All comics by marknicodemo

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by marknicodemo
1-15-07
For decades, feminists lauded the career woman who ignored any maternal instincts in favor of a suit and a career.
Senator Barbara Boxer! Mon cheri! You sure told Condi Rice!
I pride myself in having lots of anger, Pierre.
One would think the highly successful Condi Rice, with no husband or children, would be the feminist model.
Zee meanie Republicans they do not know that you must have kids before making national decisions.
You can't support something if it doesn't affect you directly. It's obvious.
And she would be if she wasn't also black AND a Republican.
(But Barbara, I thought zee enlightened liberal womyns prefered wombs empty like this room. )
(That's just for normal women, Pierre. You know, Democrats.)

 

by marknicodemo
1-31-07
Crat from the planet Dem asks Pierre about global warming.
Your media is very convinced by this global warming theory.
Zee media has proven that global warming has been proven.
Most of Texas is in the 30s, and Jacksonville was in the 20s.
Not fair! We cannot make zee accurate scientific conclusions based on only one winter!
...
Fortunately, most scientists are more careful.

 

by marknicodemo
2-04-07
Pierre watches the Superbowl
"FINAL SCORE IS 29-17, COLTS OVER THE BEARS."
Sacre bleu! Zee Bears played worse than all zee Republicans in Congress!
and makes some comparisons,
"THANK YOU FOR WATCHING SUPERBOWL XLI ON CBS"
Fortunately, zee impartial referees, like all Democrats, were very fair and nice.
some more accurate than others.
"STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT COMMERCIALS POINTING OUT THE SKIN COLOR OF THE HEAD COACHES."
Democrats even wrote all zee commercials.

 

by marknicodemo
4-02-07
Pierre, Easter is quickly approaching. Can you tell me about Easter?
Oui, Easter is when good kiddies get candies from zee Easter Bunny. Republican kids get rotten eggs.
I thought humans celebrate Easter to commemorate the death and resurrection of Jesus.
Jesus? OH, THAT Jesus! Haha, that's just a fancy story Christians tell each other, like "Snow White and Zee Seven Dwarfs."
Is that why stores only show images of pastel bunnies, but none of Jesus?
Damn straight. We don't need to remind shoppers zee real reason for Easter.

 

by marknicodemo
5-30-07
While Pierre is in France protesting the Sarkozy victory, the Twins discuss Bush and immigration.
Regarding immigration, it's hard to understand what President Bush is thinking.
Journalist John O'Sullivan notes that workplace arrests of illegal aliens have fallen 97% under Bush.
From 1995-1997, there were between 10,000 and 18,000 raids annually under Bill Clinton.
But under President Bush, only 157 took place in 2004. And 9/11 had occurred three years prior.
Making us wonder how Bush can claim he cares about national security...
when our borders are open more than a 24 hour Walmart.

 

by marknicodemo
5-30-07
While Pierre is in France protesting the victory of conservative Sarcozy, the Twins discuss Bush and immigration.
Journalist John O'Sullivan notes that workplace arrests of illegal aliens have fallen 97% under President Bush.
Indeed, from 1995-1997, between 10,000 and 18,000 raids occurred annually under President Bill Clinton.
In 2004, only 157 took place.
And 9/11 had occurred 3 years earlier.
Making us wonder how Bush can claim to care about national security and our borders...
when illegals and their employers can ignore the law at will.

 

by marknicodemo
6-13-07
At the American-Mexican border, Crat from the Planet Dem asks Pierre about the immigration controversy.
Pierre, are you surprised that Bush and other Republicans support immigration reform ?
Shocked into zee massive heart attack. Meany Republicans finally support oppressed undocumented Americans who come only to work.
Both parties support it. Isn't that strange?
They only want to bring zee oppressed undocumented Americans who come only to work from out of zee shadows. Oui, Kennedy said so.
Or to import an unskilled, uneducated underclass that will ask less questions, can be ruled rather easily, and consistently vote Democrat?
(Shhh... Not so loud!)

 

by marknicodemo
6-13-07
[According to the Center for Immigration Reform*]
Federal expenditures on illegal aliens?
10 billion dollars in 2002.*
While the costs of illegal immigration are borne by the American taxpayer...
Federal expenditures if amnesty were granted?
29 billion dollars.*
the Mexican government, which exports its poor and imports our money, pulls Bush's strings.
Getting the President of the United States to do your bidding?
Priceless!

 

by marknicodemo
6-20-07
Pierre, some prominent earthlings are very concerned about the planet.
We conscious environmentalist activists say "Mother Gaia."
Are you changing your lifestyle to help the environment?
Oui, oui! I now skip every other breath to exhale 50% less CO2.
But less CO2 is bad for plants and trees.
That's why we have Arbor Day.

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