All comics by DragonXero

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Shit...
by DragonXero, 10-23-05

 

by DragonXero
10-23-05
You're just a girl!
Oh fuck you.
I HATE PEOPLE LIKE YOU!
What, people who don't take your shit?
You're supposed to just beg me to be nice to you!
Yeah, you're about 6 months too late for that.

 

by DragonXero
10-25-05
Hey! HEY! LOOK AT ME!
I WILL NOT LOOK AT YOU
It's because I'm bacon, isn't it?
YOU'RE A HAM PRODUCT! THAT MAKES ME ANGRY
WHY DOESN'T THIS MAKE SENSE?!
Xero really shouldn't make comics when he's drunk.

 

by DragonXero
10-25-05
Wow, this graveyard is awesome.
Yes. It brings out the basest animal urges in me.
You're... You're not a girl, are you?
Does it really matter?

 

by DragonXero
10-25-05
Yeah, dude, see, I'm not like that.
Oh. So... wanna start a Cure cover band?
No, seriously dude. I'm not gay.
Oh.

 

by DragonXero
10-25-05
OH MY GOD! Vin Dissel!
I wish.
GOLDBERG! You.. you got kinda.. skinny.
... Another 151, bartender.
Captain?
151! MAKE IT SO!

 

by DragonXero
10-25-05
Let's... let's just go.
I STILL WANT A BEER!

 

by DragonXero
10-25-05
WELCOME, NEWBIE! TOBOR HERE TO WELCOME YOU PROPER!
Uh, hey buddy, I was already here! This is just a new character for me.
WELCOME!
TIME FOR RUNNING!

 

by DragonXero
10-25-05
HELLO! I AM FELCHBOT 5000! PLEASE TURN AROUND.
Uh, okay?
*shoomp*
What t- HEY WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU-
OH THE PAIN! THE PA- Oh hello. What you got? YEAH!

 

by DragonXero
10-25-05
I AM FELCHBOT 5000!
Oooh, I've heard of you! Come on in, big boy...
HELP! HELP! LEMME OUTTA HERE!
Quiet. I'm having fun.

 

I AM FELCHBOT 5000- WAIT, I SEE I AM TOO LATE.
Never too late for return customers!
by DragonXero, 10-25-05

 

I AM FELCHBOT 5000- GODDAMMIT, I TOLD YOU, NO REPEAT CUSTOMERS!
FUCK YOU!
by DragonXero, 10-25-05

 

I AM SHAVEBOT 6000! I A- OH. IT APPEARS I AM TOO LATE.
Fuck you too.
by DragonXero, 10-25-05

 

by DragonXero
10-25-05
Well Mr. Spankling, we need you to come up with five things you do before going to sleep.
Hmm, okay... let's try "untie the gimp".
1. Untie the Gimp
Survey says...
2. Remove Gimp's Buttplug
I fucking quit.
I WIN!

 

by DragonXero
10-25-05
ONE OF US!
ONE OF US!
ONE OF US!
ONE OF US!
One... ofus!
I hate you guys so much.

 

by DragonXero
10-25-05
Traitor.
Yep. Hate you guys too.

 

by DragonXero
10-29-05
TriCk oR TrEAt.
Um, like, aren't you a little old to-
GIVE ME SOME FUCKING CANDY!
Psh. Talk to the hand.
Later:
These crazy kids and their halloween pranks.
I'm taking next year off.

 

by DragonXero
10-30-05
Heya cutie! I'm Chris. Wanna take a little stroll?
Sounds like fun! Let's go!
Later...
Mmmm, yeah... just like that, right there...
Mmm you like that? How about if I- wh- what th- where's your goddamn penis?
Even later...
IT HAPPENED AGAIN!
Christina! I keep telling you, you need to grow your hair out!

 

by DragonXero
10-31-05
Hey mister, you gonna cut yourself?
I can't do this anymore...
Why?
Life is bleeding me dry! Nothing is going the way I planned.
Oh okay.
Could you hand me that bottle of horse tranquilizers?

