All comics by BobRogers

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by BobRogers
2-27-07
What about the investment you've made here? 227 cartoons counting this one, in just "Life With Bob" alone. Can you walk away from all that?
Sigh
It's a thought. You have lot of creative energy and time tied up in tooning. It's very nearly a lifestyle.
That's the whole point of it. People see me only as some wheelchair gimp, cartooning a pitiful life away. They don't see "me."
Remember what happens when those guys get personal information?
Yeah, they rip you into shredded doggieburger and recycle the undigested mass as "art." Good point.

 

by BobRogers
2-27-07
Listen. Introspection is a wonderful thing. It clears the air and the thought processes.
True...
But realistically, how many people do you think have read this entire series, 223 to 228? We lost Dave at the word, "lethargic..."
And the Canadian only reads the strip to heckle it. Who does that leave?
I can offer sympathy. But I'm God. It's my job to keep things going through thick and thin. That's why I helped Sam invent Wal-Mart.

 

by BobRogers
2-27-07
Ahhh, wheelchair and clouds. Must be time to get back to reality.
You can't wallow in self-pity forever. You will lose what audience you have left. See you, Bob. I will be watching.
Dude, wher've you been? People have been looking for you.
I've just been undergoing a bit of introspection, that's all.
Stupid sperm whales falling out of the sky. Is there no relief from cheap slapstick?

 

by BobRogers
2-27-07
Later that same day...
So how'd your pep talk with Bob go?
We ironed out a few wrinkles. I'm going to suggest to his doctor that he start on 1500MG of Bupropion once a day for depression.
The falling sperm whale was definitely overkill, you know.
I know. But much needed comic relief nonetheless.

 

by BobRogers
3-02-07
I've given up completely on that forum. There's no intelligent life left there.
I honestly don't know why you've been expecting anything different. It's a message board dedicated to Howard Stern that never mentions his name.
Yeah. You're right. What was I thinking? The average IQ is 47, the average mental age is 13 and the average social standing is "loser."
May I remind you that YOU spent all last year there?
Yes you may, but it will likely get your ass kicked for you.

 

by BobRogers
3-02-07
I take it that your decision is made?
Yep. #235 will be the last strip in the series.
That's going to be a lot of unemployed characters. Too bad.
Not really. No one is reading them. That means they do not exist.

 

by BobRogers
3-02-07
Dave is happy about the news of the end of the series...
I win.
After 4 years of seeing myself in these stupid cartoons, stupid Bob or whatever he calls himself is giving up. I win.
...until the lights go out.
This sucks.

 

by BobRogers
3-02-07
Let's see. Locked all the doors, put the cat out, returned all the scenery and characters to the cache...
Deleted the link to Stern Shrine, cursed the Canadian one last time...That should do it.
I turned out the lights for you. Here are the keys to the world.
Take care of yourself kid. Let me know if you need anything.

 

by BobRogers
3-02-07
Epilogue...
Jump for DUCK?
Jump for Duck?
Fini.
Stupid sperm whales.

 

by BobRogers
3-03-07
This sucks. The whole strip is closed down and nobody told me about it. I'm downwind of a squashed duck. And worst of all, I'm stuck on janitor duty ceaning up whale sh*t in the dark.

 

by BobRogers
3-05-07
Well, that's the last of the whale blubber cleaned up. I'm going to talk to my union rep about this. This is WAY outside my job description.
We only got 5 strips' notice that he was shutting down the series and on top of all that someone dropped a sperm whale on an empty stage and squashed the duck.
Why don't you go on back over to the character cache and get some chow. I'll go and have a chat with management.
It's a good thing I can see in the dark. This place is a labyrinth

 

by BobRogers
3-05-07
So in conclusion, the Characters' Union Local 138 is fining you $240 for early series shut down and $100 for a janitor fee.
Janitor fee?
Our union is tough but fair.

