All comics by PrimoOoze1138

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by PrimoOoze1138
12-19-04
A long time ago on a snowy Christmas night,
Santa and his reindeer set out on their flight.
To England they flew to make their rounds,
Smells like cabbage...
Stopping at all of the cities and towns.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
12-19-04
One of Santa's stops was a far away farm,
With animals sleeping outside of the barn.
"Something's not right," said the jolly old elf,
But he stopped there anyway in spite of himself.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
12-19-04
Santa thought little of it and set the sleigh down,
And as he did, there came the barking of hounds.
He slid down the chimey with his toysack in tow,
Here goes nothing...
While his reindeer waited outside in the snow.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
12-19-04
He set about his business inside the old house,
Whilst the reindeer began to whine and to grouse.
A raven appeared and asked:
What's the trouble, friends?
Are you complaining about you boss's fat rear end?

 

by PrimoOoze1138
12-19-04
"Actually we are," said the reindeer named Blitzen...
Yeah.
His sentiment was shared by the one named Vixen.
That fat man's pushed us for lord knows how long.
I tell ya, what he does to us is just plain wrong.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
12-19-04
"Well," said the raven...
Take heart my friends.
You'll go to paradise when you meet your end.
"But to ensure that you do, that you have the stuff...
You've got to tell the fat man that you've had quite enough.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
12-19-04
The other creatures joined in with their two cents,
A reindeer coup would be quite an achievement.
So the raven and the reindeer hatched a little scheme,
The likes of which this farm had never seen.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
12-19-04
The plan was all ready, the players all set,
This was a Christmas they'd never forget.
The reindeer stood ready for their imminent coup,
Awaiting the fat man's ascent up the flue.
Here goes nothing...

 

by PrimoOoze1138
12-19-04
As Santa and his reindeer took off in the night,
Onward!
The farm's inhabitants sent them off right.
"Remember the plan and follow Red's nose!
See to it that the fat man gets no repose!"

 

by PrimoOoze1138
12-19-04
They made it across the pond to New York State,
Where that jolly old fat elf would soon meet his fate.
The deer started repeating the mantra they had:
If four legs are good...
...Then two legs are bad!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
12-19-04
So with a mighty roll to the right, the plan went in motion,
Heave!
Though the reindeer forgot to dump him in the ocean.
For a moment he clung to the sleigh without mirth,
Before he finally lost his grip and plunged toward the Earth.
Aaaaaaaagh!!!!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
12-19-04
Santa fell to the Earth with a great whooshing sound,
And he crash-landed head first into the ground.
He said quietly to himself:
I feel like a railroad spike...
As he found himself stuck on the New Jersey Turnpike.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
12-19-04
The jolly old elf hitched a ride into town,
His suit torn up, and tattered and brown.
And as he walked past a television store,
He witnessed something he'd never before.
Dear lord, no....

 

by PrimoOoze1138
12-23-04
The newsanchor was calm, concealing his fright,
...as Santa's old reindeer rampage through the night.
The city was thrown into complete disarray,
As the fabric of Capitalism began to decay.
Down with Christmas!
Tell 'em, brother!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
12-23-04
As Santa watched on, frozen in place, A determined look came across his face.
"So it's come to this," said Santa to the TV,
They have to be stopped this Christmas Eve.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
12-23-04
He put in a call to his elves at the Pole.
I need immediate pickup from this Jersey hellhole.
Once he got home, Santa had a plan.
He'd unleash his backup team out upon the land.
Ho ho this, Rudolph...

 

by PrimoOoze1138
12-23-04
In a brand new sleigh, Santa would fly,
And save the day before Christmas passed by.
"On Bucky, on Hobbie, on Trevor and Sprocket,"
"On Ripley, on Jonesy, on Tubbs and Crockett!"

 

by PrimoOoze1138
1-31-05
He flew to New York, hoping for time...
...To save this fair city from Communist slime.
As Santa set the sleigh down in Times Square,
Where are those bastards...
A sidewinder missle whizzed through the air.
HOLY CRAP!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
1-31-05
When Santa Claus saw the reindeer in the street...
...He thanked the Gods of Thunder that he was packing heat.
With uzis, glocks, and grenades in his coat,
These bad boys were headed right down Red's throat.
You know how to use that thing?
This is the dangerous end, right?

 

by PrimoOoze1138
1-31-05
Then Santa went in search of the reindeer leader,
You all stay behind and keep watch on the meter.
Will do, chief!
No sooner had Santa walked around the corner,
Than another missle flew in and shattered all order.
Oh, son of a BITCH!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
1-31-05
The shot came from the atop the Chrysler tower...
Take that, Ripley, Jonesy, Tubbs, and Crockett!
Where Red stood after his comrades he devoured.
He had killed Santa's crew, every last one...
If he had no crew, then Santa would have none.
Damn you, Red!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
1-31-05
And so it came to a standoff high above the city.
Santa had only his sidearm, Red gave no sympathy.
You don't have to do this...
Said the Jolly Old Elf,
I know there's still good deep down inside yourself.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
1-31-05
"Don't you see what I'm doing?" said the last reindeer.
I'm trying to get dispose of this Capitalist cheer!
I don't want to hear it!
Exclaimed Santa Claus,
And he cocked his gun and then took a pause.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
1-31-05
And that's when the hammer fell on Santa's nine...
The slug hit its mark and severed Red's spine.
The force knocked him back and off of his feet,
Aaaaaaaagggggghhhh.....
And Red's body liquified when it landed in the street.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
1-31-05
And so Christmas was saved from Red's evil scheme
Three cheers for Santa!
To turn the Winter holiday into a Communist dream.
Hip hip...
hooray!
We all owe Santa Claus a humongous debt
For killing the reindeer, his most favorite pet.
That story sucked.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
2-05-05
Wade here, back to show you all the new features StripCreator's given us strip creators...
Hold on to your pants...
Now we have a bathroom!
Holy crap!
And a restaurant table for two!
So I says to 'em, "Get your own gazpacho!"
I say.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
2-06-05
Heh Heh...Bottom feeders...heh heh...Bottom...
Hey, Godzilla, where's a bathroom at? I gotta pee.
WHOOOOOOOOO.....
...OOOOOOOO!!!!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
2-06-05
...Of "Ed Wood."
I, um, like wearing women's clothing...
Where are my sweaters?
::Gasp!:: It's Bela Lugosi!
What do you want?
My God, I LOVE making movies!
Dude, your movies suck. In an awesome kind of way....

