 2 (UPI) -- An asteroid with the power to wipe out a small country will miss the Earth tomorrow, the Sunday Telegraph reported.
Houston, we have a problem?
Asteroid 2004 XP14 is nearly half a mile wide and was discovered in December 2004. It is in the "Apollo" class of asteroids, which are those that cross orbits with Earth.
Initial speculation by scientists predicted the possibility of impact with Earth later this century, but that conclusion has been ruled out, the newspaper said.

 

by arbi
7-05-06
so, how much did your free national city checking account cost you this month?
five dollah. you?
$30.

 

by arbi
7-06-06
Last night I was at this slave auction . A pair of twins went for $60... I should have kept bidding.
it raised money for a kitty shelter
did: wrote some letters to credit card companies. did a first draft of a letter to the prosecutors about tristin hall. washed dishes. cleaned my room, watered the garden, planted mustard.
wrote a request for a retraction to a tv station that slandered me.
Need to buy stamps.
july 1st was cool - we had jugglers with knives and fire.

 

by arbi
7-19-06
I don't feel like I got much done today.
But I did write my state senator, write the lt. governor, wrote to Habitat, so that's three things.
We've had a heat wave lately, and my air conditioner blew a fuse, so I've been just reading mostly.
took out the trash, weeded the tomatoes...
I could do laundry and make a few phone calls. howard dean's number: 202 863-8000.

 

by arbi
7-20-06
it rained so the heat wave broke. my big project for the day was i cleaned the living room.
cleaning the basement will be a whole other deal
i wrote out my to do list online, but no progress in actually getting things done.
it's too wet to mow.. no shovel handy.. writer's block still strong
to do: think of punchline , edit comic.
Anyway, it's off to the club for now.

 

by arbi
8-15-06
first, separate your laundry into three piles, black, white, colored.
does dark blue go in with black?
did this week: 13 loads laundry
ok
then i just have black
ok

 

by arbi
8-21-06
I have nothing to say. Not that that used to stop me.
I've just gotten out of the daily habit of doing these.
I have worse habits now, I guess.
sigh. if i start making a comic every day again, maybe in a week or two i can come up with a punchline.

 

by arbi
8-21-06
rbannis.com
Down the street from the coffeehouse where I get online, there's this empty old mansion where a mad scientist used to make strange devices
i pulled a few oscilloscope amplifiers out of their dumpster this week, and some stuff I don't even know what it is. The historical society is cleaning it up a bit before eventual sale.
I don't suppose you have 1.6 million I can borrow? I'd like to buy the place, or at least be a caretaker.

 

by arbi
8-21-06
I'm supposed to be working on a case, but I have writer's block, so it's coming along slowly, a paragraph a day, 15 pages of notes so far.
It's about my roommate Joell. They say his paperwork was too late to be on the ballot for state representative, and they won't even let him be a write-in. Also, they don't let him vote, and don't
let him into city hall.
So I'll be arguing the 4th amendment and the 1st and 14th and the state constitution.
It should be fun.. I'm just having trouble getting started.

 

by arbi
8-30-06
so i have this new job. i drive these crazy indian engineers around while they check cell tower data.
right! left! stop here.
at times the insults get so deep i consider pulling over, tossing the keys away, and walking home.
you are a terrible driver
if i don't get fired, which seems most likely, i'll spend the next month punch drunk from not enough sleep
we will be done in another 16 hours

 

by arbi
9-06-06
Didja hear? Deisel Sweeties has been picked up by a major comic syndicate, and will be in papers soon.
Yeah, I heard that at BoingBoing so I checked Websnark for the full scoop.
The better news is that the author didn't have to sign away his rights, so we can [probably?] still use these characters.
Not that we ever do.
I had an uncle in the syndicate once...

 

http://www.stripcreator.com/forums/ showthread.php? postnum=197848&page=58
Crikey!
by arbi, 9-15-06

 

by arbi
9-20-06
(disco beat)
Last chance.. last pants..

 

by arbi
9-20-06
The RIAA is headed by a man named david isrealite, who I used to go to school with. He's hired a big kansas city law firm to sue millions of internet users for listening to music.
It's difficult to win a lawsuit like that if you play by their rules. The important thing is to play by your own rules.
They accuse you guys of being pirates. Alrighty then. Sharpen your cutlasses and prepare your grappling hooks.
Prepare for boarding. Take no quarter.
This concludes today's talk like a pirate day presentation.

