All comics by revolve

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by revolve
3-26-04
Hey Bean, where you headed to?
I've got a date tonight, Mitten. With a very lovely young lady
Ooh. What's her name? Does she have a sister? Is she cool? Has she ever been a ninja?
Sarah. Yes, but she doesn't like you. Yes, she is. No, stop asking that about everyone.
Has she ever baked a pie, and left it in the oven....FOR SECRET EATING?!
I'm not even going to justify that with a response.

 

by revolve
3-26-04
It has come to my attention...
...That I am irrevocably, unquestionably, undisputedly...
IN ...THE MOOD FOR LOVE!
This comic strip has been officially excommunicated by the Catholic Church.

 

by revolve
3-30-04
Hey Bean, I just had the greatest idea!
Oh yeah, what was it?
...
...Mitten?
KERNEL_PAGE_CORE_MEMORY_ERROR IN MITTEN.EXE. IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST TIME SEEING THIS SCREEN, PLEASE RESTART MITTEN.EXE. OTHERWISE, CALL TECH SUPPORT.
I honestly need to find new friends. NORMAL friends.

 

by revolve
4-04-04
Hey Bean, did you know I've got super powers?
Is that so?
Yup. A canister of radioactive waste poured on me and granted me super powers!
What are they, exactly?
Being able to plant O.J. Simpson's bloody glove at will.
Jesus, even your POWERS are useless!

 

by revolve
4-10-04
HEYBEANHOWAREYOU?IMGREAT!THANKSFORASKING!
Ugh...You've taken too much caffeine, haven't you? You should run around the block
OKITHINKILLDOTHATTHANKSFORTHEIDEABEAN!!!
Good. Hopefully, you'll run in the path of a bus.
Man, Mitten is WEIRD.
HEYBEANIMBACKWOWDIDYOUKNOWCHINAISFULLOFCHINESEPEOPLEICERTAINLYDIDNT!

 

by revolve
6-03-04
And now, with no further explanation, Mitten's older brother, Mittin!
Hey, Mittin, wanna go catch a movie?
Hey bro, sure. What movie did you have in mind?
I was thinking maybe "Pirates of the Mystic River And the Lord of the Kings of Comedy Episode 1: Attack of The Incredible Hulk 3"
...
...Well?
GOD THE IDIOCY MAKES MY RETINAS BURN WITH THE FURY OF A THOUSAND GODS!

 

by revolve
6-16-04
And now, another Mitten-made comic...May God have mercy on our souls.
SPLANGE!
EHHHHHHHHH
CHING CHING I AM ROBOTIC MAN WITH PANTS
*Witty Diatribe!*
I WANNA CAST MAGIC MISSILE!!1!
look i am a hilarious astronaut with hilarious astronauticity!!!! FEAR MY CANNED BEETS.

 

by revolve
6-16-04
Yarr I be the scurvy sea dog Mitten Blackshoe, yarrr ye be handin me ye pieces o' eight, or else ye be keel-hauled. Avast!
...I'm just wondering which God I pissed off in a past life to be stuck with you.
I bet it was Odin.
...
What?
When you die, I will laugh for a week STRAIGHT.

 

by revolve
6-16-04
Early one afternoon, on a regular day...
You know, on certain days of the month, carpets can talk in Esperanto.
Magically, an angel appears...with a sword.
You have committed your last crime against nature. Prepare for divine wrath!
Santa Claus?!
Five minutes later
Nigga, you need a bandaid!
My head hurts but I don't know why.

 

by revolve
7-09-04
Hello I am Alan and WELCOME TO THE APOCALYPSE!!
EKEKEKE
I enjoy rubbing fish bait on my nipples whilst singing showtunes. Then I touch myself....
(GENERIC STEREOTYPICAL REPLY#481-A) You go girl ya hurr?
This is some tedious shit.
Watch me bend over and show my mancamel toe!
I HAVE LOST THE WILL TO LIVE.

 

by revolve
5-14-05
I got my doctorate, Bean!
Whu..Your what? A doctorate in what?
The music of Sting and the Police
Bullshit. That's not even real.
Then why did I pay twelve easy installments of $59.99, hmm?
Because you're dumber than a sack of hammers, Idiot Boy.

 

by revolve
6-18-05
Mitten questions a potential suspect
...So, officer, can I go?
I'm thinking, I'm thinking.
Well, I've given you my alibi, and you can ask anyone else. I wasn't here when this occurred.
Yes, but that doesn't save me up to 15 percent on car insurance.
What the hell is wrong with you?
I'm not even a cop!

 

by revolve
9-12-05
Hey Mitten, I taught the dog to roll over.
Oh yeah? Well I taught your MOM to roll over!
Man, at least I HAVE a mom, you test-tube baby. Zing!
Yeah, well, I hope the test tube breaks and cuts your willy, ZING!
...What the hell, I got out-zinged by Mitten?
...I'm scared too.

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