All comics by akirajim

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by akirajim
9-23-02
You have the smallest wang that I ever did see.
I really hate these leeches.
So naked, so free!
Fuck, fuck, oh fuck! I'll be washin' all the time (to clean this shit off)!
SCHWING
Relax, baby, you look damn good in grime.

 

by akirajim
9-25-02
Hmmm.
Looks like you're writing a letter. Need some help? Who are you writing to?
My aunt.
HINT: How about propositioning her for sex? If she's a big enough slut (and knowing you, she probably is) then you'll most likely get some action come next Christmas.
Did the Office Assistant just insult me?
YES

 

by akirajim
9-25-02
What the hell are you doing, kid?! Put your dick away!
HELP SOMEONE DEXX IS MOLESTING ME
Leave that kid alone, you sick fuck.
Oy blimey mate g'day g'day top o' the mornin! Yer comin with me to the station. Get in the paddywagon, bloke.
DexX, the UN has found you guilty of raping a small boy. Now normally under these circumstances we'd kill you, but we're short on secret agents. So we need you to be a secret agent. For us.
Do I get to be an Xtreme sports secret agent?

 

by akirajim
9-25-02
Do you know who I am? I am Xtreme sports secret agent super hero Triple DexX. How dare you fuck with me!
I am the meanest motherfucker ever to come out of Australia. Piss me off and you'll wake up laying naked in bed next to Steve Erwin!
Now take your goddamn ball and get out of here.
Yes sir.

 

by akirajim
9-25-02
Psst. Know where I can buy some marijuana cigarettes?
Over there, man.
Hey, "dude." Do you know where I can "score" some "Mary Jane"?
Huh?
THIS IS A DRUG BUST! DROP YOUR PANTS AND SPREAD YOUR ASSCHEEKS MOTHERFUCKER CAUSE I'MA SEARCHIN' FOR YOUR STASH!
Yipes stripes!

 

by akirajim
9-25-02
Triple DexX, I think you know why I called you here.
No need to thank me. Fighting evil is all in a day's work for Xtreme sports secret agent super hero Triple DexX.
We've noticed you haven't done anything but harass people.
So?
And, no, you are NOT entitled to "sample the merchandise" when you arrest a hooker.
I play by my own rules!

 

by akirajim
9-25-02
My boss just doesn't understand me.
ALRIGHT, NOBODY MOVE! YOU'RE ALL UNDER ARREST FOR BEING CAUGHT IN THIS SECRET ILLEGAL GAY SPOT!
But this is my house.
Secret illegal gay spots can strike any time, anywhere!
Please leave.

 

by akirajim
9-25-02
No! This is now my new secret base of operations. And you're my new sidekick...
...Um...
...Ass Lad!
Yay, I get to be Ass Lad!

 

by akirajim
9-25-02
DexX is back! Hey, DexX, give me a fiver or I'll cry rape.
Aagh!
KARATE CHOP!
End of Genesis Saga.
Haha.
I like to hurt children.

 

by akirajim
9-27-02
What's the DEAL with Jews?
That's so true!

 

by akirajim
9-27-02
What are you punks doing out and about? Go to school like normal children, you Communist assholes!
But it's a Saturday.
Fuck you!
And it's also Christmas.

 

by akirajim
9-27-02
Hey, baby. It's Christmas time and I'm sooooo lonely.
And I have five dollars.
I have five dollars.
Police!

 

by akirajim
9-27-02
I think I just had a baby in your toilet.
You remembered to flush, right?

 

by akirajim
9-27-02
So.. Are you ready to get your five dollars worth?
What the fuck are you talking about?

 

by akirajim
9-27-02
Triple DexX, there's a riot in Time Square!
On my way, boss!
...
...
This is a pretty fucking pathetic riot.
Give us a break; we're depressed.

 

by akirajim
9-27-02
What have you been up to, Ass Lad?
You know that green-haired slut? Well I followed her around for an hour leering at her and ended up in the strip club where she works...
No hay banda, baby.
Get off the stage, shit goblin!
And then like forty men ganged up and assraped me outside the club! It was the happiest day of my life!

