All comics by lukket

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by lukket
8-24-03
That was a really bad virus.
Yeah. A lot of my friends got it too.
Well. At least I didn't get the...
careful now
... blue screen of death. Oh Damn.
Who called for me?

 

by lukket
8-25-03
Hi Mortimer
Duck
Yeah, that's good, now I wanted to tell you something.
Duck!
You annoy me. Hey!
I told you to duck but you didn't listen to me.

 

by lukket
8-25-03
Hi, you make me horny.
Hey, I didn't make you horny. Your mother did.
Do you insinuate that I have an Oedipus complex?
No not at all... I was just stating the facts.
Don't bullshit me!
I don't bullshit you, if anyone should ... oh. Forget it.

 

by lukket
8-25-03
Once upon a time there was this awesome guy who decided to steal another guy's idea and like totally ruin it. But he lacked imagination, so he went out to kill a bum 'cause that shit gives inspiration
But the bum was like "Don't waste me. I don't deserve to die", and this awesome guy was so awesome so he just killed the man and took his inspiration.
It looks just like a spleen but it has attitude, so it tried to kill the awesome guy. But he stapled it to a pigeon and saw it bleed to death very slowly.
That was like the best thing that ever happened to him. But then along came the PETA to protest, so he like told them to piss off, and to make sure they understood, he tore off their legs.
And they were like "Hey we needed our legs. Now we can't leave.", so he got mad and killed them. For that he was made president of a small African country.
(I had to kill retard to do this comic. I used the blood to write it with. If he had survived, I would probably thank him for the inspiration)

 

by lukket
8-25-03
Uhm... hello
Hi. What can I do for you?
I have a question for you. But I don't know if I dare ask you.
Just ask it.
Was the "Planet of the apes" just a documentary?
No, but I get that a lot.

 

by lukket
8-25-03
ding dong
This is going to be awkward.
Who are you supposed to be?
I am the grim reaper.
But there shall be only one!
I'm awfully sorry. But it's my job to be sure that there will be only one.

 

by lukket
8-25-03
The new grim reaper on his first job...
I'm the grim reaper. I'm supposed to be immortal.
Yeah. But you aren't.
Why wasn't I given notice?
We would rather tell you in person.
You do realize that you are one of the only persons you don't prefer to meet in person.
My first assignment and I already think the job sucks.

 

by lukket
8-25-03
The new grim reaper's first day at the new job.
I know from my work that this won't save me, but please spare me my life from this monstrosity.
Quoting Queen won't help you. I have to do my duty now.
That'll teach him. Now let's see what's next on my todo list.
Let me see. It says "Learn everything about the trade from the old grim reaper before you turn him to dust.". Ooops.

 

by lukket
8-26-03
Look out, a bug!
If I had a penny for every bug I had, I'd be a billionaire.
It's a bug!
I'm running Windows for christ's sake. What do you expect.
I warned you.
That PC was yummy.

 

by lukket
8-26-03
Best wishes with your brand new pc.
It's loaded with Office and Windows XP
From now on, your sorry ass belongs to me!

 

by lukket
8-27-03
Daddy, can I have a puppy?
No. And asking your mother won't help you.
Mummy, can I have a ...
Daddy, mummy is dead
I told you it wouldn't help to ask your mother. Now could you give me a hand with this coffin!?

 

by lukket
8-27-03
Hi Jon
Hi Garfield
What's cooking?
Korean lasagne.
Cool. Where's Odie?
I just told you.

 

by lukket
8-27-03
Damn computer. I got the Blue Screen of Death!
Oh no! We have to ask Larry Christ for help and guidance in this awful mess.
Oh Larry Christ, what action shalt I take towards my crashed PC?
Thou shalt press control alt delete, and behold your computer will work again.
Hey! It works.
Now will you get me down from this cross? It really hurts.

 

by lukket
8-27-03
I'm supposed to plan hacking you to death with a meat cleaver...
Yeah. And I have been instructed to give you something you will mistake for a present, but that really is a bomb.
Then I will thwart your plan and fool you into taking the present yourself.
That's gonna hurt. I guess that will kill me.
Yeah. It probably will. Wanna go for a beer?
Alright. i guess that beats getting killed by a rival spy.

 

by lukket
8-27-03
Somebody help me! I can't swim with this cement block around my feet.
Hi pal. Why do you wear it then?
I was forced to wear it. Help me.
What did you do since they someone forced you to do that?
Gigli. Please help me!!
See you later.

 

by lukket
8-28-03
Cthulhu returns...
I demand to see your leader.
Yummy. Squid.
I said. I demand to see your leader, now!
Talking squid, though.
Speak to me, or I will kill you!
Meow?

 

by lukket
8-28-03
I've lost my patience human, now you will die.
What I wouldn't give for the ability to talk now.
Prepare to die... hey!
Touch my cat and die!
A cat? Then you must be the human.
What are you anyway? Ackbar?

