All comics by christopher7murphy

Profile

 

So, you're a tramp?
No.
Are you a vagrant? A hobo? A blight on society?
No. Try again.
Well...you know what? I really don't care what you are. hurumph!
Okay..now I'm bummed.

 

I'm a Vamp. A Scamp. And a bit of a Tramp.
I'm a V. A. M. P.
No...no. It's T. R. A. M. P....
TRAMP!

 

I'm a Vamp. A Scamp. And a bit of a Tramp.
I'm a V. A. M. P.
No...no. It's D. A. M. P.
DAMP!

 

I'm a Vamp. A Scamp. And a bit of a Tramp.
Why am I here?
I'm a V. A. M. P.
I'm just the president of General Electric?
LAMP!

 

YOU WILL KNEEL BEFORE ZOD! You will bow down before me!
Haha..actually my name is Terrance Stamp. I'm an actor. I portrayed Zod in the Superman Movies.
But seriously, get on your knees.

 

Who are you?
Lex Luthor! Greatest criminal mind of all time!
Could you help me meet Superman?
The fastest way to get his attention, is to destroy Shuster Street, blow up Siegel Boulevard ....
...and cross Lois Lane.

 

Name? Job title? Practiced religion?
Lex. Criminal Mastermind.
Agnostic.
However, I was raised Lutheran.

 

Are you the Pre-Crisis Lex Luthor? The Post Crisis Luthor? Or a Lex Luthor from an alternative universe?
Umm...
I'm the bald one.

 

Doobi-doobie-doo! La-La-La-La-La!
-sigh-
Humdee Dummdee Dumm!
I shaved my genitalia!

 
I shaved my genitalia!
But...I just enrolled you in the Pubic Hair Curlers of the Month Club.

 

Look! It's the Stripcreator Home Page! Oh my...look at all those recent comics by donors.
I wonder what happens if you click on "read this comic?"
Don't click on that..ohhh...too late!
It will be years before we make it to the front page again, darn you!
Hey, look! Someone left a comment!

 

Excuse me, citizen. I am here to apply for the position of Super-Hero.
I'm sorry. We already filled that position.
But I am RET-CON-MAN!
Excuse me, citizen. I am here to apply for the position of Super-Hero.
Great. Can you start right away?

 

Wow...have you lost weight?
Blahhhh..Why yes!
I decided to go out and get a complete make over.
I've been totally REVAMPED!

 

You don't remember me?
Oh, I remember you. -wink-
It was not so long ago.
You BROKE my heart in two!
Deers on my pillow!
A pain in my heart!

 

Warrick, I want you and Nick to question the widow. Have Catherine get to the elephant tent.
Sara and Greg should drive to Bixley to get the follow up results. Then Brass and his men will head for the station.
No can do, Chief.
We all came in one car.

 

Hi cousin Bill. How are you?
Well, since last time I talked to you, I blew my fingers off with a firecracker.
Oh man. I was half hoping you would have grown up a bit more by now. My god man, you are 51 years old!
Half hoping?
Yeh. The other half wishes I was there to see that...COOL MAN!

 

Okay Clown, your new job will be to jump into the toilet bowl, swish around, and then slide down the pipe.
Are you shittin' me?
Okay. That's not what really happened, but it seemed like it:
Okay Mr. Smith, your new job requires you to be on call 24 hours a day. You will need to convince as many friends as you can to invest in our product . You get 11K a year!
Are you shittin' me?

 

I've gotta question! I've gotta question! I've gotta question! I've gotta question! I've gotta question! I've gotta question!
I've gotta question! I've gotta question! I've gotta question! I've gotta question! I've gotta question! I've gotta question!
Yes?
ummm...I forgot.

 

I've gotta question! I've gotta question! I've gotta question! I've gotta question! I've gotta question! I've gotta question!
Yes?
Do you have Spider-Girl?
Yes.
I've gotta 'nother question! I've gotta 'nother question! I've gotta 'nother question! I've gotta 'nother question!
Please...indulge me.

