All comics by skerd22

Profile

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
Wait.
I'm not that desperate.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
*sniff sniff*
I should probably bathe more often.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
You know, that jab about my mother a few comics back really hurt.
Oh...I'm sorry. I thought you could take a joke.
It's just that...WAHHHHH!
Oh please, don't cry. What is it?
*sniffle* She couldn't afford to buy me a humor chip.
There there, Emobot.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
Hello, and welcome to Immuni-Nation!
What can we get for you today?
I'll have the Chickenpox Cocktail, please.
Would you like to supersize that?
I think that'd be a good idea. I have felt rather poxy lately.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
There's got to be a way off this island!
I could eat you.
Helping or hurting?
Just saying.

 

Sir, please note for future reference that cats make terrible A/C filters.
by skerd22, 6-23-08

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
Welcome! How can I help you?
How...old are you?
37.
They knew right then, it was love at first sight.
I'm Amy.
Mark.

 

by skerd22
6-23-08
I'm going to need that suitcase.
Over my dead body.
That's the idea.
Okay, I'm sorry, that was horribly clichè. Can we start over?
My line didn't give you much room to work. I'll try something else this time. From the top?

 

by skerd22
6-24-08
Hi there!
Holy crap. That squirrel just talked to me! What should I do? I need a witness or...
Can you spare a little change?
Umm....no?
You speciesist jerk.
I hate squirrels. Oh dang. He's right.

 

A dolphin in an arcade! Fancy that!
A monkey in a suit! Fancy that!
by skerd22, 6-24-08

 

by skerd22
6-24-08
Captain's Log, Stardate...10ish? I arrived at the planet Kyu Bachle roughly an hour ago, and already the fatigue of experiencing a new world has set in.
Donald...are you monologuing?
I had been assigned working quarters by the planet elders, but the thirst for exploration has driven me to a new area, and a new adventure.
I should have known something was wrong when you attended the interview in that outfit...
Success! Let the thirst of exploration be quenched with this primitive water dispensing device!

 

by skerd22
6-24-08
Hello son.
Hi dad.
Have you forgiven me for being a vampire yet?
Have you forgiven me for making garlic salad?
I gotta go.

 

by skerd22
6-24-08
Ayo horseface! Yo grill is TORE UP, son!
You deaf, chump? I said, yo GRILL is T-
If you don't calm down with the big talk, I will punch that smarmy Magic-Schoolbus grin off your culturally confused face.
Hey...that was harsh, dawg...
You should just not talk.

 

by skerd22
6-24-08
Dude, you're a cop. I hate cops.
Bad boys, bad boys. Whatcha gonna do?
Whatcha gonna do when THEY COME FOR YOU!
Hypocritical hippie.
My brother-cousin was on that show once for attacking my sister-aunt!

 

by skerd22
6-24-08
Oh my gosh...that blast leveled the city!
Hey baby. Let's repopulate.
Tell me you're kidding.
With your consent, we'll be kidding ASAP.
I would laugh at that, but I'm too busy hoping that bomb has siblings.
Oh, there'll be plenty of siblings, baby.

 

Your instructions don't say anything about excrement.
BUT I HAVE TO GO.
by skerd22, 6-24-08

 

by skerd22
6-24-08
Can I help you?
I know you don't know me, but...there's no easy way to put this, so I'm just going to say it: I'm Zeus, and I'm your father.
Wait. You're Zeus? The Zeus? And you couldn't manage to teach me how to ride a bike so the other kids wouldn't laugh at me? I hate you.
Well...I...uh...Olympus is a busy place...and...
So not worth it.

 

by skerd22
6-24-08
I'm sick of these racist fools, dawg!
Just cuz I slangs it a bit when I speaks...
...don't mean you can play me shy!
I is who I is. And if you don't like it, ya racist, son!
Believe that.
I haven't the slightest idea what you just said.

 

by skerd22
6-24-08
NO SMOKING.

 

THIS SUMMER'S MUST SEE FILM! Bombs Over Downunder On the Range
by skerd22, 6-24-08

 

This traffic cop bit is sooo much easier these days!
by skerd22, 6-24-08

 

by skerd22
6-24-08
Hey officer! What seems to be the problem?
I'm going to need backup. Suspect is resisting arrest.
Wh...what? I just asked...
Sir, I will point this gun at you if you make another move towards me.
Hold on, is that a mailman outfit with fake police patches on it?
It's getting hot down here, Red Bird. Pull me out.

 

by skerd22
6-24-08
Okay, let me look over this love letter before I give it to her...
AUGH! If I get ONE MORE piece of mail, I'm going to go totally POSTAL.
Well crap. I give up.

 

by skerd22
6-24-08
Hey there witchy woman! Let's brew us up some sexy stew.
We can toil and trouble all night long, baby.
Consider yourself burned, pig.

 

by skerd22
6-24-08
Get out my way, you ol' grey-headed ugly! They sellin' kicks at some crazy low prices!
Do what now, sonny?
They movin' tight kicks like rocks on the corner, crusty! Now move sos I can cop that and swagga on outta here!
I don't understand...why do you want to buy crusty rocks?
You's a crackhead, you know that?

