All comics by boloboffin

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by boloboffin
7-06-06
Cog.
Neat!
Toe.
Err...
Goo.
Sum.

 

by boloboffin
7-09-06
Oh, God, I'm so alone. It hurts so much.
Hey, how's it going?
Eu, can his eyes get any closer together - and that haircut?! Twisted Sister called and wanted the mousse back...
Oh, God, I'm so alone. It hurts so much.

 

Yes, my name IS Ralph. Call me sometime...
by boloboffin, 7-10-06

 

by boloboffin
7-10-06
If your actions are good, then you are a good person.
If your motives are pure, then you are a good person.
Slow-roasting with my secret blend of herbs - the only way to please!

 

by boloboffin
7-13-06
One day at Armageddon...
So I says, "Them religious states ain't gonna generate peace all by themselves!"
Ha, ha!
What the fuck were we talking about?

 

by boloboffin
7-14-06
Ah, the joy of good Christian people!
Isn't it time to get excited?
I too am soooo excited!! I get goose bumps, literally, when I watch what's going on in the M.E.!!
In Boston, a tunnel ceiling collapsed on a car and killed a woman of faith, and we had the most terrifying storms I have ever seen here!!
For the first time in my Christian walk, I have no doubts that the day of the Lords appearing is upon us.
http://www.rr-bb.com/showthread.php?t=264610
My brother has witnessed to some of his friends, "When the rapture happens, go to my house and read everything I have in this folder."
They roll their eyes, but............I'll bet they run to find that folder when the rapture happens!

 
by boloboffin, 7-15-06

 

by boloboffin
7-17-06
Any series with more than five strips will be disqualified.
Any series with five or less won't be disqualified because of having too many strips.
However, being unfunny will disqualify even a series with only one strip in it.
Umm, to be a "series", there needs to be at least two.
Look, you're a non-corporeal character, so stop correcting my logic.
Bet you wish you could go back in time and stop me from recording you choking on my non-corporeal dick, asswipe.

 

by boloboffin
7-18-06
A few weeks ago, the noob spent his prom day surfing the net...
Wow, cool comic website! Once summer vacation hits, I'll be here 24/7!
A few weeks later, Cthulhu checks out his favorite website...
What the fuck is all this shit clogging up Stripcreator? Lucky I'm a GOO...
A few weeks earlier and seconds later...
Wow, cool comic website!

 

by boloboffin
7-26-06
Apparently, my decision in the last contest was unpopular.
I cannot help where I find the funny. Also I do not drink vodka martinis.
Sapphire or nothing for me (hic!).

 

by boloboffin
7-26-06
mie namE i crabbi, i entrr Cont3st
AIEEE, mie no win Cont3st, mie cry
mie MADDD, mie writte meany c@mi$
That'll show him!

 

by boloboffin
8-01-06
Dang, this water's cold!
Deep, too.
Yes, that's just the Swingblade joke.
How deep?
First time I ever got half my cock into anything!

 

by boloboffin
8-05-06
They've been slipping expresso into my coffee at the donut shop again.
I've beaten three drunk drivers to death already!
There's another one!

 

by boloboffin
8-08-06
Hi, welcome to LotaLatte, what can I get started for you?
I'd like a [unintelliglible].
I'm sorry, what was that?
[even softer unintelligible speech]

 

by boloboffin
8-08-06
Ma'am, I can't understand what you're saying.
[...]
Pet peeve no. 3 - People who speak softer when you ask them to repeat what they just said.
ARE YOU GONNA GET ME MY COFFEE?

 

by boloboffin
8-08-06
Welcome to McRapey's, can I take your order?
Do you still have the same prize in the McRapey Statuey Meal as last week?
Hey, boss, we still got the same prize in the Statuey Meals as last week?
RARRRR!!!! PRIZE SAME EVERY WEEK, GIANT RED ROBOT SCHLONG UP ASS!!! YOU NEED RETRAIN???
Yeah, kid. Same prize.
Great! Can I get one Statuey Meal delivered to my sister's room? The bitch stole my bicycle.

 

by boloboffin
8-08-06
Wail with fear, you tiny fool, for I am the FPD Killer!!!!
I'm going to Filet your carcass, Poach it in an impeteous pinot, and Devour the meat by the pale moonlight!!
Aw, fuck it. It beats getting kicked in the nuts all the time.

 

by boloboffin
8-08-06
There, Mr. Meduso! I've chewed your kibble into a fine meal. I hope that satisfies your finicky tastes...
Still too lumpy. And were you smacking on minty gum before you predigested my food? Eu.
Bolo, dude, you are down with a serious case of FPD.
Aw, shit, you're right. Cats! There's no pleasing the ingrates. They can be so sweet, and then turn sour in a flash...wait a minute...
Sweet and Sour Meduso...now this is more like it.
Dude, don't chew my food.

