All comics by shohmyoh

 

by shohmyoh
8-11-04
No you can't have that burger! You know what? I wanna have sex with you. Wanna know why?
Ummmmm because I'm eight?
Yeah and also because the best part of having sex with an eight year old is seeing how much bigger my cock looks in your tiny hands.
I'm telling mommy.
Ya what ever no one will believe her anyway. Kids lie all the time. Hey look it's my boss. I hope he's gonna give me that raise.
hey Asshole you're fired I got a complaint about sexual comment you made.

 

by shohmyoh
8-17-04
Hey arn't you 76B30G? Yeah you are. How's it going man? What are you doing now a days?
Hey 6V9. I'm ok, I got a new arm now. It's a Vibrator. I'm a Wonderlover bot now.
Hey that's great man. I always wanted to be a Wonderlove bot. I'd love to pleasure Women all day long.
Yeah it would be great if I woman bought me. I got some gay guy. I have to spend all day ramming his ass.
Hey tough break man.
Yeah it's horrible. I just wish he wouldn't tell his partner to check out is tail everytime I stick my vibrator in him.

 

by shohmyoh
9-09-04
Holy crap Frank you truly haven't moved a muscle in a week.
I told you last Monday I'm not going to pull your finger. Just get over it.

 

by shohmyoh
9-09-04
Hey.
Hi ya.
.....
.....
Well er ummm ya. See ya.
ya later

 

by shohmyoh
9-09-04
I'm getting married soon.
Good for you. Is this why we are in your happy place?
I think so... It's weird my happy place is some screwed up landscape now.
Why what did it used to be?
It used to be just a nice green field and a sunny blue cloudless sky.
Well I can still see the green field, but it's covered in crabs now. The sky has a few clouds now, but it's also got some rainbows and bubbles and a strange dot. Man you have to lay off the drugs.

 

by shohmyoh
9-09-04
Yes James what seem to be the problem?
I'm not sure doctor but it happens once a while.
Well what's the problem?
I don't know but sometimes my penis turns orange.
Only sometimes...Hmmmmm... What are you doing when that happens?
Not much I'm usually just sitting at home eating Chesse doodles and watching porn.

 

by shohmyoh
9-09-04
Damnit Oni. That's only about 15 tentacles on your face. I want MORE TENTACLES!!
Yeah well I forgot to get a few more.
We are never going to get this shot done in time.
Is it ok if I just use this big tentacle instead?
I guess it will have to do. Damn it's hard to direct Hentai somtimes. You can never seem to have enough tentacles.

 

by shohmyoh
9-10-04
I'm sorry about trying to stab you last night. Please accept my apology and these nice flowers.
I'm sorry too. I thought you were a killer and now your giving me flowers how nice. Won't you come in?
Don't mind if I do.
ummm wait a minute Butch. What are you doing with that Huge Knife.
Maybe I should just stab her in her sleep.
Maybe we should start seeing other people.

 

by shohmyoh
9-10-04
Hi do u go to school here?
No I just like it here.
You not going to school here and you keep coming. WHY?
hmmmm where do I start. It could be because of the short skirts, Knee high socks, Baggy socks, Tight white shirt, shinny black shoes, and countless other reasons.
ummmm you know this is a Catholic school right, and lusting is a sin right.
Oh I know but if lusting was a sin, Would the schools supply such a sexy uniform.

 

by shohmyoh
9-10-04
I'm a HEAD A FLOATING HEAD. I HAVE NO BODY WOOOOO SCARY.
GAZE APON ME IN FEAR WOOOOO.. You're not acting very scared... Well to hell with you I'm outta here.
What was that thing all about?

 

by shohmyoh
9-13-04
I'll never understand these backgrounds.
They are in a lot of comics in the paper. At least they didn't get lazy and just leave the panel white.
errr.... Hey Shohmyoh you lazy fucker. You left the panel white.

