All comics by Makin_d_bacon

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-08-17
So...not satisfied, eh?
I want even BIGGER breasts!
That can be arranged....but it will COST you!
You know I'm broke! So I guess you'll want to fuck me then! Right?
The thought HAD crossed my mind.
Ok...but you'll probably need to remove my cock first!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-08-17
From whence have you come, filthy creature?
I just crawled out of Phreaky's Vag! What about it?
Excuse me whilst I endeavor to...
...break the news to her customers at the brothel!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-08-17
OK ladies...I'll blow a whistle when all the men are aboard! THEN... it's "All hands on DICK"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-09-17
Don't you realize that book is up side down? How can you read it?
I can't!
So why not just do the obvious?
Oh WOW! COOL!
Not what I'd have done but hey....!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-09-17
Ladies & gentlemen, please welcome the great......."Mr. Gene Simmons"
*cricket, cricket*
...formerly of "KISS"!...?????
What's wrong with you people?
The bitches are overwhelmed...as USUAL!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-09-17
For the last time..."You're FIRED!" Leave!...Scram!...Beat it! ...GET OUT!
?
OK then...you're forcing me to say it in a way even YOU'LL understand!
Huh?
That friggin Sanderson; he always FIRES the deaf guys!
Oh...now I get it!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-09-17
What the...?
It went down like this......
In a sleazy motel room.....
You said $100, right? I'm not so sure...
Not so sure about WHAT?
Well, your voice IS rather deep and they say that a large adams apple might mean....
Stop RIGHT THERE, ass-hole!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-10-17
...in "Disfunction Junction"
Daddy...I think momma hung herself from the ceiling fan!
Don't make me laugh Lucy...my lips are chapped.
No REALLY! She's hanging by the neck & spinning around too.
Timmy...go shut off the ceiling fan for daddy, OK?
Should I cut her down, Pops?
In a bit, son. It's kinda fun to watch Rover lick her feet!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-11-17
Don't tell me....?
Yup! Another letter to Santa!
Put it with the rest!
OK but I'm afraid he's falling behind in his responses.
Here's one more! Say...why aren't you writing these poor kids back?
YOU ever try writing with friggin mittens on?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-11-17
...are desensitized to violence!
Wha cha gonna do?
THIS!
Whoa!
Well?
Bitchin...kinda fucked up....but bitchin!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-12-17
There is the home of my "Medium". I must seek her advice!
So, Madam Zola, tell me about my new potential business partner. What do you see?
I see some very strange things. I see a garden hose. I also see a LowRider and a 1/2 chromed trailer hitch as well as a golf ball! A very ODD combination!
Congratulations...."Partner"! When can you start?
Soon as you unzip them trousers, big boy!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-12-17
Fatty arrives at 8 pm.....
Geez...on a scale of 1 -10 Maude is a two, MAYBE!
By 9 pm he's had a few beers...
I dunno, maybe Maude is kinda, sorta more of a five!
But by 10 pm he's WASTED!
Do I WHAT?
"Do ya want yer pooper packed?" Or are ya just gonna keep on teasing ole Fatty, huh Maude?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-13-17
At home with ragu4u & makin_d_bacon
Hey Rags, have you seen the recent stuff on Stripcreator.com?
Are you referring to all the comics from our "MENSA" contributors?
Yup! Geez...what ever happened to all the good old Cretins, racists, pedophiles, misogynists, generally perverted bigots and homophobes?
Nothing! We're right here, as usual!
Oh yeah...how silly of me! *QUEEEEEEEF*
Now excuse me whilst I go beat some kiddie porn out of that jungle bunny, KIKE, dyke at the dirty book store!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-13-17
Open up Betty, I wanna see the new you!
I bet I didn't lose as much as you girl.
C'mon the suspence is killing me...open up!
OK but remember, the one who lost the LEAST buys lunch. Door's open...
Hi, Betty!
I'll get my credit card...you BITCH!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-14-17
So, Mr. Eiger, you just bought 20th Century Fox for 53 Billion bucks, eh?
That's correct!
But you told all us Disney employees money was tight...
Correct again!
So you're either richer than Midas OR just a lying ass-hole!
So far, you're batting a thousand!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-14-17
Stop picking your nose!
I wasn't! I was sniffing the remnants of your pussy!
So THAT'S where you think that finger was, huh?
Whew...for a minute there I thought her "pussy" smelled like shit!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-15-17
Harder Santa, make me cum!
?
Swallow it all you little slut! Good! GOOD to the last drop! hehehe
I bet Santa puts THAT gal on BOTH his lists!
Now from behind! Please Santa!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-15-17
Merry Christmas, infidel!
You have a lot of nerve calling me that!
All non-muslims are infidels & worthy of death!
What a terrible outlook. I'll pray for you!
Don't bother! So, you want the usual?
Pretty much...but I'd also like three fidgit spinners with my condoms! They make great bait!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-15-17
Will we EVER be the "funniest" guys here?
Absolutely!
I mean without having to hire the entire Lithuanian Death Squad to make it happen?
His lack of "edgyness" disgusts me!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-16-17
Please don't hurt me!
You? I don't want YOU! I want your woman.
No problem! I'll go get her for ya!
Huh?
Pul-ease...take me with you!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-16-17
Oh my GOD! This is terrible!
Really? Tell me what happened!
I'm sorry but I can't. If I did I'd have to kill ya!
Bullshit! You TELL me!
So, the cause of death is "curiosity', huh? How's THAT work?
I would tell ya, but then I'd have to ki.....well...you know!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-16-17
...and now with news on the earthquake is our weather gal, Perky Knipples & Tobor, on the scene!
Thanks, Bob. Tell us what you see from there Tobor!
Well Perky...to be perfectly honest...
...if it wasn't for this damned earthquake, I'd be lookin at the finest set of knockers on nightly news!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-17-17
Gene Simmons getting grilled....
Let's hurry this up! My "groupies" await me!
I'd like your reaction Mr. Simmons to the accusation that last month you groped a reporter.
She said I WHAT?
You grabbed her thigh and touched her buttocks.
If that's ALL I did NO WONDER she's pissed at me! These gals just can't get enough of me!
So there you have it folks. Mr. Simmons boiled it down to this statement..."Them bitches just gotta have that bone!"

