All comics by xxausrottenxx

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by xxausrottenxx
10-09-03
oh my god, dude...i am so sorry, instinct just kicked in, and...well you know
dude, its ok, its punk
i mean, you were never gonna get laid anyway
i guess, but i only have one leg, i dont suppose ill be living very much longer
this is so fucking stupid
ah mother fucking trash can, and damn this awkwardly misshapen body of mine, this is not one of my good days
man, thats where i kept my hypodermic needles, and the mixoma virus

 

by xxausrottenxx
10-09-03
hey kids, this is your best pal, telling you that your only cool if you smoke lots and lots of cigarettes!!
cigarettes get you lots and lots of sweet sweet poontang
....ever heard of triple penetration?
that is sooooooo falic
cigarettes get you straight As!
my name is darcie, and i got all As cuz i smoke alot
she sure did, AN A IN NICE ASS! (oh crap i said the loud part soft and the soft part loud)

 

by xxausrottenxx
10-13-03
president bush, in a re-election effort, embarks on a tour of 3rd world countries
hey there little boy,
all the things she said, running through my head
post-war iraq (note:not a 3rd world country but bush forgot about that since he bombed the crap outta them)
....its not like it was "my" decisison
dude this is north dakota....
china (note: president bush doesnt know what a 3rd world country is)
wait, is there still the containment policy, or isnt there?....damn that crack addiction throughout high school
i dont speak english

 

by xxausrottenxx
10-14-03
*sigh*
whats wrong?
what do you mean whats wrong? i just farted
oh.......
....
oh ok i get it now

 

by xxausrottenxx
10-14-03
you know, theres a reason why were always the first pick when you make these things
oh really?
yes, and its known as AFFIRMATIVE ACTION!!!
affirmative action, eh, well that could explain it, but it doesnt explain that....
?????????????????????
nu uh!
yes huh!

 

by xxausrottenxx
10-15-03
....22 mortimer ave. so i guess this is the place......it looked alot more pleasant in the brochure
oh well, so i guess i gotta scare something
.....22 mortimer ave. i guess this is the place, i guess i better get to work
suspense??
umm.....
um.....

 

by xxausrottenxx
10-15-03
well this sure is awkward
yer tellin me, i mean, just think of the irony, im here to save people souls, and you're here to make them crap their pants
so, ya, satan sent me here
dude that guy is so overrated, i mean, dressing up lost souls in white outfits, i mean come on, the civil right movement is over
notice my four cocks
touche my friend... touche

 

by xxausrottenxx
10-17-03
well lets see what kinda goods satan equipped you with!
...
boo!! agh dammit backwards again
wow, that was so scary i forgot to laugh
oh go crucify yourself jesus boy

 

by xxausrottenxx
10-17-03
well, lets see what you got, what, are you gonna nice me to death
oh youll see
take that, mr. fourcocks
wham! boom! straight to the m.....heaven
oh, great
uh............hi?

 

by xxausrottenxx
10-18-03
ASK ME A QUESTION!!!
geez ok um....ok i got one.......why did everyone randomly get into iron maiden?
whos a maiden?
you know, the heavy metal band from the 80s?
the 1880s?
NEVERMIND!!!

 

by xxausrottenxx
10-19-03
I
hey robb what would you call the flintstones if they were black
hhm, i have no clue
HATE
niggers
........
RACISM
haha now the racist is on fire!!!!

 

by xxausrottenxx
10-26-03
i guess you all knew, or if you didnt, you know now, that my name is robb, and im robs alter ego
and im tha cigarette guy, i dont really know why im here, but i just did an 8 ball of coke
its not that im a bad person, its just that alot of people/things piss me off, unfortunately most of these things come from the people im around most
rated arrrrrggh!! get it...heh....rated "R", its pirate humor
i think you see what i mean
im so stoned right now

 

by xxausrottenxx
10-28-03
in government class, i had to make a kid book about the bill of rights, and it sucked, partly cuz i cant draw, and cuz i cant think like a retard when im sober
id hate to think what would happen if i had to read it to little kids
A CIVIL LAWSUIT, COME ONE YOU LITTLE FUCKERS, GET IT IN YOUR HEADS!!!!
when i grow up, my mommy says im gonna be a prostitude
id hate to think what would happen if i had to read it to george bush
no....no....im reading you a book about th....nevermind
the war on terror is fully justified with killing iraqi citizens, hoping one of them is saddam hussein

 

by xxausrottenxx
10-29-03
how come for some reason, in any situation, its always funnier to have jesus saying the phrase instead of some other stupid character, and i have an example
i could use these guys
why do you keep your arms like that?
cuz im not allowed to jack off anymore
or good old prince of peace
why do you keep your arms like that?
cuz im not allowed to jack off anym.....god dammit robb!

