All comics by sonesh123

 

by sonesh123
3-07-11
Suburban guy wasnt in high spirits....
Hey, whats up?
Whats up with you? You look like shit.
You know what, over the years i have realized that whenever a CUTE girl says "You're a nice guy", its not an encouraging sign. She probably expects BROTHERLY LOVE out of you.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
3-08-11
Suburban Guy wishes SoBo Chick on Women's Day.....
Hey, wish you a HAPPY WOMEN's DAY. You are lucky to be born in INDIA, the promised land for all types of women.
Hey, thanks. But why do you consider me lucky to be born in India?
If women like MAYAWATI can RUIN..i mean RUN a STATE, there is HOPE for the whole of WOMANKIND in INDIA.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
3-13-11
Suburban Guy and his BOSS are chatting about the WORLD CUP....
There have been instances where people have hit 6 sixes in consecutive balls in an over.
Yeah, i know. But i doubt there would be any BOWLER who could be HIT for 12 consecutive sixes in 2 back to back overs.
Sir, you are underestimating NEHRA's potential. Havent you seen him bowl? I am sure he would break that RECORD.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
3-13-11
Suburban Guy had a hard day at work......
You know what, our company has knocked off atleast 5 years from each of its employees. We are GROOMED to think YOUNG.
WOW. How did they do that?
They pay us SALARIES only fit for 20 year olds.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
3-15-11
Sobo Chick and Suburban Guy caught up for lunch ...
Hey, you know what, STOCKBROKERS have really SAD SEX lives?
and what makes you say that?
Theire wives usually respond to their sexual advances by MINIMUM SPREAD.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
3-27-11
Suburban guy has just seen the movie Guzaarish.....
You know what Hrithik wasnt supposed to be a paraplegic in Guzaarish. The original script was modified based on Abhishek Bachchan's request
Really, and why did that happen?
Apparently, Abhishek Bachchan had problems with Hrithik being too cosy with Aish (courtesy Dhoom 2 and Jodhaa Akbar). He wanted to ensure that Guzaarish didnt have any scope of Hrithik touching Aish.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
4-01-11
Suburban Guy realizes that SoBo Chick is going for the match
Hey, i heard that you are going to Wankhede for the India Srilanka match. I never knew you were so ethusiastic about cricket.
No, I am not. I am going there for taking autographs of Aamir Khan, Abhishek Bachchan and Shashi Tharoor. They're so CUTE.
Oh...so you will end up taking autographs of Sunil Shetty, Vivek Oberoi and Tusshar Kapoor too. They usually sit with Bachchan to get some SPILLOVER FAN's.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
4-06-11
Suburban Guy and SoBo chick are talking about Nitin (a common friend)...
So, did you speak to Nitin lately? How is going with his new date?
Apparently, she is a pain. He wants to break up with her desperately.
Ask Nitin to take her to any of Vir Das's acts. She will break up with him for sure. Infact, she would consider going DATELESS for a while post that TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
4-08-11
Suburban guy was discussing Anna Hazare's feats with a colleague..
I am inspired by ANNA HAZARE's stand against corruption in India. Even i am planning to do a FAST UNTO DEATH if the government doesnt accede to my demands.
Oh really!! And what are your demands?
I have asked the government to declare SAKI NAKA as a "NO-OFFICE" Zone.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
4-09-11
Suburban Guy bumbed into SoBo Chick at an after party.....
Hey, did you hear about the "SAKI-NAKA" DOGS and the "MAROL" OGRES?
No. What the hell are you talking about?
They are the 2 new IPL teams debuting next year. No points for guessing that DOGS are captained by AFRIDI and OGRES mark the comeback of KAMBLI.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
4-10-11
Suburban Guy realizes that SoBo Chick is looking for a date....
Hey, so i heard that you are out in the dating scene? What kinda guy are you looking for? Maybe i can help
He should have blonde hair, an athletic body, piercing eyes and something funnily wierd about him.
So, in short, he should be somewhat similar to LASITH MALINGA?
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
4-10-11
Suburban guy was chatting up with a colleague at work...
Gone are the days when kids used to be happy with candy in lieu of keeping their mouth shut. They have become a demanding lot these days.
Why, what happened?
For some personal secrecy, I had to bribe my 12 year old cousin with a promise to LIKE all his FB updates and COMMENT on them for the next 2 months.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
4-12-11
Suburban guy was discussing India's achievements in space exploration....
Hey, do you know that India's first unmanned lunar probe - Chandrayaan-1 didnt really land on the moon at all?
Really, but they showed pictures of the LUNAR CRATERS on the MOON's surface.
They fooled us. Those were just close ups of the MAROL MAROSHI road in ANDHERI. Its got CRATERS which could challenge any LUNAR LANDSCAPE.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
4-17-11
Suburban Guy is in a GRIM mood...
I am planning to COMMIT SUICIDE. This would be in support of the LARGER INTEREST of the INDIAN POPULATION.
What the hell? What are you trying to SUPPORT?
