All comics by CrustyPussyBlood

 

Why the hell did I agree to baby-sit this kid? I don't know anything about children.
WAH! WAAAAHHHH!
How do I calm a crying infant? Hmm...I got it!
WAH! WAAAHHH!! WAAAAHHHH!!!
Hehehe!

 

Ya betta have mah money, ho!
by CrustyPussyBlood, 5-18-08

 

Let's go out back and pack for the madcap quack attack.
I like packing snacks and stacking tacks. My friend Jack likes shooting smack.
My cousin Zack smokes lots of crack.
My friend Mac rides a yak.
Would you like to suck my sack?
Your sack is black. I do not like to suck black sack. Looks like you'll just have to whack.

 
I farted.

 

Look into my freaky eyes.
I'd rather anally rape you.
Want to watch Pokemon?
I'd rather anally rape you.
Want to anally rape me?
You're trying to throw me off.

 

This thing must be broken. It's telling me I'm about to get fuck up the ass.
by CrustyPussyBlood, 5-18-08

 

I'm an alien. Blig brob blork.
What's that thing jetting out the top of your head?
It's my penis. Blig brob blork.
You have an eyeball in your penis?
Yes. Blig brob blork.

 

My vagina has two sets of lips! But I don't get monthly blood drips! My vagina hardly even used!
My vagina's got lots of extra skin! They took my outtie and made it an in!
Turned Donnie into Marie Osmond!

 

Ooo...a hitchhiker!
Aaaaarrrrrggghh!!!
Skyyyy rockets in flight! Afternoon delight!
Driving is fun!

 

This is how we dance!
When we're in our underpants!
by CrustyPussyBlood, 5-19-08

 

*Grunt grunt grunt*
*Pant pant pant*
Mmm...yeah...
Ooohhh...
I GONNA CUM!!!
AAAAARRRRHHH!!!

 

I was reading about dopplegangers on the internet.
Supposedly if you see somebody who looks exactly like you, it means you're going to die.
I have a strange feeling I shouldn't turn my head.

 
Have you ever loved somebody so much, you could spend hours watching them sleep?

 

Hahaha!!! Hey Lisa! Check this out!
Two girls! One cup!
That's disgusting and you're a depraved freak!
Let's see...two girls...one cup...I hope nobody walks in on me. I don't want them to know I'm a lesbian with a scat fetish.

 
When you said you'd never leave me...
Did you mean that?
Yeah...see...I was really drunk last night...

 

LOL! OMG! ROTFLMAO!
That's great. Have fun never getting laid.
WTF?

 

Why? *Sniff sniff*
It's been almost eighteen years dude. Get over it.
WHYYYYYYY?!
I'm outta here dude.
WHY DID THEY CANCEL MR.BELVEDERE?!!!

 

I'm so goth, I shit bats.
by CrustyPussyBlood, 5-21-08

 

My grundal is itchy.
by CrustyPussyBlood, 5-21-08

 

AHHHH!!! THEY'RE ALL TRYING TO GRAB MY TITS!!!
by CrustyPussyBlood, 5-22-08

 

Merry Christmas!
Holy fucking shit.
by CrustyPussyBlood, 5-22-08

 

I was gonna clean my room until I got high...
I was gonna go to class before I got high...
I was gonna go to work but then I got high...
I was gonna get high, but I was too busy making comics on my computer that nobody will read.

 

I'm going now. Stay out of the cookies in the cabinet.
I want a cookie!
Don't touch the cookies.
What if I do?
If you touch the cookies, your dick will fall off.
What if I touch my dick?

 

Der da doh grah flah.
What the fuck was that? Check out my cunt-shaped mouth.
Duuuuh...grah wah nah.
Shut up faggot. My mouth looks like a cunt, and your mouth sounds like an ass.
GRAAAAAAHHH!!!
They call me Cunt Mouth.

 

 

Ooohhh...he's going to put it in his mouth!
Shut up!
Ooohhh...he's goint to do it! Suck it! Suck it!

 

What the fuck am I supposed to be?
You look like an inverted asshole, faggot.
That's not very-
Shut up and look at my cunt-shaped mouth.
Gaze upon it's cuntliness

 

Hey bird. Turn around faggot!
I said look at me, douche bag!
Stare in amazement at the cuntosity that is my mouth.