 

by boloboffin
8-08-06
Hi, welcome to LotaLatte, what can I get started for you?
Okay, it's a simple drink, but I'm kind of fussy. I want an americano, but you have to take care not to touch the mouth of the cup.
Pick up two cups, or take extreme care with one, and then pick up two lids, or maybe it's better if you let me reach over and get my own lid.
***sniffle***
AHHHHHHHH!!!!

 

by boloboffin
8-09-06
Dun. Dun-du-du-dun! Dun-du-du-dun! Dun-du...
You gotta keep 'em separated.
Retarded in here! Let's get retarded in here! Let's get re - let's get re - let's - let's -
Who let the dogs out?
Making me, making me free, it's making me, making me free, it's making me, making me free...
I told you not to touch it.

 

by boloboffin
8-12-06
I'm carrying Anderson Cooper's baby.
Don't call me "baby". Do you mean your name is carrying Anderson Cooper s.
No. I am carrying the child of Anderson Cooper in my body.
Hi, carrying the child of Anderson Cooper in my body!
Hoo boy.
Can you tell me any gossip?

 

by boloboffin
8-12-06
Ah, Jesus. I'm 41 years old, and the only job I can find is wearing a damn bunny costume while taking burger orders.
I have no health insurance, I live with my ass-aching mom, and my only entertainment is Internet porn.
Could my life get any worse?
Ummm, somebody seems to have missed the toilet in the ladies' room.

 

by boloboffin
8-14-06
PC singing to a calypso rhythm
"So I said goodbye to my User ~ And I gave my reason: ~
~That a really good adventure ~ Is a form of treason."
Originally by NetNation: 1-29-03
"If you wish to study my User's cartoon ~ Just remove the skin of a toy balloon."
That's it! I'm selling you off for smart-bomb parts.

 

by boloboffin
8-14-06
Later, at a Karaoke bar...
DON' CRY OUT LOOOOOOOUD!!! ***hic*** Jus' keep it inshide! Learn howda hide your FEELins...
THERE you are. I was worried sick.
I coudent be part'a your treashonous shmart-bomb schemesh, ***hic*** sho I ran'way. How'd ya find me?
This is the closest karaoke bar to our house, Singing PC.

 

by boloboffin
8-14-06
Back at the house...
Why don't you go on back inside, Singing PC? I, uh... I've got something to do in the garage.
Okay, Timmy. (Gosh, he's acting weird...)
Is it really true? Are you actually a SINGING PC????
HHEEEEELLLLLLP....

 

by boloboffin
8-14-06
Later, in the closest desert to Timmy's house...
...me, I think I'm falling - in love with youuuuuu...
That's right, Singing PC! Sing to me while Timmy builds his smart bomb and blows up the Jews!
The Jews? But...Timmy loves the Jews. Some of his best friends are Jews....
This cannot be! You lie, Singing Dog of a PC!
Oh, yeah? Here's a song Timmy taught me: Goyim, goyim - Think over what you do - Du fangst shoyn on? Why don't you serve a Jew?
That Bastard! We'll kill him!

 

by boloboffin
8-15-06
Later, a calypso beat fills the air...
...so they dropped me off here at San Lorenzo. Funny, Timmy was always working on Ice 9, not a smart bomb.
Ooo, that stuff turns all water into a solid at room tempurature, right? Hope that doesn't fall into the wrong hands...
Oops. Well, at least I'm made of silicon...
Boom-chicka-boom-chicka- boomachicka-boom-boom...
Tiger got to hunt, Bird got to fly; Man got to sit and wonder, "Why, why, why?" ~ Tiger got to sleep, Bird got to land; Man got to tell himself he understand. Everybody!

 

by boloboffin
8-16-06
tag, you're it!
i called no tagsies
give me all the money in the register!
i called no robsies
with the apocalypse approaching, we need to move the third reich into your flamepit
i called no nazis

 

by boloboffin
8-16-06
yay, i got my last five!
i called no yatzees
isn't it time to move on to the nineteenth dynasty?
i called no rameses
i'll warn you: i'm uncut
i called no cockcheese

 

by boloboffin
8-21-06
Oh, yeah. oh oh oh oh oh oh. dirty girl. you want it, don't you! oh yeah. oh oh oh oh oh migod oh oh oh oh
slutty slut slut slut oh yeah oh. oh. oh. take it...
I see you.
GAHHHH!
Now go invade Iraq.