 

by BobRogers
3-07-07
In the character cache, at day's end...
There's something inherantly calming about sitting here in the darkened character cache with no cares or responsibilities, don't you think?
Without all that tactile stimulation coming from backgrounds and the need to be funny all the time... yeah, it's kinda soothing.
Nuts...
I don't care what anybody says. This comic strip is supposed to be about ME!

 

by BobRogers
3-08-07
Captain America, having recently been murdered by Marvel Comics, makes his way into the Character Cache...
So this is it. After 60 years of defending America around the globe, some stupid writer decides to "off " me.
Where am I?
This is Fictional Character Hell. It's called Limbo. It's where No longer needed cartoon characters go to die.
If they can kill Captain America, what chance do the rest of us have?

 

by BobRogers
3-09-07
I've been meaning to tell that guy "Bob" off ever since he booted me from his gay, now defunct comic strip. Haven't had a chance so far...
I REALLY need a beer.
So why do you want me to kill this Canadian clown? What have you GOT against Canada and her citizens anyhow?
I have nothing against Canada at all. Just that ONE PARTICULAR Canadian. Canada itself is actually pretty cool. Great cross continent train ride...
You do realize, Bob, that you can't kill anyone in the Character Cache. God knows I've tried often enough.
This may not be the best time for a confrontation...

 

by BobRogers
3-11-07
What are you doing?
A giant asteroid is coming to blow up the entire plamet. I'm hiding.
You know, you have a better chance statistically, of buying a winning lottery ticket during a hurricane at a convienence store located in a nudist colony and then being struck by lightning?
Will there be chicks there or is it like a gay nudist colony?
Why do I bother?

 

by BobRogers
3-12-07
I am really pissed right now. Somebody is gonna get HURT, I tell ya!
What seems to be the difficulty Dave?
I went to see that "300" movie yesterday and All the GOOD GUYS died!
That's the way it actually happened in real life, Dave. Didn't you take history in school?
Screw that. I pay my $7 I expect the BAD GUYS to get their asses kicked. It's the American way.
Such is the state of public schools.

 

by BobRogers
3-12-07
Hey Bob, can I talk to you a minute?
Sure. Why Not?
My name is Uziplayer and I was wondering if you could induct me into your comic strip.
Well, that's a little hard to do right now since we are "on location" in the StripCreator Character Cache. We're pretty loaded down with characters.
I understand. Maybe you could just feature me in a couple of easy dialogs, maybe a banter with The Hood or something like that?
I could try you out in a cameo role as someone looking for a gig in the script. Let's see how that pans out.

 

by BobRogers
3-12-07
So, you were over at Central Casting this morning. I see you got the gig. Interesting avatar.
Leggo the video game for a minute and pay attention to me. You're being rude.
In case you've ever wondered what the scythe is for... Now you know.

 

by BobRogers
3-13-07
I heard Bob got a nasty PM Message on the Strip Creator message system today. I wonder what was that all about? Someone went to all the trouble to make an account just to rip him.
What are you telling me for? I was only just written to the strip yesterday. Sounds like something IAC or Dave would do though. They're both mental midgets.
So what WAS it all about, Bob?
Just some booger eater from Stern Shrine acting like a juvenile fool. No big deal.
Don't look at me. I have been keeping a low profile.

 

by BobRogers
3-14-07
You wanted to see me, Bob? Be brief. As God of all known universes, I have a busy schedule.
Uh, yeah. I think I want to start another series. Sitting here in the dark is kinda limiting and I am on a new anti-depressant that should curb mood swings that kill series'.
What about rebuilding Loretta's World? That planet is a paralllel universe to the earth your readers live on. Shouldn't be too complicated to set up. Your Union guy, Tombs, can handle the details.
I was thinking I could just stick with "Limbo" for a while longer and then have Tombs inventory some backgrounds for the new place.
OK. Whatever you want to do is OK with me. I've been having fun over at Muslim Heaven this week. You should see the looks on suicide bombers' faces when they find out they share paradise with Mormons.
Priceless.

