All comics by DragonXero

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by DragonXero
6-20-06
Bunny Dude, what're your thoughts on Christianity?
I love Jesus.
You.. wait, what?
Oh, wait, shit. sorry.
Huh?
I meant to say I make love to Christ.

 

by DragonXero
6-21-06
Yeah, I'm Xenu. Yeah, I put a shitload of people around a volcano and blew it up.
Yeah I have a bulge in my pants for John Travolta.
But you didn't have to start a religion over it.

 

by DragonXero
6-21-06
Hi there! L. Ron Hubbard here, back from the grave.
Pfft, suckers.

 

by DragonXero
6-23-06
They're coming.
THE HUMANS HAVE GONE MAD!
If they come in here, I'm going to snip their heads off.
YOU CAN'T SNIP ALL THEIR HEADS OFF!
What the fuck are you so worried about? They just want your DICK. They want me inside them entirely!
TOBOR WANT LOVE TOO.

 

by DragonXero
6-23-06
Why the hell am I doing this?
Young man, you'll have to slow down! I can barely keep up with you!
Oh, that's right. The skin.
My it's hot out here. My skin feels like leather in this heat!

 

by DragonXero
6-23-06
Ladies and Gentlemen of Middle-Earth. I have an important message.
Frodo pussed out and handed the ring over to Sauron.
So, we're basically fucked. I don't know about you all, but I'm going to -
GET OFF THE STAGE NERD! WE CAME FOR HUGH JACKMAN!

 

by DragonXero
6-23-06
NO I DO NOT WANT A COPY OF THE WATCHTOWER.
NO, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
WHY CAN'T THEY LEAVE US MORMONS ALONE?!

 

by DragonXero
6-23-06
Take off your pants.
No.
Please?
Yeah, okay.

 

by DragonXero
6-23-06
YoU HAve cOMe foR yOUr aNThrAx InNoCCulAtiON?
Uh, yeah. We were ordered to report to the doctor...
THen YoU HAve cOmE tO thE RiGHt PlACe!
Yeah, can we get this over with?
TakE PanTS oFf. BenD OVeR. SPrEaD CHeeKs!
Uh, yeah. I'm going to get a second opinion.

 

by DragonXero
6-23-06
OH FORGET IT.
Yeah, I'm going to go ask the general if this is common procedure.
What the-
TOBOR TIRED OF DISGUISE! BEND OVER FOR YOUR INNOCCULATION, HU-MON!
Oh shitbunnies.

 

by DragonXero
6-23-06
I swear, I was just in the hospital.
Tell it to the judge, psycho.
But honestly, Officer, I was just beginning to open up the patient when-
Look, I really don't want to hear it.
Shit, not again.
... Move along people, nothing to see here.

 

by DragonXero
6-23-06
*snicker* Shh, shhh, here he comes. Follow my lead.
WHAT THE FUCK?!
Greetings, earthling! You have been brought here to pay for your serious crimes!
But I didn't mean to-
Tell it to the black hole.

 

by DragonXero
6-23-06
No, you can't just beam me into a black hole!
Oh yes we can! Watch us!
This really isn't my day. *glub*
Meanwhile...
THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN?! You idiot!
Whoops. That was supposed to be a .006, not a 12. Easy mistake eh?

 

by DragonXero
6-23-06
This day can't possibly get worse-
Oh, great. I was wrong.
You put him into a black hole?! You know what? I am not going to put any more effort into this. Beam me up a highball.
I shall make it so. Scotty, Imbibe!

 

by DragonXero
6-23-06
Well, great. Somehow I've not yet been ripped to pieces by the sigularity yet. Got a bit of a headache though.
I can't ima- I won't say it.
Oh! Hey, this isn't that bad. I wonder what ship I'm on... S.. S... Titani- oh fuck me.

 

by DragonXero
6-29-06
Omigosh, you don't like the Deftones?! What's wrong with you! They're so metal!!
Do me a favor. Go suck on a muffler.

 

by DragonXero
7-11-06
It's-a me! Mario!
Holy shit, you look like frozen vomit today, Mario.
Hey, I had long night, okay? Peach was bitch about my drug usage and wouldn't shut up. Besides, have you seen yourself lately?
What? What about me?
Dude, last I checked you koopas were turtles.
And las I checked you weren't getting nailed in the butt by Bowser. Things change.

 

by DragonXero
7-18-06
Uh.. hi. I'm..
The new guy. Listen, you better bitch up or you're gonna get ganked.
I- o- okay.
Look, I'm going to go get drunk on pruno, but I'll be back to fuck you in the ass.
...I miss you...

 

by DragonXero
7-18-06
Look man, this just isn't working out. Your ass just isn't tight anymore.
But you said you loved me!
Look, there's a million reasons I could never love you.
What, because you're not gay?
No, because you're not 10.

 

by DragonXero
7-18-06
3 years ago...
You know, we may have just met here by this wall, but I think I'm falling in love with you.
MOOOOOM!!!!
I never meet anyone who wants to be in a committed relationship!

 

by DragonXero
7-19-06
Dude, Hezbollah. Knock that shit off.
Oh shit, dude, Syria, sorry dude. Totally our bad. We still cool?
Yeah, just don't do that shit anymore.
Alright. Wait, what shit don't you want us to do anyway?
Stop leaving the toilet seat up.
Oh damn, sorry dude.

 

by DragonXero
7-19-06
People of the world. I'd like to say something.
My president said "shit" audibly.
Therefore he's totally cooler than your leader.

 

by DragonXero
8-02-06
Hey, it's John Edwards! Hey, if you're such a psychic, how come you couldn't see that you guys were gonna lose?
You're thinking of John Edward.
Oh. What'd I say?
John Edwards.
Next you're going to tell me your buddy, Zombie JFK is someone else.
KERRY! JOHN F KERRY!!! AUGH!