I would BLAME "Ekta Kapoor" as the CAUSE of my FRUSTRATION and UNTIMELY DEATH. My SACRIFICE thus has the POTENTIAL to REWRITE the FUTURE of INDIAN TELEVISION.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
4-18-11
SoBo Chick surprises her DAD in his office.....
I am surprised you dropped by the OFFICE today. Hope all's well.
Yeah, dad. I was passing by....thought i will say HI. What do you mean by Non Performing Assets? I read that in a report on your table.
You are going around with your boyfriend who is broke and havent taken you out on a date for 3 months. Such an OBJECT is called a Non Performing Asset.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
4-20-11
Suburban Guy has recently been to a flamingo watching expedition ....
Hey, did you know that there are 2 types of FLAMINGO's, a GREATER one and a LESSER one.
Why? Whats the difference between them?
I presume that the LESSER one's are CURSED by NATURE with an embarrasingly SMALL MALE organ.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
4-28-11
Suburban Guy was discussing movies .....
Did you hear about "RANA" the new movie with Rajinikanth and Deepika Padukone?
No. Jesus...first Aish and now Deepika!!! He seems to be getting younger in his movies everyday.
At this rate, I wont be surprised if they replace Darsheel Safary with Rajinikanth in Zokkomon - 2
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
4-30-11
Suburban guy meets GOD in his DREAMS....
GOD, how do you know if you are in love?
SON, you know you are in love when you are so attacted to someone that you cant live without her. So, who is the lucky one?
Megan Fox, Scarlett Johannson, Angelina Jolie, Nicole Kidman, Eva Mendes, ............, ..........
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
5-03-11
Suburban guy is pretty pissed off at his appraisals and is venting out at the HR Manager...
Considering that INCLUSIVITY is one of our cherished organizational VALUES, I think its time we practiced "FINANCIAL INCLUSIVITY" at our WORKPLACE.
What do you mean?
Considering our HUMBLE appraisals this year, I would appreciate that our Management shares their SALARIES with their SUBORDINATE's to ensure a sustainable enterprise.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
5-05-11
Suburban guy was discussing IPL....
Hey, did you know that Sourav Ganguly has joined Pune IPL team? His wife is apparently very happy about it. Poor thing, she doesnt know the real story.
Why? What do you mean by the "real story"?
Sourav is hired as a CHEERLEADER due to his CAMERA FRIENDLY behavior. Remember his stripping incident...
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
5-06-11
Suburban guy was discussing Osama's killing...
Did you know that in Osama's house, they found evidence of possible terror strikes in parts of Mumbai?
Really!!! which parts of Mumbai?
Most prominent areas except for ANDHERI. They realized that ANDHERI citizens are a terrorized lot already and further plans of terrorizing their emotional immunity would be too optimistic.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
5-09-11
SoBo chick was discussing career opportunities in Mumbai....
What do you think is the most popular profession in Mumbai?
"Selling Vada Pavs". These Vada Pav Wallah's seem to be OMNIPRESENT in Mumbai.
Naah...i think its definitely "DIGGING ROADS". They dont even require a reason for doing that in Mumbai.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
5-10-11
Suburban guy was discussing his opinions on Honor Killings..
I strongly support that HONOR KILLINGS should be LEGALIZED for the benefit of society at large.
Why do you think so?
Thats the only way we can get rid of Ekta Kapoor, Rakhee Sawant etc...and RESTORE HONOR to our COUNTRY.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
5-10-11
Suburban guy meets an ANGEL in one of his dreams.....
You guys must be drinking a lot of RED BULL in Heaven, isint it?
What?? Why do you say so?
Cos RED BULL gives you WINGS :)
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
5-11-11
Suburban Guy meets SoBo chick in a gaming arcade....
While playing PICTIONARY yesterday at BGB, people said i can make it BIG in MODERN ART.
Why? What made them say so?
While trying to guess my sketches, they realized that i can make even the most obvious objects like the SUN look like ABSTRACT ART.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
5-13-11
Suburban Guy was chatting up with a local Police Officer......
Sir, i think we have the capability to WIN wars without any bloodshed. We dont need a huge army saving our boundaries.
And why do you say so?
We just need Ekta Kapoor, Dolly Bindra, Rakhee Sawant and Rahul Mahajan to be recruited in the Army. Any enemy would refuse to fight them.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
5-15-11
SoBoChick visits a clean technolgy exhibition along with Suburban guy...
Hey, this exhibition is all about environmental friendly products and services?
Yeah...it is. Why? What did you expect?
You told me it was all about CLEAN TECHNOLOGY. I was expecting deals on Washing machines and vaccum cleaners.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
5-17-11
Suburban guy was dating a designer_woman...
My date with the DESIGNER_WOMAN wasnt as per expectations
Why?... What happened?... You were pretty upbeat about it.
Yeah...but i realized that there was a huge "GAP" in what we could "GUESS" about each other's ideas on whats in "VOGUE".