 

by arbi
9-22-06
The check cleared, so I'm no longer broke. I mailed off $2000 for my back taxes, paid the electric bill before it got cut off, paid the gas bill, paid my lawyer dues.
All of this by bicycle; I have a flat tire I haven't fixed yet.
Didn't pay the car insurance yet. I wrote some letters, like to the usps inspector general, and printed some irs forms.
I had a good meeting with the secretary of state's office about voter ID. I sent in my timesheet for the driving- engineers-around gig.
This concludes today's update of "talk like a pirate day"
Oh, and I put batteries in the remote, so now I can veg out in front of the free cable that somehow mysteriously arrived recently.

 

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1067957697383307855&q=aardvarks&hl=en
by arbi, 9-24-06

 

by arbi
9-25-06
I'd written last week's to do list on the back of an envelope, and I got most of that stuff done, but it turned out I forgot to open the envelope, so when i noticed it today, they said it was too late
and my claim had been denied because i didn't send the form in last week.
So i went over her head and called her boss and now I can just fax it in.
It's so rare that i ever win a round.
did: laundry, dishes, emails, a memo, cut some grass, cut my hair, took out trash, gave notice to the non-rent-paying non-chore-doing tenants.
didn't: fix the flat tire.

 

by arbi
9-25-06
We've been thrown through a rift in the space time continuum. Their leader's name is clinton.
42nd president of the united states, impeached.
http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/ The_young_scot/368481/
What sort of man is this clinton?
Khaaaan!

 

by arbi
9-26-06
Today I changed a tire that went flat last friday. I hate having to do mechnical stuff.
I've been writing a memo listing cases showing that my side wins, in a case about voter ID I'll be filing soon.
To do: that habitat thing is due this week, and my taxes. Two lawsuits running late. I start back to work in two weeks so I should hustle. Need to re-fax the thing and dry clean a suit.
Lat night at the club was fun - a customer I like just started as a dancer.
Then, while dumpster diving at 2 am I met hippie joe, who ran for congress this spring. We hit it off pretty well, lots in common.
I told my family I don't think i can make it to hawaii for xmas. Ardvarks would rather hiberbate than fly south for the winter.

 

hey, i'd love to stay and chat, but my roommate's making garlic baked garlic so i need to head home.
hey i wonder what happens if you hit clone panel in a one panel toon.
by arbi, 9-27-06

 

by arbi
9-27-06
did: went to city hall. went to habitat. went to library. went to different library that wouldn't cut me off mid-email.
faxed the thing. emailed the post office - irony?
the meeting went badly, but the followup correspondence should help resolve things.
i had way too much coffee today, so i got medicated to calm down a bit. i made a short list and got it done, instead of a long list not done.
so now i'm way too tired to ink in the comic.
i think i'll call it a day and go hang out at the coffeehouse

 

http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/umfumdisi/368657/
by arbi, 9-28-06

 

by arbi
9-28-06
http://www.flickr.com/photos/shannou/ sets/72157594301611254/
what do we want?
brains!
when do we want it?
brains!
you shall not pass.

 

by arbi
9-28-06
http://www.boingboing.net/
BillMonk: Roommate-ware for splitting bills H1kari sez, "When I shared an apartment, there was constant tension over who owed for utilities and beer. Later in life, my girlfriend and I would often
Now, a site called BillMonk lets you enter shared bills and objectively know where you stand with your friends. When you're on the go, you can record debts from your phone via SMS.
The notion of borrowing is extended to include your personal library so you can track which things are lent out. There's all sorts of cool features like auto-splitting bills, ties into amazon's
product lookup system for tracking your book collection, etc. I've found it super useful, so just thought I'd share it!"
I see you have mastered walking on water.

 

by arbi
10-02-06
One of my blogs, ballots.blogspot.com, covers election law.
The president of Brazil just got 49% in the election, so there will be a runoff. http:// www.publiuspundit.com/?p=2964
Election judges are wearing red noses to protest being drafted as election judges.
If not voting could change the system, it would be illegal.
It is.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGggKaR5lRA
by arbi, 10-03-06

 

by arbi
10-04-06
did: met with the IRS. Worked on trying to close the sale of my house.
Didn't get much else done. I got to the sushi place too late for happy hour. So i went here to the coffee shop, but the espresso machine is broken.
I'm having pomegranate-cherry juice. Nuts and berries.
Disclaimer:
Anyway, this next set of comix is a robot version of beat me in st louis.

 

by arbi
10-04-06
Clang clang clang, went the trolley!
Bling Bling Bling went the bell!
Boom Boom Boom went my heartstrings...
Something something... oh well.
This concludes today's robot theatre dress rehearsal.