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-17-17
Years ago........
You're perfect. You'll be our new "Marlboro Man"
Really? What do I have to do?
...the writing was on the wall!
Basically, for the next few decades you smoke 3 packs of Marlboros a day and I photograph you for ads! You OK with that?
Sure! What could possibly go wrong?
Decades later......
Remember Doc, if you want that check make no mention of any damage to his lungs!
What lungs? I couldn't find any!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-17-17
What is THAT?
It's a note from your wife. It says that she's leaving your sorry, cheating ass!
I told you to be more discreet, you moron!
She's gone! Let's do IT!
Not now. I got a headache!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-18-17
They thought it was safe to go out...
Here he comes Rags baby!
I'm so excited. I can hardly wait.
...but for "wanted" men, no such luck!
Did you remember your list?
Don't need one! I got it memorized! Hey!!! Where's he going?
No kiddin? Both of em? Together in the same place?
Quick...what's the area code for our "friends" in Lithuania?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-18-17
Hello? Vilnius? They're both in the K-Mart in West Plains, Missouri right NOW!
Ya? Das is gut.
Can you pull this off in time?
For enough cannolis, Vilnius do ANYTING!
Well?
Let me put it this way...the bacon is burnt and the pasta sauce boiled over! Capice?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-18-17
Even in the Afterlife the "Dynamic Uno"
I think we've been assassinated, Rags. Is THIS heaven? It's awfully warm!
It was that no good Santa. He got the Lithuanians to do his dirty work on us, d_bacon!
known as makin_d_bacon & ragu4u go
All because you bitched about what he got us last year!
Oh? And you were 100% ok with that stuff?
on against all odds...yet to no avail!
I just regifted that "Cooking Pork" book he gave me!
I couldn't do THAT with the "Suicide For Dummies" book he got ME! I gotta find God & get him to turn on the central air!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-18-17
But is it 1/2 way UP or 1/2 way DOWN?
So...are you a REAL redhead?
Are you blind or what?
I mean to say..."Are the rugs truly red"? You know...upstairs & down!
I think I'm in love!
I guess I'll just have to wait till I coax him into the "Holy Hot Tub of Antioch" to find out for sure!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-19-17
So Shiek, is it true Arabia has lifted it's ban on movie theaters?
Absolutely! I personally own 99% of 6 major film studios!
Therefore you want to have a place to show them! Correct?
Absolutely! They have even lifted the porn ban so my 1st porn blockbuster will be out very soon!
Really? Care to share the title?
Since imitation is the greatest form of flattery, I've gone with..."Pallavi Does Pork"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-20-17
So...suspended from school again, eh Trevor?
Yeah...and for NUTHIN!
NUTHIN, huh? Elaborate!
The teacher asked for the scientific name for a young kitten.
Sounds simple enough...unless you tried to be "clever" again.
So "Vulva" ISN'T the scientific name for a pussy?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-20-17
Excuse me. but aren't you Tiger Woods?
Yes I am. Like an autograph?
Hell no! What I want is for you to move your refrigerator box "living quarters" off of the sidewalk!
How quickly they forget!
I could use a shoe shine, tho!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-20-17
So Pops, when are you gonna deal with that bigot problem down there?
WHAT bigot problem?
You can't see all the continued racial tension and disharmony on earth toward people of color?
Nah....I got a guy that handles all that! Here he come now!
No friggin wonder!
Nice tan fella! You DO own a tanning bed...right? I sure hope so...for your sake!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-21-17
Did you see it? God just created a "MAN"!
Truly amazing! But I just can't figure how it survives!
Why? What don't ya get?
How does it breathe through that tiny trunk?
It gets bigger when he washes it.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-21-17
Hey Gilligan...you seen Mary Ann?
Gee, no Skipper! Will Ginger do?
Nah...she's still mad at me, little buddy!
Really? For what this time?
I need some ointment Professor! My vag is raw & swollen!