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
5-20-11
I wonder why do people write "Gifts in Blessings Only" on their wedding cards.
Cos they dont believe in material blessings. What are your thoughts?
Well, a wedding card should ideally read "भगवान का दिया हमारे पास कुछ भी नहीं है, जो मिलेगा आप ही से मिलà¥
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
5-20-11
Suburban guy is in an irritated mood....
I think more than half of the Media Industry in India is going through a phase of disguised unemployement.
Why? What kind of experience prompted this opinion?
Do you really think we need these many guys to spew the shit we see on TV everyday?
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
5-23-11
Suburban guy was discussing HR initiatives in his company....
As a fresh employee recognition initiative, the employee of the month recieves a FRIEND request on Facebook from the CEO himself.
WOW, thats great. Must be really amazing...
No, on the contrary people have voluntarily given up the honor of being conferred as employee of the month. Who wants to be spied by CEO in his/her personal life as well
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
5-23-11
Suburban guy was talking about a common friend...
Hey, did you know the latest update on Naveen?
No, ....did you speak to hum?
Yeah. Apparently, his wife has filed for divorce on realizing that he had a humble annual appraisal at work. He called me for tips on updating his profile on secondshaadi.com
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
5-24-11
Suburban Guy was thinking of his career options....
Hey, i am thinking of an alternative career option. Maybe, i would foray into STAND UP COMEDY.
Wow, where did that come from?
Its the only profession in which you can make fun of people you dont like and also get paid for it.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
6-01-11
Suburban Guy gets a gift for SoBo Chick..
Hey, I got a limited edition Barbie Doll for your cousin. Hope she likes it.
Oh...so cute. Cant help but ask, what made you so thoughtful?
They have a contest in which if you buy a Barbie Doll, you get a chance to meet and spend a day with Katrina Kaif. All the guys I know have headed towards the nearest toy shop.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
6-06-11
Suburban guy was chatting up with his colleague in a coffee break...
The success or failure of anyone in life depends on the circumstances they have been born or raised.
Well, if given a chance of another life, what would you like to be reborn or raised up as?
A dropout. They always seem to make it big...whether in the movies or in real life.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
6-11-11
Suburban guy was chatting up with a colleague from Bangalore on commutation in Andheri..
Actually, the distances in Andheri are very flexible for commute.
What do you mean?
A 4 km distance can take you anywhere between 40 mins to 2 hours. Infact they stopped mentioning ANDHERI in all time and distance maths problems in student textbooks.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
6-15-11
SoBochick is in a bad mood....
Hey, i realized that you had a heated argument with your folks last night
Yeah, i did. They were acting sick. Anyways, is there anything which makes you feel really proud of your parents?
Yeah, i absolutely admire their amazing levels of tolerance since childhood.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
6-27-11
Do you have a plan for continuous self improvement?
No, not really. Do you?
Yeah. I always try and hit upon girls way beyond my league. The process of wooing them in itself is a continuous self improvement exercise.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
7-10-11
Suburban guy was chatting about a friends wedding...
Ritesh asked me for suggestions on a venue for his budget wedding
Oh, so what did you suggest?
Marol or Saki Naka. Not many people will turn up and it will ensure a budget wedding for him.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
7-15-11
Suburban guy was in a chirpy mood ...
I will be recieving an "items" bill soon.
What?...what the hell is that?
Vodafone customer service rep calls me and asks if i need an "items" bill. I told him to mail me Katrina Kaif's bill.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
8-14-11
SoboChick is in a good mood...
Hey, tomorrow is independence day :)
Yeah, you seem to very excited about it.
Yeah, i would finally hear our PM - Manmohan singh give a speech. So far, I thought he was mute, just like his mother - Pratibha Patil.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
9-10-11
Suburban Guy was chatting with a colleague at work
So, what are you doing on the weekend?
Watching a few dvd movies. How are you spending the weekend?
My wife "spends" on the weekend. I dont have anything left to spend.
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
9-13-11
SoBo Chick was in a happy mood...
I met this guy who told me that he has been following me since the past few months.
Really. Hope he isint a stalker?
No, he follows me on twitter :)
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
12-23-11
Suburban Guy and SoBo Chick were holidaying in Kamshet...
Hey, you were planning to get your phirang friend to Kamshet with us???
She had other plans. Anyways, i just couldnt get her to pronounce Kamshet right :(
Its as simple as "Calm"Shit....
WTF :(