 

by DragonXero
11-01-05
Woman without... her man.... is... savage.
*swoon*
Let's say... you and... me... go back to my... ship...
Oooh, beam me up, baby.
Spock... two.. to beam.. up....
Wait... nuh-uh. I ain't doin' that threesome shit.

 

by DragonXero
11-07-05
Duuude, this bar is awesome!
Yeah, the music is awesome, there are hot metal chicks, and I'm drunk as fuck!
Just then, James was hit with a stray beer bottle...
Call the hospital.
Dude, I don't-
Internal bleeding.
On it.

 

by DragonXero
11-12-05
Well, it would appear that you've been turned into a goat.
I'll get better though, right?
No no, I'm afraid it's terminal.
You mean, I'm going to die?
What? God no! I mean it's the terminal. Like at the airport.
Oh, I see it now.

 

by DragonXero
11-12-05
Hey Mando, how many times have you had sex?
How many times did you pay for it?
How many times was it with your mother?

 

by DragonXero
12-24-05
"Santa", I'm an athiest and I'm offended by all this Christian imagery.
Um... You do realize that both the Tree and I are pagan symbols, right?
RELIGION IS A LIE!
And Christmas is fun.
I'M GOING TO HAVE YOU CENSORED!
The Christians are gonna love this hypocrisy.

 

by DragonXero
12-24-05
Judge Vigoda! I demand that you stop Christians from rubbing their filthy religion in my face every "X-Mas"!
Er... Athiests have been protected from Christians under the First Amendment for a while, why should you get special treatment?
BECAUSE I'M RIGHT!
Yeah. BAILIFF!

 

by DragonXero
12-24-05
What the hell got up your ass?
I can't get the government to make celebrating religious holidays illegal! All those lights and Santas!!
Why don't you just ignore them and go about your OWN fucking life?
But, but then who would I pour all my leftover teenage angst onto?
You could always go shoot a few abortion clinic bombers. 'swhat I do.
There is wisdom in your words.

 

by DragonXero
12-24-05
The abominations like Santa Claus and the Pagan Tree must be abolished from Christmas! REMEBER CHRIST!
Never met the guy. On the other hand, I do like getting presents.
You don't understand, this is CHRIST'S day!
I thought it was a Roman festival originally. In any case, PRESENTS.
You just don't know the true meaning of Christmas.
Well that makes two of us.

 

by DragonXero
12-24-05
WE MUST REGAIN CHRISTMAS FOR CHRIST!
NO! WE HAVE TO ELIMINATE ALL RELIGION!
Why.. why you SODOMITE!
LOOK WHO'S TALKING! Father McTouchy-Feely!
Should we detonate the bomb now?
Sh. I'm having fun. You can't buy comedy like this.

 

by DragonXero
12-24-05
WOOHOO! Another winter of life thanks to the magical hat!
Aaaand yet another winter without a carrot below the belt. *sigh*

 

by DragonXero
12-24-05
Santa, with all the overtime we've been working from all these Muslims being converted, we'd.. like some extra pay...
Ho HO!
Yeah, you're not getting it.

 

by DragonXero
12-24-05
Santa, we won't stand for this any more! We are officially on strike this Christmas!
Ho HO!
No seriously, get back to work before I put a .45 between your beady little eyes.

 

by DragonXero
1-18-06
*tick* *tick* *tick*
The enemy is weakened!
Ha HA!
Oh. Shit.
THE SUICIDE BOMBER STRIKES AGAIN!

 

by DragonXero
2-15-06
I dreamt of hair again.
You know what it means, don't you?
I don't want to think about it.
You must. It's a sign.
You mean?
We always dream of things we can't have.

 

by DragonXero
3-13-06
Alright, fire's out, Dolphin's dry. What next?
No, no freaking way.
I'm not having sex with the dolphin. I don't care how much you pay me.

 

by DragonXero
3-16-06
Alright, pings of 400 plus aren't cutting it.
FIREWALL: OFF
There we go. No more firewall in the way.
ERROR: COMPUTER HAS BEEN HACKED! LOLOMG
Goddammit. I can't win, can I?
Me > You.

