All comics by Yankowitz

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by Yankowitz
3-07-05
You know, Christ... It's a great experience to spend some time talking with you...
-PAIN-
I mean... When this crucifixion his over, I intend to write a book about you and me.
You mean... once they've finished crucifying you, Brian ?
Er... Forget it !
-PAIN-

 

by Yankowitz
3-07-05
Isn't it ironic, Christ?
What, Brian ?
Well, you used to multiply fishes, didn't you ?
Right.
Now you're multiplying flesh-eating worms!
-PAIN-

 

by Yankowitz
3-07-05
-PAIN-
-PAIN-
I'm afraid of dying, Christ !
You Shouldn't be, Brian. You believe in life after death, don't you ?
Uhh... No. but I believe in life after birth though...
-PAIN-

 

by Yankowitz
3-07-05
Say, Christ ? You would tell me if I was being a pain in the ass ?
You're OK, Brian. I can't complain.
Really ? That's sweet !
I mean... it could be worse. You could be singing !
WHAT A LOVELY IDEA !
-PAIN-

 

by Yankowitz
3-07-05
SWING LOW ! SWEET CHARIO-OT !
-PAIN-
COMING FOR TO CARRY ME HOME !
-PAIN-
SWI-ING LOW ! SWEET CHARIO-OT...
It ain't no chariot and it ain't swinging, Brian !

 

by Yankowitz
3-08-05
-PAIN-
-PAIN-
You know what, Christ ? I've been thinking !
Have you, Brian ?
I'm TOTALLY against death penalty !
Me too, Brian, me too...

 

by Yankowitz
3-08-05
I wish I could do something against death penalty, Christ ! We should organize protests ! Make sure everyone knows how unfair it is...
-PAIN-
... So that someday it be impossible to legally kill another person !
That's not gonna be tomorrow, Brian...
Uhh ??
... nore in the two thousand years to come...

 

by Yankowitz
3-09-05
-PAIN-
-PAIN-
-PAIN-
-PAIN-
I wonder how this is all going to end, Christ...
Haven't you seen Spartacus starring Kirk Douglas ?

 

by Yankowitz
3-09-05
-PAIN-
-PAIN-
Christ ?
What, Brian ?
Life's a bitch and then you die... and then you resurect.
True.

 

by Yankowitz
3-09-05
Visitor hour :
OUCH !
OUCH !
OUCH !
HEY YOU ! STOP THROWING ROCKS AT US !
You know that guy, Christ ?
Sure, Brian ! He's that BLIND guy I CURED in Jericho !

 

by Yankowitz
3-10-05
Christ, I miss the women ! I had a woman once...
-PAIN-
She had a wooden leg of course, but she would prepare great falafel sandwiches ! Eventually, I had to exchange her for a bag full of peas...
-PAIN-
Ever had a girl to love and cherish, Christ ?
Joker.

 

by Yankowitz
3-10-05
You never quite found your kind of woman, have you Christ ?
It's complicated, Brian... She'd have to be just like my mother...
Meaning ?
Meaning she outta be able to breed without being touched !
That'd be one of a kind, wouldn't it ?
-PAIN-

 

by Yankowitz
3-14-05
So what's it like to be the son of God Our Almighty Lord?
It's not what you think, Brian...
Yeah ?
My relations with my father were quite casual !
Really, Christ ?
Yeah. For instance at dinner time I was allowed to just call him "God".

 

by Yankowitz
3-14-05
Visitor hour :
Say, Christ ? You see the little kid over here... the one that's not throwing rocks at us ?
Yes, Brian ?
that's my younger son, Helmut Yankowitz !
Helmut ?
Look at ourselves ! There's no future for jews in Palestine. I want him to settle in a safer place... Germany.
-PAIN-

 

by Yankowitz
3-14-05
I can't believe the Religious Authority decided to crucify you, Christ !
It wasn't them, Brian...
I thought so ! After all, half of the population of Palestine claims to be the son of God, the other half being... women.
It's the Trade and Finance authority that wanted my crucifixion...
Why's that ?
They accused me of threatening the bread industry by multiplying them !

 

by Yankowitz
3-31-05
Frisky night, ain't it Christ ?
Yes it is, Brian.
Sometimes I wish Satan would appear to me...
Er...
... just to heat up a bit the atmosphere...
-PAIN-

 

by Yankowitz
4-14-05
-PAIN-
-PAIN-
-PAIN-
If this is a joke...
-PAIN
Please stop it, Dad!

 

by Yankowitz
4-14-05
GIVE ME A "Y" !
GIVE ME A "Y" !
GIVE ME A "Y" !
-PAIN-

 

by Yankowitz
4-14-05
I'm bored, Christ !
-PAIN-
Why don't we play hide and seek ?
-PAIN-
Really, why ?
what do you think Brian ?

 

by Yankowitz
4-14-05
You should be more positive about all this, Christ...
-PAIN-
Look at it this way...
-PAIN-
... We're only 90 degrees away from happiness !
True.

 

by Yankowitz
4-15-05
You know what Christ ?
What, Brian ?
I've been thinking all this over...
I'm pretty sure that we're gonna die.
What a sharp and witty mind !

 

by Yankowitz
4-18-05
Wow ! Look at that, Christ !
-PAIN-
Yesterday's rainfalls have totally flooded the city !
-PAIN-
We're lucky they crucified us on top of a hill !
Are we, Brian ?

 

by Yankowitz
4-19-05
And so, Brian, on the seventh day, Dad looked at his Creation and decided to rest with satisfaction...
Er... Christ ?
What Brian ?
Would you call THIS world perfect?
Er... forget it...

 

by Yankowitz
4-19-05
That's it, Christ !
What, Brian ?
I think I'm gonna die right now !
Are you, really ?
Er... No. I'm just trying to add a bit of suspense in the serial !
Uh... OK

 

by Yankowitz
4-19-05
Visitor hour :
OUCH !
OUCH !
OUCH !
OUCH !
Why do they always have to throw rocks, Christ?
Right, Brian.... HEY, GUYS ??? WHY DON'T YOU PEOPLE TRY MARSHMALLOWS?

 

by Yankowitz
5-17-05
I'm fed up with the sun !
-PAIN-
It's such a pain in the ass !
Really, Brian ?
Er... in the eyes, I mean...
-PAIN-

 

by Yankowitz
5-17-05
I wish I had seen the weather forecast before being crucified, Christ !
Why's that, Brian ?
I'd have taken my Ray-bans !
And your tanning lotion too, Brian !
Er... Right !
-PAIN-

 

by Yankowitz
5-17-05
The sun is killing me, Christ !
-PAIN-
Honestly ! It's making me blind !
Have no worry, Brian ! I can cure you !
You can, really ?
-PAIN-

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