 

I've gotta question! I've gotta question! How many Spider-Girls do you have? Where are they? Can I read one? Do you think she's stronger than Spider-Man?
The bathroom is across the mall, next to the Orange Julius.
Okay...THANKS!
Wow...how did you know he needed to go to the bathroom? Because of the hyperactivity?
Shut up and get the mop.

 

Otis-Burg?
It's a tiny little place, Mr. Luthor.
OTIS-BURG?
A itsy-bitsy lil' place.
Does it have a Super-Cuts?

 

Is that how a warped-brain like yours gets it's kicks, Luthor?
No...not all the time.
I like walking barefoot in the grass, chinese food...oh, and dead baby jokes.

 

Can you read my mind? Do you know what it is that you do to me? I don't know who you are. Just a friend from another star. Here I am, like a kid out of school...
You can fly. You belong in the sky. And I... could belong to each other. If you need a friend... I'm the one to fly to. If you need to be loved... here I am. Read my mind.
Calgon, take me away!

 

Egad! It's The Green Pointy Stick!
Begone, vile villian!
What the...? He just blew up. Without a fight?
No, no...I'm OK. Begone, vile villian!

 

Fear not, citizen! I will save you!
Arrrg...gasp....(kaff kaff)...Death ray...bad...
I am Johnny Feelgood: The Human Placebo!
(kaff kaff) moan...thk god..it's you..
My work here is done.
Thank you....(kaff)..groan

 

Almost finished. All we need to do is remove the placebo.
Doctor?A "placebo" is an inactive pill with no therapeutic value other than fooling a patient's mind.
?
Don't you mean "placenta?"
I don't see what PEANUTS have to do with anything!

 

Fear not, citizen! It is I, Johnny Feelgood: The Human Placebo!
But I thought you were Ret-Con-Man? I sure don't feel good about this...
Fear not, citizen! It is I, Johnny Feelgood: The Human Placebo!
Thank God you are here, Johnny!
Powers...starting to fade...
But I still dont feel good about this.

 

Merv, I want to buy a vowel! No! No, wait, I want to solve the puzzle!
Joe? This is Jeopardy.
So..does this mean I'm not meeting Deney Terrio?

 

Welcome to Barker King
I'd like a Quarter-Pounder with cheese. Large Coke.
Welcome to Barker King
And a side order of something dead to roll in, please.
Welcome to Barker King
Im sorry. We are out of road kill. How about if I just sniff your butt?
Okay...but Super-Size me!

 
Sure, it was fun....right up to the point where he hit the screen door. And that, my children, is the saga of Dil, the runaway blue sperm.
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 

Good news, Mrs. Brick. The tests are positive.
What do you mean?
You "have one in the oven."
Ohhhh!
That's the last time you eat cookie dough in bed!
Well, YOU'RE the one who smeared it all over my dick!

 

Lex.
Wayne.
ehem!
What?
You said that hair tonic you invented would keep my hair looking youthful for years!
What are you talking about? You're ALMOST gorgeous!

 

Dear Lex Luthor: BIG FAN! I really admire your work. However, I do have one question. - H. Clinton
How the hell can you surround yourself with idiots like that one guy in the movie...OTIS?
Ha ha! Can you imagine all the energy he uses just to move those little feet?
OTIS! Get my tea. Get me the newspaper. Push that cement block off that overpass. Kick that child in the groin.
Right away Mr. Loothor!
I wouldn't trade him for a pack of cigarettes.
Damn my Co-Dependency.

 

YOU! So you finally came home!
I built you from a kit. I provided you with all the opportunities a mad scientist father could give a killer robot son! And you deserted me!
You had everything! Spacious lab. All the kittens you could eat. I even made you to fit fifty different diabolical attatchments!
But Tobor only need one!

 

Wadda ya got?
Nuttin'!
Are you gonna board my ship and take it over?
Who, me??
Is it a cutlass? When you wave it, everyone on your ship is gonna attack, huh?
Frigate about it.

 

Ladies and gentelmen of the press, it is my privlage to introduce to you, The Green Pointy Stick.
Thank you. I have gathered you here today to announce my candidacy for Mayor of the city.
Mr. Green Pointy Stick! Is it true you suffer from a condition of spontaniously blowing up? Effectivly dieing on a regular basis?
The news of my multiple deaths are greatly exagerated from time to time.
Do you feel that spontaniously blowing up can effect your Mayorial duties?
First of all....

