All comics by arbi

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by arbi
11-05-06
W
Barbara
Jeb
Jenna
George 41
Barbara

 

by arbi
11-05-06
This just in - Saddam convicted, sentenced to die by hanging.
France urges commutation, surrender.
Appeals could take up to two weeks.
excuse us, we have to cut and run now.

 

by arbi
11-05-06
The United States Supreme Court upheld the 5th circuit's ruling in a texas case about absentee ballots
or something
http://joellpalmer.blogspot.com
This is the second election case the court has heard in the past few weeks.
Meanwhile, the Indiana Supreme Court will decide Monday whether to take a votings rights case....
... brought by one Arbitrary Aardvark.

 

http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/ Hatrix/373046
Gross corruption, covering for sexual predators, extreme hipocracy, bribery, misuse of taxpayer money...
But enough about Hillary
by arbi, 11-06-06

 

http://palindromes.hobby-site.org/
Mr Owl ate my metal wOrM.
by arbi, 11-07-06

 

by arbi
11-07-06
A man, a plan, a cat, a ham, a yak, a yam, a hat, a canal — Panama!
A Dan, a clan, a canal — Canada!
A Toyota's a Toyota.
A santa at NASA
A dog! A panic in a pagoda!

 

http://www.heraldtribune.com/apps/pbcs.dll/ article?AID=/20061108/APP/611080960
ha ha!
by arbi, 11-08-06

 

Rumsfeld quits, replaced by Gates
In a world without walls or fences, who needs Windows and Gates?
by arbi, 11-08-06

 

by arbi
11-09-06
http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/ lukket/373367/
Quack!
http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/ Scyess/373341/
be vewwy vewwy quiet. we is hunting scyesses
did: went to a pretty good CLE. $200. 4 more to go. bar dues $165. parking ticket $12
didn't: get my taxes in. for sometime last century. i'll take them in tomorrow.

 

by arbi
11-09-06
long ranger comic part 4
Good thing you didn't try the back door.
one of the seminars today had a list of 8 warning signs you might be a depressed lawyer
I'm batting 8 out of 8
#7: you have trouble finishing projects

 

by arbi
11-09-06
blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank
blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank blank
blank blank blank blank blank blank
blank blank blank blank blank blank
blank blank blank blank blank, blank fuck blank.

 

by arbi
11-09-06
Do you have this in an XXS?
By second grade I was 5' 2"! By fifth grade I was wearing a size 12 shoe! In eighth grade I was shopping at the, Big and Tall, and the coaches had me playing High School football.
Double XL, Double XL! Dont call me on the phone just ring my dinner bell. Double XL Double XL! Im a lean, mean, love machine that likes to be held,
A skinny little pretty boy aint what they wanna hold, they want a real man with meat on his bones! I'll yank their Yankees, ring their Southern Belles, they say "ooo bbbppp we love a double XL!"
oh wait. No.

 

by arbi
11-09-06
Do you have this in XS?
I only drink to XS

 

Do you have this IN_XS?
Just Keep Walking, What you need, Stay Young, Don't Change, Suicide Blonde
by arbi, 11-09-06

 

by arbi
11-09-06
In Mohammed v Harvey, the Supreme Court will decide whether to take the case of an American sentenced to die in Iraq.
The Bush administration wants the court to not take the case, and wants to send him.
In completely unrelated news, the GOP lost the house, the senate, 9 state houses, 6 governorships, their lunch, and my mom.

 

by arbi
11-10-06
the library closes in an hour and i feel like i havent gotten enough done today. i guess i could go get online at the coffee shop.
picked up the mail, waited on hold re my credit card, copied some tax forms, the government buildings i needed to go to were closed for veternarians day
the first two coffeeshops i went to were out of coffee so i wound up at starbucks, a sort of last resort. also ran into 3 old friends. got and sent some emails, added some webcomics to my home page.
didn't write the doug page memo or the habitat memo or the cca discovery requests or the cle form or the status report on the emergency stay motion.
to do: pay rent, car ins.
i found out the irs was trying to garnish my wages at the job i just quit, so i pulled my money out of the bank i'd been using.
i hope muggers aren't reading my comics.

 

by arbi
11-13-06
it took 3 edits, but i like this comic now
On thursday I went to one of those seminars about professional responsibility, which included learning about resources for depressed lawyers.
On friday, the government buildings were closed so I spent this morning doing the things I didn't do Friday. The IRS meeting went well, all things considered.
Sunday I didn't get out of bed, just watched bad movies on cable. And now I have writer's block again. I'm stuck, not able to write the latest emergency stay motions I need to file.
Some of you, being new here, wonder why some donkey is whining about his personal issues instead of telling jokes.
http://xkcd.com/c50.html
It's not for you.