 

by shohmyoh
9-13-04
MILBO
MILBO
Dude, what's a MILBO
Mother I'd Like To Barf On,

 

by shohmyoh
9-13-04
I hate being a baby.
same here. What's the things you hate the most about being a baby?
Not getting my pants changed, not being huged, Hardly being fed, Not being given attention when I cry, Left in a dark room almost all hours of the day. That's just a few things off my list.
Wow you have it hard.
Yeah really, what do u hate the most.
not being able to reach my teddy when I go to sleep. Man compared to you I now love being a baby. Your parents hate you.

 

by shohmyoh
11-01-04
Keep fighting against the terrorist evildoers/Stop Gay Marrage/Stop Abortion.
Hey Bush I have a question to ask you.
What's that?
If you are following the Christian right. How come you try to stop abortions yet welcome stem cell research among other evils you have commited.
Ummmmmmm...
Let's hope the American people don't elect you again

 

by shohmyoh
11-08-04
Hi dad I haven't seen you in ages. How are you?
Hello Son. I'm fine, I just started a Voyage of self discovery.
Wow, that sounds great. What have you been doing for it?
Oh I've been getting rid of some things that have gotten old. You know stuff that doesn't get used anymore, and are now collecting dust.
That's cool. I know I get attached to a lot of stuff. Has anything been hard to get rid of.
Well some stuff has been hard to get rid of. I think the thing I'll miss the most is your mother's snatch.

 

by shohmyoh
11-08-04
Wow it's so wild and untouched.
The land is fertile and untouched, ready to be cultivated by you great men.
It seems exciting, to be Amish. How do you like it?
IT FUCKING SUCKS.

 

by shohmyoh
11-11-04
Man I'm hungry and there's nothing to eat in this Basement. Maybe I'll go to a 24 hour drive through or something.
......................
Meow
The Next day, I ran into my upstairs Neighbour as I was going to work.
Hi Shohmyoh, Say what were you eating last night it smelt good.
Your cat.

 

by shohmyoh
2-08-05
America wins the Trans Atlantic Pancake race again. Giving them their 7’Th straight victory.
It amazes me to see all the physical training athletes go to to strive for excellence.
Then they go around using it to win something stupid like this. Man oh man how they've wasted their abilities.

 

by shohmyoh
2-08-05
Tragic NEWS tonight. A suicide bomber blew himself up today killing 6 people.
I've often wondered. When a suicide bomber blows himself up and you hear the body count.
Do they count the bomber as one of the people on the list of dead?

 

by shohmyoh
2-09-05
Hi This is James. He has no relation or connection to a true James I know.
YEAH
The True James I know got pissed that I used the name James in another comic I made about eating Cheetos and Masterbating.
YEAH
The True James doesn't eat Cheetos doesn't compulsivly masterbate and isn't that fat. So If I offended you Jame I'm sorry.
You better be.

 

by shohmyoh
2-11-05
Man I hate having to take a crap in the wild. Nothing to wipe with but poison Ivy
Wait a minute that person up a head might have something I can wipe my ass with.
Hello ma'am. That's a cute baby. Can I hold him for a minute?
Sure.

 

by shohmyoh
2-12-05
So why did you cross the road?
It wasn't by choice.
Why what happened?
Well the guys I was with wanted to.
If only the frog and the man didn't have their cock stuck in me I wouldn't have had to cross.

 

by shohmyoh
2-12-05
Stop that.
15 minutes later
30 minutes later
THAT'S ENOUGH! STOP LOOKING AT MY CROTCH!

 

by shohmyoh
3-14-05
Hmmmmm, I wonder what's better? A young woman or an old woman?
They both have advantages. The Young girl is pretty and easy to get it up with. But I think I'll pick the old girl.
Not only does she have more experience but the best thing is that when we are done she can bake me the most awesome cookies I've ever had.
Be a little more gentle this time sonny. I have osteoporosis. You almost broke my pelvic bone last night.

