All comics by RealRandomComicMan

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I'm sorry, but Scientology isn't real.
Well, I'll show you, I'll fly to the moon and stab your God.
My God does not live on the moon.
Are you sure?
Yes, I can picture my god up in heaven right now looking down on us all.

 

Luckily they didn't check my criminal record, because as you know I killed some men.
Right.
Yeah, no drug test either. My piss is so fresh and so clean. Wanna smoke a joint?
Naw.
What's with you black guys huh? Always trying to be bigger than us bears? Take your dick out right now homeslice.
I think thats against union standards.

 

Say boy, say you how?
Excuse me?
I says where you get them apple jacks in yo hand. Circus peanuts?
I'm not sure....
Cracker on the whig wham twice on the morrow?
Oh, the bathroom is down the hall.

 

This architecture frightens me. It reeks of morning glory.
Look, we're just starting out. We need to live within our means.
This isn't an apartment its an alley!
Please don't insult my home making.
Seriously, where am I supposed to shit?
Oh, the bathroom is down the hall.

 

So, did his insurance go through? I need to give him this shot of glycerine.
I need it.
Jesus, I need to take a shit
I reckon' this young man needs to take a shit.
Would you happen to know where the shitter is?
Oh, the bathroom is down the hall.

 

Dude, I swear. The pot they found on me was from my own personal stash and not from your own.
I want you to urinate into my mouth so I can gargle you and test for trace amounts of marijuana. My marijuana.
That sounds a bit extreme.
I need to taste it to be sure.
Fine, where should we do it?
Oh, the bathroom is down the hall.

 

Can robots see through time?
No we can't.
I wonder if he's lying.
I'm not lieing.
Can robots read thoughts?
Oh, the bathroom is down the hall.

 

Fireman. You're brave to save me, but I think you should know I set this fire as a means of commiting suicide.
Do you want me to leave you?
I want you to help me drive this nail through my head so I can die with dignity.
Where are the panda's?
My prada's are right next to the toilet.
Oh, the bathroom is down the hall.

 

I'm proud to be a Dragon-American.
Nervous cough and mumble...
Oh, the bathroom is down the hall.

 

Samuel, I don't know how to ask you this.
Can i poo anywhere?
Oh, the bathroom is down the hall.

 
Oh, the bathroom is down the hall.

 

Hey there?
Dude, we're you in that cookie crisp commercial back in the day?
No.
You smell like cookie crisp dude.
The front yard is clean. Do you understand my code?
Oh, the bathroom is down the hall.

 

Groovy.
I think this guy might be on drugs.
I hope this hep cat can't read minds. I know where the little boy was burried.
Its times like this I wished I could read minds.
I know where the hidden donut cartel is located.
I'M A COP!

 

I brought what you asked for.
I'm going to have to ask for a discount.
Can't do it dude, can't do it.
I'm afraid you have no choice.
Dude, calm please.
I'M A COP!

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