 

by arbi
11-13-06
I have a toothache.
A toothache is one of those things that grows on you. At first, it's a little hint to go to the dentist. But you can get used to chronic pain, and almost forget it's there.
Meanwhile, living with chronic pain is one of the stressors that can set off depression, which can lead to fatalism and not wanting to make the call to go to the dentist, so you just take an asprin,
or drink that extra beer. soon, it's 6 aspirin a day and you've made the appointment, but then you get captured by neonazis.
i guess i better call the dentist soon.
we don't want to go though all that again

 

by arbi
11-13-06
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xkcd
The correct title of this article is xkcd. The initial letter is shown capitalized due to technical restrictions.
well, it amused -me- anyway

 

by arbi
11-16-06
paid water bill, went to meeting, wrote motion: did 3 out of 10 things on today's list.
for the past couple days i didn't do much, lay around the house watching tv, and I felt fine about it.
i'd decided i didn't after all need to file a motion for reconsideration with the court of appeals, so i could relax.
i was late because the office is on south East street, not Southeast street.
but then i found out while surfing the web that there are several races that turn on the outcome of my case, where they are still counting votes,
so came here and banged out a motion, and polished it tonight after a meeting with one of those firms that claims they will take on the irs for you.
they wanted to sell me a pig in a poke for $800, in addition to whatever they would have charged for what i wanted from them, so i walked out.
i think i lost my phone somewhere. overall, a good day. Now off to the club.

 

by arbi
11-16-06
Texas's high criminal court is in a standoff with Bush, over a guy who was sentenced to death without a visit from his consultate, a right under the World Court.
It's a classic confrontation between the state and the feds, and between the courts and the executive.
Bush might actually be right on this one. It's very complex. It might get appealed to the Supreme Court.
Your thoughts?

 

by arbi
11-16-06
I am a frightened forest animal. Please help me feel loved. (whimper)
Aww, what is it you're scared of?
Nancy Pelosi

 

by arbi
11-16-06
free market conservative monetarist 1912-2006
Milton Friedman, RIP
market anarchist extropian, 1945-
David Friedman
seasteading googleplexer
Patri Friedman, or it it Kinky?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ Wikipedia:Articles_for_deletion/ Patri_Friedman

 

Actually, I was thrown out of choir in ninth grade, for being a one-note character. I'm tone deaf, but have an acute ability to notice civil rights violations.
by arbi, 11-17-06

 

by arbi
11-17-06
Today's going pretty well I guess. I cleaned my car and found my phone. I filed a motion in the court of appeals, but the nice clerk showed me how I need to redo it. Today's IRS meeting went better th
better than yesterday's. I got denied some public records at city hall and sent the usual complaining letters. The IRS was snooping around my house yesterday, scaring the tenants.
Last night I had one drink over my limit. The guy I've had a crush on came in and said goodbye - he's moving back to florida, so I'm again single with no dating prospects.
as opposed to single and delusionally hoping the guy might go out with me sometime. I called a dentist but didn't get to 5 other things on my list.
I have about 3 hours if I'm going to turn this motion into a brief and get it rotunda filed tonight,
so I'm making comix.

 

by arbi
11-20-06
TASER = Tom Swift and his Electric Rifle.
That memo i wanted to have done friday still isn't done. Otherwise today went well so far. 6 hrs of CLE: $210. Gas $20. Income $140. Shopping - free. Letter from IRS I havent opened - worthless.
Updated my blog with taser videos.
I just noticed I brought a to-do list, that can kill the 1/2 hour I have left here tonight.
I thought I had more to say. I can update later.
I'm going to break a promise to myself not to go to the club tonight until the memo's done.
If I get really caught up, I could do a mad dash to the east coast and have dinner with mom. Probly won't happen.

 

by arbi
11-21-06
I may have blogged too soon about how the election dispute in the Congo was proceding peacefully.
Supporters of the defeated candidate are burning the Supreme Court
Why didn't we think of that?

 

by arbi
11-21-06

 

by arbi
11-26-06
A case in the 7th circuit challenges the constitutionality of Indiana's statute banning political robocalls. The briefs for free-eats.com say that Clinton made robocalls in 2004, at a time when he
was disbarred for being an impeached perjurer embezzler and abuser.
Vote Dem or I will ******** you. Rawr.

 

by arbi
11-26-06
Last night I went to a pirate party at a star trek convention. Not the one in Baltimore I usually go to, this was starbase indy.
For the holiday I had some of the Wild Turkey punch.
I got to see Tasha Yar/Denise Crosby doing improv before they threw me out.
Yar!

