All comics by wildjesus

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by wildjesus
1-26-05
Woah......why does the place look so different......?
maybe because it's clean!
No way!......Dave actually helped clean up, that's messed up.....
No you idiot! I did all the cleaning!
but why? couch guys are supposed to be lazy, ignorant and sometimes crazy.....they don't clean things man....
Well.......I really needed a smoke and i couldn't get one anywhere so I went nuts and cleaned your whole house looking for one..

 

by wildjesus
1-27-05
So what happened at the dealer's place?
Well at first it was going great but then......
But why raisins?
Well penguin said that if you smoke raisins you get crazy high....
ya think......
he said he seen it on T.V before.......so it must be true!

 

by wildjesus
1-27-05
This raisin shit is awesome.....
I can't believe the penguin had a good idea....
A couple hours later....
Man that was intense! I think I'm gonna catch some sleep.......Peace Out!
yeah! I was freaking out....
You realize that I made the whole raisin thing up right!
Your Evil.....

 

by wildjesus
1-27-05
Hey Ken! How you been doing?
Well I've been a little pissed cause all you guys are wacked and half the time you don't make any fucking sense...
That's pretty rough......you really should talk to these wacked friends of yours and tell them they are pissing you off!
but.....your one of the people I was talking about......ah nevermind.....
I Get IT!........You wanna smoke raisins right?
You really are seeing penguins and shit aren't you?.......that's sad

 

by wildjesus
1-27-05
Since this is the 50th Roomies strip created I have decided to have a Special Public Service Announceme
Smoking Cigarettes KILLS People!
Just smoke excessive amounts of Weed! It's better for everyone!

 

by wildjesus
1-31-05
This is great.....I'm so baked
Woah, you look unusually happy.......What gives?
I'm finally experiencing a good point in my life......is that so wrong?
You do realize that drugs won't make ya happy!
Drug induced happiness is just the same as real happiness....

 

by wildjesus
1-31-05
Do you ever sometimes feel like we are slipping away from reality?
Hmmm.....
Death To Stoners!
What the fuck?
Well?
sometimes....

 

by wildjesus
1-31-05
Ah!......help me! please.......
What the hell is going on?
Mmmmm.......brains....
HOLY SHIT! it's a fucking zombie......and he just brutally slaughtered someone..
.........no......brains......
Sweet! I gotta tell Dave about this, he'll love it!

 

by wildjesus
1-31-05
Hey guys let me in! It's Maclean....
Maclean.....like the magazine?
How about Maclean your friend from town who comes to visit bearing great amounts of pot...
Oh......that Maclean! Now I remember....
Your so predictable!
You did say pot right?

 

by wildjesus
1-31-05
It's about time ya came to visit man! I almost didn't know what you looked like anymore...
I know......but at least I came bearing the best gift a friend can give!
Oh Maclean! You sure know how to make an entrance!
Thanks! I would have had more pot but I got a little bored on the way in...
Extreme amount of bongs later....
Holy shit Maclean.......27 bongs......your trying to kill me....
Actually it was 28 so stop being such a pussy and finish your bong!

 

by wildjesus
2-01-05
Maclean and Jesus after their steady session....
So there was all these frogs eveywhere and they make really weird noises when you shoot them....
oh yeah and then you have to run through a river of dead people....
...and they put a bag over his head and just started beating the fuck outta him...
....then he flips up the guns and fires I shot into his left eye...
.....Videogames kick ass!
you were talking about a game......?

 

by wildjesus
2-01-05
It's kinda weird I haven't seen penguin lately
I bet he's looking for me
I sorta wanted to smoke some pot and hang out with penguin
I can probably do this for hours
I should look for penguin! He could be lost or hurt or even too drunk to walk home

 

by wildjesus
2-01-05
So whatcha doing?
What the hell do you think i'm doing! Probably the same fucking thing i've been doing for a week now!
You sound a little stressed.....
All I get to do is lay on the couch, play video games and eat! why would I be stressed?
because.....you don't smoke pot! It's very sad!
I need to get away from these idiots

 

by wildjesus
2-02-05
Isn't that so awesome......?
You think that's awesome you should hear about my acid flashback on the moon...
Jesus's acid flashback...
This is so awesome....I can't believe I'm really here.....
You gotta be fucking kidding me!
Hand over your money and your drugs!

