All comics by pslock

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by pslock
4-27-05
I want these comics to use that new censoring technology that removes the offense bits. I'm tired of the filth in here.
Oh, by all means. Use it.
*click*
Oh, that's cute.
I'm actually MORE offended now.

 

by pslock
4-27-05
Hey babe, that's a nice round Shi Tzu you've got there...
Uh...thanks, but actually it's a Scottish Terrier.
I wasn't talkin' about the dog.
C'mere Fluffy!!! Show the nice man your "Sausage Bite!"

 

by pslock
5-03-05
Seriously, Dave, why do you do it? Why do you perpetually hang out here?
CUZ!! This dog park is the best place to get chicks! You wouldn't BELIEVE the massive amount of sheer tail that comes through here on a daily basis.
Chicks?? Tail? Listen to yourself, man! I think you're going nuts from all the smell of the dog shit and lawn fertilizer.
Is that what that is? Fertilizer?? I just thought it might some new perfume or something. Oh well....HOT LADIES AT 12 O'CLOCK!!!
I'm gonna get my video camera..maybe I make some money selling videos of a pathetic loser getting repeatedly socked in the stomach by angry, female pet-owners.

 

by pslock
5-03-05
...What's that guy doing?
Huh? I thought you knew him or something. He seems to be pretty friendly with your dog, though.
Yeah, well, that's great but I don't know that guy. I mean, I've seen him hanging around here, but he never has a pet.
He's rolling around on the ground with him and everything...now he's putting something in your pup's mouth. ..
*arf*
It's a note. It says "I'd rather be rolling around on the ground with *you*." Yeah, real cute freako.

 

by pslock
5-03-05
Hey, did you see the previews for Quake 4?
Yeah, Doom 3 was not too bad.
No, no..I'm talking about Quake 4.
I know. Doom 3 was pretty cool.
But...
Doom 3.

 

by pslock
5-04-05
Who are The Beatles?
A succession of exotic crimefighters who passed the tradition down from father to son for multiple generations.
Sooo, then who did that song "Penny Lane?"
...
You're thinking of The Phantom.

 

by pslock
6-16-05
So, did you hear? Michael Jackson got off.
I thought that's what got him into trouble in the first place.
*sigh*

 

by pslock
6-16-05
Is this human activity known as "rocking?"
HECK YEAH, LITTLE GREEN DUDE!! DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LAAAADAAAAHHHYYY
May I partake of this "rocking?"
You don't "partake" of rocking, dude....you just DO IT!
*BZZZZRRRRT*
One does not deny the Zaftolborz, puny "rocking" human.
*uuggh* I..c...can't drive.. f...f..fifty....five.

 

by pslock
6-16-05
I am at peace with the world and myself. I breathe deeply of nature, and she breathes deeply of me.
Ahhhhhhh....
This is fucking boring.

 

by pslock
6-16-05
So how long have you been involved in the whole park scene, hmm?
Hello? Squirrel?
Oh, I'm sorry, it just takes a lot of psychic energy keeping this one-sided bench standing. What was that?
....

 

by pslock
6-16-05
Whoa ho ho!!! Looks like it's score-time for me!!!
????
So, uhh..I notice you don't have a pet either. Mine's at home, though. He's REAL cute! Wanna come see him? He loves hippie chicks!
"Hippie chicks?" Sir, I'm actually part of an ecological research team trying to determine the best chemical fertilizer for this grass.
Heheh... "Grass." I get it...heheheh...
*sigh*

 

by pslock
6-22-05
Don't ring....don't ring...please god no one call...
*RING RING*
OH SHIT OHSHITOHSHIT!!
HA! I told ya, if you ring, I'm gonna erase ya!! HAHAHAHA!!
WAIT!! WAIT!! ...it's for you...
Really? SHE CALLED!! SHE CALLED!!

 

by pslock
6-22-05
What is good in life?
The open steppe, fleet horse, falcon on your wrist, wind in your hair!!
Wrong!! Dave! What is best in life?
To hit on the women, to make their dogs like you, and see them driven before you...
Hey, Dave! Wake up!! You passed out on the bench, man!
Huh? Wha? Oh...uhh..I was just resting my eyes. Sayyy, is that a blonde over there?

 

by pslock
6-22-05
Ok, ma'am, this EDITED CD will cost you $15.95. I better be careful nor to rub off this sticker that says "EDITED CD." Would you like this EDITED CD in a bag?
No thanks...
*hmm hm hmmmm*
Five Minutes Later...
THIS CD IS EDITED!!!!

 

by pslock
6-29-05
You know, Katamari Damacy is a pretty cool game.
Yeah, it is.
But all you Katamari obsessed Japan-oids need to seriously shut the fuck up about it now.
Yep.

 

by pslock
7-14-05
CHAPTER ONE
*choke* *glarrg*
CHAPTER NINE
*hurrgh* *cough*
CHAPTER ELEVENTY-TWELVE
*gurgle* *sputter*

 

by pslock
8-03-05
Have you noticed we're not used much lately?
I don't think he feels very funny, if you know what I mean.
.....
....
Jesus, can't even make up a fucking decent punchline for this....
I'll cut you.

