All comics by finn34

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by finn34
9-01-05
Why don't the Ramones release any new material?
Dude, they're all dead.
So what? Tupac releases a new album every 2 weeks!

 

by finn34
9-01-05
I'd love to drink your bath water, baby...
eww..
I pee in there!

 

by finn34
9-01-05
This is an advertisement .... A-OK We're the Sweetshop Avengerz!
So make the sweet adjustment .... A-OK We're the Sweetshop Avengerz!
Man, BIS are what a suger coma must sound like.

 

I HAVE EVERY VERSION OF WINDOWS, EVER!!
by finn34, 9-02-05

 

I INVENTED BROCCOLI!!
by finn34, 9-02-05

 

YOU SMELL LIKE FOOD!!
by finn34, 9-02-05

 

SADNESS IS FOR POOR PEOPLE!!
by finn34, 9-02-05

 

by finn34
9-04-05
HEY MACARENA!
YO TENGO UN TOSTADO Y UN CERVEZA MACARENA! HEY MARGARITA! AI'IGHT!
Dude. I helps if you know the words. Or some Spanish.

 

by finn34
9-04-05
Man, people in casinos are fucking DEAF.
If I have to repeat myself once or twice, fine.
But once you make me repeat myself four times, someone's going to jail. And chances are good it's going to be me.

 

OLIVE GARDEN IS PEOPLE!!! IT'S PEOPLE!!!
by finn34, 9-04-05

 

by finn34
9-05-05
God that movie sucked.
Yeah. It sucked hard.
I wonder how the hell this got made...?
Months Earlier...
Drunk hobo, you are just the person to direct "3 Fast 3 Furious : Speed Drive"
I want points, merchandising rights and a bathtub full of vodka. Russian vodka.

 

by finn34
9-05-05
I've been trying to live by a new philosophy.
Which one?
"Don't dream it, be it"
Sounds interesting. How's it going?
Not very well. Lindsay Lohan refuses to answer my calls, and it turns out that Clifford the Big Red Dog doesn't do anything too risque.
That's a damned shame...

 

by finn34
9-05-05
On a trip to Ireland...
Woah. I seem to have suffered a head injury....
I might be in need of immediate medical attention...
Ow.
Aren't you going to order something?

 

by finn34
9-05-05
Your mom's a slut.
I know. Shut up.
She even let ME hit it.
Stop reminding me.
In fact, I'm over at your house, doing your mom right now. This is a pre-recorded hologram.
I was wondering why you hadn't ordered yet.

 

by finn34
9-05-05
Do you remember the last year of high school? That last summer we spent together?
Yeah. Those were the days.
We stayed out late, ate bad food, got drunk and stoned...
We had that one night where we fed each other chocolate and fondled each other's butts...
You told me we'd never speak of that again!
... Yes, those were the days...

 

by finn34
9-05-05
One time I ROFLed too hard and I wet myself.
With poop.

 

by finn34
9-05-05
I can't decide if porn is degrading to women...
... or if it empowers them by making them the stars...
... or if it's just plain hot.
I vote for hot.

 

by finn34
9-05-05
I saw a young woman bring an infant into the casino the other day.
Jesus!
I know, it's like the Momma was saying, "Here's where you're going to be working in 15 years!"
Yeah, that, or maybe she's getting the baby ready for a bright future in the adult entertainment industry.

 

by finn34
9-05-05
Last week, I went to this Pagan festival in the Park.
Yeah? How was it?
It smelled like dirty hippies and hemp, if that's what you're asking...

 

by finn34
9-05-05
Hey baby, you wanna get freaky?
Sorry, I'm on my period.
Or as I call it, "Vietnam of the crotch."

 

I'M GOING TO POOP BLOOD TONIGHT!!
by finn34, 9-05-05

 

by finn34
9-05-05
How did you get fired from your last job?
I got canned for eating a brownie on duty.
That seems a bit harsh. Where were you working?
Girl Scouts Of America.
How did I not see that one coming?

 

by finn34
9-05-05
Karaoke Night!
Here I am! Rock you like a hurricane!
HAHA!
You are sick.

