All comics by LuckyGuess

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by LuckyGuess
5-16-10
Just fyi.

 

by LuckyGuess
5-16-10
I'm so glad we decided to go to Applebee's.
I don't see any reason why these salads are so sensational.
Apple Walnut Chicken Salad. What the fuck is that? That's like apples and walnuts and chicken, but also like salad or whatever.
I have returned to the sanctity of the knee-deep poop cave.

 

by LuckyGuess
5-25-10
The Heron priest appears to beckon you closer.
I shoot an acid fog at it.
Wait, what?
18 + natch. Rockadoodle.
...arrrrrrrrrrrrgh...
That's the third guy we were supposed to talk to, asshole.
Don't worry, I only bought enough components for two more.

 

by LuckyGuess
5-25-10
We've been pissing around this town for hours. Quit shooting acid fogs at every fucking quest NPC so we can figure out what the hell we're supposed to do.
Why? Jared isn't even trying to railroad us or anything.
Yeah, he's making your choices matter.
That's stupid.
Choices are stupid.

 

by LuckyGuess
5-25-10
The street is filled with both revelers and uneasy skeptics, the Herons calling for all to join in endless celebration.
What is this, one of your raves?
It's more like a street carnival than a rave.
I cast Bigby's questionable yellow pill.
You used all your spells to melt birds.
But this is a joke spell.
This is me joke caring.

 

by LuckyGuess
5-25-10
While Rochester gets his spells back I talk to one of the Herons.
Ah! Welcome, fellow reveler! You must be with the homicidal wizard.
We don't like him.
That may be so, but you are in his company. How can I trust you?
Roll for Diplomacy.
WHERE BE THE TREASURE YARRRR
Uh.

 

by LuckyGuess
5-27-10
The barge floats quietly down the murky waters of the swamp. A feeling of creeping unease pervades the ship.
Inside the living quarters you find a young rogue.
My name is Rochestette.
Since this is your third character this campaign, let's try and
I give the captain a blowjob.

 

by LuckyGuess
5-27-10
Don't do anything I'll make you regret.
I have ranks in seduction and bigass charisma. Gimme that dick.
Fine. You suck his dick. Roll a reflex save.
A reflex save? Why wou
Rochestette, what's that stuff in your hair?
It's an enchantment. Shut up.

 

by LuckyGuess
5-27-10
That's it, I jump in the water to wash off my hair.
Hang on a sec.
Spot and listen checks.
The swamp is full of gnolls.
Do it.

 

by LuckyGuess
5-27-10
The party, still reeling from the tragic and senseless death of Rochestette
I didn't find it tragic.
That chick was a whore.
Still reeling from the untimely death
It was very well timed.
I thought it was hilarious.
Still somewhat amused by the comically swift death of Rochestette, discovers a stowaway among the ship's cargo.
ROCHESTER THE FOURTH, BEST GNOME EVER

 

by LuckyGuess
7-01-10
The arifact is ancient looking, obviously not of Altanian design. There is an eerie silence in the cave around you.
I grab it.
Homie, you've rolled up like thirty million new characters. Don't.
Don't you dare derail the Rochester corpse loot train.
My name is Rochesterol, douchefag.
And after I grab this fucker you're gonna give me my ring of asskicking or whatever back.

 

by LuckyGuess
7-01-10
Rochestallion, heroic knight of the Highplain!
Rochesternon, monk of the floating city we were just in!
Rochestevil, tiefling assassin of... uh... where are we now? That place with the name on the gates or whatever.
Rochesticle, magical ninja that fucking kills stuff hella legitimately.
I make Rochesticle kick the king's testicles.
Of course you do.

 

by LuckyGuess
7-06-10
Every moment hangs on eternity. I have been here for some time, trapped in the cruel clutches of this prison. How long has it been? I cannot say.
My salvation will never come. Entropy will consume me, and I will remain as a lifeless shell. I have seen the end of all things, and I am afraid.
They're not going to tow your damn car.
You don't know that! I'm in the handyman's spot!

 

by LuckyGuess
8-05-10
Oh god, what did you do to the dog?
I did nothing to the dog! The groomers shaved her to make sure she grew her hair out evenly.
Well fire them. That dog looks fucking terrifying. I would not touch it no matter how much it begs.
It has a poof tail.
I can only imagine what it's doing to her self esteem.
Poof tail.

 

by LuckyGuess
10-08-10
You know, we don't really... uh... we were never close. Is what I'm trying to say.
Are you saying you were never close because you were never close or are you saying you were never close because he developed the automated backscratcher and you never cashed in on it?
He could have called me. I have a cell phone.
I don't know if you know this, but you're kind of a huge fuck. If given the option to work with you, I would say, "Actually, I think I'll pass because that guy is a huge fuck."
Damn, that dude can storm off like a pro.
What a tremendous fuck.

 

by LuckyGuess
12-06-10
Hey bro, got the paperwork. We did great! If the client doesn't get back to us with any changes I want you to finalize it. We need to stay focused on the goal ahead. We're almost out of this!
You mean I'm almost out of this. All you do is get yelled at once every three days and sign my checks.
You mean we sign your checks. This is a team effort. We're a big family.
In that case, stop locking me in the basement and telling everyone who comes over you don't have any kids.
Ha ha ha! That was funny! Man, we're too good!

 

by LuckyGuess
12-06-10
I read the promo bundle you sent me, but I'm still not clear on what you're trying to sell.
I know! Everyone keeps telling us that and it's driving me crazy!
So what exactly are you trying to sell?
That's it! That's the question they ask!
I can't put anything together if I don't know what you're selling.
That's what the promotions team said!