 

by lukket
8-28-03
I'm not Ackbar. I'm Cthulhu and I've come to rule the earth!
It's a trap! Hahaha...
Show me respect! I demand to see your leader!
I don't think they will allow you to see him.
Why? Because I'm the high priest of the old ones who is returning to rule the Earth and enslave the humans?
OK. You'll blend in just fine.

 

by lukket
8-28-03
Let me in. I want to see your leader.
Let me see what I can do Mr Ackbar.
I'm Cthulhu, high priest of the great old ones. I demand to see your leader.
Oh you're so funny Mr Ackbar. Mr Bush is a great fan, so I don't think it'll be a problem.
Take me to him or I'll ... hmm... It's a trap, right?
Oh you're cracking me up Mr Ackbar. Just a moment.

 

by lukket
8-28-03
Mr President. We have Ackbar in the waiting room.
You're sure it's not a trap, hahaha.
Do you want to see him?
Yeah. I want him to quit the rebellion forces and work for the dark side.
Hahaha, Mr. President. You're so funny!
Yeah. "It's a trap" works every time.

 

by lukket
8-28-03
I'm sorry to bother your Mr President. But that guy in the waiting room looks like Cthulhu.
Who is that?
He's a character from HP Lovecraft's novels.
Lovecraft? Are you referring to the former president?
Listen to me. That guy is a menace!
I don't think so, I fear his wife more.

 

by lukket
8-28-03
But Mr President. I warn you. That guy in the waiting room is Cthulhu. He wants to rule the world.
I was told earlier that it was Ackbar?
Oh. Do you think it's a trap?
Hahaha. You're killing me.
I don't think it's Ackbar. He has already eaten the secretary.
I tell you. If I shouldn't think about showing conservative values, I'd do that too. She's hot!

 

by lukket
8-28-03
Thanks to his squiddy appearance Cthulhu gets into the oval office...
So you're the leader of this Earth!?
Oh well, not yet, but we're working on it Mr Ackbar.
I'm Cthulhu you fool. Now it's time to reinstate the reign of the Great Old Ones.
So you mean it really was a trap?
I'll let the others know your final words. Goodbye.

 

by lukket
8-28-03
The new world leader Cthulhu today announced a reign of terror on the Earth.
Noooo....
We will resume this broadcast after a special announcement by Cthulhu. Our new leader.
I better hear what he has to say.
Human race. I have returned to take control of your puny lives. The Great old ones will once again rule the earth.
Hey! It's Ackbar. Hahaha. It's a trap. hahaha.

 

by lukket
8-28-03
Hey Cthulhu. What brings you back? I thought you were busy crushing humans and ruling the Earth?
The humans were so disrespectful. They are now worthy to be crushed and ruled by me.
What did they do? Were they revolting against you? Did they kill your minions? Did they disobey orders?
No. It was much worse. They laughed at me and said I reminded them of Ackbar!
Hey. Now you say it, there does seem to be a resemblance.
Hey! Watch it pal.

 

by lukket
8-28-03
Hey Cthulhu. What brings you back? I thought you were busy crushing the humans and ruling the Earth?
The humans were so disrespectful. They are not worthy to be crushed and ruled by me.
What did they do? Were they revolting against you? Did they kill your minions? Did they show disobedience?
No. It was much worse. They laughed at me and said I reminded them of Ackbar!
Hey. There's something about it. There does seem to be a resemblance.
Hey! Watch it pal.

 

by lukket
8-29-03
Blonde is at home after the date with Blue.
Why did I let him go. I better mail Blue right away.
If you want me. Come get me.
But call first, thanks.

 

by lukket
8-29-03
Why hasn't Blue answered my mail?
Maybe he doesn't want me?
Why does she keep staring at me like that.
Please ring!
I just hate this job.

 

by lukket
8-29-03
(This is what happened between part 20 and part 21)
Well I guess Blonde and I will just have to be friends.
You shouldn't give up so easy.
Oh well. I'm going to bed now.
It's only 11 PM?
Yeah. But I plan lying restless in my bed all night thinking about blonde.
He's clearly in love.

 

by lukket
8-29-03
The next day, Blue IM's Red while working.
Hi. What's up?
I have a date today
Does he know you're gay?
Yeah. He's a regular on my website.
And you still say you...
Hey, I know what you're going to say. Cut it.

 

by lukket
8-29-03
Blue sits gloomy at his job.
It's not fair. I like Blonde and she just wants to be friends.
Blue? Can I have a word?
Uhm. Yeah boss. Sure thing.
I'd prefer you keep your love life out of my paper.
Uh. What do you mean?
Well, our wedding column is called "Love illustrated" not "Love illusionated"

 

by lukket
8-29-03
Red has gone to "The sailor's palace" to meet his date.
Are you my father?
Ehm. No.
Are you my little choir boy.
I think I just saw him.
Hi, I'm your date. There sure is many weirdos here.
Hey! That was supposed to be my line.