Then MAKE the Skipper stop using his RIGHT hand, you horny twat!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-21-17
The company is going under, Ted. We need somebody to come in here and turn things around!
I got just the guy who can save our bacon. In fact, he's the very BEST!
Have him in my office by 4pm!
I'm on it!
4 PM
You? Really?
Yes, ME! I must admit tho, the whole "bacon" thing could have been a bit misleading!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-22-17
What? No presents again this year?
Are you still living with that...that...that "Sauce Magnet"?
ragu4u? Yeah! Why?
Then you two can expect NOTHING from ME!
That ass-hole STILL thinks we're fucking, eh d_bacon?
Like Minks, apparantly!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-23-17
Hey d-bacon...come watch this Netflix film called "BRIGHT"! What?
It can't be THAT bad. If it were, the friggin TV would exp....
..lode!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-23-17
Looks like Earth launched "SpaceX"!
Is THAT what that was? I thought it was a noxious cloud!
Maybe it WAS! We better make sure.
Right! Let me consult with our "noxious gas" expert!
That wasn't gas! THIS is "GAS"! *QUEEEEEEEF"
Always with the noisy "demonstrations"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-23-17
So your "life partner" Patty wants a bartending job, eh? Any experience?
Does being a Playboy Bunny count?
So did he give me the job?
Yes, Patrick but....I had to stretch the truth a bit.
So Patty, turn around and let me see the face of my newest...."ass"-et!
OK...but DON'T call me Patty, buddy boy!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-24-17
Not all colors go together. Don't you agree?
So "Color" is a big deal for you, eh?
I'm not absolutely sure what you're driving at, madam! Please clarify!
If you expect me to believe you're a true art lover & NOT just a racist then quote me something worthy of remembering regarding "Color"!
Maybe "It's all pink on the inside." wasn't the best quote!
No SHIT Sherlock!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-25-17
"On Air"
To all of yours...
...from all of us at MSNBC...
"On Air"
...we wish you a Merry Christmas...
...and a Happy New Year!
"Off Air"
Our viewers weren't even listening, were they?
Aw...fuck em! Both of em!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-26-17
Any requests, laddie?
Yeah actually...
What'll ya have, me boy?
How about..."Yackity Sax"?
Really? On a Bagpipe?
"Chopsticks", then?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-26-17
That Phreaky is a hottie who was hired as "window dressing"!
You sure about that? She seems bright enough.
Ha! She's dumb as a bag o hammers.
And how do you know THAT?
She's been in her office ALL DAY trying to alphabetize a bag of M&M's I gave her!
Nuff said!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-26-17
What do you need NOW Jimmy?
I need a ride to the malt shoppe, pops!
Why not just take your own car?
Cuz I sold it!
Sold it? For what?
Gas money!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-26-17
You STILL here boy?
C'mon Grand dad...gimme a twenty to buy a Rap CD!
I told ya...take them two quarters I gave ya & put one in each ear!
THAT'S STUPID! How am I gonna listen to RAP music like THAT?
What? 50 Cent ain't a Rapper no more?
How did I get Flip Wilson for a grandpa

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-27-17
Now?
Uh uh!
How about NOW?
Still nothing!
So how much more of this must I take before you get horny?
Patience! We only have 48 shades of grey to go!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-27-17
Tell Wirthing his scene is coming up. Get him to Special Effects!
Right C.B. I'll go fetch ghim!
Where the hell is he? Time is money!
Here I am C.B. HEY! What the...?
You moron! Never wear green at a "green screen" shoot!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-27-17
"Love me tender, love me long..."
"...never let me go! I love you..."
"...with all my heart and you love me so"!
Damn...he really IS dead!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
12-28-17
Darcy, that doll just called me a "bitch"! I'm having your father return it right away!
Nooooooo!
Tell them to exchange it and don't take "NO" for an answer, you ball-less, sorry excuse for a man!
Yes dear...right away dear! Happy to serve you dear!
But why does THIS one say..."You're a whoring CUNT"?
Because I paid EXTRA!

Showing page 22.

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