All comics by Smarmulus

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by Smarmulus
10-05-05
I have been accused of lacking empathy for my fellow StripCreators. I CRY FOUL AT THIS OUTRAGEOUS ALLEGATION! Empathy comes from love.
One must love himself in order to love others. Recently I edited every panel of a comic series I wrote two years ago.
This despite the fact no one liked it enough to read when originally posted. THUS PROVING: I have more self-love than anyone else in this race!

 

by Smarmulus
10-05-05
If selected to host CC 300 I promise the rules will forbid the use of Tobor.
TOBOR NOT IN COMIC CUP 300 & NO MORE REACH AROUND FOR SMARMULUS!
Don't worry. When did ANYONE running for ANY OFFICE ever keep a campaign promise?
SMARMULUS VERY STUPID. THIS NOT A TWO PANEL COMIC.

 

by Smarmulus
10-05-05
"and now a few minutes with Andy Rooney"
Did you ever notice how some women get really bad yeast infections?
And if it's really bad there is a rancid smelling discharge the consistency of cottage cheese.
It sure does taste good.

 

by Smarmulus
10-05-05
"it's time once again for a few minutes with Andy Rooney"
Did you ever notice how Jerry Seinfeld stole his entire stand up comedy act from me?
Kike.

 

by Smarmulus
10-05-05
"once again a few minutes with Andy Rooney"
Did you ever notice how you can't find a paperclip when you really need one?
It appears you are writing a comic. May I help you?
One day I'm going to kill Bill Gates.

 

by Smarmulus
10-05-05
Another reason to vote for me, Fuzzyman and I were childhood friends. I taught him everything he knows about comedy.
a randomly selected panel from a Fuzzyman comic
RAAAR! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!
What the fuck are you talking about?
Err, um, so vote for me. I'm not Fuzzyman.

 

by Smarmulus
10-08-05
What is the sound of one hand clapping?
Moans of onanistic delight.

 

by Smarmulus
10-09-05
Think of a word...
Now think of a word which sounds very similar but means something different...
And that's how I was born.

 

by Smarmulus
10-12-05
XXXOOOXXX
XXXOOOXXX
Meet Dexx, StripCreator artist extrodianire
I wonder what would happen if I gave the preist Jesus' beard and a change of clothes?
OK, you caught me. I was excommunicated. How could I know that old faggot in Rome was really serious about that celibacy stuff?

 

by Smarmulus
10-14-05
take one
add one
the product is
I don't think the implications of this comic are very funny.

 

by Smarmulus
10-14-05
Hello class. I'm Doctor Pedantic and I'll be your English 101 professor.
Whoever scores the highest on the MENSA vocabulary examination will receive a trophy shaped like a domesticated feline.
Would you care to see my MENSA PENDANT?
*groan*

 

by Smarmulus
10-14-05
Hello. Is this Mrs. Kaufman?
Dr Pedantic, I'm so wet. Hurry over here and take me now.
40 years later...
It's third down with ten yards to go.
PUNT!

 

A recent poll of African Americans revealed a miniscule 2% approval rating for President Bush.
RAAAR! PEOPLE WOULD RATHER BE ASSRAPED BY TOBOR THAN BY KNOW-NOTHING-BORE!
by Smarmulus, 10-14-05

 

A recent study reveals that less than 2% of Americans read one or more books a year.
TOBOR CORNHOLE ILLITERATE FLESH THINGS!
by Smarmulus, 10-20-05

 

Considering how often you appear in rectal themometer joke comics, it's a good thing you don't have a nose.
by Smarmulus, 10-20-05

 

by Smarmulus
10-20-05
Homeland Security Chief Chertoff, what do you have to say in defense of your handling of hurricane Katrina?
MOH

 

by Smarmulus
10-21-05
Edith Keiller must die!
Goddamnit that's not in the script I wrote.
Harlan, Gene was upset about the references to drugs so he rewrote the script.
Goddamnit. After he dies I am going to trash him in print. And I'll tell everyone about Shatner's wig.
For some reason I am not detecting any signs of intelligent life.

 

by Smarmulus
10-21-05
I have no talent...
and I must write.

 

Damn it Smarmulus, I am sick and tired of your toilet humor!
by Smarmulus, 10-21-05

 

by Smarmulus
10-24-05
In a strange way this does help with the feelings of inadequacy caused by my impotence.

 

by Smarmulus
10-26-05
Did you hear that Smarmulus is participating in Comic Cup 13?
Ughh. That guy is terrible.
Your pal BigFrank105 got stuck with Smarmulus as his Comic Cup partner.
Ughh. BigFrank can be a dick sometimes, but no one deserves that fate.
BigFrank why are you wearing a rabbit costume.
Shut up bitch. I'm in disguise. Tell anyone it's me and I'll chop you up like a wood chipper set on maximum.

 

by Smarmulus
10-27-05
I have no nose
and I must sneeze.

 

by Smarmulus
10-28-05
I have no training...
and I must operate.
He's dead Jim.