 

by lukket
8-29-03
Red has just met his date at "Sailor's palace"
It's nice to meet you, Red
I said, it's nice to meet you, Red
Do I scare you?
No. Please don't hit me.

 

by lukket
8-29-03
Red still with his date at "Sailor's palace"
You shouldn't judge me from my looks.
I know.
Let's just have a good time and see if the chemistry works out.
Sure thing.
I'll buy us coffee and pie with whipped cream.
Not the whip, please, not the whip.

 

by lukket
8-29-03
Judging from your website, I'd thought you were more openminded
Well, I am
Then prove it
I am gay, and I'm not afraid to admit it!
Have you ever been with a guy?
God heavens. No!.... oh I get your drift.

 

by lukket
8-29-03
I think we better split.
Guess so.
Friends?
Yeah. I just have one question. Did you find me attractive?
Frankly? I'd hit it!
Don't panic. It's just an expression.

 

by lukket
8-29-03
At Blue's work.
Hi Brunette.
Hi Blue. Why so blue?
Well, Blonde just wants to be friends.
Let's talk about that over a beer after work.
Wouldn't that be a date?
I'd like that.

 

by lukket
8-29-03
Later that evening
That was some good beers.
Yeah. It was a nice evening
Aren't you getting me home?
I suppose so.
To your home?
Are you coming on to me?

 

by lukket
8-29-03
You sure have a nice home. Is it alright if I take a shower?
That's OK. I just check my email meanwhile.
Hey. A mail from Blonde. "Come get me if you want"
You called?
That's another fine mess I've gotten myself into.
I'm naked you know.

 

by lukket
8-30-03
Don't worry. We just wanted to make a statement that's all.

 

by lukket
8-30-03
Hello Eeyore
Hello Pooh.
You look strange today, I'd say.
Yeah. I think our normal cartoonist is on strike.
I know. It stinks.
And my neck hurts.

 

by lukket
9-02-03
1912: At the Titanic
Amazing. How lucky I am to have won the ticket for the ship to America in gambling.
Do you fancy a shag?
I realize that the standards of our time do not allow for such non-marital endeavours, but yes. I'd love to.
Then let's go to the first class deck where I have my cabin.
This is just fantastic. Where's the catch?
Hey! Isn't that iceberg getting really close!?

 

by lukket
9-02-03
Oh no. My time machine just went "BOOM". I'm stuck in 1906.
Oh well. I'll have to cope with that. The technology I'll need will be here in fifty years, and I'll still be alive by then.
I better make the best of a bad situation. First I'll find a netcafe and check my mail.
Nooooooo.

 

by lukket
9-03-03
You got an idea for the CC, Jon?
Yes. I have a great idea. I'll let Digger travel back to the year 1900.
Why?
Oh it will be incredibly funny. Nobody will understand a single word of what he will say. It will be hilarious.
How is that different from Digger in 2003?
You got me. Better get back to the old drawing board.

 

by lukket
9-06-03
Will you contribute to the Red Cross so we can help those in need in the third world countries?
Help those rice-eating gooks? No way. Screw them!
Have you noticed something's strange with the Red Cross guys these days?
Yeah. It's like they're coming on to us.
Wait. I know where this strip is heading. It's gonna suck big time!
Well. That's where the money is.

 

by lukket
9-06-03
We saw lukket's last strip. He sucks.
For fi dolla we do too.
I'm not comfortable with all this politically incorrect humour.
You're right. Everyone should be treated equally and with respect.
I aggree wholeheartedly. Aren't you just tired of sexist and racist jokes?
Yeah. Sexist jokes are stupid. We all know men are superior to women so why make fun of it?

 

by lukket
9-06-03
I can't understand how you can say that men are superior to women!?
See: You women don't understand anything.
My plan didn't work out.
What plan?
Well. You know, when you're dating you basically spend a lot of money on someone and after a couple of dates you get to go in bed with them.
So you offered your date the money in advance? Wonder why that didn't work...

 

by lukket
9-06-03
I called you to protest against the abuse of us stereotypes here at StripCreator. We are all being mocked in a lot of the comics.
Right
on
you
stupid
stoner. Man this hurts.

 

by lukket
9-06-03
Blowjob: When a hitman uses explosives.
It's a damn shame that the bank job didn't work out.
Yeah. Tell me about bad luck with the explosives.
Well. There we were in the vault of the bank with 10 pounds of marzipan when...
It was just a figure of speech, dammit!

 

by lukket
9-07-03
How can I help you?
I have a question about the chocolate candy I bought called "Crunchy frog".
What do you want to know?
It's just that on the wrapping it says "Made from the most excellent frogs".
We use only the finest baby frogs, dew-picked and flow from Iraq, cleansed in the finest quality spring water, lightly killed, and sealed in a succulent Swiss quintuple-smooth treble-milk cho...
Forget that I asked.

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