 

by wildjesus
2-03-05
So what's on the agenda today?
Well I don't really know what an agenda is........but I am planning a trip to town tonight!
Why are you going to town?
Well.........Hobbit and Tyler wanna go into town to search for some good drugs and then we plan on going to meet up with some friends and partying all weekend!
Ah man! that sounds awesome, i wish I didn't have to work!
Oh well! more drugs for me! too bad sucker! I'll definitely let ya know how much fun we had........Ahahahaha

 

by wildjesus
2-07-05
Ok now, we really need to go to the store to get some food and supplies. Do you think you can make it to the store?
Sure, it's only like 2 blocks away....
On his way to the store.....
That sure was a big joint.....
Yeah, that's awesome penguin!......by the way.......what was I doing again?
Somewhere in the desert.....
So what's it like to be an idiot....?
I'm sure the store is around here somewhere....

 

by wildjesus
2-07-05
What the hell are we gonna do?
Well.....let's see, we are lost in the middle of the desert with no food or supplies.....
Your ideas are always so great....
What can I say.....I have a knack for problem solving....
Let's go swimming to pass the time!
How about we concentrate on more important things like........SURVIVAL!

 

by wildjesus
2-07-05
What took ya so long? It's been like two days...
Well....I met penguin on the sidewalk took a trip with him, then I got lost and ended up In a desert type area and we kinda got stoned......
You and your stupid fucking delusions! Did you at least get our food?
No.....
You were gone for two whole days and the store is almost within eyesight from here and you still didn't get any supplies?
Well me and penguin spent the money on munchies......it seemed like a much better idea at the time.....

 

by wildjesus
3-01-05
So what's with this slack ass work?
I know! we haven't made a new comic in a while
It's like the comic creator has been just sitting on his ass for a while now...
That lazy bastard! How are we gonna get paid if we aren't working?
What the hell.....
Looks like our comic guy is back! Oh Yeah.......Show Me The Money!

 

by wildjesus
3-01-05
It's great to be back at work
Hey!.......How you doin?
I'm sorry are you speaking to me?
I sure am talking to you beautiful!
What a dumbass

 

by wildjesus
3-01-05
So what's your name cute thing?
I'm sorry I don't talk to stupid people....
I'm actually really smart and witty but the pot kinda slows me down a little....
only a little.....?
Anyways.......I'd do anything for a beautiful woman! Just name it and I will obey......
Ok.......how bout you go play in traffic....

 

by wildjesus
3-01-05
So.......how bout we stop all this romantic stuff and get right down to business?
Does it involve me hitting you?
Well......
Nevermind! I wouldn't want to ruin your already damaged brain....
I was thinking more like shooting each other with animal tranquillizers and fucking like stoned test bunnies........BONG!
Are you trying to make me hurt you?

 

by wildjesus
3-01-05
Well since the Tranquillizers are out how bout you just come smoke pot with me?
Well I wouldn't mind some weed......Ok then! just don't think about touching me or i'll rip your arms off!
Half an hour later....
...and then penguin jumped up and stole all of Dave's pot, it was very funny even though I got blamed for it....
Your actually not half bad when you don't act like a dumbass.....
It's funny, that's what my mom always said.....
If only he was better looking

 

by wildjesus
3-01-05
So are ya gonna tell me your name now....?
Well since you've managed to not be an idiot for longer than 10 minutes.........my name is Kara
Kara......that's a beautiful name.....it's so original.......your so hot!
Well it's a start I guess.....
What's a start...?
At least he's too dumb to do anything to hurt me.......plus he's kinda cute when he's confused....

 

by wildjesus
3-08-05
Where have you been lately?
Man you'll never guess what happened....
So a beautiful girl actually talked to you........I don't know.......it sounds kinda far fetched
I know......at first I thought she was gonna hit me like they usually do.....
You mean she didn't hit ya?
Well..........not right away!

 

by wildjesus
3-08-05
So let me get this straight......you are now dating a girl that is good looking and smokes pot and she doesn't think your a dumbass......?
Well.......I'm not positive she doesn't think I'm a dumbass.....
that makes a little more sense....
Hey! Just because I have a short term memory problem, randomly say incoherent words, and talk to a pot smoking penguin does not make me a dumbass!
ok........
It just means I'm special......

 

by wildjesus
3-08-05
Hello.....Is this where Jesus lives?
So, I think we should try sliding down the stairs on a crazy carpet again.....
Is anyone gonna come open the door since I'm just standing out here!
Man....I must be wrecked I keep hearing this familar female voice that I should know....
Do you actually try to be an dumbass or does it just come naturally?
Hmmm.......Is this a trick question?