 

by xxausrottenxx
10-30-03
holy shit man, i havent seen you in a while, what have u been doin?
eh, a little this, a little that
ah nothing just people keep pissin me off about everything and i.....
wait........
DANCEPARTYDANCEPARTYDANCEPARTY
...fuck...
DANCE PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

by xxausrottenxx
10-30-03
i have a government project that i dont plan on doing
why not?
cuz its gay
i cant believe you just said that!
affirmative action, dude
oh right i forgot

 

by xxausrottenxx
10-30-03
hey wait a minute, affirmative action doesnt work for homosexuals
lemme ask you something
if i was hitler, would i care if you were gay or asian?
i suppose not
the president is a republican, i takes what i can gets
your so stupid, george bush doesnt even have a mustache

 

by xxausrottenxx
10-30-03
mr president, i dont get it, we have like negative 5 gajillion dollers right now, and somehow were giving 70 billion dollars to a country we just destroyed
you gotta think about it like a golf game, less means more, so right now were kickin ass
thats the worst logic ive ever heard
hey i dont see anyone suckin my dick
i guess so, but this situation is ruining more than the competentcy of your presidency
oh please, i cant even get it up anymore, do you think im worried about competentcy?

 

by xxausrottenxx
11-02-03
hey man, i have a question
(they always come crawling back) um, WHAT IS YOUR QUESTION MY SON?
if a bunch of parents say something is right, does it make it right?
gimme an example
like say if a group of old people think someone fucked their daughter, does it mean it really happened, even if it didnt happen, i mean they think their kids are retards anyway
id suspect so, i mean they did crucify me and all, and those fuckers never told me why

 

by xxausrottenxx
11-03-03
...so you gonna buy me beer or what?
you must realize the song of the forest, only then will you be one with yourself
hey BUDDY! i want beer dammit!
theyre on to me man, satellites all around me man, the man is everywhere, they want to bring me down
fuck this shit, im goin dumpster diving at beer arena
the man.....man........

 

by xxausrottenxx
11-03-03
i mean, these are comics about my alter ego, the guy who always has something to say, are you saying i should stop making those, do you realize the repercussions of stopping
what do you mean rob, what would happen??
would you really want to live in a world of retarded people supporting the republican party, ignoring facism, and supporting athletics?
....oh god
i think you see what i mean
wait wait, so what your saying is every misfortune ive come by, is your fault, you put it there.........i love you......

 

by xxausrottenxx
11-12-03
mr president, i have a question, how come, just because of my ethnicity, ill be given higher SAT scores and a better chance at getting accepted to college?
thats an interesting question, little girl, throughout history us white americans have been thought of as elite, and in turn smarter, and we think we should give something to our ethnic unfortunatelys
but what about white trash? theyre white, and dumb as hell
ah, but see, white is the key word, the white makes them smarter!
are you prepared to make the statement that you are a nazi?
nazi is such a harsh word, i like to call it patriot

 

by xxausrottenxx
11-12-03
so, howd it go
i found out that affirmative action isnt the absolute answer after all
how so?
well its like this, why take bonus points for us being non whites, i mean were smarter than any of those dumbfuck college kids anyway
asian pride?
just be glad you arent white trash......

 

by xxausrottenxx
11-16-03
man i wish i could change my facial expression, cuz im really sad right now
whats wrong dude?
robb never uses me in his comics anymore, i feel really left out, i dont think he loves me anymore...
that asshole! im gonna go have a talk with him right now!
hey fag, whats up with not including mr smokes anymore, what? are you too cool to hang out with him?
i switched to marlboro..