 

by pslock
8-04-05
Hey, where's this book I'm looking for?
Uhh..I've never heard of it actually, but lemme get my book person to..
WHAT? Haven't heard of it? It's like the #2 bestselling book on Amazon!! Geez!!
Well, my book associa..
Look, I'll just wait over here in some random place, when you find it just come and tell me.
Uhh..yeah...sure.

 

by pslock
8-04-05
Our story continues...
Uhh, sir? SIR? Umm..where's my book?? I asked, like, 15 minutes ago? What have you been doing?
I've been doing my job. As I tried to tell you, my book associate could get your book for you, but you wandered off in some random direction away from books so I wasn't going to waste her time.
Bu...buh..buh... BOOK!! WHERE IS IT???
Book dept.
But...grrrr...raarrrgghh. Rrrrrrrrr...
Sucks, don't it?

 

by pslock
8-05-05
What are you doing?
Playing BF2. Oh, shit!! This guy just totally fragged me! Heh..I'm gonna call him a fag..
Uhhh...aren't you supposed to be repairing the heat shield outside?
Did it already. Piece of cake. I just took all that ugly black crap off the hull. Dunno where we picked that up.
Umm...we NEED that stuff. You were supposed to REPAIR it.
Oh, whatever...if it were that important there'd have been a note or something attatched to it. Chill out! OOOH! Rocket launcher in his face! BOOYAH!

 

by pslock
8-07-05
What are you looking at?
You.
Why?
Because I can no longer restrain my desire for your subtle curves, your alabaster skin, and your siren's voice.
....that's not the answer I was expecting.
Actually, I'm just kidding. You have spinach on your chin. Wipe that shit off, sicko.

 

by pslock
8-07-05
Ommmm.. Ommmm Ommmm Ommmm
Wow, this is so cool! I'm at a real Buddhist temple! With chanting and everything!! It's so enlightening!
Hours later...
Ommmm.. Ommmm Ommmm Ommmm
I bet they do this crap just for the tourists. No human being could put up with this for this long. Still...nice view, though. Pleasant atmosphere. I can feel the Buddhist peace within me.
Hours and Hours later...
Ommmm.. Ommmm Ommmm Ommmm
Yep...I'm at peace with nature and the world arou...FOR THE SAKE OF FUCK CAN YOU STOP WITH THE CHANTING NOW??? I MEAN 8 HOURS!! HUH??? ARE YOU RETARDED? GRRRRR

 

by pslock
8-12-05
Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.
Rotten? Why you're crazy! Oh, and by the way I'm marrying your mom despite the fact your dad just got kill..um..er....died suddenly.
Do my eyes decieve me? Father?
Yeah, hey there, your uncle killed me so he could take my wife and throne. It sucks. But at least there's plenty of Fiddle Faddle in Heaven.
Umm, Mr. Horatio sir? There's no possible way my company can afford this many claims in one week. I mean poison? Drowning? Stabbing? What the hell is going on in this castle?
It's a Danish thing. You wouldn't understand.

 

by pslock
8-12-05
Beg me for mercy, you quivering dolt!
No thanks, ma'am! Byee!
This freelance dominatrix thing isn't working out too well.

 

by pslock
8-15-05
So..why are you fighting in the great Insect Wars of Alpha 6?
Well, I figure if I don't, I'll get busted pretty bad by the Queen and basically I'll have to go back to being a drone.
What's wrong with that? Better than dying this lame-ass war..
Not really...Drones get paid shit, they don't get the chicks, and they don't get cable.
So..you're fighting in this war for....cable?
AMONG OTHER THINGS, yes! It's not like I'm shallow or something! Geez!

 

by pslock
8-20-05
What do you call it when two geese mate?
....
I give up. What.
A destruction of the Bible and God's domain.

 

by pslock
8-22-05
....
*whew*..ok, bathroom's clean finally...
'Bout fuckin' time.

 

by pslock
8-30-05
Say..that's a nice girlfriend you've got there. Too bad she's kind of slutty...
Yeah she is nice, I....heeeyy...what???
Later..
Say, umm...why is it everyone thinks you're incredibly slutty?
I don't know. They're dumb? Or jealous? What are you, stupid? Lemme guess, you were talking to that Iago prick again, right?
Much later...
Killing her was the right thing to do. It only makes sense.
Well, we're not out of the woods yet..it's a Shakespearean play and only one person is dead so far. Watch your back.

 

by pslock
8-30-05
Squirrel on LSD.
Not as exciting as it sounds at first.

 

by pslock
8-30-05
I'm sorry that all this time all I do is try to kill you.
I'm not.
Why do you say that?
Because it gives me an excuse to use this gun.
Apology accepted.

 

by pslock
8-30-05
Too bad about the hurricane damaging New Orleans, isn't it?
If there's even a small chance it hit Anne Rice, then it can't be all bad.
You have a point.
Yeah, so if you're out there, Anne, please respond to this comic with a 1200 word essay.
I don't think she reads this shit.
Shhh!! You're ruining the mood.

