All comics by Bottlerockett

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by Bottlerockett
2-22-01
Big Evil Dan (2/23?)
Hey, it's my birthday, anything for the man here?
You are absolved. And say hey to Laetitia Casta for me when you see her later!
bottlerockett's (2/22 for reals)
Hey, it was my birthday yesterday, can I have some absolution?
Hmm... No. You ruined your chances with all that pr0n. And all that cancer.
That's what you get for trying to horn in. Bitch.
*sob*

 

by Bottlerockett
2-23-01
So. Can you count chads?
Yup.
So, you CAN count Chads?
I said "yup".
Count chads? So can you!
WTF?

 

by Bottlerockett
2-24-01
*click click* *click*
Wassup.
Just lookin' at some Kelly Brook pics.
Get your hand outta your pants, please.

 

by Bottlerockett
2-24-01
As the robot X-51 approached earth, he could think only of his programming...
Closer...
Soon, the people of Earth would learn that they were IN FACT being spied upon by beings from another world...
Ever closer...
And that these beings liked what they saw.
Now where was "hot naked lady"'s window again?

 

by Bottlerockett
2-25-01
The GHOST OF CHRISTMAS POST-APOCALYTIC FUTURE visits John Romero.
In the FUTURE(!!!), we give each other SKIN(!!!!) for Christmas!!!
Holy shit. Maybe I, John Romero, should be more selective about who I lay off in the future!
The next morning...
Hey, gimpy little kid! Didn't I fire your old man for making bad colored-lighting choices in my game, Daikatana?!?
Yes, you did, John Romero! You are the devil and I hope you get haunted every Christmas!
Well, as a matter of fact, it's already started! I was gonna give you some money to go buy some turkey and shit, but fuck off!
I hate you, John Romero!

 

by Bottlerockett
2-28-01
Off ta th' Whitehouse! Jess rustlin' up a few strays!
Wish you were here! These here Democrats cain't git that dern'd look off'n their mugs!
Why did I ever donate to that chump?
Because you thought, "Oh this'll be better than 'Blazing Saddles'!"

 

by Bottlerockett
3-05-01
Will you go out with me, Diane?
I don't date guys who wear tupees, Sam. And besides, that would ruin our sexual tension and lose the show ratings.
Will you go out with me, Rebecca?
I don't date guys that wear hair-pieces, Sam. Wait.. aren't I a money grubbing slut? Oh that's right, you don't have any money...
Will you go out with me, Carla?
I don't date guys what wear rugs, Sam. And besides, ain't I married or somthin'?

 

by Bottlerockett
3-05-01
We're here with gabe_billings, famed author of more than 600 Lowpass strips!
Hey, bottlerockett, it's great to be here!
So our readers are wondering where you get all the free time to create such great strips, and at such GREAT quantity..?
If I told you I'd have to kill you.
Hahah. But seriously...
OK, straight onto the killin's!

 

by Bottlerockett
3-05-01
*The Siiiimmmpsooonnsss*
Well, duh, Lees!
Meh.
Ha!
Ma-aarge!
And the viewers all made the most important decision of their lives...
-Click!-
~Aaahhhh....~

 

by Bottlerockett
3-11-01
Rap cap nap! I'm Smooth Money B, and I talk much smack!
If you step to me I'm gonna pull the trigga and leave you layin' there like Tupac my n--
You betta' check yo'self befo' I wreck yo'self, and if you finish that rhyme yo' ass be mine!
Shit..!

 

by Bottlerockett
3-17-01
*walk walk walk*
*click click* *click*
Hmm.. What's this? Bejeweled?
http://zone.msn.com/bejeweled/default.asp
Can't pull hands from interface...!

 

by Bottlerockett
3-22-01
Creativity;
I missed a contest; Hey! It's me, bottlerockett!; What did I miss, yo?
Popular culture; reflected in comic strip; None were safe from it.
The lack thereof makes for poor;
Oh. well O.K. then; "All your base are belong to-"; Wait, that doesn't fit.
Winds on high plains blow; Ripples in the sea of grass; All for great justice.
Comic strip entries.
What you say? It's you!; I have no chance to survive; I must make my time!
Pebbles crush beneath; walking along the river; Launch every zig.

 

by Bottlerockett
3-24-01
The plan has been prrogrrammed into EVERRY one of my thousand rrobots!
No longerr shall I rreach forr the starrs; only to have my drreams be demolished!
I will DESTRROY John Stamos, and Rrebecca Rromijn will be mine!

 

by Bottlerockett
3-26-01
Alice approaches the looking glass with caution..
Why is it called a "looking glas" anyway? Why not just "mirror"??
Oh shit! mirror demons!
What the...
Step through! Pleasures unbound!
And on the other side...
Okay, I start at $50 and go up from there. No checks. Now put this schoolgirl dress on for me.
Cheap Japanese mirror monsters!

 

by Bottlerockett
3-29-01
Now just beat the egg whites and add some curry powder. COCK!
Now when you apply the heating, always remember to caress the pads gently. SHASTA MCNASTY!
My Acura just ain't cuttin' it anymore. INTEGRA!
And some for my homies. SCHLITZ!
It's all in the mix.. RODE HARD AND PUT UP WET!
All I wanna do is zooma zoom zoom and a boom boom! MANRAPE!

 

by Bottlerockett
3-31-01
Still in the aliens firm grasp..
Okay, now that we've made the grand tour...
Oh! I totally forgot about the anal probe! Oh no!
Please remove all garm-
*sfx- zzzip* I'm ready for my buttshot, Mister Demille!
Will
Uhhh. I thought you humans were supposed to be afraid of us..?
Well your all over the boob-tube, and I think you've even infiltrated Congress. What should I be afraid of??

 

by Bottlerockett
1-10-02
What the... Is that Bottlerockett?
Yeah. I'm back.
Didn't we band together and run you out of here?
What seems to be the problem here?
Uhh.. Well, I was just passing through, and I thought I'd put up a strip...
OK, cavity search time.

 

by Bottlerockett
1-10-02
Hentai Pimp.
Alright, now I know this is your first day on the job so don't get too fazed out when a "John" approaches you.
Okee doke.
Now remember; make him wear a jimmy cap, always collect the dues, if he gets rough, I'll be outside.
Ok, Ok, be cool, this guy looks interested in you.
Duhn duhn duuuhhnnnnnn...

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