 

by xxausrottenxx
11-16-03
actually ive taken these comics to a more political humor standpoint, ive realized that using regular humor for my own selfish needs is wrong, i need to reach out to the people, ya know?
i cannot believe you, youd just abandon your friends, to make jokes about politics that arent even funny because your dumb and dont know anything about politics except what affirmative action is?
id say its because the smarter i talk in these comics, the more punk it makes me
but robb, you dont need to be punk, we all loved you for how you used to be!
im sorry, here ya go
lips, legs, tits, and ass, just how i like it!
im a dinosaur

 

by xxausrottenxx
11-17-03
NONE SHALL PASS
heh..
what the fuck man, im trying to be all divine and scary, and this is what i get
look at yourself man, your in a fucking bathtowel and you have gay little angel wings and a little pussy dagger, how could i possibly be scared
its to show off my abs
dude your so gay

 

by xxausrottenxx
11-20-03
mom, im telling you, i have no clue how to use your cell phone
rob, its not a.....
the damn thing keeps telling me what to do, and you know how badly i handle orders
thats not my...
and it keeps beeping at me and when i tell it to stop it wont it just keeps beeping
rob thats your sisters 'bop it' toy.......dumbass

 

by xxausrottenxx
11-20-03
ok man, you really have to start thinking before you do things
rob i dont really think its that big of a deal
not a big deal? children in bangkok get arrested for those sorts of things!
its not even my fault, i was hornswaggled i tell ya!
just dont tell anyone, ok?
meow?

 

by xxausrottenxx
11-26-03
neeaah, this movie is fucking stupid!
agh what the fuck is this?
were watching jaws and it sucks hahaha!!! buy one of our coffee mugs or mousepads!
but....youre not even funny
yes we are! it shows by the large amount of Mystery science theatre merchandise that weve sold over the years
yes, but have u ever looked at the kind of people that buys your stuff......

 

by xxausrottenxx
11-26-03
*burp*
hey mom im home and.........no.....NO
MOM WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS COCKROACH DOING IN OUR HOUSE!!
well....mommy went out last night, and mommy had too much to drink, and when mommy woke up i had a baby on my lap, and i couldnt just leave it there
its ok hun, maybe this one will turn out right
oh fuck you mom, fuck you

 

by xxausrottenxx
12-03-03
hey rob i gots a question
yeah?
theres this chick i really like, and i want her to know how much i like her, how did you get your girlfriend?
sing her a song that has her name in it, chicks really dig that
wow rob you really are the smartest dude in the universe, man i cant wait till the next strip so i can bear my undying love to my sweet sweet darcie!

 

by xxausrottenxx
12-03-03
....
DARCIE DARCIE DARLING DEAR YOU LEFT ME CRYING DYING HERE
oh my god that thing is a human being
good job robb, once again your stunning intuition brings in the babes

 

by xxausrottenxx
12-03-03
well, howd it go?
she didnt even think i was alive
i was afraid of that, alright i have one more suggestion
sweet
show her your cock
wow rob i cant believe you actually come up with brilliant plans like that! i cant wait to the next strip where maybe i can rectify this situation with the only impressive thing about me

 

by xxausrottenxx
12-03-03
cameo!!
hello my darling, i come to you with an offer that you cannot refuse
so you think he did it, did he show her his cock, and win her over?
i dont think so, i mean stereotypically my cock is alot bigger and let me tell you the last time i whipped mine out i wasnt aloud to play with jimmy for a long time

 

by xxausrottenxx
12-03-03
And with this magic hat, you'll come alive.
Hotdiggity, I'm alive!
What's the first thing you want to do, Frosy?
Hmmm...
well how the hell was i supposed to know about the civil rights act, i havent been around in 40 years!
dude you asked al sharpton to give you a quote "spit shine and a handjob" those kinda things just arent PC nowadays you freakin moron

 

by xxausrottenxx
12-04-03
wait wait wait, hold on, dont you guys wanna know what happened with me and darcie?
to tell you the truth, its the wonder of suspense that kept me warm, i could care less if you porked that girl or not
but i spent so much time trying to get with her, dont you wanna know how it turned out?
well was it funny?
well it was funny like in one of those romantic comedys with george cloony or the chick from sex and the city
you know what i think, i think youre a fuck, a stupid fuck, thats what you are......fuck

 

by xxausrottenxx
12-04-03
so i started posting on the forum, and i realized that nobody cares about me, at all, but its ok, its not like i want attention anyway
hhm, lets see how they liked my comic, ok one reply "nice try...not" ah well theres one more "what the hell is this??? fuckin newbie"
robbs been crying for like 10 minutes, i wonder why
his mom probably died or something, wanna get high?

