FTC #11: Santa ends up at the right place at the wrong time. by DontKnow12-01-03 Oh no... What is it? Santa's been into the Rum again. Uh-oh, let's just hope he can't can't get into the stables this time... *hic* Whaaas goin *hic* on here? *hic* I'd like to be the first to welcome everybody to Alcoholics Anonymous. I am glad to see so many have attended on such a snowy day.
What's for Christmas Dinner? by DontKnow12-01-03 I'm glad that most people don't eat beef for Christmas Dinner. Why do so many people have us turkey's for both Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners? Us rabbits provide excellent meat. However, we are glad that we are so hard to find and expensive. I am worried, I am one of the most popular Christmas dinner items. Time to head further south. I wonder why more squirrels don't end up on the dinner table. I'll take one of each this Christmas.
Always phear a bored geek by DontKnow12-03-03 You know, I had noticed that there wasn't a good page showing all of the characters in an easy to look through manner. Either you're blind and can't read a FAQ, or it doesn't exist. So I created one. You wasted your time doing this? This is kind of a test, since i'm not sure how stripcreator handles a href tags. Yup What a geek!
Bored geeks sometimes end up with failures by DontKnow12-03-03 Well, that test failed. It's a shame. So, why does stripcreator block out a href tags? They also block out p and br tags. Since the "yup" in the last comic wasn't a link like I had intended, here's the link. For those of you who missed it: http://www.dontknow.org/stripcreator.html Of course you have to be a geek to understand anything there, try http://www.dontknow.org/strip.html if you want to cut to the chase.
dot boom by DontKnow12-04-03 I miss the dot-com boom days. All the awesome computers just for me... The beer they bought on Friday afternoons... Having to work after a few beers... Making mistakes as root after a few beers... Why can't I get a job now?
Drunk admin by DontKnow12-04-03 My luser wants me to delete some files. .lib .bin .usr rm -rf /lib /bin /usr As you wish, master admin! Oh shit!
The drunk admin hasn't gone home yet by DontKnow12-04-03 Time for another beer, nobody seems to need my services. Our hero passes out. BEEP! I need this stuff done ASAP! BEEP! Ed, where are you? Man, what a hangover. You have 3123 new work requests.
It's all about security. by DontKnow12-04-03 Hi Jake. Any news on the server outage? Yes, Mr. President. I know what caused the outage. Well, what was it? A hacker. Any idea who? Some inmate at Colorado's SuperMax facility.
Uh-oh? by DontKnow12-04-03 I'll be right back. Gotta go to the drugstore Out of Coke. Out of cold meds. Out of B&J ice cream Three strikes and I'm out Damn! You'd better go!
CC223.1: Chaos is all that can hapen by DontKnow12-04-03 Hello, this is Greg here with my co-anchor ivytheplant. Hi! We have late breaking news that StripCreator has ended. This has apparently caused great chaos around the world. First off, a live picture of Cancun, Mexico. Can snowballs hurt a frozen villain? Brad, you killed my parents with this snow. Prepare to die!
CC223.2: Everything looks bleak by DontKnow12-04-03 Wow! Brad frozen stiff. This could only mean that the world has ended. And now we turn to our last living reporter. Adam is reporting on site in northern Saskatchewan. Hello there. The world destruction is immense. Up here where normally there is just frozen waste land, it is hotter than the Sahara desert.
CC223.3: Definately not where I want to live by DontKnow12-04-03 Adam, do you have any idea how many survivors there are? Early reports indicate that there are fewer than fifty thousand people left world wide. Most of whom are children. However it seems as if the majority of the cats survived.
CC223.4: And there is hope by DontKnow12-04-03 Are there any survivors in your area? Hi, my name is Eve. Could you help me with something? It looks like there is only one other survivor in my area. Since we are the last two people left alive, we should start repopulating the planet as soon as possible. This is Adam signing off and wishing everybody else to have this good of luck!
CC223.5: Back at the studio by DontKnow12-04-03 Now we don't have any reporters left. That's O.K. Your new government doesn't like field reporting. Who is our new government? Ivytopia. This is bad. I want Brad back! I want StripCreator Country back! This is good. Remember who I am? *Maniacal laughter* I own you now!
oh well. It's lame. by DontKnow12-04-03 Kazaa: Total Shared: 4.2PB You know, I'm wondering. Is that PB Crunchy or Creamy?
Frosty the Snowman was a jolly happy soul--before the DMCA by DontKnow12-05-03 And with this magic hat, you'll come alive. Hotdiggity, I'm alive! What's the first thing you want to do, Frosty? Hmmm... Nobody warned me that I'd have to pay royalties for singing about myelf. The RIAA requires it of everybody now.
Everything is because of the beer, the priest's story by DontKnow12-05-03 Father, why did God create the earth? He was drunk. So why doesn't he destroy us? He's tried. Do you remember Noah? He should try again. There are too many bad people in the world. He only tries when there are too many good people.
Everything is because of the beer, Jesus's story by DontKnow12-05-03 Father, why did God create the earth? He was drunk. So why doesn't he destroy us? He did, but then he felt bad about it, so he sent me to apologize. Nobody accepted the apology. Yup. And so now you get to kill yourselves off while God gets drunk and starts over somewhere else.
Welcome to the big 3-0 Graey by DontKnow12-05-03 Hi Graey Hi Happy Birthday! Thank you. How where the presents this year? Nothin like a birthday blowjob from a highschool chick
Gray gets a visit from Officer Friendly by DontKnow12-05-03 HI Graey. I understand you got a bj from a high school girl. Yes officer. But she was 18. You know this because you were present at her birth and watched her grow up this long? Yes. It's been a long wait. You know you waited a year longer than you needed to? !
The officers hears from a lawyer by DontKnow12-05-03 Hello Officer. I represent Colorado's PTA, and we've come to discuss this age of consent belief that you have. Well sir, Colorado Statute C.R.S. 18-3-402(1)(e) indicates that it is a crime if the person is under 17, not under 18. Are you saying that you know the law better than me? Lawyers don't know the law. They just know how to manipulate the court to think they do. And you're not supposed to know the law, just enforce it. How do you expect that to be possible?
The officer's big test by DontKnow12-05-03 Hi, want to have a video-taped three-some with us? We're both 17, and therefore legal. I'm sorry, but since there is a video camera involved, you're too young. I'm anxious to do it with a big cop. OK, no video. Lets go for it!
Jesus Christ taught love and peace, but... by DontKnow12-06-03 So, how do you like America? I love being in this nation! Why? These Christians have no problems with violence, hatred, blood, gore, etc. And yet most want to sweep sex under the table. What does that matter? I'm 10. Girls are yucky!
Snow? They call this a snow storm? by DontKnow12-08-03 And Marsha, what is the local weather? Well, there is a Winter Storm Warning until midnight tonight. Talking to myself. This is bad. All the idiots will be out driving their SUVs thinking that they can drive faster and more aggressive than normal. But I love the snow. Too bad there's only a couple inches on the ground, and only due for a couple more. I want a couple feet of it. Yes guys, just like Gollum does. Its a couple inches too much. It isn't worth it. And besides, you didn't even go out in it today. My precious. Me wants his precious precious snow.