All comics by Makin_d_bacon

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-10-17
You Catholics got quite a racket goin here!
Whatever do you mean, Rabbi?
Don't you feel in the least bit uneasy for "guilting" people into coming here to get your forgiveness?
I'm not surprised YOU would say that. I suppose you'd like to confess now, right?
No way!
I should have known...because you're a member of the very race of people who tried to kill God but FAILED!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-11-17
As IRMA began to slow.....
Our reporter, Tobor, is on the scene in Naples, Florida.
"Wipe the fuckin lens off, moron!"
You're LIVE "on air" Tobor. Can you be a bit less colorful in your reporting?
"What the fuck, ass-wipe!?"
You want the jerk offs at home to watch, right? This storm ain't shit so if you cunts want drama...I'll give ya drama!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-11-17
We are so glad you've finally arrived to lead us, Father!
But why? I was told you've already had another Monk leading this village for months!
Well...uh...yes we have. In a way, but...
Yo Padre! You my replacement?
Do I smell poo & bananas?

 

Is it REAL?
Yup! "18" finally!
by Makin_d_bacon, 9-11-17

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-12-17
At a stripcreator.com convention....
Now for a short tutorial on how to make sure your comic reaches the "Top Rated Comics" List!
The MOST important requirement is to...to...
To what?
...NOT be ragu4u or makin_d_bacon!
Who in there right mind would ever want THAT, anyway?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-12-17
Sing, damn you...SING!
Uh....Camptown ladies sing that song, do dah, do dah...
Keep going!
Camptown racetrack five miles long all da do dah day! Going to run all night...
OK, OK STOP! You sing like HELL, boy! Go grab a lantern and stand on the front lawn and don't you dare move!
Does I GOTS ta wear dat damn jockey outfit too, boss?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-13-17
Ain't it great being "white"?
As opposed to what?
You know...black, brown, yellow, red...
Damn! That'S EVERYBODY! We ARE actually BETTER than everybody!
They call themselves "White Supremacists"!
So then what are WE? Chopped liver? Nuke em!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-14-17
Chen...why so glum?
I'm anticipating the 3rd Panel!
Oh, you mean the one where you ALWAYS get your ass kicked? Don't worry! Just stay in a room by yourself!
Yeah! Why didn't I think of that?!
...but even while ALONE.....
How is this possible? *oof, ouch*

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-14-17
Hi folks! We're waiting here to listen to "IZ" sing "Over the Rainbow"!
Isn't he that fat assed Hawaiian dude?
It's not politcally correct to call someone that name, little boy!
Little BOY? I'll have you know I'm a 30 yr. old Tranny Dwarf, butt munch!
Then, the host turned & whispered...
Jesus Christ...sometimes I just hate this job!
I heard that. You can't talk to HER like that!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-15-17
Today in St. Louis, Missouri...
The Judge is about to render his verdict in that case where a white cop shot a black guy!
But cops shoot guys all the time defending themselves.
Are you talking about the cop defending himself or the black guy?
Shit! Now you've went and confused me! Just go ask my union Rep.
So who is right here? The white union cop or the black guy?
As his duly appointed Union Rep I must refrain from comment till my goomba Phil...oops...Judge Phillips renders a verdict!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-15-17
YOU again? What have you done THIS time?
Nothin...honest!
Well your Physics Teacher, Miss Phreaky, doesn't send people to me who have done "NOTHING"!
Oh... so it was her, huh?
Earlier.......
OK class let's go outside to the trampoline where I will demonstrate how to...
With THEM bodacious jugs it's gotta be milkshakes, right guys?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-16-17
Wow! The cop got off! Those neegs will be causin trouble NOW!
They've already got the Poplar Street Bridge over the Mississippi blocked keeping people from getting into St. Louis!
Who in their right mind would ever want to come to St. Louis, anyway?
But Mayor Krewson, all I said was....
Pipe down you, "Tourism Assassin" or you'll be on the next boat back home to Borneo!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-16-17
Don't worry. It just happens to men sometimes!
Not to ME it doesn't!
You could always pleasure me the OTHER way!
What can a guy do without a nice hard cock?
What say we try it "Timex" style?
Oh yeah! That's where you "take a good licken, without gettin no dicken", right?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-17-17
Protestors cause another night of vandalism in St. Louis....
I wonder if d_bacon has heard about any of this?
Where the hell is that little pork chop?
City Jail...St. Louis, Mo.
No justice, no PEAS...No justice, no PEAS....
Ya can always tell when the upscale "County" types join the protests

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-18-17
Note: No Black Characters used...
Hi Ho, Hi Ho...
...it's off to the Lou we go!
We're raging punks...
...who tear up junk...
Hi ho...
Hi Ho, Hi Ho, Hi Ho...

