All comics by Battleganz2

 

by Battleganz2
3-19-05
What the fuck is this asshole doing?
Disarm the Dynamite!
Sorry. I'm a medic.

 

by Battleganz2
3-19-05
You follow me. I'll get us through.
I have temperament and strategy.
I'm strong in those areas. Tha- That's probably why you like me so much.

 

by Battleganz2
3-19-05
Did you hear about Brian, he just bought himself a porche.
That's nice
Say, you wouldn't happen to have his grandmother's phone number, would you?

 

by Battleganz2
3-19-05
SO, am i invited to the funeral?
...
No. You're too fat.
Let's not repeat the mistakes of our forefathers.

 

by Battleganz2
3-22-05
Listen buddy I do not feel sorry for you.
What's the matter with you anyway?
Look asshole. I'm cold and I'm naked. I don't need your lectures.
Just jump into the shark tank and fish it out!

 

by Battleganz2
3-22-05
Hey mom, open the door. I need you to make me dinner
Look . I'm cold and I'm naked. I don't need your lectures.
Oooowwiieee!! Momma's gettin' a spankin' tonight!

 

by Battleganz2
3-24-05
This fall on FOX..
Corporate Ass-Grabbers!

 

by Battleganz2
5-10-05
What are you going to buy
I'm not here to shop
It's the DaDa in me

 

by Battleganz2
5-10-05
Today is Friday. I missed the darn sale.
What are you whining about? There's always low prices here.
How the hell do they do it?

 

by Battleganz2
5-10-05
Wonna work for my animation company Don Turkey?
Sure. I'll give you my resume on wednesday.
Don Turkey. I already know you. Come in on monday.

 

by Battleganz2
5-10-05
Have you ever thought of working in the animation industry?
Listen buddy. I've got my own problems.
Ok ok. I promise we won't use you as one of the characters.

 

by Battleganz2
5-10-05
Have you ever use Flash MX?
I use it occasionally. I trace many images and try to animate them.
I bet it would be less frustrating if you were part of something bigger.

 

by Battleganz2
6-21-05
Damnit! I'm on my period this week and I just ran out of those Metallic tampons. I'm Screwed!
Here you go babe, I just made a fresh batch.
Thanks Bill.

 

by Battleganz2
8-26-05
Oh my god. It's the big one, the Atom Bomb!
I love you man. You can't tell a joke, but I loove that cute thing you do with your nose!

 

by Battleganz2
8-26-05
We well continue our correspondes through nono-communications.
Your code-name will be Professor Pink Puss and My-
Woud you like a peanut?

 

by Battleganz2
8-26-05
"Take me to the movies"
Teke mie to de mauvaes
?
"Treat me nice"
Shuddle maine bubbles
?
Listen here turkey

 

by Battleganz2
8-29-05
You can kiss my ass you fucking bastard!
And the rest of you Shitheads too!
As for Jesus, he can much on his own God Damn Breadsticks!

 

by Battleganz2
8-29-05
Oh no, I don't date black men anymore.
All they wonna be is thugs, basketball-players and rappers
Makes perfect fucking sense to me.

 

by Battleganz2
9-09-05
We now go to Lincoln Park in Chicago to talk about those violent blacks in NO.
I don't understand what's wrong with these feral blacks. If I woke up one morning lying in 80 years worth of BOILING SHIT AND PISS I'd calmly get dressed and go shopping at Macy's
Continue shopping Americans. There's nothing to see here. When will those liberals learn?

 

by Battleganz2
9-09-05
National guard units are tasked with arresting all looters and criminals.
First, they will have to wade throught the bodies of those who starved and drowned.
In other news, Astronaughts successfully carried out the first arrest of a black man on Jupiter!

 

by Battleganz2
9-09-05
Yesterday we brought you the story of the first successful arrest of a Black man on Jupiter
Look at that smug bastard
We are now witnessing the use of a special "Space taser" given to astronauts for just such an incident. .

 

by Battleganz2
9-10-05
Hey! What did I just tell you a minute ago you stupid Asshole!
The first rule of the Thunderdome is you DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE THUNDERDOME!

 

by Battleganz2
9-12-05

 

by Battleganz2
9-12-05
What's cookin' Jack?

 

by Battleganz2
9-29-05
Angst: Constipation of the Brain
Hey buddy, wonna see my 'Angsty' face?
Sure, let's see it.
Are you sure, because it's kind of, well..

 

by Battleganz2
9-29-05
Excuse me sir. Would you like to have your name engraved in stone?
Sure, that sounds kinda neat. What's the catch?
I'm gonna have to stab you.

 

by Battleganz2
10-08-05
Ok now, how are we going to work this?
You whip it out, and I'll fire it up.

 

by Battleganz2
10-08-05
Ok now, how are we going to work this?
You whip it out, and I'll fire it up.

 

by Battleganz2
10-10-05
Ok now, how are we going to work this?
You whip it out, and I'll fire it up.