 

by akirajim
9-27-02
I hereby declare this the best Christmas ever.
Say, Triple D...
Yes?
What's the MEANING of Christmas, exactly?
End of Xmas Saga.

 

by akirajim
9-30-02
Sucky sucky five dollah.
Is no good! No more funney! We will take vacation from empty white space.
Where to cap'n?
Sunny Tokyo-3, place of NERV HQ and the Impact that is Third. But is nothing here!
Then let us go to diesel, site of diesel.
I am making the sly jokes about rapping, mentstruation, pornography, etc. This job's a success!

 

by akirajim
9-30-02
Hello, dcomposed.
Fuck you.
Oh, you're such a card, dcomposed. How would you like to accompany me on a rousing adventure through the Amazon rain forest?
Wow, that sounds great!
Super! Only we're not going to the Amazon rain forest, we're going to downtown Seattle to buy me a nickel bag.
You wily trickster, you!

 

by akirajim
10-02-02
We aren't really going to buy marijuana, you know. We're actually going to a dinner party.
Wow...
That is an exciting yet faggy plot twist!
When's the party starting, dad?
As soon as dcomposed arrives. Now get out my room so I can jack off.

 

by akirajim
10-02-02
Hey, Skagg. Where's your father?
Masturbating in his bedroom.
I suspect he'll be fashionably late, as usual.
Classy!

 

by akirajim
10-02-02
I haven't seen you in ages, my old secret agent friend Triple DexX!
I've brought the fifth guest with me.
Yeah, bitches! I'm the fifth guest!
Good. The murdering should commence in about eight seconds.
It'll be a big surprise!

 

by akirajim
10-02-02
The lights went out...
...and now Skagg's dead!
Let's question the suspects.
Look, there's a discarded KFC bucket near the body. In Texas, that's proof enough for me to lynch you, Neal!

 

by akirajim
10-02-02
What the fuck is this shit?! You fuckers know I didn't kill Skagg!
I may or may not have killed Skagg.
This is whack!
I DID kill Skagg.
There's all the suspects.
Let's poke them in the eye. If they blink, they're guilty!

 

by akirajim
10-02-02
Speak to me thine name, boy, so that thou may enter into Heaven.
Skagg.
You have to say fifteen "Hail Maries" before you can get in.
In repentance for that time I sucked a stranger's dick in Baltimore?
No, for that time you fisted your mentally retarded first grade teacher's asshole.
God hates heteros.

 

by akirajim
10-02-02
Well that was certainly a rousing murder mystery.
We killed every last one of the suspects.
So...
End of Victorian Murder Mystery Saga.
Justice is most definitely served!

 

by akirajim
10-04-02
October is breast cancer awareness month.
Be sure to check for lumps on your boobs every day. It could save your life.
Why are you telling me this?! I don't even have breasts!
Whatever you say, tubby.

 

by akirajim
10-04-02
Pretty please?

 

by akirajim
10-04-02
Augh, Triple DexX, the agency that once employed you has turned on us! Get away while you still can!
*JAB*
But, Ass Lad, what good can I do? All I can do is hurt people, and whenever I do that I think that it should be me instead.
No you don't, Triple DexX. You love to hurt children!
What the fuck are you doing, Ass Lad?
That was a grown up kiss. When you get back, we can do the rest.

 

by akirajim
10-04-02
Oh no, Ass Lad is dead and that slut I picked up on Christmas is fighting for her life against nine giant warbeasts!
My name is Sandy.
Tobor, you came to me!
RAAAAR, LET'S CORNHOLE THOSE BASTARDS!
Waitaminute... Where did Tobor go?
The Human Instrumentality Project has begun! Once I take you into me, all people will me united within my body. Like a big bicurious orgy or something.