 

http://www.penny-arcade.com/ comic/2006/10/09
It's ok, I'm a dentist.
by arbi, 10-11-06

 

by arbi
10-11-06
It's fall. I'm back at Kelly, grading tests. Today I dealt with a flattish tire, got stuck behind a train, then a schoolbus and ambulence, and still made it to work by 8:30.
Then I was late getting back from lunch, not that there was time to eat lunch.
The supreme court has started its October term.. the cases they've had so far just don't interest us much.
Woof.
I've had this bout of writer's block since May. I'm going to go home, eat lunch, come back later.
Deadline approaches rapidly... which is the only time I get anything done.

 

http://www.dieselsweeties.com/info.shtml
all you ever wanted to know about diesel sweeties
via boing boing
by arbi, 10-12-06

 

by arbi
10-16-06
Typical day. 8 minutes late to work. Rain. Salvaged a couple bikes and vaccum cleaners on the drive home. More junk I don't need -
One of my obsession/compulsions is I can't throw stuff away, so I have a little recycling business/hobby built around this trait.
I found a caldron too. It's actually a mixing bowl from a Hobart industrial mixer.
Anyway, so I came here to the library where I really need to get a lawsuit ready to file, but my writer's block kicks in and I get nothing done again today. I worked on it an hour last night.
So I've been blogging and reading blogs instead, and have just enough time for dinner at home before club night.
For those of you who must be new here, I don't tell jokes or make funny comix. I'm just an aardvark with a story to tell.

 

by arbi
10-16-06
In the last panel, I used the term "cerebus syndrome", which may be unfamilar to some of you who are not yet full time comicholics. So with little further ado, from the horse's mouth, the websnark.
Cerebus Syndrome The effort to create character development by adding layer upon layer of depth to their characters, taking a character of limited dimension (or meant to be a joke character) and
making them fuller and richer. The idea is to take what was fun on one level and showing the reality beneath it. 'Cerebus Syndrome' refers to Dave Sim's epic,
ometimes tragically flawed magnum opus, Cerebus the Aardvark. Cerebus started life as a parody of Conan the Barbarian starring an Earth-Pig born. Over time, it grew extremely complex, philosophical,
http://www.websnark.com/ archives/2004/09/ faq_lexicon.html
and in many ways much much funnier. Then, Dave Sim went batshit crazy and Cerebus went straight to Hell, but that's for another day.
People saw how Cerebus's humble roots could lead to glorious heights, and as cartoonists get bored with what they're doing, they decided to pull a Cerebus of their own.

 

http://www.wired.com/ news/columns/ 0,71922-1.html?tw=wn_story_page_next1
i was planning to continue making comics, but i got lost on the internet and now the library's closing.
by arbi, 10-16-06

 

by arbi
10-18-06
http://www.playfuls.com/ news_04812_ Internet_Addiction_Cripples_One _in_Eight_US_Adults.html
Researchers at Stanford in Silicon Valley released Tuesday an important study on American internet habits. The telephone study found that more than one of every 8 is addicted
If you are reading stripcreator, your risk factors may be slightly higher.

 

by arbi
10-18-06
Hee, hee--with my new time machine, I'll be able to go back and fuck...I mean, MEET various historical figures! Oh boy, oh boy, oh--
What happens if I pull THIS switch, Daddy?
You'll get parkinson's disease, or get cast on spin city.

 

by arbi
10-19-06
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/10/20/ science/20cloak.html?hp&ex= 1161316800&en=cd2cdec26f18ae3a&ei =5094&partner=homepage
Boffin Invents Invisibility Cloak
We go there now live
What happens if I pull this switch Daddy?

 

by arbi
10-26-06
Murdered rocker makes more than elvis
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/ servlet/story/ RTGAM.20061025.wdeadcelebs1025/ BNStory/Business/home
$50 million a year for doing nothing? Sounds like Nirvana.

 

you wanted funny? try these: http://www.monkeylaw.org/ links.php?type=1
by arbi, 10-27-06

 

by arbi
10-27-06
This just in - the Supreme Court, in a surprise ruling, issued a benchslap (TM) to the 9th circus, removing an injunction of Arizona's voter ID poll tax.
Actually, this happened last week, but we couldn't get logged in to make a comic.
http://joellpalmer.blogspot.com
Anyway, I'm just back from filing a lawsuit against voter ID in Indiana.
His client is joell palmer, who, at 25, has already won once at the supreme court, and is ready to go again.
$222 in filing fees. $50 at kinkos. $20 for a parking ticket. A week off from work.
The right to vote? still worth fighting for.