 

ABE VI-YODA I AM, BITCH!
What the fuck are you talking about?
by Smarmulus, 11-02-05

 

by Smarmulus
11-10-05
see www.stripcreator.com/comics/Purno/321623
Matt, have you seen the sandwich I just made for Nancy?
Why yes. It's quite delicious.
Asshole, I made that especially for Nancy, not for you.
Ehm, you might want to call the poison hotline. RIGHT NOW!

 

by Smarmulus
11-10-05
According to Playboy magazine what is man's most basic sexual fear?
A paternity suit.

 

by Smarmulus
11-10-05
In a recent interview Tom Cruise said,"Every woman I've ever been intimate with in my life was..." Was what?
A gigolo.

 

by Smarmulus
11-10-05
According to Psychology Today magazine there are three little words every man must learn to use if he expects his marriage to be a successful one. What are they?
Suck me bitch.

 

by Smarmulus
11-10-05
According to Ann Landers after a man who is dating a woman tells her "I love you" repeatedly there is another question she usually expects to hear next. What is it?
Can I fuck you in the ass now?

 

by Smarmulus
11-10-05
According to Women's Day magazine if you wake up at night and sense there is a stranger in the room with you what should you do?
Cut down on your drinking.

 

by Smarmulus
11-10-05
According to Hustler magazine what is man's most basic sexual fear?
Being outted.

 

by Smarmulus
11-10-05
According to Cosmopolitan magazine if you meet a stranger at a party and you think she is very attractive is it okay to come right out and ask her if she is in a relationship with someone?
It's best to wait until the next morning.

 

by Smarmulus
11-10-05
According to Cosmopolitan magazine some men are better sex partners once they reach middle age because they have lost something. What?
All sense of shame.

 

by Smarmulus
11-13-05
We are currently having technical difficulties. We apoligize for this inconvience and have our top men working on the problem. Your comic will be up shortly.
What the fuck are you talking about?

 

I just don't like sex. It hurts.
Becky, next time lubricate the vibrator first and try using it on your FRONT on the outside.
by Smarmulus, 11-14-05

 

by Smarmulus
11-14-05
Welcome to Patel's. I'll be your waiter.
Would you like to eat inside, or not outside?

 

by Smarmulus
11-14-05
Would you like your curry very hot
or very, very hot?

 

by Smarmulus
11-14-05
Would you like your rice with peas
or not without peas?

 

by Smarmulus
11-15-05
I'd like to see the manager, please.
Tell you what I'm gonna do, just special for you I'll make the rice without not having peas.

 

by Smarmulus
11-15-05
Royal, I just don't like sex. IT HURTS.
OK Becky. If it were anyone else I would think they were developmentally disabled, but I think I understand.
our hero travels far and through much danger...
Tobor, have you been fucking Becky again?
*sigh* TOBOR CAN NOT HOLD HIS LIQUOR.

 

by Smarmulus
11-16-05
Confucius once said,"I can do absolutely nothing for the man who will not bring me his..." His what?
Most attractive daughter.

 

by Smarmulus
11-16-05
In order to do something that is very popular among tourists in Ireland you must lie on your back with your head dangling below your feet while somebody holds your knees. In order to do what?
A piledriver.

 

by Smarmulus
11-16-05
How do you make a Fruit Cordial?
Wear nothing but a speedo.

 

by Smarmulus
11-16-05
According to legend he crossed America's open spaces giving his seed to strangers, planting his own, and always moving on. Who was he?
Smarmulus.

 

by Smarmulus
11-16-05
True of false: one of the side effects of taking an antidepressant can actually be depression.
Well, it's the most common side effect of reading comics on Stripcreator.

 

by Smarmulus
11-19-05
George Bernard Shaw wrote,"It's such a wonderful thing, what a crime to waste it on children." What is this wonderful thing?
A reach around.

 

by Smarmulus
11-29-05
backstage at Smackdown 700...
I don't think I've seen you here before. Who is your match against?
Oh no, I'm not a professional wrestler. I'm a groupie.
That explains a lot about my colleagues.

 

by Smarmulus
12-01-05
Me no fucky sucky for five dollar any more.
What! Why you no fucky sucky for five dollar?
I have AIDS.
I told you pimp no give aid. Pimp beat you and steal your five dollar.
What the fuck are you talking about, biatch?

 

by Smarmulus
12-02-05
note: this is true
Isaac Asimov's widow has revealed that he died of AIDS contracted from a blood transfusion in the mid 1980s. Thus god does not exist.
That doesn't follow. Asimov was an atheist.
Asimov was an atheist and a humanist. He believed one should search for truth via the scientific method rather than through faith in mythology/religion.
Thus, if there were a god he would have kept Asimov alive long enough to see the movie version of "I, Robot."
That makes a lot more sense than Descartes' argument.

 

by Smarmulus
12-02-05
I've just gotten some terrible news. I have AIDS.
Oh Timmy, that's awful. I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better.
How about "Fuck me now"?
Why is my SISTER always running away from me?

Showing page 2.

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