All comics by allenhenderson

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by allenhenderson
2-26-01
Robot butler, as advanced as you're supposed to be, if you can't even make me a drink then I'm going to have to shut you down
...Wait, you're not in love with me, are you?

 

by allenhenderson
2-26-01
Ha ha, just kidding. Even though I know you're a very advanced robot butler, I know you're not in love with me
Well, if you can't make me a drink, at least go fold my underwear

 

by allenhenderson
2-26-01
Meanwhile...
Ok super-advanced robot, I had you created for only one purpose
To give me lovin'!
May I serve you a drink?
Sure!

 

by allenhenderson
2-26-01
Every time I ask my new robot butler to make me a drink, it tells me it loves me
And every time I ask MY new robot for lovin', it just tries to serve me a drink
Wait a minute! I've got an idea!
Will you serve me a drink?

 

by allenhenderson
2-26-01

 

by allenhenderson
2-26-01
Thanks for the ball dad, come on let's play. Can you teach me to throw?
Not today. I got a lot to do
That's ok
I'm gonna be like him

 

by allenhenderson
2-26-01
Nothing like a BIG FAT ELEPHANT to represent a BIG FAT TAX CUT
You are such a homo
(Note to reader: The clown is supposed to be the President)
Oh no, the police. Oh wait, I'm the PRESIDENT! I can get away with anything
I am going to Earth to run for high office because all candidates are as impersonal as I!

 

by allenhenderson
2-26-01
Whatcha lookin' at?
Airplanes.

 

by allenhenderson
2-26-01
I'm so sad.
Wiggity-wiggity-wiggity!
I don't know why.
Rama lama ding-dong!
I've been like this my whole life.
Wabaloo!

 

by allenhenderson
2-28-01
I smoked some pot!
Me too!

 

by allenhenderson
2-28-01
I found some more pot!
Yay!

 

by allenhenderson
2-28-01
I wish I had your metabolism
Why is it when all my friends put me in their comics I look like this?
And your sweet supple ass
And why is Rick checking out my sweet ass?

 

by allenhenderson
2-28-01
I think that guy hit me head-on on purpose
Hee hee hee

 

by allenhenderson
2-28-01
Hi Rick! It's me, Allen! I heard you were having problems working on your script, so I'm here to help!
Once upon a time there was a monkey...
There is no monkey cartoon character, so I'll be the monkey
Shit, never mind, that really messes me up
Please acknowledge me

 

by allenhenderson
2-28-01
I know, you folks at home can help Rick with his script! Just email RICK WARD every script idea that pops into your head!
That's rick@email.unc.edu
Did I mention I've had my script done for a while?
Is that why you're up late looking at porn?
He's going to beat me now

 

by allenhenderson
3-01-01
Ok Rick, here's a script idea for ya. First, start with monkeys
So many monkeys
The end!
Yay!

 

by allenhenderson
3-01-01
I just had a thought-
If Rick is up late desperately trying to finish his script these cartoons might not so much make him laugh as fill him with rage
I bet Shelley hasn't finished her script yet either
Hee hee!

 

by allenhenderson
3-01-01
Wouldn't it be fitting that after you made fun of Rick and Shelley for not having finished their scripts yet that your printer would jam and your computer would crash at the last minute?
But my script is already printed out and in my backpack
My fireproof backpack.

 

by allenhenderson
3-01-01
I'm just jesting Shelley and Rick because of my insomnia
Don't forget your cyclothymic schizoid personality disorder!
The time of harvest begins
And you're going bald and gray prematurely too

 

by allenhenderson
3-01-01
Hey look, Matt's up at the same time I am making comics
Hi Matt!
Kind of creepy, isn't it?
Booga booga!
I know where he lives
Me too

 

by allenhenderson
3-01-01
Oh boy, I love riding around on my magic ostrich
I hope this isn't a TALKING magic ostrich
I hate it how he always sticks his finger in my butt

 

by allenhenderson
3-02-01
I love my magic elephant so much
I hope this isn't a TALKING magic elephant
Why is he dropping his pants?

 

by allenhenderson
3-02-01
What's up dude
Yo yo
Hey, by chance do you know this guy named Matt Burdorff?
Do I? The stories I could tell
Your trunk does kind of smell funny

 

by allenhenderson
3-02-01
You want to take a hit out of my bowl that looks like a hammer?
Are you just going to hit me over the head again and take my money?
Probably your watch too
Hey get back here

 

by allenhenderson
3-02-01
Tell your wife you love....Hair?
Did you say hair?
I know you can still hear me, I can see your eyes moving around

 

by allenhenderson
3-02-01
We're in the desert!
Yay!
Now we're in the ocean!
Oh no!
Now we're in Watership Down
I'm a bunny!

