All comics by warped_angel

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by warped_angel
10-10-07
welcome to the heaven kiosk..hit any key to enter...!
land-o-goshun..! i can't see an anykey on this dang burn key board....!
no just hit any key on the keyboard to enter into heaven...!
oh ok i'll just try to type in a-n-y-k-e-y on this here keyboard...hmmm still nuthin'...dang'nabbit...!
hey take your time i have all eternity..pal...
this here's a heaven test or sum'thin' right...?

 

by warped_angel
10-10-07
hey sweetie is'nt this the longest tongue you've ever seen..?
maybe...
guess what i can do with it....? heh heh...
how many guesses do i get..?
just one...
no thanx i usualy use toilet paper...

 

by warped_angel
10-10-07
then i slowly slipped it ..into her...all the way...
wow...
then i turned her over..went in the back door if you know what i mean...
how do you mannage to do all those women rob...
a hard blow to the head then some good nylon rope...
cool...then what happened....?

 

by warped_angel
10-11-07
hey lady wann'a ride..?
ok sure....
well i hope you have grass...cash .... or ass..nobody rides for free he heee...
i have all three sweet thang'...are'nt you missin' half your car though..?
naw this is the altra new hybrid..so you'll have to ride in the trunk ...ok..?
oh looky a bus is comming...see you later...much....!

 

by warped_angel
10-11-07
he buddy want to see what i have in my pants...?
dude..no way...
i think you'd want to see this ..if you looked ...
why would i want to look in your pants dude...?
because i crammed a whole can of crisco in there ..with this 90 degree weather we've been having..i'm just about to reach the deep fryer factor....
whoa dude...! this i have to see....!

 

by warped_angel
10-11-07
dude i'm so going to do it.....!
ummm...what...wash your hair..for the first time this year...?
naw..like i'm going to donate to stripcreator...man...!
would'nt it be wiser to get a hair cut and go to rehab...mabye get a job..finish school...?
wow thats so funny dude ..like can i use that for my first comic man...!
i can see the headlines now...trash brain makes the whole of the southern states fall over dead laughing...!

 

by warped_angel
10-11-07
so now that we yanked it infront of each other...what you wann'a do now...?
gee i dun'no...
wann'a do it again...?
yeah..whateve'a...!
think your mom and sister will notice the stains in their undies..?
naw...it's my dad's underware i'm worried about...

 

by warped_angel
10-11-07
i'm disapointed in you young lady..!
yes i know father.....
after all the whims i've catered to you..... you'd think that you would do this one little thing...just one...!
i know ...i know...i'll do better next time..i promise...!
good....now go see if you can lure that group of collage girls over there into the van...and don't srcew it up this time....!
SIGH.....!

 

by warped_angel
10-11-07
please sir...can i see your driver's license and regitration ....
the only reason why you pulled me over is because i'm BLACK...is'nt it...!
sir.... the only reason your saying that is because i'm white..is'nt it....

 

by warped_angel
10-11-07
hey buddy can you help a guy out here...?
dang..! i hate public restrooms...
these claws are so sharp i might cut it off..lend a hand will you...?
what do i have to do..?
well you'll have to kneel down raise my flap.undo the crotch cover...hey..! where you going..?
walk to the door and pretend this didnt happen...

 

by warped_angel
10-11-07
lil' johnny ends his history report
so true...! so brave they were...!
yes it's taken the national freedom party to bring things right in this country...and the world ! many lives were lost...
our safty is assured...! O' joyous weeping..!
there is peace in the middle east ..china has it's independance.we now have brought democracy to the world...it brings tears my eyes..!
johnny points to ol' glory !
everyone on your feet..! hail freedom...! hail freedom...! hail freedom...!
we celibrate complete control..! let us all rise and salute our flag...hail freedom..! hail freedom..! hail freedom..!

 

by warped_angel
10-11-07
hi there i live nextdoor to you...
yes...
and i just wanted to intruduce myself...
yes....
so as a friendly jesture i thought i would invite you to come over for some coffee...?
noooo....

