All comics by MrDuck666

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by MrDuck666
10-10-02
Wow!!!, so are you like REALLY Satan!?!?!?!
Yup
Thus, Satan decided never again to manifest himself into the mortal realm unless really neccesary...
Cool....so...saw Dawson's Creek last night?

 

by MrDuck666
10-28-02
Well Bob, we're finally here, aren't we?, and it only took us 3 months to build a spaceship of Oreo cookies. I am telling you man...we are l33t men in the name of science!!!
Um...yeah, we are l33t...w00h00 and all that...um...about the ship....well...
Yes?
Well...I kinda ate it...totally...hehe...sorry...mybad...
Dammit, this nail isn't sharp enough to penetrate my skull, pierce my brain and kill me in a slow and agonizing death, sparing me your companionship..it is of course giving me a nasty headache...ow...
Jeez...you make one itty bit mistake and there he goes trying to drive a nail through his skull...it's the 4th time this month...sheesh...

 

by MrDuck666
10-28-02
So, here we are on the Moon, stranded(thanks to your appetite), with no possible way to get back and zero food supplies to survive...just wonderful...well..at least it couldn't get worse than this
ffs...
...
HALLO SIRS!!!!, I am XCP-303, l33t android of mass murder and an excellent cook, you are trespassing grounds and are hereby sentenced to a lifetime of prison, oh, and I am gay, so watch those arses!!!
So Al...tell me again the part were it couldn't get any worse, again please...no, better yet, pass me the hammer and nail so I can help ya with your problem...
Come now, we go or I start cornholing ya with my PENETRATOR-3000 Deluxe metal penis with iron-spikes on the side!!!

 

by MrDuck666
10-28-02
Oh God!!!, how can anyone think of building a prison in such a desolated place and actually incarcirate people in it, that is just so...so....odd
Well, it's not such a bad prison, got plenty of room and we're only to be raped once per night...plus we get 3 meals a day, so, it's not so bad...pretty warm and toasty too, yup!!
Oh boy...and to top this turd cake with piss icing, I get as cellmate Bob, the amazingly stupid fuck-it-all...God...someone just shoot me please!!!
Um...Al...look to your left...
Howdy!!!, I am Sal, the gay pink donkey!!!!, I'll be your cellmate and cell-bitch, so, who gets first dibs on me???
Bob...pass the nail and hammer please...

 

by MrDuck666
10-30-02
What does a pink gay donkey named Sal end up in the Moon, in a prison ON the Moon, IN our cell?, and to top it off..a gay mule...I demand to see my lawyer!!!
Well...I used to watch L.A. Law if that helps some...
...
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!!
Man...that hammer sure packs'em...ow...

 

by MrDuck666
10-30-02
Hey Al, it's that robot who put us in here!!!
Yus, it is I, XCP, I have come because I've realized the wrong in my ways and have decided to let you go!!!
Really!?!?!?!
Really!?!?!?!
Suddenly...the urge to trash my home PC on Earth seems like a reasonable thing...
Nah, just kidding. Actually I came in for your nightly raping, so bend over love muffins,'coz ol'XCP is gonna oil his joints, w00h00!!!!

 

by MrDuck666
10-30-02
ov vey....
Just kidding guys!, I ain't going to rape you, tonite at least. Fact is, Mr.Bonobo wants to see you two, since you're the newcomers and all, so, follow me please.
Can I come?, I got this new erotic dance I wanted to show to Mr.Bonobo!!!! *giggles*
Mr.XCP...is it allright if I kill Sal with my nail and hammer?....no?...ok...shit
Meanwhile, in Mr.Bonobo's office...
I like jam...

 

by MrDuck666
10-31-02
Mr.Bonobo, I've brought the new prisoners as you requested, is there anything else you'd want me to do or shall I stay here?
No need to XCP...you can go outside and patrol the perimeters. Now, come on in gentlemen, I've been expecting you!
You are Mr.Bonobo?, the warden of this prison!?!?!?!
Wow...he's very small...and cute too actually!!!!
Hi guys!!!, XCP didn't notice, but I escaped my cell to be with you...oh Al baby, gimme some luvin!!!!
Um...excuse me Mr.Bonobo, is there any death penalty issued around this prison?

