All comics by Dr._Light

 

by Dr._Light
6-17-01
Your mother's a cheap slut.
That's bullshit and you know it. She is not cheap at all.
Well, when you adjust for inflation, she is.

 

by Dr._Light
6-20-01
YOU SUXXORS, I OWZ JOO!!!!!!11
Shut the hell up, you fucking idiot.
You're right, I'm so lame....*sob*choke* My hacker shit makes the human race look bad....I deserve to die....

 

by Dr._Light
6-23-01
That's one kickass peice of paper.

 

by Dr._Light
6-23-01
Hey, did you hear the one about the donkey and the zebra?
Yeah, and it sucked.
Shit, you killed that one...

 

by Dr._Light
6-23-01
Behold....the ZBox!
It costs $562,234, weighs 45.76 tons, and when you press the power button, it kills you instantly.
Huge improvment over the XBox.
Absolutely.

 

by Dr._Light
6-28-01
Oh my God, the world has been destroyed. I am the last man on Earth!
I sure could go for a ham sandwich.

 

by Dr._Light
6-29-01
I am Jesus, I have come from Heaven to call upon thee.
What is it that you ask of me, Oh Lord?
You're parked in the red zone, dumbass.

 

by Dr._Light
6-30-01
Why do you get all the chicks, Robo?
Because I have a MAGNETIC personality, hehe.
Hey, what are you looking at?
This is The Book. That was joke #42.
Hey, at least it's not THE oldest.

 

by Dr._Light
6-30-01
Why do you get all the chicks, Robo?
Because I have a MAGNETIC personality, hehe.
Hey, what are you looking at?
This is The Book. That was joke #42.
Hey, at least it's not THE oldest.

 

by Dr._Light
7-02-01
Oh my God, a giant black monolith.
I don't get it.

 

by Dr._Light
7-04-01
Do you, uh, yahoo?

 

by Dr._Light
7-06-01
I have some horrible, earthshattering news.
The vending machine in the hallway stole my money.
Oh yeah, and you're going to die.

 

by Dr._Light
7-07-01
I've got some good news and some bad news.
What's the bad news?
You're going to die.
Uhhhh....what's the good news?
I don't like you, so for me this is a good thing.

 

by Dr._Light
7-08-01
Oh my God, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?????
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wait a minute, it's just air. Boy, is my face red.

 

by Dr._Light
7-08-01
It is I, the Pimpbot 9000!
It is I, the Pimpbot 10,000!
Aw, shit.

 

by Dr._Light
7-09-01
Welcome to the world's worse comic. Prepare yourself for the ultimate in crappiness, a new plateau for sheer lameness. You won't find a worse comic than this one. I mean, we're talking worse than that
Ever see Ernest Scared Shitless? This comic is approximately 123431419 times worse than that. I mean, we're talking BAD. This comic is so bad, that the king of badness himself, King Bad, saw this comi
....and then the Duchess of Ass came in and said, "Shit. This comic is BAD." And then we were like, yeah, we were going for serious badness with this comic. We wanted to create something that people c
We looked at the other bad comics, and though "What can we do to be worse than these comics? And then it hit us: Go for ultimate crappiness. We put so much crappy effort into creating this comic that
....no other comics can hope to possibly avoid surpassing us!!!! HAHAHAHA!!! We sure showed them. It just goes to show you, when you want lame, play our game. We know crap better than anyone. You can'
Ok, so it isn't the world's WORST comic. If it were the world's WORST comic, then I'd have just left the whole thing blank. But, I didn't want to go THAT far. You know what I mean? So think of this as

 

by Dr._Light
7-09-01
So I told him...THE WAY WITH THE RAG IS A LAY IN THE BAG!
What?

 

by Dr._Light
7-10-01
Oh God.....
You called?
Get the hell out of here, Dr. Light.

 

by Dr._Light
7-10-01
Oh my God, you're gay. You better not come on to me.
Don't worry, I don't find you attractive.
Bullshit....you know you want this fine ass.
You disgust me.
You gay people are all the same...(sob)...what's the matter, I'm not GOOD enough for you?!?!? You pig! (sob)

 

by Dr._Light
7-10-01
Control tower, this is Flight 207! We are having severe weather problems, the visibility is so low we can't see more than 30 feet ahead!
Then move 30 feet forward, asshole.
Bitch.

 

by Dr._Light
7-10-01
MY GOD DR. PEDANTIC, YOU SEEM TO BE A SQUIRREL. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
IT WAS DUE TO A RUPTURE IN THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM CAUSED BY CRABBY WINNING THE CONTEST.
IS THIS COMIC OVER?
YES. THANK GOD.

 

by Dr._Light
7-11-01
Step 1: Press Caps Lock button, then seal it under double-reinforced titanium.
HAHA!! CAPITALIZATION BABY!!!!!!!111
Step 2: Post lots of hacker shit.
390SRD09 402 0SSD05 3D0F!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
Step 3: Go to hell.

 

by Dr._Light
7-11-01
Step 1: Press Caps Lock button, then seal it under double-reinforced titanium.
HAHA!! CAPITALIZATION BABY!!!!!!!111
Step 2: Post lots of hacker shit.
390SRD09 402 0SSD05 3D0F!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
Step 3: Go to hell.

 

by Dr._Light
7-11-01
Step 1: Press Caps Lock button, then seal it under double-reinforced titanium.
HAHA!! CAPITALIZATION BABY!!!!!!!111
Step 2: Post lots of hacker shit.
390SRD09 402 0SSD05 3D0F!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
Step 3: Go to hell.