 

by akirajim
10-04-02
Well I think it's fine, building jumbo clones
Taking a ride in a 'bot with a bone
But where will the children plaaaaaaaaay?
Alright, shut up already. You can go back to Earth.

 

by akirajim
10-04-02
You bitch!
Give me my five dollars back!
End of Triple DexX.
I mean it, dammit.
I feel sick. Where's the shitter in this place?

 

by akirajim
10-05-02
get back down in your deep dark hole darkie
oof
you cant keep the black man down forever punkrockskaboy
yes i can because you see
i am the racist king of the south!!!!!

 

by akirajim
10-05-02
BeNN_MaKK i am
i Am i aM
BeNN_MaKK i am
HeLP im bEing RAAAAAPED bY the natiOn OF LeBaNOn OUR neighbOrs To ThE NoRTH
SHUT UP, YOU AREN'T FUNNY!
Hatred only breeds more hatred my fine friends.

 

by akirajim
10-05-02
I'm thinking of starting a new series, dcomposed.
die
I'm thinking of starting a new series, boinky33.
meh
I'm thinking of starting a-
We don't care!

 

by akirajim
10-08-02
maybe
during in the duration of the last time in which I temporarily could no longer see the hot bright circle
sweaty hands coming in contact with touching molesting my person my body my shell
aheeheha grrrruff! ssnnfff
flesh lumped together got black fast
dared to; saturday?

 

by akirajim
10-08-02
That was weird.
Yeah.
Let's never drink again.
That was weird.
Yeah.

 

by akirajim
10-08-02
ObiJo?
No.
I can't think of a punchline.
Dicks! In dcomposed's mouth!

 

by akirajim
10-08-02
I think I'm going to ask Santa for a pony this year.
Would you settle for a look at my ass?
Huh?
Look at my ass!
Was that at all Dadaist?
No.

 

by akirajim
10-08-02
Make me laugh, bitch!
Make me cry!
Make me cum my pants!
Man, for five dollah a session you're asking way too much.

 

by akirajim
10-09-02
You, sir, are a racist.
What?! Why do you think I'm a racist? Fuck you!
Punkrockskaboy embraces all ethnicities, nationalities, disabilities, and sexualities.
Fuck you, dcomposed. If they're in drag when you jerk it then they count as ladies!

 

by akirajim
10-09-02
I'm a cowboy. In Afghanistan. I suspect this is going somewhere real funny...
I wonder what hilarious punchline awaits us in the third panel.
Douche bag!

 

by akirajim
10-10-02
So I says, "Well, them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravity by themselves!"
What the fuck are-
Hawhawhaw, so the mystery sniper was dcomposed!

 

by akirajim
10-11-02
Get over here, you stupid bitch!
Yeah?
Clango's hungry. Make me a ham sandwich.
Make it yourself, douche bag!
I love you.

 

by akirajim
10-11-02
Dammit, Stevenopolis! You've been late every day since you landed that promotion!
But, sir...
Can you really expect me to start my day WITHOUT beating off in the executive washroom?
What the hell is wrong with you?!

 

by akirajim
10-11-02
So I lost my job.
Yeah.
And now I'm wandering the streets in abject poverty.
Yeah, but things could be worse...
How could things be worse?
I could be black!
This comic is not endorsed by the NAACP.

 

by akirajim
10-11-02
I suppose now that I live in abject poverty I should get used to eating grubby shit beetles.
Wait!
Why?
Please don't eat me! If you spare my life, I'll grant you three wishes.
Okay. My first wish is-
Wait!

 

by akirajim
10-11-02
Why?
I have to sodomize you first!
Wait!
Why?
I've heard this joke.
Argh!

 

by akirajim
10-11-02
I'm home, you dumb cunt!
Coming, fucktard!
My boss fired me today, pumpkin tits.
Did you use your teeth?
Eh?
When you were sucking his cock. Your boss doesn't like that.

 

by akirajim
10-16-02
We're entering some strong winds...
...so you might feel a little turbulence.
Nothing to worry about.
BULLSHIT!

Showing page 2.

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