 

It is true that I, The Green Pointy Stick, suffer from spontaniously blowing up at random intervals. But I do have my condition well undercontrol.
It is interesting to note that former President of the United States, James Buchanan also suffered from a similar condition.
Mr. Green Pointy Stick? Did you just make that up?
No...it's true. Legend has it, President Buchanon would shoot cannon balls from his viranda.

 

Mr. Green Pointy Stick? What about the allegations that your junior sidekick is a drug addict?
What? My Lil' buddy... a junkie?
Didn't his name give you any clue of his addictions?
POTSY? How could you?
First of all...my name is Anson Williams. And I am NOBODY'S sidekick!

 

POTSY! Where did you learn to do drugs?? WHERE?
FROM YOU! Green Pointy Stick!
From you!

 

0011011001110110!
I am Dinah and this is my sister Lucious Fantasia. Together we are... BLACK BINARY!
WOW! Potsy, hands off...she's mine!
Which one? The one that's talking funny?
No. The stripper.

 

010100!
That is right. Together we can creat a sonic distruption. Capable of great distruction.
SCREEEEEeeeeeEEEeeeeEEEeeEECH!
100111000101010!
100111000101010!
"You've got mail!"
However, no matter what that bitch on the phone says...we will not "think about it for ANOTHER 30 days!"

 

SCREEEEEeeeeeEEEeeeeEEEeeEECH!
110010101001101!
110010101001101!
There are 10 types of people.
WOW! That was incredible! Black Binary, will you marry me?
Those who understand Black Binary...and those who don't.
Hubba hubba!

 

011000110010101?
-sigh- Yes. I will call again .
Hello, Superpowers on Line? I would like to cancel my super powers. I've decided to try something different.
Yes Mam. However, what if we hold off and I give you TWO more months at 75% off regular price? AND I'll toss in a free screen saver!
...so in sixty days, if we are STILL not satisfied, THEN we can try something different.
Darn. I was anxious to start dating INVISIBLE twins. It would of been .. um..educational.

 

A day off at last!
...so I was talking on the phone with some bitch from the Book Store, and ...
-ehem- I work at THAT Book Store!
...um...
No, not you. I'm sure it was some other bitch.

 

Excuse me, do you have Paris Hilton's "Herpes" yet?
Uh, no, sorry. I didn't even know she was writing another book.
Book?

 

Lex Luthor! So we meet again!
Egad! It's the Green Pointy Stick!
Your evil plans will soon be thwarted!
So...I hear you're getting married.
Yea...I was hoping I could get you to cater?
Well...I'll have to move a nuclear holocaust thingee...but I could whip up some capers 'n cheese for you.

 

Hey, Hal? It's me. I wanted to tell you the good news.
Green Pointy Stick? Is that you? Long time no hear, buddy!
Haha..yea. Well, I wanted to let you know that I am going to marry Black Binary.
THE TWINS? You are gonna marry two hot super heroines?
Well..yea. I was looking for a Best -Man, and I....
BEST MAN? Hahah! Sounds like you are!

 

Green Pointy Stick! I got here as soon as I could. You haven't changed a bit. How are ya?
Hal! So, how've ya been?
Mostly dead...off and on, don't ya know.
Didn't you go crazy for a little while?
Well, YOU are the one getting married.
Touché !

 

I was That Crazy Guy for awhile, then That Dead Guy. But I decided to go back to my original super hero name.
Hmmm?
Look! It's the "Sooper-Zero" that almost destroyed the world.
Hey Loooozer!
SAME TO YOU! IDIOTS!
Ahhhh.... Look out world, it's The Green Finger

 

Hal? Are you ready to go? The bachelor party will start anytime now!
You know I HAVE to recharge once every twenty four hours!
Okay. It just sounds like you're watching TV.
Here I sit-the remote does linger, as I laugh at puns and zingers, from Henry Blake to Maxwell Klinger, I loves me MASH...So says The Green Finger!
'Frank Burns eats worms.'

Showing page 17.

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