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-18-17
Pres. Trump...Elton John was on the line for you.
He probably wanted to thank me for making that "Rocket Man" comment!
I think NOT, Sir!
Why?
Because he just banned you from all of his concerts...forever!
Sensitive little finooch, ain't he?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-18-17
St. Louis, City Jail...
You can't keep me in here!
Ya think not?
Yeah! It was just a simple typo on a sign.
I don't know...
Really!
So your saying that your, "Black Lives Splatter" sign was an accident? I'm not buyin it!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-19-17
Inside the "Badda Bing"...
Look here, you ain't gonna be able to earn in THIS joint wit a body like dat!
But, Mr. Dante, I've taken classical ballet for 5 years!
Dats the problem. Plus you got no junk in the go-gootz & ya couldn't stand up a straw between dem tiny boobettes!
So the sign outside, "Dancers Wanted" doesn't really mean dancers?
Later that day....
So Furio, did Paulie reword dat sign?
Yeah, Sil...but you sure you OK wit "Cocksuckers Wanted"?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-20-17
Recently, South of the border....
Did I just feel a tremor?
Aye carumba...run for your lives... these buildings are collapsing!
Then the buildings were heard to say...
Si...we carumbled! So what, you hijo de puta?
Lousy bastardos!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-20-17
Inside Chez ragu/de_bacon...
You DO realize we missed it yesterday. It was "Talk Like a Pirate Day"!
Big friggin deal! You can just blow me.....
That's all you got to say? Just "Blow me"?
Ok, ok! Blow me.....uh.....down matey!
Now, THAT's the spirit!
He takes "creepy" to a whole new level!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-21-17
How about that grade school kid getting tapped to play in the NBA?
That 6ft. 7in. eighth grader?
How can a kid that young grow so big?
What? He's 28!
I guess Grade School is harder than I thought.
It ain't THAT. Fact is, in the ghetto, most 2nd graders are old enough to drink!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-22-17
You make me so horny!
What a shame for YOU! I'm not a lesbian.
Neither am I. I'm a tranny with 10 inches of hot, throbbing schlong!
You can just forget THAT. I'm not spreading my legs for the likes of you!
Then how bout those butt cheeks?
Listen doll, if Phreaky won't put out, give ME a ring. Sounds right up my poop chute!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-22-17
Phreaky stars in "The Sound of Music"
"The hills are alive with sound of music..."
at an Elite Fundraiser in D.C., but sadly
"...with songs they have sung for a thousand years. The hills fill my heart..."
...her song was rudely "Trumped"....
"..with..."
"Her hills fill my pants with a huge-ish BONER. Like the one I will stick up Kim Jong Un's Fatish ASS!"

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-22-17
You don't wanna eat me...I'm awfully tough!
If yous was tough ya wouldn't be down here!
Touche'!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-23-17
Early Morning on Game Day...
Let's take a knee during the National Anthem!
Right on, Bro!
Game Time...
So, we're gonna play anyway, right?
Damn right! On the field, men for the National Anthem!!
Just Before Kickoff...
But Coach...we took a knee so the fans here would know how we feel!
You SEE any fans, STUPID?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-23-17
Please don't kill me, kind sir!
Silly, that thought NEVER even crossed my mind!
My family will be so pleased and forever grateful for your kindness. Goddbye, kind sir!
Ya know...
...come to think about it... BAM...right in the heart!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-24-17
Punkin, mother said you got 2 words tattooed on your arm. So what's with the flag?
It's my "Penance" from confession, daddy!
You mean to tell me Father Pete MADE you get it?
Yeah...He told me I should have it put OVER the top of those 2 words.
But a Confederate Flag? It's so racist! What were the words?
"Nympho Cocksucker!" I can have it redone if you want?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-25-17
We'd like ya to sing for the Christmas Play, Jimmy!
What should I sing?
Sing something upbeat...contemporary!
I know just the thing. I'll need some props.
What song did Jimmy sing?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-25-17
Chen: Costume Salesperson....
Perfect fit, ma'am! You'll be the most horrible witch at the Halloween party!
Shall I wring it up for you?
So what went wrong?
She had just come in to use the rest room!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-26-17
One for "Brokeback Mountain"!
One for "Brokeback Mountain"!
So you want a refund, sir?
Darn tootin! This film is full of fags! I thought it was gonna be about bronco busters who needed back surgery.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-26-17
Why "Fight Club" never got started!
I'm Tyler Durden & if you wanna be the first member of this club, there are rules...
...and the first rule is "You never talk about Fff.. ffi...ffii...fff....
C'mon, spit it out dude!
Scew it! I can't tell ya. I'll start with rule two...
Then wouldn't that actually make it rule one? What is this...MENSA?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-27-17
Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird.
It's a plane!
It's...it's...
...a Super Fag!
I'll bet George Reeves never got this kinda grief!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-28-17
*knock, knock*
You got money?
Uh...how much if we role play while we do it?
It'll be an extra $100 if you use... "toys"!
Moments later....
I promise to be gentle...
"THAT" toy is gonna cost ya an extra $200, fella!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-29-17
So what's the problem Russ?
My son wants to quit being an Altar Boy!
That's odd. He's only trained for one day!
He said the Cassocks & Surplices itch!
The day before....
Are you SURE I'm supposed to be naked under these duds, Father?
Absolutely! I am, as well. You'll find it comes in handy later. So...wanna take a "leap-frog" break?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-30-17
Hey d_bacon...have you got ANY idea what this "Miller12" guy's comics mean?
Actually, they're pretty cryptic. I been wanting to ask you what they mean!
I know who knows what they all mean! "Arbi"!
Arbi? Really?
That would be like asking Norm Crosby for "proper word usage"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-30-17
Could it be that we're just STUPID?
Keep your "Pork-Opines" to yourself!
I went and hit a nerve, didn't I?
Actually, most of the time, I"M the smartest guy in the room!
Your ego makes me sick. I'm outta here!
FINE! That'll just prove my point!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-30-17
Onboard a floating casino....
I'll help that card-shark disembark like you asked, boss!
And make sure he doesn't get back on!
That's never happened before and never will!
I must admit, you do, somehow, keep these cheaters from returning!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-01-17
Looky here d_bacon! Monty Hall died!
You'll hear no tears from ME for that no-good, rotten thief!
Decades earlier......in L.A.
A game show, huh? I'll run it passed Monty Hall. What would you call it?
I'm thinking..."Let's Make a Squeal"...but hey, I'm flexable!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-02-17
Mandalay Bay Hotel, 10/01/17 4pm
It's true, officer! I just saw a guy point a rifle out that window?
Yeah, yeah, yeah...it's 110 degrees in the shade today. You're hallucinating!
I don't know. I thought I was lookin right at him until your dialogue bubble got in the way.
This just in....carnage was averted today when a gunman at the Mandalay Bay Hotel in Vegas was kept from shooting...
...the concert crowd below with automatic gunfire, as his bullets were blocked by a letter filled "bubble" near the 32nd floor!

