All comics by DeNile

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by DeNile
7-13-07
So what did you call me in here for?
I'd like you to go check and see if the people in the copy room are okay.
Oh, no. I aint goin' in there, fool. That wretched machine already ruined my life enough.
Well, let's just say there's a bonus if you come back with a status report.
He's lucky I don't make that much money.

 

by DeNile
7-13-07
later...
Oh, snap. I guess I lost another one. Time to call in the proffesionals.
You called 1-800-Professionalpirates. How may I help you?
Um, I need your help with an investigation.
Arg. An investigation ye say?
Yeah. I think my copy machine ate most of my workers.

 

by DeNile
7-13-07
Ye think that yar copy machine has come to life and eats yar own crew? Arg.
Yeah. I was hoping you'd go and check out the situation.
Arg. Me eyepatch switched eyes, it did.
Arg. Here I come ye hungry menace of eatifying! ARG!

 

by DeNile
7-13-07
Later...
Oh, poopy. Even the proffesionals aren't good enough. Looks like I'm going to have to go in myself.
My career is at stake. Along with my life.
Well, here I go! I hope that there is some weird catch that will save my life!

 

by DeNile
7-13-07
Hello?
Doesn't look like the copy machine ate anyone. I wonder where every-
Oh, god.

 

by DeNile
7-13-07
Hello. I'm Mr. Mail Man. And you have new mail.
It's breaking news.
It says, GET DOWN AND GIVE ME THE MONEY!

 

by DeNile
7-13-07
Oh. Sorry about last time. But I really do have some news for you.
It says that the exciting, epic, and entirely entertaining final two comics of "FUN with and F" are coming out soon. Number sixteen comes out on Thursday and Number seventeen comes out on Friday.
Now, DROP THE TURTLES AND NOBODY GETS HURT!

 

by DeNile
7-14-07
Hello all. As you probably know, I'm a Mr. Mail Man. Hence the name of the comic.
The doctor called me today and asked me to come in. He said he had something to tell me.
I'll bet it's my HIV test results. I don't know what I'm going to do if they come out positive. I'll probably just quit my job and become a prostitute.

 

by DeNile
7-26-07
HOLY CRAP!
RAAAR!
What did you do with all of my workers?!?!?
What workers?
The workers that came in here wondering what happened to the one before them.
You mean the workers that I ATE?!?!?!?!!?!?

 

by DeNile
7-26-07
Hi. I have some breaking news.
MY HIV TEST RESULTS WERE NOT POSITIVE!
Juat kidding. They were. I just yell that to make myself feel better.

 

by DeNile
7-26-07
Well, I got therapy for my urge to become a prostitute.
I'm going to remain a mailman. I can see that you are excited.
YOU'D BETTER BE EXCITED!

 

by DeNile
7-27-07
So, it wasn't the copy machine at all. I thought that Benjamin had his hand bitten off by it.
Oh the black guy? Yeah it still bit his hand off. Fisty little machine it is. I didn't want to eat him the first time because I thought it was bad enough having his hand ripped off.
So, are you gonna eat me? I mean I understand if you do.
Only if you want me to.
So wait. You gave all of my workers the choice of being eaten and they all took it?
No. They all said that they just wanted to go to the secret copy room office party. They're in the next room. They told me not to let in the guy with the red coffee mug. Go in,I'll keep watch for him.

 

by DeNile
9-07-07
Can you do anything interesting?
Well I am the smartest being in the world. I know EVERYTHING!
REALLY now.
Yes, everything.
So tell me something I don't know.
Okay, I know that the only thing they got in Latin America is bananas.

 

by DeNile
9-13-07
Alright little baby. You don't know everything.
Pshd.
Dude, like where is your mom? Did she just leave you here or something?
You shut up or I'll scare you.
Ha. Ha. HAHAHA. HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Boo.

 

by DeNile
9-14-07
Um... That wasn't scary. The only thing that even came close was you turning into a ghost. And that barely made it.
So like, you weren't scared at all?
No.
The "boo!" didn't even startle you?
No.
Dude this guy is fearless.

 

by DeNile
11-11-07
Ah. The office. A shame that my vacation in the mountains is over.
Well, it seems as though everything is still in order. Except...
My desk was definetly not red before.

 

by DeNile
11-11-07
Wow. I'm glad to be away from that ghost baby thing.
Strange, normally I've met someone new by now.
Oh, there we go.
PRAISE THE LAWD!

 

by DeNile
11-11-07
Okay, let's not yell so loud.
PRAISE THE- oh, sorry.
It's okay, man.
I just get carried away sometimes.
By a truck.

 

by DeNile
11-11-07
The Captain just informed me to send the ship toward that planet.
What planet is that?
Earth, or something like that.
Is that the one with the humans?
Yeah the humans AND the Americans.
Oh, great. They always shoot at us.