 

by arbi
10-29-06
Tomorrow the court will hear arguemtn in a case about the prison litigation reform act, about how much paperwork abused prisoners need to fill out before they can sue.
The court announced it will hear arguments between Microsoft and AT&T. Can you hear me now?
That prison litigation issue is likely to come up in one of my cases, against CCA, a chain of private prisons known for torture.
The court willl also be asked to reverse the ninth circuit in a case where a kid was suspended for wearing an anti-gay t-shirt.
We don't agree with his message, but support his right to wear it. Our call: the court will turn this one down, for now anyway.
In Scott v Harris, he court will consider whether running over a fleeing suspect violates the 4th amendment.

 

by arbi
10-29-06
roguerobot.com
yesterday, i went to a bunch of halloween parties. rt 40 was blocked off for a block party in irvington. i saw the blue monkey sideshow do the bed of nails trick.
first party was at the house of a local webcomic from rogue robot. since i'm vegetarian, i didn't try the snake liquor.
the next one was at the house of a teenage gay model in my neighborhood who sent me a myspace invite. the guests were mostly conventioneering future farmers of america
my friend kc bartends around the corner, so i stopped in. there were two busloads of people - every time before that bar's been almost empty.
then to joell's party like every other saturday night. the best costume would have been victor in his handmade chain mail, only i dont think he was in costume.
today i didn't do much, but i found a nice laptop somebody threw away, and i made yet another blog.

 

by arbi
10-30-06
how was my day, you didn't ask? oy. i'm tired and i need a bath.
got up at 6 after not much sleep, went to court but the person i needed wasn't in, went to work graded 3352 papers with 95% accuracy, went to tax office but the person i needed wasn't in.
waited in line at the courthouse, waited in line at the gas station. i have a constitutional inability to wait in lines. low frustration quotient.
how was my night, ask me that instead.
cute strippers gave me their emails. one of them let me drive him around. we hit the leather bar, the kareoke bar, the gift shop there where i used to work, then i dropped him off at the drag bar,
because it was past my bedtime. i knew i'd be tired in the morning, which i am. we werent even drinking, just having fun. i guess bringing him flowers last week is paying off.

 

by arbi
10-31-06
I got fired today, or maybe I quit. It was amicable. I can't really tell the story, because of confidentiality agreements.
They've been asking me to do something unethical, and I've been quietly refusing, and today push came to shove.
http://joellpalmer.blogspot.com
Just as well - I'm kinda busy with some stuff anyway. Had a nice email today from the wall street journal about my latest case.
It's raining. I'll go home. clean up a bit, then I'm supposed to call the cute boy from the other night, and joell's having a party tonight that now i can stay up for.
I guess I have less excuse now not to do the laundry* and clean the fridge.* ...... * next day: done and done.
I'll take some time off, then maybe go work for ups or sign up for medical experiments at eli lilly.

 

by arbi
11-01-06
http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/ christopher7murphy/372561
Mam, I could toss in an anal probe and you could get a Happy Meal.
Yes, please.
That scenario actually reminds me of the last time I went shopping.

 

by arbi
11-01-06
Fun party last night. Slept in, did the dishes, went to court where the TRO was officially denied, filed a public records request that I expect will get denied, filled out some forms and did some
... research, and stopped by the court of appeals to explore what i can do next, but that step would be $250 the client doesn't want to spend.
I guess I can think of a couple of motions I could be drafting now.
I'm not very good at structuring my own time. At least when I had a job I could score a test and go on to the next one. As my own boss, I'm not always sure what to do next.
call mom, contact reuben, go clean the rental house, now that the pit bull has been evicted. clean the basement. evict a few more widows and orphans.
.. or go home, fix a real dinner, watch a movie. path of least resistance.

 

by arbi
11-01-06
Kerry, yesterday:
I apologize to no one!
today:
I personally apologize to any service member, family member or American who was offended.
Cheney:
He was for the joke before he was against it.

 

by arbi
11-01-06
Today the supreme court heard argument - oh wait, this just in!
Harvard Medical School report a natural substance found in red wine, known as resveratrol, offsets the bad effects of a high-calorie diet in mice and extends their lifespan.
They had all the pleasures of gluttony but paid none of the price.
http://instapundit.com/ archives/033687.php
hic

 

by arbi
11-02-06
**** all y'all!
A four star rating! Finally. I can die happy now.

 

by arbi
11-03-06
cornercoffeeindy.com
so i'm here at the coffeehouse. i really only come here for the free net access, but right now,
i'm having this killer yam-peanut butter soup, and there are folksingers. i just heard "christmas in prison"
it's some kind of aids orphans benefit, man
it's the first real food i've had in some time. it's the next day, and i'm back for more soup.

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