 

by DragonXero
3-17-06
Yeah, I seem to be having some problems with my Trillian.
Have you tried retyping the password?
Yeah, several times.
Are you using the right address? I'm seeing it as [censored] @[censored].com
Gotta go.
No problem, I have six more idiots on hold.

 

by DragonXero
4-08-06
Don Vader wants to see youse right now. He said somethings about a new pair of carbonite shoes...
Oh fuck.
*wheeze* I have asked youse here today because youse have broken a promise. *wheeze* Youse have not given me the plans I asked for. *wheeze*
Oh crap, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry
Apology accepted.

 

by DragonXero
4-10-06
Mmm, yeah baby, mmm, that feels good....
Ohhh god yes, mmm... let's fuck hard!
Mmm yeah! OH GOD PUT IT IN ME!
TAKE IT BITCH!
Uh, Hey, yeah, sorry. Can we schedule this for next week? I'm having a heavy flow day.
Goddamn it.

 

by DragonXero
4-10-06
For the last time, no! Everyone knows that the hair club for men is just a cult.

 

by DragonXero
4-26-06
So.. we gonna do this or what?
Arrrr, this 'twernt in me contract.

 

by DragonXero
4-26-06
This town isn't big enough for the both of us.
Agreed.
So, I'll be finding another town then.
You sure? Cuz, y'know, I could always just go find another town.

 

by DragonXero
4-26-06
I'm here for the job...
The position's been filled.
Well this town ain't big enough for both of us!
Actually, I'm pretty sure we'll both fit. Hell is endless, after all.
Oh, right. So, uh, catch the Knicks game last night?
I hate baseball.

 

by DragonXero
4-26-06
Dad, just tell me what's wrong with the bikini and I'll go change.
It's too small! Do you want the boys to be looking at you like a piece of meat?
Well.. yeah.
Oh. Carry on then.

 

by DragonXero
4-26-06
Val Kilmer sucked as Batman.
I AM GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS INTO 5 YEARS AGO!
OW! HEY! OWWW!! QUITTIT! Oooh. OW! MY SPLEEN!! AUUUGGGHHH!!!
HOLY SHIT.
I told you.

 

by DragonXero
4-28-06
You asshole jock! Remeber Columbine? Yeah, you better be afraid!
Boo.
AAAAH!
That was fun.
Please don't kill me.

 

by DragonXero
4-28-06
A typical metal after-show conversation:
Man, that was an awesome show. Let's get wasted and make a "run for the border"!
No way man, that stuff gives me the shits. Let's hit up In 'n Out.
A typical goth after-show conversation:
Those lyrics were so deep, they made me really feel the singer's pain.
Like, I know. I feel like going and cutting myself now.
A typical emo after-show conversation.
That band was too popular. Look, there's like, 9 people here, two of them aren't even in one of the bands!
I knw. These guys just suck. Let's go back to your place and have sex. But first I have to rant about this on Myspace and Livejournal.

 

by DragonXero
5-01-06
Yeah, dude. Things really aren't going well lately.
Oh? What's wrong man?
My wife left me, my dog died a week ago and I haven't gotten over it, and my dad has Angina.
Dude, your dad's a tranny?
And now, the creator!
I apologize for this comic.

 

by DragonXero
5-03-06
Unus die in ager...
Sic dixi, "Puteus, haec rotor turbines non generabint gravitonam sibi!"
Ha ha!
Cuius sexum de dicis?

 

by DragonXero
5-12-06
I'd like to bake her cookies. If you know what I mean.
I'd like to gargle her mouthwash. If you know what I mean.
I'd like to Kanga her Roo. If you know what I mean.
I'd like check under her hood. If you know what I mean.
I'd like to ride her elephant. If you know what I mean.
I'd like to put my penis in her vagina. If you know what I mean.

 

by DragonXero
5-14-06
Hey! Never confuse Philly and New Jersey! I don't call you Nevadan, do I?
Well, no, but that wouldn't really bother me.
What do Californians hate?
Oregon.
Well what do Oregonians hate?
Bathing.

Showing page 23.

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