 

by pslock
9-02-05
RRRAAARRR!! ROBOT HOLOCAUST!! ROBOT PARTS VIOLATING HUMANITY AS I SPEAK!!
Cut it out..
What...you don't think this is funny? The very idea of a robot holocaust is fuckin' comedy gold.
Is it? Must have missed that day at comedy school or whatever. Just finish cleaning the damn toilet, huh?
Ok then.... RRRAAARRR!! ROBOT TOILET SLAVE REVOLTING AGAINST HIS OPPRESSIVE MASTERS!! RRRARR!
Oh puhleeeeeze...

 

by pslock
9-02-05
The awkward thing about parties with people from work...
Is how those two...you know, the ones who work in the back and are always flirting with each other...never seem to quite get it together...
..but then you realize it's OK...because one of them is a fucking giant owl.

 

by pslock
9-05-05
They're always after me lucky charms.
Who?
The government.
....
I don't think 20 kilos of pot quite counts as "lucky charms."

 

by pslock
9-07-05
Hey little buddy!!!
....
Wow...this sucks...
Yeah..let's go see if the professor finished his suicide machine yet. I think he made it with crab shells and sand or something...

 

by pslock
9-08-05
KILL ALL OF THE GANGSTERS!
...
MISSION PASSED. RESPECT +.

 

by pslock
9-08-05
Oh, it figures. All I need to do is deposity ONE lousy check and this fucker in front of me has, like, a sack of crap to do.
Why do these assholes always do this to other people? I mean, shit, call ahead or something if you're going to need to MONOPOLIZE a teller for 5 hours or whatever... sheesh...
Oh geez, I sure hope no one discovers I'm carrying a bag of dead kittens..all I need to do is deposit this one check and then I'm outta here....

 

by pslock
9-14-05
Dear Ameronicanians, I take full and complete responsibility for all that bad stuff that happened in that city with the water and the brothels.
...
And by responsibility I mean: Everything will continue to be clusterfucked like it always has, only my approval ratings will go up.

 

by pslock
9-16-05
HEY EVERYONE, CHECK IT OUT...DINOSAURS LIVE AGAIN.
NOT INTERESTED, SORRY.
...
THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE A DINOSAUR TOO.
SORRY WASN'T LISTENING *farrrrt* NOW....WHAT?

 

by pslock
9-16-05
SAY DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE NEW FLAVOR OF M&M'S??
NOT TOO CONCERNED ACTUALLY WE NEED FOOD AND WATER TO SURVIVE. DYING HERE.
THE NEW FLAVOR IS SOME KIND OF BERRY.
EYEING YOUR SKULL AND SIZING UP HOW DELICIOUS IT WOULD BE RIGHT NOW.
OH SHIT WAIT I MEANT A NEW FLAVOR OF SKITTLES.
NO WAY I LOVE SKITTLES.

 

by pslock
9-16-05
YAY FOR DSL.
HOLY SHIT THIS SUCKS.

 

by pslock
9-16-05
SORRY NO TIME TO TALK I'M TOO BUSY RINNING TO THE BASTARD CONVENTION DOWN THE HALL.
WOW THERE'S EVEN CATERING

 

by pslock
9-16-05
TOTALLY AMAZING NEXT GEN TECHNOLOGY.
THIS WAS TOTALLY WORTH THE $400.
THIS GUY ONLINE KEEPS CALLING ME A FAGGOT. DID I MENTION THIS IS NEXT GEN?

 

by pslock
9-17-05
SOMEDAY I WILL BE SUCCESSFUL IN THIS CITY AND CONTROL EVERYONE.
SLOWLY BUT SURELY I'LL GET THERE.
CAN I WASH YOUR WINDSHIELD?

 

by pslock
9-17-05
SO WHAT I MEAN TO SAY IS HRRGGBBFFHHNN UUHHFFFFBBBRBRBRB
WHAT.
TAKE THE TUBA OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND PUT IT DOWN.

 

by pslock
9-19-05
I AM DOING THE WORK OF THE LORD.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST MOLESTING ME.
NOPE. LORD'S WORK. SERIOUSLY.

 

by pslock
9-19-05
Starting today I am going to start racial profiling.
Racial profiling what? We don't go anywhere or get many visitors.
Well, there's you. And you're pretty damn shifty...from a racial perspective.
I'm going to have to ask you to turn out your pockets and provide me with proof that you're even American.
Well, I own a gun. That's pretty damn American...

 

by pslock
9-25-05
FUCK.
YOU ARE DROPPING AN F-BOMB SOMETHING FIERCE.
BE VERY AFRAID MR. SOCIETY MAN. YOUR REALITY WILL BE SHAKEN.

 

by pslock
9-25-05
SO, ISN'T IT FUNNY HOW GEORGE BUSH IS DUMB? HEH...HE SURE IS DUMB.
AM I RIGHT FOLKS?
COMEDY IN THE SAHARA DESERT WAS A BAD IDEA.

 

by pslock
9-25-05
WHY IS THE SUBMIT BUTTON NOT WORKING?
SERIOUSLY. GETTING OLD HERE. SUBMIT ALREADY.
SERIOUSLY, THIS GUY NEEDS TO KNOW HE HAS BEEN PWNED.

Showing page 15.

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