All comics by Ciaran

 

Ryan on Tour by Ciaran 10-13-03
Ryan makes a good start to his live show. Hello folks.	Not an unacceptable introduction. My name is Ryan.	Failure it is then. So it is.

 

Ryan on the road. by Ciaran 10-13-03
		Fuckin bike!

 

Finding Neo (starring Hannah the mystic) by Ciaran 10-20-03
My search for Neo may be long...	but I will swim like a fish and...	Oh, hello.

 

Ashes to ashes. by Ciaran 11-04-03
Ashes to ashes.	Dust to dust.	Either way, your fucked.

 

And for my next trick, I will be... baked bean! by Ciaran 11-05-03
My volunteer from the audience will now put a lighter to my clothes.	Go on, don't be afraid.	Haha, you hath been baked!

 

And for my next trick, I will be... broad bean! by Ciaran 11-05-03
Mr pumpkin, I am going to eat you. ?	I think I am mutating.	Oh dear, aren't I broad.

 

For my next trick, I am going to be... green bean! by Ciaran 11-05-03
I am going to concentrate my mind and see if I can turn green.	Oh flip, small but a little greener.	Green but a little too 'not human'.

 

And for my next trick, I will be... french bean! by Ciaran 11-05-03
Hey man, my name's bean. I want to be a french bean. Oh dear, I see a problem there.	Please, please, I'll do anthing. Anything?	Am I me, or am I you? Je ne sais pas.

 

And for my next trick, I will be... runner bean! by Ciaran 11-05-03
Oh Greek olympic champion, can you teach me to run. Mr bean, you do not have the right physique.	But I will train like Rocky. Eye of the tiger and all that. You must be prepared to run like a wild animal.	Look, look watch me go! Can someone please explain to him what a simile is?

 

And for my next trick, I will be... has bean! by Ciaran 11-05-03
Hey, I'm bean, as a renowned has been, can you give me any tips. Tips! Who are you, the waiter or something?	No, I'm just bean. I've just been as well. Look, just let your worries drift away.	Oh dear, now you got me worried.

 

And for my next trick, I will be... coffee bean! by Ciaran 11-05-03
Mr Wilson, as a connoisseur of coffee, can you help me become a coffee bean? If you get your hair cut, maybe.	I said cut.	I'm feeling rather hyper right now. I hereby declare you a bean of coffee.

 

And for my next trick, I will be... kidney bean! by Ciaran 11-05-03
Hey small girl person, can you help me become a kidney bean.	AHHHH!	I said I wanted to be a kidney bean, I didn't ask you to kick me in the kidneys. Oh, didn't you?

 

And for my next trick I will be... bean bag! by Ciaran 11-05-03
I am going to try and turn myself into a bean bag.	Well lets not be too optimistic, just a bag. (although that defies the whole 'bean' series thing)	Look, down there, can you see me, I'm in his hand.

 

Stealth disco encounters a small problem. by Ciaran 11-12-03
Hey beans, I feel like doing some stealth disco. Let's get Ryan.	I'll dance behind, you take the picture. Ready when you are.	It's not going to work Adam. You're too small. We can't see you back there.

 

an evening at the chestnut inn by Ciaran 4-13-04
can I have a pint?	got any ID?	can I have a packet of bacon fries?

 

Vick house happenings #1 by Ciaran 12-20-04
Matthew, have you not heard the latest? No Aoife, why, has antoin not flushed the toilet again?	No, even worse... irish unification	My jumper has gone orange in the wash! 'The final solution!'

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