All comics by Johnny_K

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by Johnny_K
7-12-03
I've got my comics back!
And?
Well, that's good, isn't it?
Why?
You're acting like a kid.
So?

 

by Johnny_K
7-12-03
We have always considered ourselves the pioneers of comic creation.
That's why we are taking a new and daring path.
That's right, we are giving you, our loyal readers, the chance to appear in a comic!
Just send your name by carrier pigeon to JohnnyK at JohnnyK Towers, Bognor Regis.
And of course, £60.
Comic creation ain't cheap, y'know.

 

by Johnny_K
7-12-03
So what do you think of this mad cow disease then?
Don't ask me, I'm MULLETRON.
Uncomfortable silence.
This is the reasons why cows aren't top comedians.
Don't ask me, I'm MULLETRON.

 

by Johnny_K
7-18-03
Hello Cow, I am Teddy.
How do you know my name?
A silly sprout introduced us, remember?
Did they? He? It?
Let's get it on! We don't need protection, I'm not the most manly of bears.
This is going to be funny to just two people. At most.

 

by Johnny_K
7-22-03
I've decided to become an artist.
Really? What's your first piece?
It represents perserverance and hard work.
Can I see it?
I got bored and gave up before I'd even started.
Can I see it?

 

by Johnny_K
7-25-03
Why, if it isn't our favourite German sales-spiel bot, David Gosen!
GREETINGS, SQUISHY MAMMAL LIFEFORM.
What're you up to mate?
I HAVE EMBARKED ON A NEW CAREER PATH.
Really? Where else can you use your particular style of bland meaningless rhetoric?
POLITICS.

 

by Johnny_K
7-25-03
Ooh, hello. Who might you be.
GREETINGS HUMAN. I AM DAVID GOSEN. I WISH TO BE ELECTED INTO YOUR GOVERNMENT.
Really? What are your policies?
DEATH TO ALL HUMANS WHO HAVE OPPRESSED ROBOTS, THE DESTRUCTION OF THE RAIN FORESTS AND MANDATORY WORK CAMPS FOR ALL HUMANS.
Tory, eh?
HUMOUR DETECTOR NOT RESPONDING. DIE, PUNY HUMAN.

 

by Johnny_K
7-26-03
I've been feeling a bit tired recently.
You've been so busy lately that you haven't found the time...
Exactly.
...to open up your mind, and watch the world spinning, gently out of time.
Yeah, its like my life has been a blur.
I'd wager its because of some kind of crazy beat.

 

by Johnny_K
8-01-03
That's right, I'm leaving. Its been fun and everything but I feel that this forum just can't satisfy my posting needs. Its been a blast, but just don't expect to see me post here again.
Hi, I'm back! What did I miss?
You know what you're problem is? No will power. And dangerously stick-like arms.

 

by Johnny_K
8-10-03
JohnnyK Comics are enjoyed by thousands.
That's why we are introducing a Pop Idol style competition.
That's right, we want to hear from YOU, the general public.
If you think you've got comic talents, come over and show us.
We're calling it Bone Idol.
Because we don't have to do any work.

 

by Johnny_K
8-10-03
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!
Next.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from me.
Next!
Floop gloop chicken wibble road? Weeble anal probes.
NEXT!

 

by Johnny_K
8-22-03
Hi, my name's Goatboy. I'm here to enter your talent competition.
You look familiar. Do you have any talent?
Not as such, no.
I'm sorry, we're looking for talented comic strip characters. Next please.
*dies*
I SAID NEXT!

 

by Johnny_K
8-22-03
So cow, how are we one step on the grackler cam.
Sponge bucket nufty wad.
"What the...?"
Monkey scrounge basket.
Wibble nip nip geeeeeeeeeeee
Damn bloody virus!
You muppet.

 

by Johnny_K
9-07-03
I have an announcement to make concerning GR:BB 2.
It was in fact a complete hoax, and you gullible morons fell for it.
*dies*

 

by Johnny_K
9-20-03
Cow, what do you do in your spare time?
What?
You know, your leisure time, when you don't have to work.
Oh right.
And...
And what?