 

Welcome to the fucking circus! La da da! Here's a clown!
Now here's a dog on a ball!
Now here's a guy with a cunt for a mouth!
Hey faggots! Look at my cunt-shaped mouth.

 

The government has been using bad music to put people's minds to sleep for decades!
That explains Led Zepplin, Van Halen, Kiss, Journey, Styx, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Limp Biscuit, Corn, Winger, Motley Crue, Toby Keif, Hannah Montanna, Fleetwood Mac, Debbie Gibson, New Kids On The Block...
Backstreet Boys, The Eagles, Yes, Nickleback, N'Sync, Guns And Roses, R Kelly, The Beastie Boys, Staind, Britney Spears, Christina Agularia, Fifty Cents, Hillary Duff, Ashley Simpson, April Lavine...
Celine Dion, M&M, Barbra Striessand, GWAR, Jennifer Lopez, Cannibal Corpse, The Rolling Stones, Stone Temple Pilots, Jessica Simpson, Aerosmith, Bing Crosby and others who come from the same mold.

 

Let's see...Paypal!
"Safe and secure..."
I have no problem giving them my credit card info(despite the many horror stories I've heard). After all, I know it's safe and secure because they say so on thier site!

 

Hi buddy!
Holy shit, my splooge is alive.
by CrustyPussyBlood, 5-28-08

 

Hey faggot! Look at my cunt-shaped mouth.
Look into my freaky eyes.
Hey faggot! Look at my cunt-shaped mouth.
Would you like to see my cunt-shaped cunt?
Hey faggot! Look at my cunt-shaped mouth.
Hehe hmmm...

 

Wanna hear a joke?
Not really.
Why is anal sex better than vaginal?
I give.
Because it's tighter, warmer and degrading to women!
You don't have to tell me!

 

I'm Cunt Mouth. Look at my cunt-shaped mouth.
You listening faggot? I said, look at my cunt-shaped mouth!
My mouth looks like a sideways cunt.
Bleg?

 

Hey faggot! Aren't you that racist cop guy from TV?
I AM THE DOG! THE BIG BAD DOG!
Shut up and look at my cunt shaped mouth.
I AM THE DOG! THE BIG BAD DOG!
PUSSY FART POWERS ACTIVATE!

 

I waxed my bikini line last night.
I waxed my bikini line once.
It looked like a runway at night.

 

Hey kid...want some drugs?
No thanks. I'd rather just fiddle with my balls.
i've got like every drug you could possibly want.
I really have to piss.
Are you sure you don't want any drugs?
I don't do drugs! I do hugs!

 

Well...
That was awkward.
by CrustyPussyBlood, 6-05-08

 

Mmm...farts.
by CrustyPussyBlood, 6-05-08

 

Hey faggot! Look at my-whoa!
I think I'm your long lost twin brother, faggot.
Look at my cunt-shaped mouth.
Look at MY cunt-shaped mouth.
I can't believe this faggot's my brother.
Fucking faggot.

 

Wanna thumb wrestle?
Shut up faggot! Look at my cunt-shaped mouth.
Uh...Cunt Mouth?
That guy's a fucking faggot.
Wha-
Shut up faggot! I'm his long lost brother, Snapper Puss.

 

Your cunt STINKS!
by CrustyPussyBlood, 6-07-08

 

So...which one are you?
I'm Cunt Mouth, faggot.
What happened to your brother?
I don't have a fucking brother, you shit-stained cum wad.
I thought-
Shut up faggot! Look at my cunt-shaped mouth.

 

Would you like to eat some green shit?
Shut up faggot! Look at my cunt-shaped mouth.
Are you sure you don't want to eat any green shit?
I want a table for one, faggot.
I think you should eat some green shit.
This restaurant fucking blows.

 

Can I ask you something?
I guess so, faggot.
Is your mouth an actual talking vagina, or is it a regular mouth that just happens to strongly resemble a sideways vagina?
Uh...
Shut up faggot!

 

Do you remember your fist blowjob?
Yeah.
What did it taste like?!
It was just a joke, man.
I don't think we can be friends anymore.

 

Did you ever blow bubbles when you were a kid?
Yeah?
He wants you to know he's back in town!
Really?
I should give him a call.

 

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana?!
Sir, that is offensive to my people!

 

You have to most beautiful face I've ever seen.
I brought you some flowers my sweet little rose.
Will you marry me?
Dude...that's gay.

Showing page 2.

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