All comics by crackpanther

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Never a fan of fairy tales, Death had waited a long time for this day...
Now where is that pedophile-ass wolf at?
by crackpanther, 3-29-07

 

First day of class at Stripcreator Mutant Academy -
I can teleport.
Lewlawzl!
by crackpanther, 3-29-07

 

by crackpanther
5-08-07
Yum-yum! Boy, that sure was good Kool-Aid I got from those kids with the sidewalk Kool-Aid stand, and---URRKKK!!! BRAINS!!! BRAAAAIIINNSSS!!!
OH MY GOD!!! THE KOOL-AID THOSE CHILDREN ARE SELLING IS TURNING EVERYONE WHO DRANK IT INTO FLESH-EATING ZOMBIES!!!
Remember your training, Little Ones...
!!!
!!!
No refunds.
Sign on the wall says so.

 

by crackpanther
5-16-07
The recruiter will see you in just a moment. And I'm sorry, but there's no smoking in this building.
That's discrimination!
I'm quite sure I don't know what you're talking about.

 

by crackpanther
5-16-07
So what were you telling me on the phone? Some shit about how the last three chicks you hooked up with had the same name?
Yeah it's weird, bro. Caugh, cough, coof, some shit like that.
I'm thinking maybe it's Malaysian?
Anywho...

 

by crackpanther
5-16-07
And contact information, beginning with your last name?
Strike, Lucky. Yours?
InACan, PrinceAlbert.
Kind of dikey, no?

 

by crackpanther
5-17-07
...so I was all 'That's IT! I'm going 40 days without jerkin' my yerkin. Starting NOW!!!'
Good talk. So I'll catch you in the Sexual Harassment Seminar later?
What room is it in?
A-210.
Right.

 

I just don't see why you won't give me that parachute if you're not going to need it.
Crap. Did he say to take The Dumb One or The Really Really Dumb One?
by crackpanther, 5-17-07

 

by crackpanther
5-17-07
Haha you got straight up EMBROILED in my country!
Dude it suuuuucked. What you been doing down here anyways?
You know - fuckin hoes, rollin' blunts, listening to CDs
Cool, cool. Which CDs?
SEE DESE NUTS!!!
That's pretty 1994, not gonna lie.

 

by crackpanther
5-17-07
Mr. President, how do you plan to get out of Iraq?
Heh heh. I'm not in Iraq. I'm in Pittsburg.
Washington DC.
Right.
Next question?

 
by crackpanther, 5-22-07

 

by crackpanther
5-24-07
You must be Ted
Aarrrrrrrr...
...we going to get on with this interview or what!
You got me!!

 

And for live coverage of the Chinese New Years parade we go to our own Ming Xiao Ping. Ming?
Me janitor!
by crackpanther, 5-24-07

 

by crackpanther
5-24-07
JERRY YOU SONOFABITCH IF YOU DON'T SWITCH BACK TO CAMERA 2 THIS INSTANT I'M GOING TO FEED YOU YOUR RIGHT TESTICLE ON RYE!!!
And welcome back. Today we'll be exploring the wonderful world of brie.

 

Acupuncture clinic?
Two doors down. This is marriage counseling.
by crackpanther, 7-30-07

 

Destroy them!
This is for my tail!!!
by crackpanther, 9-13-07

 

It wasn't until Mad Cow Disease began affecting sheep that the perverts really noticed
Time for some fistin - OW!
...destroy them...
by crackpanther, 9-14-07

 

by crackpanther
10-11-07
I could really use a handjob.
Ho ho ho!!
I could really use a handjob.
You're not a little boy! You're at least 40!
I could really use a hand job.
You know very well that Deaf Santa can't hear! Now why did you follow him into this alley?

 

by crackpanther
12-09-07
Outside the entrance to Bob Jones University...
Tell me more about this structure, strange humanoid.
This wall? Oh, it was built back in 122 by the Roman emperor Hadrian.
But I don't guess a nigger would know that, would he?
Now you just run along and don't let me catch you here after dark, nigger.

 

by crackpanther
7-28-08
We have got to get him in to see Father Pascarelli.
Yeah, I just really feel like it's now or never.

 

by crackpanther
8-01-11
So the fucking Boy Scout says, "How's it hanging?" and I'm all, "A little to the left."
HAH stupid Scout!
And them I'm all like, "Your OTHER left! What are they teaching you kids these days, anyways?!"
Stupid Scoutmasters!

 

by crackpanther
8-02-11
So there I am , fucking RAMMING this ki-
Haha I LOVE that eipsode!
Episode? What?
Weren't you talking about...sorry...brain cramp. Ok, so you were ramming this kid...?

 

by crackpanther
8-06-11
So this gook kid is all, "Ow! Ow! PuhREASE ret me go!"
Dude I'm starved. Y'all down for some food?
FORTUNE PALACE!!
FORTUNE PALACE!!

 

by crackpanther
8-08-11
STROKE! STROKE!
STROKE! STROKE!
I BE STROKING LEEWARD TO THE WENCH I LOVE BEST!
Aye, Aye, Catain CARRRRter.

 

by crackpanther
9-10-16
♫♫ I don't care if it rains or feezes ♫♫
♫♫ Long as I got my Plastic Jesus ♫♫
♫♫ something something galaxy destroyer ♫♫

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