 

by Battleganz2
10-10-05
Look at him. Sitting out there at the bus stop. I bet he has somewhere insteresting to go.
But no, McMicheal Farkner is stuck here for eight hours slingin' slop sudz. It's not fair.
That's right, get out of my life! And don't come back!!! Hooich--P-TOooiee!!

 

by Battleganz2
10-10-05
2004 Season: Head Coach Lovie Dovie speaks with General Manager Jerry Angelique
Jerry. That rookie, Rex Grosshabits just injured his leg on that last play.
He's out for the season. I need you to go out and draft us a REAL veteran quarterback for next season.
Will do buddy. You can count on me.
The 2005 season begins
It's our first pre-season game. Where the hell is my quarterback!
Oh, you're really going to dig this cat. His name is Rex Grosshabits. He came with a free leg brace.

 

by Battleganz2
10-10-05
Did you sleep with my daughter last night?!?!?!
I-Uh-N-No
Do you supple her firm, young breasts?!?!?!
Oh, now I get it Jack. It's revearse psychology!!

 

You expect me to buy food from you when you have that big wad of spit hanging off of your beard?
by Battleganz2, 10-10-05

 

by Battleganz2
10-10-05
Alright soldiers. We're going to burn this city, steal their gold chains, and rape everything in sight!
Alright soldiers. We're going to burn this city, steal their Ambercrombie collection, and rape everything in sight!
One week later.
Wait a second, WTF?
THIS IS MY COUNTRY!!!
I'm going to hate carpooling on monday.
Uhh- sorry Grandma

 

by Battleganz2
11-08-05
What are you doing stupid?
If I'm so stupid, does it really matter what I'm doing?

 

by Battleganz2
11-08-05
Yeah dude show us ur ass!
Wait a second! Who the hell said that?
Yeah dude it's me! Why do you think I gave you such a good deal on this condo?

 

by Battleganz2
11-08-05
I can't believe I just got locked out of the house.
Squeak!
Batsy, fly back to the teleporter and bring me my utility bag.
Sqeak! Man-Purse! Squeak!

 

by Battleganz2
11-08-05
Excuse me sir. Sir?
Hey! I'm the one with the knife! Either look at me when I speak or I'll cut ur balls off!
Ok, you asked for it buddy.

 

by Battleganz2
11-08-05
Hey, I'm on E-bay. Do you need anything.
Well. Maybe I should look into getting a new fence for the the hourse range.
It says here:"Brand new horse fence. Must assemble yourself. We send you trees."

 

by Battleganz2
11-22-05
Well, I'd like to thank the people of your country for listening to me Bullshit for 6 hours straight.
Excuse me Mr. President. Could I ask you a question about your wife's Menstral cycles?
No you may not douchebag. Bye now.
Oh my god. Who the fuck locked this door?!?!

 

I will now appoint Mr. Skeleton Key to the Supreme Court.
by Battleganz2, 11-23-05

 

?!?!
Yes, I would like to speak with your manager.
by Battleganz2, 12-19-05

 

by Battleganz2
12-19-05
Before we die
I just wonna say
you have a very small weiner.

 

by Battleganz2
12-19-05
I can't wait for my big date tonight.
I wonder why she hasn't called.
She's probably still a little bit huffy because I made her split the bill at dinner.
We're the only two that survived.

 

Damn this bitch is ugly.
by Battleganz2, 12-20-05

 

by Battleganz2
2-15-06
Listen man. I'm not some stupid country bumpkin. I'm a fucking legal professional. I PASSED the BAR exam you know.
There is no fucking way you're going to get away with this, and you're not getting my firm involved in this mess.
Just listen to reason. Don't be foolish. You'll be able to buy another summer house, or that Yacht that you were so interested in.
What the fuck are you going to do asshole, shoot me?

 

by Battleganz2
2-16-06
What are you-
Point that Fucking gun down you Fucking Fat Fuck!!
What are you going to do about it? I run this fucking country! I have them eating out of the palm of my hand!
There's no way anybody is going to believe that this was an accident.

 

by Battleganz2
2-16-06
Newspaper boss Richard Donn's private office in Venezuela
Bill. Maybe- Just Maybe- you should consider holding off on this story until tomorrow.
Listen DICK I'm not waiting for shit. I'm printing this story tonight.
Give the guy a break. He's under a lot of pressure.
You listen to me very carefully. I'm printing my fucking story. If you try to stop me in any way I will smear you and this second-rate newspaper beyond recovery.
I'm printing my article tonight and you're not going to do a fucking thing to stop me. Fuck off now, I have work to do.

 

by Battleganz2
2-22-06
The president claims that he had no knowledge of the port sale.
He says that the decision was made by his administration, not him.
What the fuck do you think we elected you for, you stupid fucking bastard! You're shitting on the can while America is falling to the gutter!

 

by Battleganz2
7-18-06
You're a no-talent hack.
...
Fuck you!

Showing page 2.

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