 

by sonesh123
1-18-12
Jobby Singh's boss was talking to him about his ambitions...
Jobby, you should give a thought about your future. Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?
Sir, 5 years from now i will be married with 2 children.
?????????

 

by sonesh123
1-18-12
Jobby was having a chat with HR....
Jobby, we are doing a survey on which company values do our employees identify themselves with. Whats your opinion?
I identify myself with "Ownership"
Thats interesting, can you tell me why do you believe in ownership?
I always push my colleagues to take complete "ownership" of my work
????

 

by sonesh123
1-18-12
Boss was chatting with Jobby..
We are forming a fresh vision statement for our company in line with our strategic growth objectives.
What are the mandatory elements which should form the statement?
It should briefly define our core business proposition. Any suggestions?
"We sell cheap software"
??????

 

by sonesh123
1-18-12
Boss was having a word with Jobby..
Jobby, we need to hire some interns for doing market research. Can you connect with your college for this?
I wont be able to help you.
But, you were the placement head of your college. How many interns were you able to place?
Myself.
????

 

by sonesh123
2-19-12
Keeda met Kiddo
Hi, i am Keeda
H...
Hi, i am dndhjdh
H...

 

by sonesh123
3-19-12
One evening in the pub...
Hey, How was the Andheri Festival?
It was awesome. Bosco and Caesar also performed...
Really, i didnt know they had a dog show too...
WTF :(

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