 

by BobRogers
3-14-07
Uziplayer ills in for Bob...
I got a delivery for Bob. One background for the new strip. The others are on backorder. Where would you like it?
Just set it up in the next panel. Bob is at the doctor's and won't be back until late.
Tell the truth. That's an improvement isn't it?
Missing the babes though. Dudes talking on a beach is kinda San Francisco, dontcha think?
Ironically...
Last thing I remember was darkness. I wonder if somebody pickled me with GHB again?
At least you're dressed for it. All right! Who's been fantacizing about catholic schoolgirls again!

 

by BobRogers
3-15-07
So how do you like the new Bedroom background that Tombs brought over for you. He said he made it special just for you.
I figured out how to properly thank him. I gave him a 5 pound bag of Columbian Coffee
Whatcha doin?
Playing Scrabble Blast. I cant seem to get my high score past 1165 though. I thought I was pretty good with word games too.
Well, good luck with that. I'm going to see if I can find Nick the Hood. Maybe we can get a poker game going.
I wonger... Do you spell "snigger" with 1 "g" or two? That ought to be good for 40 points.

 

by BobRogers
3-16-07
I am a Canadian.
I am Nick the Hood
You got problems, Bob. Two Stern Shrine Members using the same avatar.
Easy repair to make.
I am Nick The Hood.
I am a Canadian Star Trek Fan. Beam me up Pierre.

 

by BobRogers
3-16-07
As the Canadian beams back up to the Starhip NAFTA, many questions arise...
Did you actually plan this little Science Fiction side trip or have you painted yourself into a storyline corner accidentally?
Well, I try to be spontaneous. And he did seem unhappy about his previous incarnations.
I've seen REPTILE aliens, Blue wise-ass aliens, and green sexually irresistible aliens. This is the first time I ever met a carniverous seemingly edible breakfast meat alien.
Rowwwwwrrrrr

 

by BobRogers
3-16-07
What's your status, Captain Pierre? Have you claimed the planet in the name of Canada yet?
Please don't make me beam down... Please don't make me beam down.
Negative, Science Officer Bond. I have encountered a strange Bacon-like creature on the planet's surface.
Rowrrrr
Please tell me that this episode won't be entitled "The Canadian Baconman Encounter."
I wonder how many degrees of seperation the creature would be from Kevin Bacon?

 

by BobRogers
3-18-07
Alright Bacon Creature, I will fight you... What? Why are you crying? Aliens don't CRY! It's in the LEXICON for Harper's sake
Uh oh. The creature has run away. This does not bode well. Usually when the alien runs away, a really bad-ass alien takes its place.
Eek.
I'm Nick The Hood, Emperor of The Bacon Planet, High Priest To the Great but seldom seen Kevin. What's all this crap about FIGHTING?

 

by BobRogers
3-19-07
Meanwhile, back in Limbo...
I hate snow. You KNOW I hate snow. And yet, here I am standing in 20 feet of SNOW! 27 backgrounds and settings and you gotta pick SNOW!
Calm down, Dave. You are going to pop a vessel. Do you know where your puddin spoon is?
Jeeze, I told you. Now look at the mess you made.
So right after I mentioned "puddin spoon," he exploded. Just vaporized. I don't understand it.
OK. I'll write it up as an accident this time, but remember. Don't mention puddin spoons to Dave. It makes him blow.

 

by BobRogers
3-22-07
Dave wigs out..
I am NOT a Pedo!
Tobor not care.
I am NOT a Pedo!
Tobor not EVEN care.
I am NOT a Pedo!
Tobor cornhole Dave now! Rawrrrrrrrrrr

 

by BobRogers
3-25-07
I am conflicted.
What seems to be the dilemma?
I had been posting my cartoon series' on http://howardshrine.net/ viewforum.php?f=32 and things were going pretty good. But then the members there started going insane with racism and flame wars...
so?
I quit the Stern Shrine Forum in disgust at the bigotry and hatred, but now the toons have no audience.
I get it. If a comedian pratfalls in an empty forest, does anyone laugh? It's an old philosophical McGuffin.