 

Look where all that "Free Fallin" got ya!
by Makin_d_bacon, 10-03-17

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-03-17
Welcome to "Guns & Guitars"! May I help you, Mr. Paddock?
I need more ammo for those 29 assault rifles you sold me.
So 200,000 rounds wasn't enough? You're quite the "can plinker", aren't ya Steve?
Plus I need a case of grenades and a couple rocket launchers too.
Hot diggity dog! I may close up early today!
Oh...and some night vision goggles & a full suit of body armor for those pesky little ricochets!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-04-17
Fit's ya like a glove. What ya huntin?
Kangaroo poachers!
Awesome! Where at?
From the top floor of Caesar's Palace!
Are you going for the record?
Not just yet. I'm in training!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-04-17
"Just like fish in a freakin barrel"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-05-17
Sorry Romeo, but I gotta put you down!
Fine! Put me down for one box of Thin Mints and 2 boxes of DoSiDo's!
Uh....I don't think you quite understand! You attacked your keeper and liked to kill him so I gotta...
Oh THAT? The a-hole was trying to get into my girlfriend's diaper.
And you feel he deserved to die for that?
Putting diapers on Chimps is just wrong, dude!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-05-17
So you sold Stephen Paddock all that weaponry?
Yes. So what?
He killed 59 people and wounded hundreds of others.
How was I to know his intentions?
C'mon! Over 50 long guns and thousands of rounds of ammo and you don't get the least bit suspicious?
Why should I? It's a pretty standard kind of sale around the 4th of July.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-05-17
...this kind of thing can happen!
My head is killin me doc! Why?
Not to worry. It'll take a while to heal. That brain tumor was huge!
But wasn't you lookin for kidney stones?
Oh shit! Not again? Think...think!
Well?
Kidney stones....yes, YES! I found them alright...hiding inside your...uh... brain tumor!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-06-17
You must be the new applicant! Let me take your coat & I'll show ya around.
No, I'll keep it on a while! I may be leaving in a rush.
Your cubicle would be right over here. Any questions so far?
Just one! Have you had any workplace shootings here?
No way! That''ll never happen HERE!
NEVER say "never"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-06-17
A 1946 Nightmare in progress.....
They call me "The Sandman"! I just tip-toed in here to sprinkle a little stardust!
So, do I gotta go to bed? I'm scared!
Go to sleep! Everything is alright, kid!
Why are your pajamas the same color as jelly beans, clown?
Listen Roy, you get to bed or I'll be in your nightmares forever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah...maybe if I write down these dumb dreams I can use em later!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-07-17
...or NOT!
Call me Neo!
Instead of Keanu?
No Keanu..Neo!
So Neo's new now?
No! Keanu is the new Neo!
So you do know now what Neo & Keanu knew? Keanu knew the new now was never known by Neo!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-08-17
Yeah...that's right! It's us!
We're here to ask you a question!
Where is everybody on this god-forsaken site?
Has everyone abandoned ship?
ragu4u and I have decided to stay till the bitter end!
Hold on there, d_bacon! I have been known to change my mind at times!

Showing page 19.

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