 

by PrimoOoze1138
3-06-05
You ever get the feeling you're staring into the mirror of life?
No.
Me neither. Just asking.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
3-13-05
I hit my head on a fairly metal object.
CLANG!
What's all this?
This is your nightmare, pal. Get used to it.
Aren't you Brad Pitt?
Hey, fuck you.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
3-13-05
Let's get going. Got a lot to show you. By the way, I'm your tour guide. Name's Tyler Jergen.
Don't you mean Durden?
Whatever. Let's go.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
3-13-05
OK, so this is the first stage of your nightmare.
Being what?
A Paul WS Anderson movie!
NOOOOO! Wait....what?
Oh, geez....
Yo, wassap?!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
3-13-05
That certainly was terrifying.
Wasn't it?
Um...actually, that was kinda cool.
Don't ever say that again.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
3-13-05
Nightmare #2
Welcome to the second act tonight's groovy little nightmare.
OK, so what's up this time?
In a few moments, this brick wall will proceed to chase you down the street.
That's it, boy. Run!
AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
3-13-05
So, think you've had enough yet?
...Yeah, that brick wall was more than I could stand.
That's too bad, 'cuz here it comes again!
Oh, shit...
I love this job.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAGHH!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
3-13-05
Man, there is something very wrong with you.
Actually, it's you. I'm just a bunch of synapses going haywire in your brain. You'll forget all about this in the morning.
But geez, you're a real dick.
I know.
Let's go.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
3-13-05
Nightmare #3
Dude, where are we now?
HELL!
So. Pretty creepy, huh?

 

by PrimoOoze1138
3-13-05
Wait, now where are we going?
Got one more nightmare to show you, bub.
Can we go back to Hell? I kinda wanna go back to Hell.
No! There's one more thing you gotta see before you can leave this nightmare. I'M the tour guide here, remember?
Fiiine...we'll go look at your stupid nightmare...
That's more like it. Asshole.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
3-13-05
Nightmare #4
Behold, the most terrifying thing in your entire life!
Oh, you gotta be shitting me...
Nope.
Ooh, listen to this one! Algorithm 45.6b!
Booyaa!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
3-13-05
Guh!
Special thanks to Stephen King for making up such a good title for me to steal.
Bad dream, then?
Yeah. Brad Pitt's a real jackass.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
3-16-05
I wonder if I can create a comic with just two panels.
I think not!
Oh yeah? Well...

 

by PrimoOoze1138
3-16-05
OK, so that little dead child was right.
You're damn straight I was right. Asshole.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
3-18-05
The ultimate viewing experience is here:
Quasar-vision!
How does it work?
Well, Quasar-vision harnesses the power of a collapsed star, a pseudo-black hole if you will, to beam high powered TV directly into your brain!
I'll take it!
Quasar-vision may cause optical and anal bleeding.
WOW!
HOLY SHITS!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
4-03-05
Now in full color!
You dames are all the same, ya know?
Yeah. I know.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

 

by PrimoOoze1138
4-05-05
So the NCAA Final Four has come to a close this year.
And UNC has taken the Championship!!!
NOOOOOOOOOO....
...OOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Fuckers.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
4-07-05
Now that I'm an official donor/member to the site, I thought I'd take the time to reintroduce you all to my cast of (real life) characters.
Wade.
Derek.
You know me.
Wade #2, booyaa!
And many more!
Justin.
Zetura Dracos.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
4-07-05
TAKE THAT, BITCH!
Dude, no camping! That's cheating, you can't camp!
No, no, no. Not camping. It's Strategic Waiting.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
4-08-05
Whoa there, friend. Looks like you're bringing in some huge fish today.
Yessirree...
What kind of bait you got there? Nightcrawlers?
Not exactly...

 

by PrimoOoze1138
4-09-05
Oh shits, man! Someone gave us a bad vote on Stripcreator!
It's ok, calm down.
I'm calm! I'm calm! GAAAH!!
Dude, remember: W.W.J.N.D.?
Right. What Would Judd Nelson Do?
Now go harass a teacher or something.

 

by PrimoOoze1138
4-18-05
Man, what are you doing?
I'm smoldering with general agony.
The idea of no more Penny Arcade comics terrifies me.
...*sigh*...And why's that?
Didn't you hear the news?! Gabe and Tycho split up!
Dude, they're not married, they're just comic artists.
Married...roommate comic-artist-gamers...what's the difference?

Showing page 2.

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