 

by BobRogers
3-25-07
It was weird. All of a sudden, everything was "nigger" this and "nigger" that and and I couldn't get my friend David out of my head.
He's black?
Nah. He's a gay Jewish Democrat newspaper columnist.
Wow. That's a lethal mix.
I know. He's hated by Palistinians, skinheads, and TV anchorpersons everywhere.
Nobody ever said life would be easy.

 

by BobRogers
3-25-07
Bigots. Pah! I hate bigots. All bigots should be rounded up and shot.
An hour and a half later...
Did I just fall asleep in the middle of a point?
Wicked sawing logs, dude.
Um. Ok. Where was I?
Killing all bigots. Letting God sort them out.

 

by BobRogers
3-25-07
On an aside, man, don't you think a pointed philisophical discussion should have a background?
Dude. Cheap sight gag that totally no one will get.
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bulls##t, I always say.

 

by BobRogers
3-25-07
That brings me back to my original comment. Since I am not posting these on the Stern Shrine, nobody is reading them, which in turn means they're irrelevant, no matter if whether brilliant or sucking.
I believe that is what Star Trek calls a "Kobayashi Maru," A no-win scenario.
Note to readers (if there are any). Google "kobayashi maru."
Star Trek Metaphors are the penultimate in literary laziness.
Say what you will, but Star Trek influenced an entire generation. Probably the last good thing TV ever did.
That's the first time anybody ever "beamed out" on me in the middle of a discussion.
Star Trek influences all aspects of life as we know it...

 

by BobRogers
3-28-07
Mike H. What brings you out on a sunny Boston day?
I just got back from a business trip. I was in Seattle and ... Hey, wait a minute. Since when is this place Boston?
"Limbo" is interchangable with any other place in reality. Look behind me. Desert Island.
Reiterating. What brings you out ...
Got a post card from Dave that said "wish you were here." So here I am.

 

by BobRogers
3-30-07
As my Union Rep, you are in charge of grievances, right?
That would be true.
Well, there's a rumor going around that i am only pretending to be eviland that I am really nice. It's hurting my reputation. Can you do something?
I'll take it up with management right away. Thanks for bringing this crisis to my attention.
I will chop you up to make CAT FOOD!
Wha'd I do?

 

by BobRogers
3-31-07
See Nick. See Pussy.
???
See Pussy Run. Run Pussy Run!
Watch out for the truck... never mind.

 

by BobRogers
4-02-07
Jeeze, Dave. How could you get yourself banned from Stern Shrine permanantly? You have to have a complete psychotic breakdown to get tossed forever from so liberal a place
Doc ^%#^%#@# Mike H #%$@##!@#*&# NIGFERS #@$#@%$@
You picked a fight with the guy who owns the place?
Bob Thorney ^%#^%#@# UZPLAYER #%$@##!@#*&# NIGFERS #@$#@%$@BANNED
Dave. I tried to be your friend. But truthfully, you are a dumass, even by dumass standards.
^%#^%#@# H #%$@##!@#*&# #@$#@%$@ EVERYBODY IS A NIGFER!

 

by BobRogers
4-02-07
Nick catches Bob on the Golf Course...
Sorry to interrupt your golf game, but I have an important issue to resolve.
I wasn't playing. The wheelchair makes a good caddy cart. I make $50 an hour hauling clubs and beer.
I've been thinking that I should have my own comic strip. "The Adventures of Nick The Hood."
Hmmm. It's true that you're a good supporting character, Nick, but can you make it on your own, without Dave or IHeart as foils?
Sure I can, watch this. "George Bush." See, 50,000 people just laughed out loud.
I admit that is impressive. I'll look into it. I have to get back to my golfer now. Coming Mr. Trump ...

 

by BobRogers
4-02-07
Nick The Hood has a philosophical side...
Has anybody besides me noticed that indiginous people's villiages all look pretty much the same?
I mean, Somali, Biafra, Indonesia, Phillipines - just trees and mud huts and ...
See what I mean? Sooner or later, they all look the same.