 

by DragonXero
8-09-06
Laboratory of Dr. Weird, South Jersey Shore
GENTLEMEN! I have brain rot!
No you don't, it says so right there on your medical charts.
STOP MOCKING MY DISEASE!

 

by DragonXero
8-09-06
WHAT DID YOU PUT IN MY EYES?!
I didn't put any-
IT BURNS!
I didn't put shit in your eyes!
IT WAS MAGMA THEN!
Now that you mention it...

 

by DragonXero
8-09-06
Turn the TV off. We are not watching this boring filth.
I'm watching it, and you're not turning it off!
You don't know me. You don't know how I deal with stress. This is how I deal with stress.
What, you're leaving?
Not now. Nobody's leaving now.
Fuck it. I'm going to go watch Three's Company.

 

by DragonXero
8-09-06
It takes a big man to admit he's afraid of something.
And?
And you're going to be a big man and be the one to say we're leaving.

 

by DragonXero
8-09-06
Little brother, it's time I tell you about the world.
If a chick tells you her aunt Flo is visiting, get out.
That means she's about to swallow your soul.

 

by DragonXero
8-09-06
Little brother, don't listen to the man when he says it's a "two party system".
All that really means is that the man wants to control you by limiting your choices.
Now, should I beat you now, or beat you later?

 

by DragonXero
8-09-06
Little brother, when dad died, he left me in charge.
And since mom's dead too, you know what that means, don't you?
No, what?
You're the bottom.

 

by DragonXero
8-09-06
Little brother, I've noticed that you've got a girlfriend now.
This is a very important time in your life.
Yeah?
You get to learn the pain of rejection when I steal her from you.

 

by DragonXero
8-09-06
Little brother, I saw what you were doing to the dog earlier.
I- I'm sorry.
You damn well better be, you little pervert.
I-
That bitch is mine.

 

by DragonXero
8-09-06
Little brother, it's not that I don't love you. I really do.
All these little chats and everything have been completely worth it to see you growing up strong.
Thanks!
But I swear to GOD, if you tell anyone about this, I'm going to bury you in the backyard.
Dad never actually said *brothers* can't touch me there.

 

by DragonXero
8-09-06
Look, I can tell this is your first time and all.
I totally understand, you're a little shy and nervous.
But I don't think having your clothes on is the point of a hooker, ever.

 

by DragonXero
8-09-06
I've been asked to do some strange shit in my day.
Just last week, I had a guy who wanted me to sit on his back like he was a pony.
But if you want me to fuck to Blink 182, that shit's extra.

 

by DragonXero
8-09-06
Don't worry, it's normal. It happens to lots of guys their first time.
IT HURTS!
Come on, it's not THAT bad.
GO AWAY!
Come on, you knew what you were getting into.
YOU SAID I'D BARELY NOTICE YOUR COCK!

 

by DragonXero
8-09-06
Little brother, it's time you learn to be a man. Now, strap on these explosives and go kill some infidels.
But won't I die too?
You ask too many questions. Now go, die for your god.
Okay....
Later...
...when asked about his brother's suicide bombing earlier today, had this to say...
What do you expect? The kid was always a wack job. He couldn't even suck cock right.

 

by DragonXero
8-09-06
I've been trying to come up with a name for my next band.
I went over hundreds of names.
In the end I just sodomized a midget.

 

by DragonXero
8-09-06
People think it's easy being a metalhead.
Well let me tell you folks something.
There's nothing easy about violent anal rape.

 

by DragonXero
8-09-06
I've been asked many times why I shave my head.
Some think it has to do with hair loss.
The truth is, I just think I look really good in a starfleet uniform.

 

by DragonXero
8-09-06
I may have a bad body image, but there's a reason.
This one time, I was going through the park, naked, and this little girl screamed bloody murder.
Quite a talent, being able to scream "bloody murder" with your mouth full of cock.

 

by DragonXero
8-09-06
I've been trying to talk to this woman I saw downtown yesterday. She has kids. She thinks I hate kids!
I don't hate kids, I love kids!
That's why the state says I can't talk to this woman I saw downtown.

 

by DragonXero
8-09-06
So, I was in this gay bathhouse, right?
I was just sitting there minding my own business, when this young, musclebound guy comes up and tries to hit on me.
God, why can't I ever meet any chicks??

 

by DragonXero
8-09-06
So I met up with this little asian hooker chick.
Yeah, I was disappointed too. I was looking forward to some pixel-on-pixel action.

 

by DragonXero
8-09-06
Little girl, I'm afraid what you're asking is not something I do.
I am apalled that you'd think I would want to have sex with you.
Now go away, fatty.

 

by DragonXero
8-09-06
I think it's time I started making some clean jokes, thus, I'm in a church.
Let's go get soapy.

 

by DragonXero
8-09-06
Look, they're all just jokes. I'm not gay, I'm not a pedophile, I don't like animals.
I would never dream of doing filthy things like that.
That said, could you hurry up and die? I want a quickie.

 

by DragonXero
8-09-06
Come on, not all metal guys are what people think.
I wasn't raised in the city. I'm practically all about the hay.
I said HAY.
Dammit.

 

by DragonXero
8-09-06
Y'know Drexle, I don't think people really understand us.
I know what you mean.
They're always making fun of our clothes, our hair, our attitudes, the spikes..
Exactly. We're just like everyone else.
Exactly. Just because we like it in the butt-
I'm going over there now.

 

by DragonXero
8-09-06
I've always been a little confused about gays.
It's not the way they act or the clothes or anything...
Really, I just wanna know where they hide their tails.

Showing page 25.

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