 

by allenhenderson
3-02-01
Happy dancing can't be beat. Happy dancing, watch my feet
Happy dancing down the street, happy dancing can't be beat
Happy dancing on the floor, happy dancing can't dance no more!
I'm still good

 

by allenhenderson
3-02-01
Rock fight!
Oh please no!
I thought you liked my rock fights
Dear god no

 

by allenhenderson
3-02-01
Heads up! Frisbee!
Moh!

 

by allenhenderson
3-02-01
I ran out of underwear, so I'm not wearing any today!
That's really filthy
I prefer to think of it as "sexy"
Go do your damn laundry
No.

 

by allenhenderson
3-02-01
Doopy doopy doo...
!
For some weird reason, I really want to attack this city

 

by allenhenderson
3-02-01
My friend Allyson likes cheese
I like cheese
Today I passed two people in the dining hall who were talking about the finer points of cheese
..but heating up cheese really brings out the flavor..
This is true.
You really should have been there
I was in spirit

 

by allenhenderson
3-02-01
Once I was wearing a shirt that had a NYC police seal on it. A lady working in the dining hall liked it
I'd like some food please
NYPD? Did you get that shirt in the force?
Actually I think I got it at the LaGuardia airport
Well, you don't really look like you'd be in the police. Though I guess you never know what they look like
I like that show "NYPD Blue"

 

by allenhenderson
3-02-01
I'm a lonlely pink donkey on the moon; I'm the only pink donkey on the moon; So lonely got to sing this lonely donkey tune...
I'm the only pink donkey on the moon!
Could you hold it down? We're trying to have a dinner party over here
I'll be damned..more pink donkeys

 

by allenhenderson
3-02-01
My apartment-mate over the summer was really absorbed in American pop culture even though he often suggested that his British-Indian culture was superior to our way of life
Oh goodie you have a tellie!
Do you watch Friends? Do you watch Dawson's Creek? Do you watch MTV? In my country, we use pounds, not dollars!
When I close my door, that means I don't want to talk to you
But it's always closed

 

by allenhenderson
3-04-01
Very few schizophrenics are actually violent
But today is your lucky day

 

by allenhenderson
3-05-01
Hi, my name is David Sontag
And you might know me as Sydney Pollack
I like to think of myself as the poor man's Woody Allen
And I fancy myself as the poor man's Stanley Kubrick
I hope this sort of humor isn't too exclusive
I like monkeys

 

by allenhenderson
12-23-01
Allen at work
Must remain perfectly still...
Hand ready to get on the mouse and act like I'm doing something the second someone walks by...
But not a moment earlier...

 

by allenhenderson
12-23-01
Allen at work
Wonder if they caught Osama.
>http://www.cnn.com
Wonder if I'll end up here one day.
>http://www.rotten.com
I wonder if my boss knows how to check the Internet history.
>Hello Neo.

 

by allenhenderson
12-23-01
Allen at work
Uh oh someone's walking by...
>asdlfjhjdsfhkjlhfkjlh
Whew.
>Bad command or file name.

 

by allenhenderson
12-23-01
Allen at work
>format c:
Are your sure? (Y/N):
And now to build the suspense.

 

by allenhenderson
12-23-01
Allen at work
Hey Allen hard at work I see. What is that?
Well, I've shelled into DOS from Windows.
Great! Keep up the good work!
c:\>del*.*

 

by allenhenderson
12-23-01
Sure is great to be home from work.
And the pointless drudgery of sitting at a computer terminal all day.
I know this looks a lot like me at work but now I'm not wearing pants.
And I'm a magic talking computer.

 

by allenhenderson
12-23-01
>Hello User [AllenisNeat-O]! Welcome to our live chat with Stephen Hawking.
AllenisNeat-O> Yo yo.
Dr. Hking> Wiggity wiggity.

 

by allenhenderson
6-16-02
So I got this email explaining that I should post some more cartoons.
I really have been rather busy.
Not busy enough to not jerk off three or four times in a day though.
I really need to remember to start closing my blinds.

 

by allenhenderson
6-16-02
So I'm sad all the time and I don't know why.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
See and that's just not helping.

 

by allenhenderson
6-16-02
I'll be with you in a second; I'm trying to figure out my cell phone bill.

 

by allenhenderson
6-16-02
So I'm not telling anymore jokes until the waitress brings me a damn gin and tonic.

 

by allenhenderson
6-16-02
So I do this great impression of a guy in a trashcan.
CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP
I'll be here all week.

 

by allenhenderson
6-16-02
I'm writing you this ticket because you think you're cool when in fact you are not.
I know.

Showing page 2.

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