All comics by arbi

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by arbi
3-19-08
www.supremecourtus.gov/oral_arguments/ argument_transcripts/07-290.pdf
This just in - well we were out of town yesterday. The Supreme Court heard oral argument on the DC gun case.
They get it! It was about bears, and the English Bill of Rights, and the state constitutions. These guys know some history.
There was lots of room for them to decide one way or the other, but the game has completely changed now.
Most likely outcome - an individual right to bear arms. But will it have any teeth? Too soon to tell.
http://www.oyez.org/cases/2000-2009/ 2007/2007_07_290/argument/ 07-290_20080318-argument.mp3
New trial for some black southern murderer, and the court upheld Washington state's weird primary system.
We haven't read that one yet.

 

by arbi
3-19-08
Two days. 800 miles. $115 rent a car, $105 gas, $40 hotel $25 indian groceries, $5 drinks, $10 coffee and potatoes = $300.
Ohio: didn't get in, but it's a nice seedy low rent lab. I had the best hash browns at some hippy bar near the short north. Drove to Kalamazoo.
Hung out at one of my fave coffee shops then the gay bar. A tuesday night, it was dead except for a millionaire customer who left an $80 tip and bought the house a round, some guy, and me.
I only tipped $1 but I gave the bartender a nice kiss. Coulda gone home with him I'm sure but I just got a hotel room instead.
* I didn't get in. So now I have no gig lined up for April.
The screening went fine - I hope I get in cuz it's $5000 - and then I raced back to indy to turn in my rent a car by 6, had ten minutes to spare.
It rained pretty much the whole time. Now I'm eating the Indian groceries.

 

by arbi
3-21-08
If this were a real comic, and I could draw, I'd draw a boxing ring with Charlie Stross and John Scalzi doing dueling readings from their Hugo-nominated books.
It'll probably go to MIchael Chabon for the Yiddish Policeman's Union.
My slashdot article yesterday brought 60 people to my blog, but most days I get about a dozen hits, which is just noise. It's the same here, I have about a dozen readers.
I'm unable to come up with any online content anybody wants to read. I should probably stop blogging. But then I might have to face the real world, which I'd rather not do.
update: called the landlord, and bought a '90 cadillac for $750
In the real world, my water heater exploded last night so I haven't had a shower. I guess I need to boil water on the stove and call the landlord.
A bunch of new flower seedlings came up last night. I don't know if it's too soon to move them outside. (ok, google says wait a month)

 

by arbi
3-22-08
HilRod Clinton's passport records were accessed by government officials.
Joust by your own Picard, eh HilRod?
stayhuman.org/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=9022
s'up /b/. RuPaul!

 

by arbi
3-22-08
well i didn't actually -do- anything today. but the landlord came over and i have hot water again, so i took a bath,
and my shiny new (1990) cadillac is sitting outside, so i have wheels of more than just my truck.
I moved some stuff around in the basement so he could get to the water heater - so that was productive. I smell like slime or mildew, even after the bath.
I'm gona leave the second half of this open for awhile, in case anything happens
http://www.thedevilspanties.com/ d/20040228.html
woohoo, or perhaps I mean w00t. I looked at three houses for sale. At the price, I could buy all three and pay cash. I'll make phone calls monday.
off to the club then joell's party. the club was jumping - i licked whipped cream off a dancer - not quite vegan. joell's was dead, they all went to victor's. i'm waiting4 a 3am booty call. 3:05 :(

 

by arbi
3-23-08
http://www.cs.utk.edu/~mclennan/ BA/JO-Eo.html eoster mysteries
transplanted some flowers that came up last week. laundry, called mom. rode my bike.
i went and looked again at the houses i looked at last night. still ready to buy.
my best dumpster score today was a hundred or so 45s. I think somebody's jukebox went digital.
johnny cash, diana ross, stuff from 72-88. and some books and stuffed animals.
reason to buy house is more room for junk.
moar!

 

by arbi
3-24-08
I made an offer of $5000 for the house, which is the asking price from the bank. It's assessed at $63K.
I drove over and gave them my proof of funds. On the way home, I got the run around from a few record stores about those 45s I found yesterday, and did a little shopping, and got turkish coffee.
Walked a couple of miles. That's the plan, to get a little excercize every day, or at least sometimes. Dug up some more of the garden.
I read the rest of The Devil's Panties, at least 1000 strips. Took me about a week.
I should go unload the car, so it doesn't start to look like one of my cars - full of junk.
haven't made a to-do list for the month yet.