 

by DeNile
11-12-07
You know what?
What?
Doesn't the Captain realize that it's going to be pretty challenging to invade Earth when there are only how many robots on the crew?
Four, not including the Captain.
Yeah, we're pretty much gonna get owned. And when did the ship get painted purple? I hate purple!
Yeah purple pretty much sucks.

 

by DeNile
11-12-07
Hey. I'm really getting bored of this place or whatever it is. You wouldn't happen to know the way out would you?
Yes I would.
Seriously?
Yeah, I'll get ya out. For a price.
What price.
I want 276,451 pesos. Which is like 20 bucks and 17 cents.

 

by DeNile
11-12-07
Bro, I don't have 20 bucks and 17 cents.
Okay then. You'll have to go through a series of tests. Just some questions. Riddles.
Ask away.
Okay. So a llama walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
Dude. That's just a joke. And it's a horse.
Okay, jerkface. Read the sign.

 

by DeNile
11-12-07
Do I win yet?
Not quite young challenger.
Well can we speed this up? I REALLY want to leave.
Okay. Next riddle. If I gave you a million dollars, what would you do with it.
I would pay you your 20 dollars and 17 cents to get out of here and then hit Vegas. Now is there a real riddle?
This guy is good, but he'll never get past the last riddle. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

by DeNile
11-12-07
Dude I NEED to get out of here like, NOW!
Okay, okay! Calm down!
Give me the freakin riddle already.
K. So you have a bag of grain, a chicken and a wolf. You have to take them across the river one a time and if you leave the wolf with the chicken, it will eat it, and the chicken will eat the gra-
Sorry I'm answering early, but it's an easy one. You give the wolf and the chicken shots of morphine and then take them over.
HOLY CRAP! THIS GUY IS LIKE FRIGGING PSYCHIC!

 

by DeNile
11-12-07
Hola, once again, faithful viewers.
I am sorry to announce that the amazing "In the Box" comic series only has two strips left until it meets a cold, dark, scary, and sad end. So sad. I think I might cry.
Oh. Oh. There's a tear.

 

by DeNile
11-12-07
Hola, once again, faithful viewers.
I am sorry to announce that the amazing "In the Box" comic series only has two strips left until it meets a cold, dark, scary, and sad end. So sad. I think I might cry.
Oh. Oh. There's a tear.

 

by DeNile
11-13-07
Hi. It's me again. Sorry about the mess up with the last two comics.
If you aren't dumb than you would have reallized that there are two #6's. But you aren't.
...Nope.

 

by DeNile
11-13-07
Wow. It seems like we're going to Earth to meet a sudden death and we aren't doing anything about it.
What's up with that?
I don't know. What should we do?
Mutiny?
That's the perfect idea! You in on this?
Only if I get to be the Captain Barbosa in this and YOU are the guy whose eye keeps fallin out.

 

by DeNile
11-13-07
Why would you compare this to Pirates of the Caribbean?
Makes it seem all epic.
I guess so...
What else do we need to do to make it more like the movie?
We'll leave the Captain on Earth with the Americans. I don't seem him getting out of there alive.
He'll never get a spaceship to get out. They never even made it into space!

 

by DeNile
11-13-07
We'll have to get the rest of the crew to help us.
You mean Zippy and Red?
Are they really all the crew other than us?
Well and Captain SHMYETZorgoniKerthipster.
That's why we just call him Captain.
Your outer armor looks like you have a skirt on. You reallize that right?

 

by DeNile
11-13-07
I guess we should go talk to Zippy and Red now.
I call Red!
Aw, no! I get Red! I don't want the depressed robot that was made from spare parts.
Too late. I called Red. You get Zippy.
Jerk.

 

by DeNile
11-13-07
*Knock-Knock*
Um... Who, uh, is there...?
It's Clyzeborg. I need to talk to you. We're planning a mutiny.
Clyzeborg, ol' buddy! Come on in! A mutiny you say? Sounds risky.
Of course it's risky, you stupid tin can of nails. Uh- I mean,
I was made with screws not nails...

 

by DeNile
11-13-07
Aw, I'm sorry, Zippy.
You didn't have to go that far, Clyzeborg.
I'm really really sorry. But we have to get to the mutiny. Are you in on this?
Well, I guess so... Do I get a special position or something?
Of course! You can be the Leutenant Sarge General 5th class!
That... Sounds... AWESOME!

 

by DeNile
11-13-07
*Knock-Knock*
Who be a-knockity-knock-knockin on Masta Red'z doh, eh?
It's Flob.
Man, who da crap is named Flob? I mean talk 'bout unfortun-ATE. Mahn, who in the up-chucked peetza is dis?
Ugh. Flobobot3.34.99908.45.7523. 71345141415. 213124542.
Oh! FLOB! Mahn, you didn't tell me it was Flob. you gotz to be moh care fulllz!

