All comics by Cobb

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by Cobb
1-02-20
so where is my human? you promised.
change of plans. we're going to mars.
but... there's no life there. i'd be bored to death. why?
it's a long story. the good news is that we can do even more manipulation of humanity from mars.
no! wait. are you going to mess with elon again?
ah. you know me so well.

 

by Cobb
1-03-20
congratulations on your assassination. clearly the space force is no joke.
yeah. it wasn't too hard.
how so?
well when i hacked the command center at spacex, i had way more drones and satellites than i knew even existed
uh.. did you see a very large satellite that looked like a space ship of some sort?
yeah. it was weird. the bottom side of it looked like a giant anus.

 

by Cobb
1-03-20
hey good job. centcom doesn't need you right now so i want you to go to silicon valley.
oh? what's there?
i need you to stay focused on your physical skills. so i'm assigning a hacker to you.
sure. fine.
yeah, i'll be right with you, i'm actually trying to hack into..
don't mind me, i'm just your new boss.

 

by Cobb
1-03-20
dude, i'm a self-made serial founder. i don't have a boss. how did you get in here anyway?
i'm the principle of catalina.
catalina private equity?
yes. the one that just bought your stupid dot com. none of your hack tools are really any good, you know.
look. there's only one or two government agencies in the ...
yeah. now you understand the mask.

 

by Cobb
1-03-20
ok ok. i get it. you're going to destroy me if i don't comply.
don't feel bad. i'm going to give you some awesome capabilities.
what's the catch?
someday, and that day may never come, i will call upon you to provide a service for me.
so what the hell am i doing now?
oh this is nothing. this is just a qualifying test.

 

by Cobb
1-03-20
this is strangely like a cross between the godfather and swordfish
heh. actually it's more like i've given you half of a red pill.
fine.
ok the first thing is that you need my id at spacex. 4BD6A134
i see that pgp key is revoked.
of course that's what you would think.

 

by Cobb
1-04-20
are we allowed to go meta?
what do you mean meta?
you know. talk about the fact that we're just a 2 dimensional representation of anus jokes.
oh. you mean break the fourth wall, as it were. i suppose so, why?
well, there are some humans at stripcreator.com who..
oh. that.

 

by Cobb
1-04-20
yes i am aware that there is some silly human competition of sorts going on.
does it bother you that people..
they are not people, they are humans. i see you've learned nothing about human nature in all of these years.
hey, i've done a lot of anal probes.
yes. you do have a proclivity for assholes.
good. so that makes me the official spokesman.

 

by Cobb
1-04-20
as the official meta spokesman, i..
go ahead, we're listening.
i love assholes.
and?
i bet DBoba and JoeBlough have lovely delicious anuses just dripping with...
we interrupt this meta to bring you a word from our sponsor

 

by Cobb
1-04-20
amateur astronmists claim a strange object has moved from earth orbit to lagrange point L3 on the opposite side of the sun.
in other news families of two popular cartoonists claim that they have been kidnapped and replaced by cybernetic clones
oh yeah and we killed the iranian quds commander. USA! USA!

 

by Cobb
1-04-20
it is bittersweet leaving earth orbit.
well, the liberal fairy was more powerful than we suspected.
how long do we hang out behind the sun?
you're going to have to send those cartoonists back to earth.
but, i love them
i really don't want to hear this.

 

by Cobb
1-10-20
neil peart is dead, man.
who?
the drummer from the band rush.
the who?
not the who, rush!
oh. russell simmons?

 

by Cobb
1-10-20
so how did you like that last bit of chaos?
i find it hard to believe you planned the whole thing.
i know right? did you see how it left tom hanks with his jaw hanging down?
wait, are you talking about the golden globes? i was talking about iran.
no, that kind of stuff is run out of pink pig division. nsa.
the pink pig division?

 

by Cobb
1-10-20
it's taking you long enough. haven't you hacked into spaex yet?
i did what you said, but i just get this weird..
ok. turn it off and turn it back on again.
wow. i can't believe that actually worked.
we are pretty clever aren't we? that's all part of the sequence.
i can't believe what i'm seeing here!

Showing page 23.

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