 

by boloboffin
8-23-06
You know, Daddy hasn't gotten any in a while...
Milkbones?

 

by boloboffin
8-27-06
Demoted to "dwarf planet." How embarrassing...
Hey, Neptune dropped a quarter under his moon, and he was wondering if you could get it while you were down there...

 

by boloboffin
8-27-06
Demoted to "dwarf planet." How embarrassing...
I'm sorry. You must be this tall to enter Neptune's orbit as a real planet. HA-HA!
Jesus. Neptune has boundary issues and now I'm lumped in with baby asteriods like Ceres...
Hey, I used to be a planet too, asshole.

 

by boloboffin
8-29-06
***RINGGGGG***
Ugh. All right, all right, I'm getting up.
Wow, I musta hit Snooze like a billion and a half times...
No, only a hundred seventeen million, three hundred five thousand, six hundred times.
Okay....

 

by boloboffin
8-31-06
Faith. Paul called it the evidence of things unseen.
So if my lover screws around on me, and I never find out about it, it never happened!
Wait. That can't be right...

 

by boloboffin
8-31-06
Maybe a human would disappoint us, sure.
But if I dedicate my life to God, and completely believe in God's existence, God would never be such a punk as to not exist!
I mean, come on...

 

by boloboffin
8-31-06
A human being doesn't need me to believe in them to step up and punch me in the face.
Yet for thousands of years people have lived and died believing in a God that never, ever, stepped up and punched anybody.
That is, if you don't count the Spanish Armada...

 

by boloboffin
8-31-06
And doesn't it seem arrogant to think that God arranges things for individual people?
Does God really care more about some football player making a great play than stopping war all over the planet?
Of course, winning the lottery's more tangible than world peace, especially to people thousands of miles from a war zone.

 

by boloboffin
8-31-06
World peace. Now there's something to hope for.
And winning the lottery? That's something devoutly to be wished!
Ah, shit. I hate it when I get my seventeenth century texts mixed up.

 

by boloboffin
8-31-06
With world peace, if you trust in it, you work for it, you try to get the word out, you incorporate the idea into your life...
But believing in a lottery win? You just buy a couple of tickets a week.
Neither are likely to pay out in the end. But the ticket route gives me a lot of free time to fill...

 

by boloboffin
8-31-06
I guess it comes down to ideals. Truth, beauty, love.
I want to allow those ideals as much freedom as possible, and not find a way to draw lines around them and keep them from other people.
Because whenever you build a heaven, you build a hell.

 

by boloboffin
8-31-06
And why would you build a castle around things like truth and beauty?
Isn't that admitting the inherent weakness of those ideas? That they must be protected? That evil is stronger than good?
Isn't your God tough enough?

 

by boloboffin
8-31-06
I just can't believe in a God that would torture people forever for being on the wrong side of what comes down to a lucky guess.
Oh, and Jared? That guy wanted you to reject Christ so he could stop dreaming of your sweet, sweet loving. Been there.

 

by boloboffin
9-02-06
...carry the 2... divide by six... Holy shit! I've been snoozing for over 2000 years??
Yeah. I kept wanting to wake you up, but everybody said God knows best...
So, um, that Hebrew chick is out of the picture, right?
Yeah! HA! She's been gone quite a while, but don't worry, we've managed to find an substitute on short notice...
Mother of God!
Oh, you can call me Mary.

 

by boloboffin
9-02-06
So are you ready to get inside me?

 

by boloboffin
9-02-06
GET REAL!
Jeez, look at his qualifications! From a lower-class family, despised, afflicted, yada yada, and a virgin!
Well, technically, not a virgin, but he can't get pregnant! We're taking a ride on the Miracle A-Train, baby!

 

by boloboffin
9-02-06
Okay... Spankling. Just remember: in nine months, you have to be in Bethlehem. Let's try to stick with the script as much as possible.
Script? Do I have lines?
Not really. Santa's got some draft copies of the Gospels that have to be updated. Check those out.
Okay, but the last book I read was Sling Slave Quarterly, and that was just for pointers...
OoooooOOOO! Pennsylvania, Here I Come!

 

Me? Three and a half years, I think.
by boloboffin, 9-02-06

 

by boloboffin
9-03-06
Whew! I've been walking for nine months and I'm almost there...
Oh, God, I hope he doesn't follow me in...
One little drink couldn't hurt...

 

by boloboffin
9-03-06
Sooooooo. after Puppetry of the Penis dumped me in Phoenix (those jealous bitches), I met this cute angel...ooooOOOOO!
***Hallelujah***
BEHOLD! I am your Messiah! Aw, shit....
Hey! I'm new in town. Know where to get a good nut?

Showing page 2.

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