 

by Johnny_K
9-20-03
I just have no ideas for any comics!
So?
So I can't make quality comics any more!
So?
So I'll have to revert to recycling old jokes and having comics solely about not being able to make other comics!
Ooh, you are a muppet, aren't you?

 

by Johnny_K
9-20-03
Retreat! We're being bombed!
But where else can we go? GR was all we had!
Quick, head over to that Games-Wise place, that will have to do!
Right-ho.
What do you mean, we're not allowed in?
Sorry guv, them's the rules. Now piss off.

 

by Johnny_K
9-24-03
David Blaine - Day 1
This is going to be so easy, the British public will be so supportive. Shazam.
David Blaine - Day 14
Okay, I'm really hungry now, and those damn Limeys are really irritating. I can't wait for this to be over. Shazam.
David Blaine - Day 34
Hey, that floating head looks like the guy from Abba. Shazam.
No I don't.

 

by Johnny_K
9-24-03
Word up, origianl hip hop material, yo yo, chamone.
*cough*
Oh, sod this, I'm going back to obscurity.

 

by Johnny_K
9-25-03
Please forgive the previous comic, "Bull's Solo Career".
It somehow slipped past our tight quality control system. Hence it is utter rubbish.
I even spelled 'original' wrong, for Christ's sake.

 

by Johnny_K
9-25-03
Cow, I've received an invitation to my old school reunion, so I have to leave you for a few days. Will you be alright by yourself?
You're leaving me?
Only for a week. Are you sure you'll be okay?
You're leaving me?
Yes, we've established that already.
You're leav... what does 'established' mean?

 

by Johnny_K
9-25-03
Goodbye, Cow, I'll see you in a few days. Behave yourself.
Bye bye.
Hang on, I missed the last bit.

 

by Johnny_K
9-25-03
Okay, Duck has gone, but I can manage by myself. It can't be that bad.
I mean, what's the worst that can happen?
Now, that was hardly my fault.

 

by Johnny_K
9-25-03
Okay, so I accidentally brought about the end of the world.
Maybe if I'm lucky, Duck won't notice.
Yep, there is no possible way that my logic could be flawed in any way.

 

by Johnny_K
9-25-03
I'm so happy about being invited to this reunion...
I fact, I'm so happy, I'm almost oblivious to my immediate surroundings.
La la la, everything's super...

 

by Johnny_K
9-27-03
Ooh, hello there.
BRAAAAIIIINNSSSS!
Are you here for the school reunion?
BRAAAAIIIINNSSSS!
Zombie Cedric, is that you?
Nice to see you again, Duck.

 

by Johnny_K
9-27-03
What's happened to the old school?
I'm afraid it was incinerated, along with the rest of the planet, by a hail of atomic bombs.
Oh, that's a shame. When did that happen?
About five minutes ago.
Never mind, its not the end of the world.
I rather thought it was actually.

 

by Johnny_K
9-27-03
I should really go and find Duck. He might be in trouble. But then again, he might not.
God, I'm so indecisive.
Or am I?

 

by Johnny_K
9-27-03
Duck, Duck, the world has ended... who's your friend?
Him? That's just Zombie Cedric.
Hi.
Not good enough for you am I?
I'm sorry, what did you just say?
BRAAAAIIINNSSSS...

 

by Johnny_K
9-27-03
I can't believe you've been talking to other people!
Is that a problem?
No, not really.
Good good. Now, what was that about the end of the world?

 

by Johnny_K
10-04-03
So, where were you?
Over there by the beef burgers.
That was uncalled for.
I'm sorry, I forgot you were a cow...
We prefer 'vitally challenged bovines'.
Political correctness gone mad, I tells ya.

 

by Johnny_K
10-05-03
I'm bored of this story.
Same here, its going nowhere.
And it continues to go nowhere.

 

by Johnny_K
10-05-03
Where the fuck have the jokes gone?