 

by Dr._Light
7-12-01
WASH AND WASH MILLEINIUM WASH!!!!!
THE WAY WITH THE RAG IS A LAY IN THE BAG!!!!!!!!!
YUP, I WIN. DON'T YOU AGREE DR. PEDANTIC?
PLEASE DON'T HURT ME.

 

by Dr._Light
7-12-01
Hi, I'm the Exploding Dog character!
Um.....
Hi. You know us, we're the Asiangirls with the non-background. A sure sign something has gone wrong.
Dr. Light passed out trying to create a punchline for this comic. But don't worry, he's now in stable condition.

 

by Dr._Light
7-13-01
I think the Mariners are the best team in baseball.
I slightly disagree. But only slightly.

 

by Dr._Light
7-17-01
Hi, and welcome to the X games! I'm your host Xtremely Xtreme Xob, also known as Bob.
And I'm the co-host, Xncredibly Xtreme Xreg, also called Greg. Right now, Tony Hawk is on the course!
Ooh, look at that Xreg, Tonk Hawk just performed the 1649 ollie back reverse summerspring assault maneuver!
Um...what the hell does that mean again?
It means he fell and broke his neck, and is dead.
Oh, my bad.

 

by Dr._Light
7-19-01
Hmmm...I wonder if I'm actually a guy.
I'll ask my pet dragon Amorphis. Am I a man or a woman, Amorphis?
I honestly can't tell. I'm too strung out on the effects of weed.
Oh well. I'll go play some Twister, then watch the movie Twister while eating a pretzel twist.

 

by Dr._Light
7-19-01
FOR GREAT JUSTICE!!!!!!
Huh?
Sorry, I thought we were talking about something else.

 

by Dr._Light
7-20-01
This is WKRQ, playing nothing but the greatest Finnish rock hits!
Alright....HIT IT!

 

by Dr._Light
7-22-01
Thwack ihwa woon giuya fruol!
Um...hey Neal, what the fuck did that guy just say?
I'll check my Low Pass Generic Ununderstandable Language Translator.
Well....?
He either said something about beer jerky, or something relating to his ownership of your base.

 

by Dr._Light
7-22-01
Thwack ihwa woon giuya fruol!
Um...hey Neal, what the fuck did that guy just say?
I'll check my Low Pass Generic Ununderstandable Language Translator.
Well....?
He either said something about beer jerky, or something relating to his ownership of your base.

 

by Dr._Light
1-14-02
Quickly, you must get The One Ring to Mt. Doom before you are found by the forces of Sauron.
Sure. I....wait a minute. Shit, this is The Two Ring.
Dumbass.

 

by Dr._Light
1-14-02
Man, what a great day for humor.
Yup, it's gonna be one of those comedic days, I can just sense it.
Ah....the smell of hilarity.

 

by Dr._Light
1-14-02
Man, what a great day for humor.
Yup, it's gonna be one of those comedic days, I can just sense it.
Ah....the smell of hilarity.

 

by Dr._Light
1-15-02
Hey...WHO'S DA MAN?!?!
The third guy from the left over there, wearing the red T-shirt.
Thanks.

 

by Dr._Light
1-15-02
Option 1: Talk about something that no one else could possibly give a rat's ass about.
Yeah, so I said to him, no way a turbocharged unicycle can get 60 PRM's when it's less then 40 degrees-
Option 2: Add "ationness" to the end of approximately 70% of your words.
The sheer lameationness of that bigationness punkationess is unbelieveableationess.
Option 3: Transplant your brain with someone who actually possesses intelligence.
The sheer power...THE TOTAL, ABSOLUTE POWER!!!! I SHALL NOW BE DECLARED SURPEME RULER OF NEW JERSEY!!!

 

by Dr._Light
1-17-02
So, Donovan McNabb, how many points do you think you'll score against the Bears on Saturday?
One.
One? That's not possible!
With my unprecedented skill, I can MAKE it possible baby!!!
Retard....

 

by Dr._Light
1-17-02
So, Donovan McNabb, how many points do you think you'll score against the Bears on Saturday?
One.
One? That's not possible!
With my unprecedented skill, I can MAKE it possible baby!!!
Retard....

 

by Dr._Light
1-17-02
So, Donovan McNabb, how many points do you think you'll score against the Bears on Saturday?
One.
One? That's not possible!
With my unprecedented skill, I can MAKE it possible baby!!!
Retard....

 

by Dr._Light
1-17-02
Hey punk, we here at the Eagles message board don't think you wrote that last comic.
I can assure you that I, Dr. Light, AKA YogiTheMighty, did indeed write it.
Well geez, that kinda makes me look like a fucking idiot, doesn't it.
Yup.

 

by Dr._Light
1-17-02
I, PhillyPhreak1391, hereby declare myself the world's biggest badass.
Bullshit. You are a mildlyannoyingass, at best.
Please don't mock me, my will to live is fragile enough already.

 

by Dr._Light
2-19-02
It is dense, it is, it is namely roughness of the fine. Do you worry the glance which is possible to be my buttock?
Privately, I do not worry that kind of thing. But I like the glance where your mother who has been exposed is short.
I in you do not see with direction of my mother from this point, the sea urchin it orders. You shame namely you there are no creative ones which are polluted?
You come. Exactly, one time? I throw my buttock as a portion of transaction. You do not obtain a better offer!
You the sick person namely are the puppy which was twisted. You me can point to my family boringly. I order in order to go away to you immediately, or as for the fire of the hell there is you!
What which you said exactly I do not possess the beginning...

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