All comics by Artymus

Profile

 

by Artymus
4-05-07
What's the funniest thing you've ever done?
I recorded the beeps for blind people at a crossing, then played it when cars were coming.
That doesn't sound that funny man...
I guess you had to be there.

 

The Original Snub
You picked Mike over me in dodgeball, wtf man... I'm a friggin Ninja
by Artymus, 4-05-07

 

by Artymus
4-05-07
Who the hell took my Cinnabon?... My name was clearly labeled!
Yea I took his Cinnabon, illiterate fuck labeled it "PIERAT"

 

by Artymus
4-05-07
Honey... I'm pregnant.
Do I know you?
I'm your gf... we've been together for three years.
Look you crazy bitch, I don't know you. Get the fuck away from me.
What? Don't walk away from me.
works every time

 

he kid of small... two bucks
by Artymus, 5-24-07

 

by Artymus
5-24-07
...and when i came home my mom hit my dad with a frying pan...
...my dad yelled "you cunt fuckin whore, i should of married one eyed carol, she let me skull fuck her"....
...so i just put on some Taking Back Sunday and started to cut myself....
I have to be more specific when I pray for nuts

 

by Artymus
5-24-07
...then sarah called and was all like, i think we should see other people...
...and then i pointed out that we see diferent people like all the time...
...so i just put on some Taking Back Sunday and chugged a bottle hydrocodone...
you're still here?

 

by Artymus
5-24-07
you can talk?
no you're on lsd
a squirrel with bad jokes, thats so depressing
depress your mouth on my dick emo kid

 

by Artymus
2-05-08
Uh General, shouldn't we use guns or swords or somethin
NO, that's what those yankee scum are expecting!
That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard
Put you're gun down soldier! I told you we're going all flags to throw them off.

 

by Artymus
2-05-08
So you're saying that by thinking happy thoughts, you can fly?
Yeah, I saw it in a movie.
Holy Shit this is awesome!
I told you! Aslong as we're happy we can fly!
What do we do when our Happy Rock runs out?
Come down easy on Pot.

 

Star Trek #2739029183759029387592: Attack of the HGH enduced Bacon
by Artymus, 2-22-08

 

PC Loadletter, What the fuck does that mean!
by Artymus, 2-22-08

 

I can't believe you voted for Hillary!
by Artymus, 2-22-08

 

by Artymus
7-26-09
got any pot?
no
got any pot?
no
got any pot?

 

AAAAHHHHH
by Artymus, 7-26-09

 

by Artymus
7-28-09
Scare without predjudice! Scare without hate!
I'm gonna kill Mike for telling me to meet him here.

 

by Artymus
12-06-09
woah

 

by Artymus
12-06-09
Hello...
Hey Sarah, have you filed that report yet?
NOOOOO!
...?

 

Can you help me get out of here?
Why sure I can little girl, want some candy?
by Artymus, 12-06-09

 

by Artymus
5-27-10
What are you doing!?
Putting up fliers.
But you're nailing it in to your head!
Dude, it's The JUNE BOOM, we're going all out.
Will there be tits?
Tits o' plenty, now I'm gonna pass out from the blood loss, wake me up on June 26th

 

suck my dick bitch
ahhhh
by Artymus, 6-30-11

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