 

by BobRogers
4-03-07
Mike H contemplates The Meaning Of Life without Dave ...
Dave is gone, committed Shrine Suicide, the Coroner said in a press release yesterday.
I was on a roll too. Why, Dave, WHY did you post personal information when you knew it would kill you forever>
He left a note ... "This place is full of nigfers. I am going to a better place with more friendly nigfers. I can't post swastikas anymore. This place sux."
I was on a roll too. Why, Dave, WHY did you post personal information when you knew it would kill you forever?
Aggggg. Dave! I will miss calling you a pedo and having you threaten to kill me. I must end it all! Parting is such sweet sorrow..
Dude. Seriously. Get over yourself.

 

by BobRogers
4-03-07
Jumping for DUCK?
Ah JEEZE. This guy ... Hold up. Something's different.
Jump for DUCK has acquired new articulation and vocabulary.
Was that before or after Dave bashed you on the head with a 10 pound 3-D Plastic Swastika
Jump for DUCK takes the 5th and would take a LITER if offered
I am doomed to suffer the slings and arrows of punditry.

 

by BobRogers
4-05-07
Man, am I wasted.
I am so wasted, I miss Dave.
Crap. I am more wasted than I am I think.
A Nigfer With A funny suit. Yummy. Lunch.

 

by BobRogers
4-05-07
Out beyond the 18th green at the Limbo Golf Course...
What are you doing way out here?
Watching grass grow.
What? Watching GRASS grow? Why would you be doing that?
It's my new talent. I'm practicing to be on American Idol.
What makes you think you can score American Idol by watching grass grow?
It's working for Sanjaya.

 

by BobRogers
4-06-07
Here I am, reporting for cartoon duty.
OK. Who are you and why are you drawn in momochrome?
My screen name is Car Insurance PQ15YP.
That's just weird. So WHY are you drawn in monochrome?
To draw attention away from the fact that my name is Car Insurance PQ15YP
The fact that I find that logical is very scary.

 

by BobRogers
4-06-07
There aren't enough characters in my new cartoon strip. No one for me to interact with, means no comedy, which in turn means cancellation.
Get away from me, you hare-lipped, bald headed orange dress wearing chinese redneck! Do you WANT to die in horrible agony?
Crap. A simple "yes, please" would have done just as well.
Protest...

 

by BobRogers
4-07-07
Apocalypse...
That's the last time I EVER suggest free Tequila at a chili cook-off.

 

by BobRogers
4-08-07
Nick the Hood is well equipped with the latest Motorola Razer complete with custom ringtones...
Cell phone's ringing
Hello... Beelzebub? Hey man, what's happening? Keeping cool? Meet you for a chat? Sure. I'm on my way now.
Glad you could come, Nick. I have a problem. Hell is filling up with Canadians, Lawyers. and Insurance salesmen. We need new blood.
How about pedophile Priests, Truck Drivers and people who make fun of cripples. I could reap some of them.
That's the spirit. Grab a few Chiropractors while you're at it would you?
Can do. Know one now. Be back soon.

 

by BobRogers
4-09-07
Nick The Hood - Man on a Mission...
Allah sent me to collect your soul and take you to paradise where 40 virgins are waiting for you in breathless anticipation of your awesomeness.
Allah AKBAR! I knew if I planned enough attacks on infidels I would be rewarded! Let's go!
Volvo Tractor Trailer rigs are popular in Iraq.
You asshole! You lied to me. This is HELL!
It gets worse. All the women here are Canadian, and as you well know, there are NO virgins in Canada!

 

by BobRogers
4-09-07
Dude, you look really depressed. Whatup?
Johnny Hart died today.
Ahh man! That "Mouth of the South" Guy from Pro Wrestling in the 1980's? I liked him.
No. The cartoon guy, creator of the "BC" comic strip and co-author of "The Wizard of ID."
I stand corrected.
He was 76 yeas old and died at his drawing table working on a strip. He was my hero.

Showing page 18.

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