 

by xxausrottenxx
12-05-03
And with this magical hat, you'll come alive.
Hotdiggity, I'm alive!
Whats the first thing you want to do, Frosty?
hmmm...
come on....spit him out

 

by xxausrottenxx
12-05-03
And with this magical hat, you'll come alive.
Hot diggity, I'm alive!
What's the first thing you want to do, Frosty?
Hot diggity, I'm alive!
but it was opposite day!
you just dont ask those kind of questions, i mean we had the pope neutered waaaay before the lindenberg baby 'dissapeared'

 

by xxausrottenxx
12-05-03
mr christ, im here to ask the question that everyone wants to know
i see, i knew this day would come
the answer you seek is this, i am heterosexual
i was gonna ask you when the end of the world was, but ok....
are we live?

 

by xxausrottenxx
12-05-03
man this forum shit is addicting, i hope these guys dont think im a douschebag
ooh i got a private message, "hey fag stop making stupid comments on the forum, you newbie!"
thats cool, they dont think im a douschebag

 

by xxausrottenxx
12-05-03
theres one thing i dont understand about the forum that stripcreator has
the forum, dude i just make these comics
for some reason, just cuz im a "newbie" i get the general impression that i dont know what im talking about just cuz im newer to the forum
why should it matter man, my comics are pretty funny
i just want to be liked ya know?
damn why did i make you into such a pussy

 

by xxausrottenxx
12-05-03
....
....
....
....
geez alright you win,you can stop now
oh how i wish i could

 

by xxausrottenxx
12-05-03
hey mom im ho........no no no mom you cant do this!
im finding my inner self, my therapist suggested it
but mom.......you arent supposed to be a hippie again, thats how i was born!
....shit.....
see! no go to the bathroom and clean yourself up

 

by xxausrottenxx
12-05-03
hey robb, what do you want for christmas?
hhhm, lemme see
hhhm...maybe
GOD YES!
we regret to inform you that last night we found mtv icon, carson daly, dead in his hotel room, dressed as a klansmen with scattered "chicks with dicks" magazines laying next to him. cause of death...

 

by xxausrottenxx
12-05-03
who the hell are you?
you ever hear of stress pimples?
no why are you talking to me, agh
you get them when youre stressed out, id watch out if i was you
dont look at me!!
ooh, thats not stress pimples, thats ghonnasyphaherpalades

 

by xxausrottenxx
12-05-03
SHIT IM ON A BALL!
shit im on the ball
i work hard!
im hardly working......in the pants
im asian
i look at butts

 

by xxausrottenxx
12-05-03
if you dont like audioslave your a fag!!!
actually i liked them better as rage agasint th......
WHOAWHOAWHOAWHOA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i only said i liked rage against the machine better
thats a bunch of fuckin fuckshit fuck
what the hells wrong with that
mtv says audioslave is the new rage against the machine and imgonna work my FUCKIN ass off to make sure that audioslave is the new rage against the machine, im makin you an example of the power of mtv

 

by xxausrottenxx
12-05-03
this is a bunch of bullshit, i cant believe im in jail because of personal preferance
what did you say
i talked evil of MTV
shit dude, and i was gonna pay your bail!
WHAT, YOU GAVE IN TO THIS SHIT!
at first i thought it was crap, then i realized if i dont obey them i wont get to see bam margera every sunday night! that would be very punk if i didnt get to see bam margera!

 

by xxausrottenxx
12-05-03
a couple weeks later
mom, i called you 50 times in the past two weeks, where the hell were you?
oh im sorry hun, but i wasnt here, i was at.....
MTV SPRING BREAK BASH LIVE FROM CHERNOBYL!!!
now how did i end up drunk and naked?
ITS SPRING BREAK!!! SPRING BREAK!!!!! ALRIGHT!!! BEERS AND BITCHES
and i dont suppose bam margera was there too?
oh yes i told him i had a son who wasnt punk enough to come so i invited him over....isnt that great news!!

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