 

by arbi
11-26-06
After I got an appeallate brief filed on Wednesday, I was driving east to spend Thankgiving with my family
Why is that truck in front of me suddenly swerving wildly?
OH! DEER!
There wasn't enough of the deer left to make a decent sandwich, and it turns out that it's hard to get a new radiator on thanksgiving in the Middle of Nowhere, Ohio.
$300 later, I'm back home.

 

by arbi
11-26-06
http://hardware.slashdot.org/hardware/ 06/11/26/0716228.shtml
News.com is running an article on an emotionally-responsive dinosaur robot that the Ugobe company has in the works for 2007. Called 'Pleo', the animatronic Apatosaurus will respond to the vocal
intonations of its owners. It won't be able to understand vocal commands; instead, its mood will be dictated by the tone of voice used at it. A terse tone can result in a depressed dino.
Programmable depressed robot dinosaurs.
What could possibly go wrong? Rawr.

 

by arbi
11-26-06
http://www.scotusblog.com/movabletype/ archives/ Gilmore_Full_Pet.pdf
Gilmore v Gonzalez is now on appeal to the Supreme Court.
It's a case by a founder of EFF about whether Homeland Security can have secret laws about air travel.
http://www.eff.org/legal/cases/ gilmore_v_gonzales/gilmore_amicus.pdf
Although John "lost" at the lower courts, his case did establish that you don't need an ID to fly.
Chances of the court taking the case are slim. He's got some very good lawyers, and solid legal issues, and it's the Ninth circuit after all.
www.papersplease.org/gilmore/
Stay tuned, rights fans.
oh wait. it turns out this was filed back in august. eff's brief was recently filed. but it's not the fresh news i thought it was.

 

by arbi
11-29-06
www.boingboing.net/2006/11/28/
Hey, look what I made out of some old floppy disks.
What is it?
No idea, but I figure it'll at least make it onto boingboing.

 

by arbi
11-29-06
monday i printed out a to do list, and i've gotten some of those things done. it helps that they mostly don't require writing. today i got an oil change, after waaaay too long, checked some
court records with 2 minutes to spare before it closed, checked my mail, met with the title company, mailed off 3 years of tax returns, cleaned the bathroom, raked leaves and puttered in the garden.
yesterday i didn't get much done except get dental xrays, dishes, filing.
things i didn't get done today include notarize documents, mail a letter, email about a tutoring gig, return a clipboard, and check on a return of a summons, or call mom.
still it's shaping up to be a productive week, for a bum who's too lazy to look for a job, and a guy so crazy he thinks he's an aardvark.
There are three memos I could be working on now.

 

by arbi
11-30-06
Hatrix sez:- Age humor. Older than dirt, there's dust when I try to pee, jesus and I were roomies, the big bang woke me up, kind of ancient. Death humor included. Bonus points for sarcasm
Happy B-day great grandma. Did you make a wish?
see, grammy, or cookie as she goes by lately, is the person who donated for me, and i'm still greatful for that
Yes, Connor, I wished it was -your- birthday.
There are only about 5 people who would get this injoke, and they probably don't still read my comic,and grammy wouldn't think it's funny, but hey it works for me.

 

by arbi
11-30-06
I got a tuneup, straightened out out the problem with the phone company, washed my blanket that my roommates' cat peed on, and made a list of all the things I need to do today.
The good news is that I made a list, typed it up, printed it out, so I know what I need to do today.
The bad news is that it's already 10 pm.

 

by arbi
11-30-06
Hey Connor
Hey Grammy B, Happy 100th B-day!
http://www.stripcreator.com/forums/ showthread.php?postnum=238949
some inside joke about a game I've never played or a forum I've never visited. Non donors make me feel left out.
What was that? I felt a great distubance in the force.
It's ok grammy. Just some inside joke about a forum you've never visited.

 

by arbi
12-01-06
http://howappealing.law.com/ 120106.html#020083
This just in!
The Supreme Court has just announced that it will hear three new cases, including < drum roll >
Bong hits for Jesus!
It's a case about a student's rights to free speech in the classroom.
It's gonna be a lot more fun to cite than the previous precedent, Tinker v Des Moines.
If only there were some way to celebrate this occasion

 

by arbi
12-01-06

 

by arbi
12-01-06
* rhymes with Rat+t
I have this little game I like to play, where I don't give out my social security number to big companies* who insist they need it.
It took me about a half hour of persisitent refusing,
but by the time I talked to the supervisor's supervisor,
they admitted they didn't really need my number, gave me a code to use next time, gave me a $40 credit, and did the thing I'd called and asked them to do.
I did get one memo typed up and turned into the court before it closed.
The only other thing I got done yet today was playing phone tag with a lawyer.