 

How do you have a house? Aren't you illegal?
How are you visiting me here? Aren't you aquatic?
by skerd22, 6-24-08

 

by skerd22
6-24-08
I call this joint "Bringin' Texting Back".
*ahem*
It ain't a Rumor that I type with thumbs, cuz I'm a texta/slide the Sidekick and kick yo girl a little extra/
got smileys and lulz, use an "at" rose, impress her/you might have her for now, but I'll have her when I text her
WHOA THAT WAS DOPE SON! I ROCKED THAT JOINT FO REALZ!
It's that Original Texta, right here. You don't know about that. Represent.

 

by skerd22
6-24-08
Did you catch that fiyah, son?
You mean that horrid chanting I heard earlier?
Horrid? If that mean what I think it mean, I'm 'bout to bust a cap up in here.
"Bust" a "cap"? I think your vocal processes are currently incapacitated.
Hit me up with a dictionary, and then I'm cappin' yo ugly boy self.
I'll get right on that.

 

I can't believe you actually did that.
I am.....SO sorry.
by skerd22, 6-24-08

 

by skerd22
6-24-08
Why are you so skinny?
Hmm.
I bet I could beat you in a fight.
What? I'm not going to fight you. You're a little girl for crying out loud!
Scaredy-pants.
This little feminazi is so going down.

 

by skerd22
6-24-08
Ayo Tyler! You're a wuss, homie! That Fight Club mess was so weak, my Grams could whoop ya all!
Are you talkin' to me?
Heck yes I am, ya wannabe gangsta! You wouldn't last one minute out here on these streets! The block gets greasy, son!
My name is Brad Pitt. I'm an actor. You're obviously disturbed. I don't have to listen to this.
Don't matta who you think you are out here! You think you all tight cuz you cut, but that ain't no thang to a G! I'll lay ya six feet deep, boy!

 

by skerd22
6-24-08
You actually came to visit me?
Of course I did, baby!
It's nice to know you're still my gal.
It's gonna take more than bars to keep me away.
Are those octopus suction marks on your neck?
I should go.

 

by skerd22
6-24-08
Oh...hi! You're supposed to be gone right now...I'm...Santa's helper...and uh...
What?
Thanks for the PS3!

 

by skerd22
6-24-08
Fred...you should take out the trash! I may be small, but my temper is huge!
So do it now, before I get really angry!
How are those self-confidence classes going, honey?
Fantastically! The Smiths should be over any minute now. I'll be hiding in the basement if you need anything!

 

by skerd22
6-24-08
Did you just get out of the pool?
Yes.
And...you didn't even bother to dry off?
YOU'RE MADE OF SNOW.
The sheets aren't waterproof, you know.
Maybe not, but the couch is.

 

Promote this, jerkstore.
by skerd22, 6-24-08

 

by skerd22
6-24-08
Grandmother Dearest, wouldst thou consider it within the realm of possibilities to allow me to journey to the residence of my companion?
Why certainy, sonny. But why so nice all of a sudden? What happened to all that "crusty kicking rocks" talk?
Alas, my blue sweatshirt is currently undergoing cleaning.

 

by skerd22
6-24-08
It's a long way down from up here.
Luckily, there's nothing down there worth looking at.
Everyone seems so small.
Everyone except for that blockhead Charlie Brown. You could spot that melon from 20 miles away!
You're a jerk, Mr. Great Pumpkin.
And don't get me started on that Linus character. Like I would ever swoop down just to see that kid!

 

by skerd22
6-25-08
I'm on to you, Lenny.
Wait, what are you muttering about?
I just said..."My mom is too skinny."
You're a freak.
Nice save. He totally doesn't suspect that I suspect he's totally gay.

 

by skerd22
6-25-08
Morning, sunshine.
MMMMMRRRRRRRGHHHHHHH
You should probably not move until I can afford the nails to attach your other side.
UUUURGGGHHHH
Great. Now I'll have to buy a whole new set of innards AND more nails.
OWWWWWWWIIIIEEEEEEE

 

by skerd22
6-25-08
Can I help you?
I'd like your brains on all of the books.
Or, I'd like all of your books on the brain, rather.

 

by skerd22
6-25-08
Where could that chicken be?
I bet Steve is wondering where I am.
That young man is SO grounded.
He's probably thinking about grounding me for being late.
What do you mean "What's that smell?"
And I'll bet Mom is about to stumble upon the corpses in the garage

 

by skerd22
6-25-08
Sooner or later, someone's going to knock on that door.
Pretty soon after that, they'll realize the door is electrified.
It's all just a waiting game.

 

by skerd22
6-25-08
Good day to you, Mr. Maskeyface.
What?
I said, "Good day to you, Mr. Maskeyface."
Huh?
What's wrong with Maskeyface?
His kid started a band.

 

HOLY CRAP A SQUIRREL.
You're dumb.
by skerd22, 6-25-08

 

by skerd22
6-25-08
Whatcha doin' there, buddy?
Who me? Just...uh...fixin'...stuff. This guys...uhh...leg fell off...yeah...and I'm...umm...fixin' it.
Neato!

 

by skerd22
6-25-08
Wow.
Yeah.
How did...
I don't know.

 

by skerd22
6-25-08
Why don't you ever listen to me? All I ever do is tell you right, and you have to always doubt me! Let's not forget it was MEEEE...
Deafness. Fantastic.

 

by skerd22
6-25-08
Would you like to buy some...
HOLY CRAP WHAT ARE YOU?!?!
I'm a girl.
I have seen you in my most HAUNTED of NIGHTMARES! KEEP your DISTANCE, FOUL ONE!
Another satisfied stripcreator.com user.

 

In a single word: AWESOME.
by skerd22, 6-25-08

Showing page 2.

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