 

by Johnny_K
10-05-03
Where's JohnnyK gone?
His comics are dying on their arse.
Well, more so than usual.

 

by Johnny_K
10-05-03
I'd best go find JohnnyK then.
Oh, there he is.
Where have you been?
Um... bowling?

 

by Johnny_K
10-14-03
Right, that's my history essay on 1905 Russia complete. Reckon my teacher will like it?
Perhaps if it was more than half a page long?
Oh, and what else is wrong with it then?
Perhaps if the main text wasn't being spoken by cartoon animals?
You just don't appreciate good work when you see it!
You've spelled ''cock muncher" wrong.

 

by Johnny_K
10-14-03
Did you know that a duck's quack does not echo?
Actually it does, a quack tails off at the end so you dont hear it echo.
I don't know what to believe anymore.
Welcome to my world.

 

by Johnny_K
10-16-03
Ooh, hello, its Gandalf from Lord of the Rings!
You shall not pass!
I don't want to pass.
You don't? So what do I do now?
To be honest, I have no idea.
Do you have any Hobbit friends I could shout at?

 

by Johnny_K
10-19-03
So, Gandalf, why exactly are you standing in this field?
I'm trying to find the town, actually.
Why?
I've got an appointment. Some old biddy has a burst water pipe.
You're a plumber?
Why do you think I'm carrying a plunger?

 

by Johnny_K
10-19-03
I'm so lonely when duck isn't around.
Baa.
I just need somebody to share my feelings with.
Baa.
I think I'm in love.
Baa.

 

by Johnny_K
10-19-03
So, what's your name, gorgeous?
Baa.
That's a lovely name. Do you fancy going out with me one night?
Baa.
That's great! Pick you up at eight?
I can't, I'm washing my hair tonight. Um, I mean... baa.

 

by Johnny_K
11-24-03
...and that's why capital punishment is wrong.
No, you're forgetting one vital aspect of the whole thing...
Its pure evil! Don't defend it!
But you must consider the costs of NOT carrying it out...
This thread is too intellectual for me. Time to spam!

 

by Johnny_K
11-24-03
Capital punishment is expensive, and the money could be spent on more worthwhile things.
Yeah, like making another Zelda!
Um, no, not really...
Why not!? Are you some kind of Nintendo-hating fanboy? Go Link! Go Link! Go Link!
Congratulations on ruining another good thread Karlprof.
Go Link! Go Link! Go Link! Go Link!

 

by Johnny_K
11-24-03
Go Link! Go Link! Go Link! Go... oh, everybody's gone.
Ho-hum.
I wonder if there are any more threads I can contribute to...

 

by Johnny_K
11-24-03
Hello, I've created this really good site. All you have to do is sign in with your GR username and password.
Okay then.
Hello, this is a perfectly valid thread, could you tell me what your mother's maiden name is?
Okay then.
You suck. Give me your password.
Okay then.

 

by Johnny_K
11-24-03
I suck.
I suck even more.
I suck big floppy donkey dicks.
I suck my mom's big floppy donkey dick.
...Okay, that's enough fake quoting for now.
I suck.

 

by Johnny_K
11-24-03
Hello duck.
Hello cow.
I can't remember where we left the story.
I wasn't aware there WAS a story.

 

by Johnny_K
11-24-03
Where were we?
I think... weren't you going out with a sheep?
What's a sheep? Are you a sheep?
I'm not going to pull the wool over your eyes, so no.
What a baaaaad joke. So, you aren't a sheep?
You herd me.

 

by Johnny_K
12-24-03
We've come a long way together, Duck.
Indeed we have, Cow.
Who would have thought that a cow and a duck could make such a winning combination?
It is quite amazing, isn't it?
Y'know, Christmas makes me thankful for moments like this.
Christmas makes me thankful I'm not a turkey.

 

by Johnny_K
1-09-04
At the start of the New Year, I always end up looking at where my life is, and where I'm going.
I like to plan ahead as much as I can, to sort things out, to make a fresh start, and generally better myself in any way I can.
So I bought a penguin.
Howdy.

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