 

by DeNile
11-13-07
What the heck? My desk was not red! I hate red! Time to blame this on other people! Initiate operation:BlameMyDesk ProblemOnMyWorkers AndCutTheirPay! Op:BMDPOMWACTP!
MIS-TER-Sanderson.
Yes, MIS-TER-Boss?
I have reason to believe that you and a team of jokers or just you alone, painted my desk an AWFUL shade of red while I was on vacation. What do you have to say to that?
Wow. You do remember that you filed a request form for you desk to be painted a scarlet red color say, I don't know... about seven months ago?

 

by DeNile
11-13-07
Yo, homie. You best be watchin' out for two new comic series' by DeNile.
They gon' be sweetz. One is called, "That Darn Farm" the other is called, "27.4 Fathoms Under the Sea". Yeeah.
Pshhhh. I'm outa here.

 

by DeNile
11-13-07
Oh, and a third series will be released dog. It's called, "Alien Space Gangsters"...
I hate my job.

 

by DeNile
11-13-07
Okay, I got it bro. Now get me out.
What's the magic word?
The magic word is take me home or I'll kick you in the crotch so hard that your mother's mother's grandfather's ancestors will cry.
Sheesh. Well, I hope you have fun time wherever you're going. Step in this funky disco vortex.
Finally. Peace and love, freaky world! I'm outta here!

 

by DeNile
11-13-07
Woah! What a crazy dream! Wait a minute... That was all a FREAKIN DREAM? OH, COME ON! WHAT'S THAT ALL ABOUT? THAT IS B. S.! YOU CAN BE A LITTLE MORE ORIGINAL!
OH! OH! YOU WANT ORIGINALITY? I'LL GIVE YOU SOME FREAKIN ORIGINALITY!
The creator really needs to get a life.

 

by DeNile
11-14-07
Jeeze! It only took you like eight YEARS to open the door.
Yeah, well I no want no bad prankasters acomin in my room see? Well what be a cracka-lackin?
We're planning a mutiny.
Yo, a mutiwhaty-what?
We're going to overthrow the Captain.
Ol' Captain S? Where are we athrowin' him now?

 

by DeNile
11-14-07
No, no, no! We aren't throwing him anywhere. We are going to talk over the ship and leave him on Earth with the Americans.
Woah, woah, woahZA! Fool! What is dat Earth thing you is talk' 'bout?
It's a planet that we are headed for. And we are going to lea- Um, Red? Why are you wearing a cape?
You got a problem wit' dis cape yo? I'm jus' a-showin my speerits for the Halloween occasion, wit duh cos-tooms an' duh candey trees.
First of all, Halloween was last month. Second, They are candy TREATS, not TREES. And third, take the cape off!
Brah, I be liiiikin dis cape up here yo! It all fuzzy on mah back, yo!

 

by DeNile
11-14-07
Hey Juicy, was my desk red when I left on vacation?
I believe that you asked for it to be painted red about seven months ago.
Hey Ted, was my desk red when I left on vacation?
I believe you had it specially painted a while ago.
Hey Jimbo, was my desk red when I left on vacation?
Uh, sorry guy. I don't work here, I just use your bathroom to sleep in at night.

 

by DeNile
11-15-07
Okay, Red. Let's forget about the cape. We need your help taking over control of the ship from the Captain.
Well, shiggity shpiggity shpoh! Well, the Captain be my own brother, yo.
Yes, but think about how he's treated you and the rest of the crew!
Wellz, I gess he be bein' kina a jerkface lately.
Kind-of a jerkface? He ripped your arm off and beat you with it once!
AND made me weld it backs on, yo! Iight! He be goin' DOWN, foo!

 

by DeNile
11-24-07
I could have sworn that I hired you! I've even seen you here before!
I've been hanging around here for a while, but you never hired me. And my name is Willy, not Jimbo.
Officer LaBostal! Thank god I found you! Someone painted my desk red when I was on vacation!
Sir, I remembering it being red before you left to go on vacation.
I can assure you that it wasn't red before! I want you to find the culprit ASAP, capisce?
*Sigh* I'll start right away sir.

 

by DeNile
3-07-08
Hello! Guess what?
DeNile is BACK.
Prepare to have your legs vaporated by awesome comics! AGAIN!

 

by DeNile
3-07-08
Did you succesfully recruit Zippy?
Yes. And what about Red?
Affirmative.
Well all that's left is to think of the intricate plan.
Earth. Leave Captain. Leave Earth.
And then... PARTY!

 

by DeNile
3-07-08
The Captain said that we will land on the Earth's surface in 6 minutes.
6 minutes until PARTY TIME!
And 6 minutes until the mutiny.
And 6 minutes until PARTY TIME!
Now it's about 5 minutes until we land.
5 minutes until... PARTY TIME!

 

by DeNile
9-05-08
Oh, is this really happening?
Could it be back again?
IN THE BOX IS BACK AGAIN TO PUNCH YOU IN THE ELBOW!

 

by DeNile
9-05-08
This is strange...
I seem to be in some sort of giant box place.
It shouldn't be that much trouble. I'll just ask someone if they know how to get out!

Showing page 2.

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