 

by arbi
12-04-06
Got 13 things done saturday, stuff like getting my truck back, writing a senator. But I lost my keys.
Sunday I did nothing. It was like 13 degrees out.
Monday, 4 more things. Looks to be a productive week.
I have just enough cash to make it the rest of the year, so I'll need to close the sale on the house, or live off my credit card for while.
Next year I can sell a few more properties or settle a lawsuit or get a job, or live off the house proceeds.
Except for the lost keys and the subfreezing temperatures, I'm not in crisis right now, have some calm time to catch up on things.

 

by arbi
12-10-06
http://www.aardvarkland.com/
I -think- I had a productive week but most of the individual days weren't productive.
I did a few big things that were important, wrote a few rough drafts of letters, mailed a few other things.
Today instead of writing memos I looked up pictures of aardvarks, and restaurants in hawaii.
Joell's 28th birthday party last night was fun. I danced, rare, and the cops came.
next day: did nothing, + bought shoes. day after: did nothing.
Off now to meet a friend at the club, or if the law school's open there's one case i'll look up.
This space left blank, to symbolize the things I didn't get done.

 

by arbi
12-13-06
Hey Brad, just letting you know, the background isn't displaying in the third panel.
(Our stripcreator god, Brad, had the comics offline for awhile last night to retool the backgrounds, even added at least one new one.)
That's why I wasted a few hours at his other site, In4mador or whatever it is.
I have work to do, so I'm desperately seeking escape by wasting time elsewhere online.
fixed same day. yay brad.
See? it's just blank.
Try control F5

 

by arbi
12-13-06
The aardvark is the only surviving species of the tubiladentata order of mammals..
Surprizingly, the aardvark is no relation to the anteaters, which can be distinguished by their lack of teeth. The similarity is called covergent evolution.
http://www.hornymanatee.com
Our nearest relatives are the elephants, the hyrax, which looks sort of like a rodent but isn't, and the manatee family.
The giant manatee and the mammoth are already extinct due to humans. The African elephants, the manatee, and the dugong (a manatee genus) are endangered.
I couldn't sleep last night because of anxiety about a hearing tomorrow, and I'm depressed with that despair I get when I have a deadline coming up for a memo.
It'll pass. I 've had this before enough to recognize the symptoms.

 

by arbi
12-13-06
Don't expect any comics from me till next year. (As if I actually had any readers left.)
I'll be too busy taking busses to chicago, planes to phoenix, planes and busses to a condo in maui
I'll be lying on the beach, soaking up rays, hanging out at hapa's tiki bar.
about what?.. mantas?
and stalking the elusive maui wowie

 

by arbi
12-13-06
this just in from howard bashman's how appealing blog
Hook provides an uncited, but novel assertion that the Founding Fathers would have considered 'blood extraction' to be 'cruel and unusual punishment' because, purportedly, '[v]ampires were feared and
and vilified' at the time of the Founding. Even accepting this proposition, blood extraction by a vampire is certainly distinguishable from a sanitary blood draw under current medical practice."
maybe i need to do something to enable comments?
> insert vampire joke <
> leave suggestions in comments section <

 

by arbi
12-14-06
We'll have you up and around in a jiffy, Senator.
After this brain operation, will I be able to play the piano?
How is he doctor?
Im afraid it's more serious than we thought.
Will he live? Can he stay in the senate?
Yes, but only as a Republican.

 

by arbi
12-15-06
http://www.beefyness.com/11.php
Hey I found a new webcomic. It's about an animal themed crimefighting antihero.
Where'd you run into something like that?
www.nerdcoreforlife.com/Artists3.html
On slashdot, natch. The beefy author is also a rapper geek.
This list is bogus. It's supposed to be the top 20 nerdcore rappers,
http://slashdot.org/articles/06/12/15/ 1325255.shtml www.lukeski.com/
, but it doesn't even mention Luke Ski, or Eminem.

 

by arbi
12-16-06
Hi this is R__ from myspace. Tell me more about urself
Now there's an open ended question. I'm an internet geek. http://slashdot.org/ ~arbitraryaardvark/ I'm not hot. www.hotornot.com/ r/?eid= NYRUNSK&key=QEP
I'm crazy www.okcupid.com/ profile?u=arbi I'm an aardvark. I'm twice your age. I blog. vark.blogspot.com I'm bigger than a breadbox. www.20q.com I want to move to http://raccooncreek. blogspot.com/
groups.yahoo.com/ group/joellsparty/
Any hobbies?
Pole dancing.

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