 

by MrDuck666
10-31-02
Sooo...um...why did you brought us here Mr.Bonobo?, infact...why were we imprisoned?, we didn't know we were trespassing, honest!
Well, the fact is, all that "you're trespassing, your under arrest!" bullcrap is invented by me...I just needed an excuse to fill my prison, y'see, it was a birthday present from my dad!
So...if you're so lonely and stuff, why not convert your prison into a hotel or sumthing and have everyone come and go willingly and let'em have a good time, I mean...you'll make friends for sure!
mmmm.....now that ain't such a bad idea. Didn't see it that way...after all, most normally ran at the sight of XCP's penis...but...I guess that can be fixed...um, what is your friend doing with Sal?
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIEEEEEEE!!!!!
Ummmm...apparently he is trying to hammer in a nail up Sal's ass...unfortunately his plan is backfiring because Sal is obvious enjoying it...

 

by MrDuck666
6-27-03
To excuse the absence of MrDuck666 and the abrupt halt to Al and Bob's trip, the spokesperson of Public Bullshit shall speak...
It goes like this...
*sigh*...
I raped the jeebus out of'em!!!, THE END, ROOFLEs!!!

 

by MrDuck666
6-27-03
I'm just a lil'ol'messiah singing a song of love bayybeeehh...
huh?
Cruising along life's pain and misery bayyybe...
Why..it's Jesus singing at the cross!!!
I see ol'I-wish-I-was-Jason-Moors-wannabe bayyybe...
Suddenly...atheism doesn't seem so bad at the moment...

 

by MrDuck666
6-27-03
I just can't take it anymore...the sex, the violence, the greed...oh my poor poor body and soul...
Damn Clango, what seems to be the problem?
It's, it's...too horrible to speak...woe is me...let me be...
Aww!!!, shucks man!, we're brothers, you can lean on me!!!
Well...this was actually a ploy to attract your sympathyand at some point ask for hot monkey sex, interested?
Robotcide is not a crime last time I saw...

 

by MrDuck666
6-27-03
Dude...this is like...going to totally suck and shit, y'know?
duuuude...have faith, have faith!!!
But dude...I mean...are you sure?
Dude...it's me yer talking about!!!!
Dude...after the "brownie incident" I just...don't want to end in therapy again thanks to you..
Dude...I totally swear I do not know how that brownie ended crammed up your ass...really...I was just trying to suck it off for you!!!

 

by MrDuck666
6-27-03
It's odd how life's little ironies can be at times bittersweet...and I was sooo horny last night...
But..I mean...stuff like that shouldn't happen!!!, at least not in such a way...
I never knew my vagina could do an 'Ol'Faithful' imitation so good...poor carpet...

 

by MrDuck666
6-27-03
Love is a wonderful thing, y'know?, love makes people feel so good about themselves and stuff, everyone should love everyone!
Yup yup...
And people shouldn't fight, they should make love, not war!
Totally agreeing with you!
Hmmm...my resolved might be a bit affected after just having kicked Pete in the nuts for calling me a "skanky ho" a while ago...oh well, as they say..."try, try again!"
Ow...my nuts...I think that's blood coming out of my pee-hole...owie...somebody call 911...agh!

 

by MrDuck666
6-27-03
I be an honest cop, an honest cop that does his job right, and yanno why I do it right?
It is not for the pay, nor for the badge...my reasons are more humble...
I be doing it fer the ratings...so watch my show on FOX at 5pm, mon thru fri, enjoy!!!
Yanno...sometimes sunlight kills us faster than TV radiation...let's go outside, shall we?

 

by MrDuck666
6-27-03
Hmmm...
Smoke me, smoke me!, I am the all tasting cigarete, I light your fire baby, UNF UNF UNF!!!!
...
Shake it, bake it, light it, puff it, w000t!!!
I don't need tobaco in my life!!!, I have THIS!!!
Remember kiddies, smoking is bad for you...so is driving a nail through your skull, but at least your breath won't smell like crap!!!

 

by MrDuck666
10-09-05
HEAR ME OUT. I AM THE FLAME GENIE OF THE FLAME LAMP!!!
Hmmm...
I SHALL CONSUME YOUR BODY ALONGSIDE WITH YOUR SOUL!!!
So you say, Mr.Genie...
Owie...pee stains...hurt...can't...move...gah!
Nothing that some bladder excretion won't solve...God, I really had a lot to pee...

 

by MrDuck666
10-09-05
God, my penis is all rusted, almost about to fall off...
Hmmm...I should probably take this opportunity to get me a free sex change...
And sell my rusty dick as a second-hand vibrator that belonged to Tipper Gore.

 

by MrDuck666
10-26-06
Christian Scout cookies. Baked fresh with molested altar boys. They're yummy, an orgasm in your mouth like a padre's squeal of joy of sodomy!
"The truth shall set you free.", my ass...last time I go straightshooter in my sales' pitch.

 

by MrDuck666
10-26-06
Damn...I really want to pee.

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