 

Katrina and the Waves might want to consider a name change...
by finn34, 9-05-05

 

by finn34
9-05-05
You're never going to guess what I did today.
You set fire to my computer.
HE HAS THE GIFT!!

 

by finn34
9-06-05
It's Crystal's birthday in 2 days...
I know!
You're never gonna guess what I got her this year.
A bottle of Sake and an 8-inch double-headed dildo?
No. That was last year.

 

by finn34
9-06-05
Woah. That movie rocked.
Yeah. It was great.
I mean, I can't tell if it was the peyote or the cocaine, but, damn...
Wait a minute. This isn't a movie theater...
Run for your life!

 

by finn34
9-06-05
Excuse me, sir. What time does the one o'clock bus leave?
What the fuck are you talking about?

 

by finn34
9-06-05
What time does the buffet open?
7 A.M.
7 A.M.?
Yes, sir. 7 A.M.
7 A.M. tomorrow?
Somebody call the cops, I'm going to beat this man to death.

 

by finn34
9-06-05
"Urine" was great.
Take that however you want.

 

by finn34
9-06-05
This one time, I got a purple dildo suction-cupped to my forehead.
I bet you looked like one sexy unicorn!

 

by finn34
9-08-05
so, you're the blind date my friends set me up with.
I THINK I HAVE A YEAST INFECTION!!!!!!
let's start over.

 

by finn34
9-08-05
Apparently, your sister is the new spokesmodel for HOTANALSLUTS.com
Well, that's how I paid MY way through college.

 

by finn34
9-08-05
Beavers are delicious.
Their dams, on the other hand, are not.

 

by finn34
9-08-05
SHITCOCK!
Dude, what does that even mean?
It's what you get when you do anal.

 

by finn34
9-08-05
We've been over this : Urinating on your major appliances is just my way of establishing dominance.

 

Oh hell no! The last time I got in the car, I woke up without nuts!
by finn34, 9-08-05

 

by finn34
9-09-05
Last night there was blood in my piss.
Like, lots of it.
Maybe you weren't even peeing. You could've just been bleeding from your dick.
That's a possibility, sure.

 

by finn34
9-09-05
I think Frank Zappa was really underappreciated.
Think about it : Great songs, awesome back-up band...
Dick jokes...
Gotta love dick jokes.

 

by finn34
9-09-05
I love Ween
Man, fuck Ween.
Since when was it funny to call a song "Spinal Meningitis (Got Me Down)"?
Since always.

 

Man, fuck Invisible Girl. I'm hoping in the next movie it'll be Invisible Clothes.
by finn34, 9-09-05

 

by finn34
9-09-05
God I love your pussy!
I could play with it ALL NIGHT!
Way to go, dude!
mew.
Yes! You are the cutest kitty, yes you are!

 

by finn34
9-09-05
When Meatloaf sings that he would do "Anything for love" but he "won't do that"... What do you think he means?
I think he's saying he won't betray her trust or compromise his feelings.
Huh. 'Cause I always thought it was about fisting.

 

by finn34
9-09-05
.... So then I says, "Those rotor turbines aren't going to generate gravitons all by themselves!"
HAHA!
Dude. What the fuck am I talking about?

 

by finn34
9-09-05
... So then I said "Those rotator turbines aren't going to generate gravitons all by themselves!"
HAHA!
Pass me the bag. Mine's not kicking in yet.

 

by finn34
9-09-05
How much are your cigarettes?
$6 US plus tax. It comes to $6.39.
How do you sleep at night?
Very well.
On a golden pillow filled with money.

 

by finn34
9-09-05
She said she was 18, I swear to God!

 

by finn34
9-09-05
I can't believe you!
How many times can I say it?
It was dark and you look like your sister from behind.

 

by finn34
9-12-05
In Brad's secret lair...
rachelmari : HAHA! Put your boner away, Assclown!
HCRoyall : STFU, N00b!
Man, I could watch this all day.

 

by finn34
9-12-05
We have the weirdest goddamned friends.

Showing page 2.

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