 

by warped_angel
10-11-07
randy waits for his lawyer
guard..! where's my lawyer..!
don't worry freak-a-zoid..he's on his way...
randy's lawyer arrives...
hello .... chuck... your court appointed lawyer...your charges say you were caught trying to jack off dogs in the park...
randy's lawyer takes time to refect on his case..
heh heh... yeah i did...heh heh heh...
why did i just extend my hand to him..?

 

by warped_angel
10-11-07
i'm glad to be here...
well..the student exchange program is ok i guess..we'll have to share my bed...
so you ever sleep next to another girl before..?
yeah i've had friends stay over before...
so you ever lay like this and rub your crotches together..?
noooo.and if you try to..i'm sleeping on the couch...

 

by warped_angel
10-11-07
so how do you like it..?
i can't believe its true...but it is...
hundreds of acres of kitty litter as far as the eyes can see...
truely awsome...!
so you wann'a make out over there behind that litter dune....huh baby...heh heh...!
you know tiger...our relationship would go futher...if your mind was'nt always in the toilet....!

 

by warped_angel
10-11-07
oh my god shelly..how did you know ...!
happy assembly day corra..!
it's what i always wanted..where did you find it..!
on the internet of course..tee hee..!
finaly i have my own Mr. microphone..!

 

by warped_angel
10-11-07
we're gonn'a die....!
i think this time you could be right....
what the hell we gonn'a do..! ?
can you give me felletto...?
can i give you felletto..! ?
yeah sure....go for it we're going to die anyway...!

 

by warped_angel
10-11-07
read me a story..
kid thats not what i do...
hey my daddy paid you for an hour i get what ever i want...
fine shorty..i'll read you a story...
i hope you can talk with your mouth full...!
did'nt see that comming....

 

by warped_angel
10-11-07
why are you late for school....
well i was bringing my doggie for show and tell...
yes......
i cut through the golf course..he got hit in the ass with a golfball....
no jan say rectum...
rectum...hell it damn near killed him....!

 

by warped_angel
10-11-07
tell us where the loot is me bucko...
no....
then we'll have to beat and rape you again...arrrr....
ok......
me thinks we need another plan ere'...arrrrrrr...!

 

by warped_angel
10-11-07
whats worng bobby....
i want to kill myself....?
now why would you be thinkin' that way....?
because i'm gay..and you just caught me sodomizing my cat.....
well why don't you finish what your doing..and i'll haul you downtown....ok....?
yeah fine...thanx...

 

by warped_angel
10-12-07
do you know you have crack in the car...?
you see i have a prescription for it ....
you can go on your way..
ok officer..have a good day...
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... no really... your under arrest for posession of a controlled substance...!

 

by warped_angel
10-12-07
see you later..love you...
yeah love you too...
damn i hate him...
sheesh she's so is not on my top list...
as soon as he is out of sight.i'll never see him again..tee hee...
oh good sh'e about to step infront of an on comming car...

 

by warped_angel
10-12-07
aw man the plane ripped open...!
dude i hate when this happens...
did you say you hate when this happens ?
yup..! thats what i said...
dude how could you say you hate this... when this happpens..?
i did'nt want to yell at the top of my lungs...i want my mommy....

 

by warped_angel
10-12-07
um the zombies are about to attack...
they sure is...
wann'a do the nasty before we die..?
no thanx....
why not..?
because yer a republican...i'aint get'n screwed by another republican before i die...!

 

by warped_angel
10-12-07
haw haw..i can't tell if it's a boy or a girl...?
you can't..?
no you freak i can't...!
i can tell you how to tell the defference...
yeah...how tinkerbell...?
just suck my dick and find out..!

 

by warped_angel
10-12-07
see the people over there...
yeah what about them..?
they are so strange...
now that you mention it they are strange....
if i were you i would'nt associate with them...
wow..! thanks for the warning...!

 

by warped_angel
10-12-07
wow mom and dad just left for the weekend sis..lets throw a party...
wellll....
com'on..lets party...
welll.....
god damn it you say yes or i'll slap you in the face again...!

 

by warped_angel
10-12-07
halt who goes there...?
hold still...
i know your out there somewhere....
don't move...
hmmm must'a been a false alarm....
as soon as he lets his guard down i stab him through the head...

 

by warped_angel
10-12-07
don't open that door...
hey i can handle it...
there's just to many...
i have a knife...
damn it their johova's witnesses ...!
your right being gang saved is my worst fear....