 

by wildjesus
3-08-05
Ok! We have to talk about something important! You are not allowed to steal pot from my girlfriend!
Really......Why for?
Well.....I really care about this girl and I don't want you to cause trouble and blame me for everything like usual....
But.....not even a little! Ok, Ok since you feel so strongly about it I promise I won't!
That's awesome buddy! Thanks, I gotta go but i'll talk to ya later!
Hmmm......He didn't say anything about stealing pot from him and Dave, Ahahaha.........Sucker!

 

by wildjesus
3-08-05
Hey Tyler! Have you seen Jesus anywhere?
Yeah! He mumbled something about spending time with Kara or some weird shit like that.......I wasn't really listening to him
So he's at his girlfriend's place.....
What the Hell! Jesus has a real live girlfriend.......your just messing with me right?
I know! I didn't believe it either......and the weirdest thing is.......she's Hot!
That's unbelieveable!....Jesus is nuts, I mean he talks to fucking penguins! I have now lost faith in mankind......We're all going to Hell!

 

by wildjesus
3-08-05
Thanks for the killer Birthday party man! You definitely went all out! I didn't even recognize half the people there!
No prob buddy! Birthdays are meant to be enjoyed!
Now we are gonna have a unbirthday party! and to start things off.......we are gonna smoke a good helping of Maclean bongs!
You always know just what to say man! Bring on the drugs!
2 hours later......
Woah.......I don't even remember how old I am.......too baked......must find munchies........Mmmmm humans......Whoops I mean don't pay any attention to me!
Your so funny Maclean! I'm almost postive you just said you wanted to eat people......Hmmmmm I always wondered what penguin would taste like.......does that make me a bad person?

 

by wildjesus
3-08-05
Hey, John MC! What's been happening man I haven't seen you in a while.....
Just the usual......talking to annoyingly stupid people over the phone working tech support!
Wow! sounds like fun......Not! So are ya up for a little catch up session?
Hell yeah buddy! Pot is one of my only escapes from the voices of dumb people......
An undetermined amount of time later.....
Catching up is awesome........especially when it involves being stoned outta my mind for a good couple of hours........you definitely needed a break from work!
This is great! We will have to do this more often.......Hmmm......you don't happen to remember where I live do ya?

 

by wildjesus
3-14-05
At Dave's freshly dug grave.....
I can't believe he's really gone....
But didn't you push him in front of that truck?
Well........Yeah but I figured he'd get back up
It was a transfer truck.......there' s no way he would've survived, he was splattered all over the road!
Oh Well! It was pretty funny when they had to stop traffic just to pick up all the pieces!
Hell Yeah! It also means we have the house and his dope to ourselves! Let's go smoke till we can't remember his name!

 

by wildjesus
3-14-05
Whew.....we finally got rid of all that junk that was taking up space in the house!
You mean Dave's old stuff....
Who?
Dave.....Ya know the roomate you had before you brutally killed him!
He lived here? I thought he was just homeless and needed friends or something
Your evil!

 

by wildjesus
3-14-05
This is a break from our regularly scheduled comics!
To provide people out there with some handy personal advice!
Do you know who your friends are? OR Do you think you know who your friends are?
That's quite the question when ya think about it!
I'm just here to let everyone know that just because someone calls you a friend and pretends to be there for you doesn't mean that deep down they aren't just shallow two faced bastards!
Amen Brother! Tell it like it is!

 

by wildjesus
4-04-05
Well it looks like we're back by popular demand....
Wow people must really love us!
I think it's because of my extreme wit and good looks
Nah.....there's no way that's possible!
I wonder why we are such a success then.......?
I think it's because of your extreme stupidity and the amazing way you manage to fuck up everything you do........but that's just me!

 

by wildjesus
4-04-05
Somewhere on the streets of Jesus's hometown...
Wow this town is boring as hell....
I wish something exciting would happen....
Yeah this town sucks!
It's sad....

 

by wildjesus
4-04-05
Well now.....where did my local drug dealer go?
Hmmm.....
Sorry I'm late...
What the hell are you doing here?
I'm exploring new business opportunities! So ya want some weed or what?

 

by wildjesus
4-08-05
I wonder what's taking penguin so long?
Meanwhile down the street....
Well we found two pounds of Marijuana in that alley back there, How do you explain that...?
Well there is this guy......
15 minutes later....
Every damn time.....

 

by wildjesus
4-08-05
I can't believe you got me arrested.....
You'll get over it!
I could of been in serious trouble if they didn't think I was too stupid to be a drug dealer...
Ya see! being a dumbass can pay off occasionally......no harm done!
After a steady session....
You always know how to make me feel better!
Ha! it's a good thing I robbed the police evidence locker while they were busy arresting him......Sucker!

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