 

by shohmyoh
3-14-05
Man that service was boring.
Oh well it's over now. That's good; maybe I can fulfill my fantasy this Sunday.
Doggy style, with a Nun. Ohhh yeah. I’ll show you what it’s like to be anointed with something other then the holy spirit.
Go with God Everyone.

 

by shohmyoh
3-20-05
So are you ready to have sex with me?
I don't know. Are you sure this is ok mom.
Shut up or I'll ground you.

 

by shohmyoh
4-04-05
Here have some nails.
Why thank you Butch. What should I do with them?
I think you know.
Fucker wants me to drive them into my skull
Man this gets me hot.
Chirst almost everytime I appear in a comic I'm driving nails into my head. Man this is getting old.

 

by shohmyoh
4-05-05
Wow.
Baaaaa.
Then what happened?
BAAAAA!
Cut the small talk baby. How about we have some Dessert?
I hope we don't screw in his car again. I'm certain his sheep skin seat covers are made out of my mother.

 

by shohmyoh
4-19-05
This Just in. The American Alcohol, health ideas may be wrong. The government of Atlanta warned on Tuesday that a few drinks a day may not protect against strokes and heart attacks.
Ha ha losers. They should start drinking heavily that should help the heart.
Hey what time is it. Holy Crap 7am. Man I need to have Breakfast. Cereal Swiming in beer.

 

by shohmyoh
5-07-05
WOOOOHHHHH!
Please Leave.
BWAHAHAHAHA!
I beg you please leave.
Do I scare you?
No you don't. But I can't go pee while you're watching.

 

by shohmyoh
5-07-05
So where were you yesterday at around 9 and 10 pm
I was at my house, about a mile from here. I was playing with my brother.
I see. If I talk to you brother can he help to confirm this.
Probbly not. Because I killed him.

 

by shohmyoh
5-07-05
That's sad.
All the blood is by the head and upper body.
I knew I should have shot him in the crotch a few times.

 

by shohmyoh
5-09-05
SHUT THE HELL UP I CAN'T CONCENTRATE ON MY GAME.
WAAAHHHHH !!! WAAAHHHH !!! WAAAAHHH !!!
OK THAT'S IT.
WAAAHHHHH !!! WAAAHHHH !!! WAAAAHHH !!!
That's better. Damn kid can stay in the walk in freezer until he learns his lesson.

 

by shohmyoh
5-10-05
Wow I've never met a girl like you.
I'm full of surprizes.
Yeah, I bet. You're so unique. I mean I've never met a girl that looks as unique as you.
Oh really, what's so Unique?
Well You have such large hands and feet. I've never seen them so large on a woman. It's kinda sexy.
Yeah well how about we continue this at my house, I mean you still have yet to notice how unique it is that I have a penis.

 

by shohmyoh
8-10-05
So you're Butch the new teacher arn't you?
Yeah.
So how do you like your new job here teaching Grade 1.
S'ok. But I wonder if I'll still have anyone to teach at the end of this month. 8 Kids are already gone.
Wow you have 8 kids out of your class already, in the first week as well. Where did they go?
To the city dump after I chopped them up into small pieces.

 

by shohmyoh
8-10-05
Look my magical staff. I am I great and powerful wizard.
That's a toilet plunger, not a magical staff.
Don't be silly. I'm a great and wise wizard I know this is a great staff of magic
Just shut the fuck up already and unclog the fucking toilet before I fire you. This is a job not some fucking D&D convention.
*Gulp* yes boss, right away sir.

 

by shohmyoh
9-21-05
Yes it's been weeks and New Orleans is still a mess.
Although just recently somthing wonderful has happened.
The Stripclubs are back open and operating at ROCK BOTTOM prices. Get on the table baby.
Our private dances are cheaper then our drinks. Come have fun.