 

by warped_angel
10-13-07
you know if you treat me right..i'll last for years...
sniff sniff i know...
if we don't have this talk now who knows what could happen next...
please..sob...i'll do better
i don't mind you choking me all the time..but damn...
ok..ok..i'll go pick up a hooker every once in a while...

 

by warped_angel
10-13-07
PIG !
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah ah aha ha ha ah aha aha ha aha ha aha ah ahaaa..!
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ah aha ha aha aha ha aha aha aha aha aha aha aha aha aha aha aha ahaaa...!
eat me...!
ha hah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha h..stop it yer' kill'in me....

 

by warped_angel
10-13-07
um...scuse'me..are you a hooker...?
what just cause i live in the prjects you just assume i'm a hooker..?
i'm sorry....
15 $
how much for anal..?

 

by warped_angel
10-13-07
jesus... it's a rat..!
no i'm a squirrel...
what you do'n in the bathroom...
same as you...
ha ha ha ha a gay squirrel..ha ha ha ha ha...
bite me...!

 

by warped_angel
10-13-07
hmmmmm...
hhmmmm....
i wonder whom is wishing on our sun as i ponder...?

 

by warped_angel
10-13-07
dude no one is safe anymore..ya' know..
i have a feeling the murderer is goin' to strike very soon...
wow are you psychic....?
no i'm the murderer...
that explains why have the feeling i'm about to die...

 

by warped_angel
10-13-07
wow satan works here...
wow a punk rocker wann'be works here...
haha ok you got me on that one dude...so you like workin' here..?
naw it sux....
so... you want to go have sex in the bathroom...?
dude i thought you'd never ask...

 

by warped_angel
10-13-07
damn the boss...
yeah damn the boss...
man i wish he'd just drop dead...
yeah drop dead...so dead that he'd be dead and stuff....
i think you should go in there and tell that bastard off....!
i'm going in there and tellin' that bastard off....!

 

by warped_angel
10-13-07
hey blondie....
mr scott...
if you come over here i'll push your stool in for you....
damn it scotty....
if you come home with me..i'l widen your assets..
you bastards..! i can hear you laughin'..!

 

by warped_angel
10-13-07
you bastard father joe..!
timmy...
how could you do this to me..!
i am a cotholic priest....
then you should be all over me like poverty is on the world..!
timmy just a few priest are pediphiles...now get the hell out of my church...

 

by warped_angel
10-13-07
son why did you program the robot to kick my ass...?
i don't know..thoought it would be funny i guess..
and was it funny...?
hell yeah it was...way funny dude...
go to your room son...
what ever old man..i got to upload that footage on u-tube anyway...

 

by warped_angel
10-13-07
damn it....
think fast elmer..think fast...! hmmmmmmmm...
admit it elmer there's just no way to explian the death of 3 fire chiefs in one week...

 

by warped_angel
10-13-07
bring it on..! i can kick all your axes..!

 

by warped_angel
10-13-07
hey lady you ran me over..
oh my...
is that all you can say..?
gee i guess i could give you a blow job...
it's a start..but you have to put out as well...
jeepers you run someone over they think they own you...

 

by warped_angel
10-13-07
ouchie you poked me in the eye with that thing...
sorry lady....
well what are you going to do about it..?
well if you step inside there i can screw you...
what...?
gee it worked in the last cartoon i just thought it would work here too...

 

by warped_angel
10-13-07
wow...!
cool huh..?
yeah way cool....!
who knew condoms came in annimal shapes...!

 

by warped_angel
10-13-07
your a nija are'nt you...?
yes i am...
and your a chicken...
suck it dry bitch...!

 

by warped_angel
10-13-07
well Mrs finley..i know what you just saw.might look strange but ...
hi mom..
she's dailing the phone...
yeah...
think she's calling the cops..?
duh....

 

by warped_angel
10-13-07
really...?
yes really...
i didn't know that...!
well i'm off now....
who knew you could put your sperm in a cat before you donated it...!

 

by warped_angel
10-13-07
37....
38...
38...mice..and the day is'nt half over...
we pee in your mouth when your asleep...

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