 

by LuckyGuess
12-06-10
Somebody told me you do web design.
I sometimes do page layouts and graphic work.
If I double your salary will you do web design?
Considering how cheap I am I don't think I'm willing to learn C+ and Java for a twenty dollar bonus.
How does thirty sound?

 

by LuckyGuess
12-06-10
Why don't we meet at the home office to discuss your contract further?
Sounds good to me. I'll see you there.
Huh. This is a lot more home than office.
nooooooooo

 

by LuckyGuess
12-06-10
How is the form coming along?
Form's coming along fine. Pulled an all nighter but I got the meat of it done. Gonna take some time for myself before I go ba-
WHAT?! I NEED THAT RIGHT NOW!! THIS IS BAD MAN THIS IS REALLY BAD!!!!
Your instructions say the 15th.
Oh. Right. Yeah, I realized I fucked that up last week.

 

by LuckyGuess
12-06-10
Okay, so lets go over what you still owe me.
There's a service bundle for prospective clients, some promotional pamphlets, an ad packet and a motivational poster for the lunch room.
...And also that thing where you have to interview an employee and make his answers into a funny pamphlet.
We never discussed that at all until just now when you said that. Are you planning on paying me for this allegedly hilarious pamphlet?
No, but I figured it's fun and short, so that's basically like time off.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-05-11
AND SO, WITH A NEW LEASE ON LIFE AND A SONG IN HIS HEART, OUR HERO SETS FORTH WITH NOBLE INTENTIONS AND A SOUND PLAN OF FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY
But Lucky, where will you go now?!
I'M OFF TO REPAIR THE RELATIONSHIP WITH MY FATHER. AWAAAAAAAAAAY
AND SO HE DID, AND WITH HIS BRAWN AND WITS SIMULTANEOUSLY SAVED TO LEAVE THE CITY AND RETURN TO A PLACE WHERE HE COULD SCORE QUALITY ACID
Would you please put up half your savings for an impossibly lucrative investment?
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG? FATHER SON BONDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING
THIS COURSE OF ACTION WOULD LATER BE REVISED IN COMMITTEE
The anal steambot was a total wash. If I were you I'd start looking for a second job to earn back that hit you took.
I WILL FEAST ON YOUR BONES

 

by LuckyGuess
1-05-11
Hello, Party Pizzazz? This is Lucky Guess. I came in yesterday to ask about the part-time opening?
Oh yeah, that kid with the big pupils. Tell me, can you tie a balloon animal?
I volunteered at a kinduva sortuva fair once, so I can work the tanks.
Did you make any animals at the fair?
Everyone kept asking for Cthulhu or String Theory, so no.
We'll get back to you.

 

by LuckyGuess
1-05-11
Why so glum, glumdrum?
I think my copy of Art Deco in Elvish Home Design is overdue.
I thought I heard you're poor again. Isn't that pretty terrible?
Not really. It gave me more of an excuse to study vodou in the back of the library.
You practice vodou?
Killing my own father seemed a little too oedipan for me, but that dude is going to have itchy feet like you don't even know.

 

by LuckyGuess
2-04-11
Snorg catch Eagle on last three holes.
No Snorg, you can't just say that and make it true.
Snorg see you checking out girl at snack bar. Snorg old high school friends. Snorg can hook you up.
At some point I have to put my foot down about your pushy behavior, Snorg. No.
Snorg lying about girl at snack bar anyway. She way out of your league.
Eat a dick, Snorg. Eat a fucking dick.

 

by LuckyGuess
2-11-11
God damn, the traffic out here is horrible. This construction must be
A TRAFFIC CHECKPOINT FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
Sir, why does your car smell like the late 70's?
It's a time car. I'm from the past.

 

by LuckyGuess
9-15-11
You're telling me you're the only guy in a house full of hot chicks?
Yes.
That is awesome. That is like a porno movie.
Have you ever seen nine girls sync up their periods? Do you know what that's like?
Imagine a werewolf movie where the monster is some dude and everybody else is a werewolf.

 

by LuckyGuess
10-06-11
And so they were all like the schedules don't sync up and I went to the lady and she was like blah blah blah blah and then
I had my ears washed out by a nurse and a bunch of stuff came out into a little ear bowl.
That wasn't today though.

 

by LuckyGuess
10-27-11
Don't you have a job to be at or something?
Nah. Quit my last job. Couldn't handle my supervisors.
So... what are you doing for work?
A truck hit my house the other day and one of the guys who stopped by to take a look offered me a job with a Peruvian Shaman.
Also I do a ton of drugs.

 

The city is saved from evil once again! Thanks, Harlequin Fetus!
dbkshfdv
by LuckyGuess, 10-29-11

 

by LuckyGuess
2-22-12
Ah, young me. It's been a while.
Hi old me! Any advice to help me prepare for the future?
Don't pick at your arms. Ladies like a smooth arm.

 

by LuckyGuess
5-17-17
it's been five years. are you still sad and poor and unfunny
life turned out okay, actually. i'm pretty successful. make the news once or twice a year. what about you?
we haven't talked in half a decade. all the characters from these comics are gone now
oh
oh this is gonna be sad now isn't it

 

by LuckyGuess
5-17-17
i sure made a lot of comics about girls
all married
some about you
also married
didn't you used to crash your car into trees? like, often?
more like THEY crashed into MY DICK

 

by LuckyGuess
5-17-17
i wonder if any of those old in-jokes are still running
no one will remember you

Showing page 20.

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