 

by shohmyoh
9-26-05
Enrique Iglesias was recently named #1 of a magazine's 25 sexiest bachelors
I don't know what girls see in him.
I guess they like a mole that is big enough to have it's own president.

 

by shohmyoh
9-27-05
This will take some skill to finish this operation. O.K. I need a kinfe
Here you go.
O.k. So I cut here, here, and here. I think we are done. Time to stitch him back up.
No need to you messed up and killed him.
Damnit I've never ever completed an operation sucessfully.
I'll call your lawer again.

 

Hey Jesus. I accepted you into my heart. Why am I in Hell?
For the same reason I'm in Hell. I chose the wrong religion.
by shohmyoh, 10-16-05

 

by shohmyoh
10-20-05
The other day at work I noticed a large woman lying down in the lunch room across some seats. She was talking on her cell phone but it was resting on her head. She was too lazy to hold it.
She reminded me of a big lazy manatee lying in the sun. She didn’t even muster up the energy to try and hold her phone. She really opened my eyes that day.
Before that day I thought that only men had that extreme level of sloth.

 

by shohmyoh
12-05-05
Hey Brad what's up?
Not much. Wow you’re still drinking Coffee; you never seem to stop drinking it.
Yeah I'm addicted to it.
Well we are all addicted to stuff. I'm addicted to Pool.
Yeah that game is pretty fun.
I know I'm playing it right now-------------In my pockets.

 

by shohmyoh
12-05-05
Hey I ate your little brother yesterday.
How did he taste?
Not bad. But he was undercooked and I had the shits for the next few days.
Well he always was a shitty little brother.

 

by shohmyoh
12-31-05
How was Christmas?
Fine but I only got 3 gifts. So I feel like I got screwed out of Brithday and Christmas presents.
You're birthday is on Christmas. That must suck.
Yeah but It's a price you pay being Jesus and everything. People don't seem to notice me as much when I put on this Cowboy costume.
I told you to stick with what people know. No one will look at you and think you're their savior when u are dressed like that.
O.K. I've have enough backtalk from you. You're off my Christmas card list and on my going to hell list.

 

by shohmyoh
1-03-06
Where are we captain?
We are on Flatron VII. This planet is filled with nymphomanic women. Most of us will be having sex here.
Wow I can hardly wait to get started.
Wait a moment Mister Lee. You won't be having any sex.
Awwww why not.
Well you're a redshirt. You will die before anything else.

 

by shohmyoh
1-10-06
Ok ok I give up.
You mean I win?
Yes I give up. You are now truly the strangest looking guy at the office

 

by shohmyoh
1-10-06
Hey Brad how are you today?
Hey Jeff. Oh my don't let the boss see your dressed like that.
Hi Nick. What's up with Brad. He seemed worried about my clothes.
Yeah man. He has a right to be. Don't let the boss see you. You're violating the dresscode. Oh no he's here. Good luck to you man.
Ummmm hi boss.
We have a strict dresscode here mister. I have to fire you. Your pants have a hole in them.

 

by shohmyoh
1-13-06
Hey Gene I need to talk to you.
What do you want Redbird?
Man you need to get rid of your Girlfriend fast. She's SOOOO ugly.
How would you know if she's ugly or not? You're a dog.
Well yesterday I had to close my eyes when I humped her leg.

 

by shohmyoh
2-13-06
FUCK!
What seems to be the problem Jim?
The owner of this company sucks. We now have to pay $0.25 for a cup of coffee. It was free last week. Considering the amount I drink it's gonna cost me an extra. $200.00 a month.
I'll give you $200.00 if we have sex on Friday. I haven't had it in so long; I don't care if it's bad I just need it.
If you buy me the next cup of coffee today you got a deal.

 

by shohmyoh
2-13-06
Can I come in?
Wait a minute your that serial killer I've seen on the news.
O.K. you caught me red handed. I just want to come in and kill your family.
To bad I beat you to the punch.
O.K. Have a good day then.

Showing page 2.

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