 

by arbi
3-25-08
yesterday: house $5000. gas $50. turkish coffee $2. club $10. Helping my private dancer with his rent situation $100. Yeah I'm being hustled, I'm ok with that.
It turns out he's an artist. Maybe I can recruit him to be an inker for my comics, and I could escape the limits of stripcreator.
today: I'm sitting here having my morning coffee, firing up the web browser, and - oh shi, it's 3 pm already.
My only plans for the day are I have a free movie pass to see 21, which I think is the movie about the math geeks who go to vegas, from a book I want to read.
I have nobody to see the movie with. I'll take my teddy bear.
Meanwhile: check the mail, deposit check, get money order for texas, make a to do list. Hope the bank says yes about the house.

 

by arbi
3-25-08
http://www.abcnews.go.com/TheLaw/ FedCrimes/Story?id=4524127&page=2
The turn signals in my shiny new cadillac don't work. So a cop pulled me over - said i was a white guy in a black neighborhood and was obviously on drugs. Turns out my license was suspended, so they
cuffed me and towed the caddy. It was a long walk home. My teddy bears are in the impound lot - we were on our way to see a movie. I'll deal with it tomorrow.
http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=2U3suqfWRz8
This sort of thing is why for a few years I didn't like to leave the house. I'm doing better lately - I'm just mildly annoyed.

 

by arbi
3-25-08
http://digg.com/pets_animals/ Angry_Goat_Kills_Pastor_2
curried goat: 2 1/2 lbs. goat flesh 4 stalks escallion, diced 2 tbsp. curry powder Salt n peppa, 1 tbsp. butter 2 onions, diced 3 or 4 cloves of garlic thyme 1/3 of a habanero
Curried priest: 2 lbs. priest meat, cut into sm. pieces 1 c. lemonlime juice 3 T oil 3 cloves fresh garlic, chopped 3 med. potatoes, diced 1/2 c. curry powder 1 onion, chopped Salt, black pepper.

 

by arbi
3-25-08
Boingboing mentions a site where users can make their own comics
http://www.boingboing.net/ 2008/03/25/bitstrips-comicscrea.html
whaddle they think of next!?

 

http://www.physorg.com/news125658173.html
by arbi, 3-26-08

 

by arbi
3-26-08
Archie N. Misus?
You asked for an archnemisis. Your wish has been granted.You will die, vodka-swilling infidel dog. Er, sorry, force of habit. Hi.
So does this mean I have two more wishes?
The Djinn did not say. She suggested you take the GI bill and we become grad student teaching assistants in America.
http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/ Culturejamming/427027/
Did I already die and go to hell?
No, no. I did. You are my eternal punishment.

 

by arbi
3-26-08
I didn't do anything all day, even though I was supposed to go get my car out of impound.
But then I did a google search on "search incident to arrest", and worked on that for a couple hours.
It turns out I can sue the cop, for searching my trunk. They can search the car, but not the trunk, without a warrant or some kind of cause.
So I have to find a lawyer - that's the hard part - and write up some stuff and meet the deadlines and do some discovery.
It's been fun to actually use my skills for a change. I wrote myself a memo on the law, and need to do another on the facts, while I still remember clearly.
Whether or not I ever follow up on this, I feel better about it now - I've been able to reclaim a bit of my power.

 

by arbi
3-26-08
http://apnews.myway.com/ article/20080327/D8VLG8RO0.html
Big Belly Boosts Risk of Later Dementia, says drudgereport.com
www.independent.co.uk/life-style/ health-and-wellbeing/ health-news/ married-man-claims-to-be-five-months-pregnant- 801331.html
Married 'man' claims to be five months pregnant
http://xkcd.com/285/
Pie shortage hits eastern seaboard

 

OPC45 entry: afterglow
97, 98, 99, $100. Ok. Same time next week?
by arbi, 3-27-08

 

by arbi
3-27-08
A man has a chicken, a fox, and a bag of grain. His boat only holds one of those at a time. How does he cross the river?
So I go get my mechanic, and mike, who sold me the caddy, drives me to city hall and drops off another guy while i start the paperwork.
I get searched and fingerprinted, but they won't give me the car so i go back home and get the title and we come back and get the release form and go to the lot and get the caddy and we both drive to
my house and i drop him off and leave my pickup there to pick up later and i drive home. It actually went pretty smoothly. $110
Two other people made offers on the house so I'll probably get outbid.

 

by arbi
3-28-08
today they let me pay the ticket they wouldn't let me pay last time, and i got a new license. $200.
raised my offer on the house to $7000, but i'm sure i'll be outbid. didn't do anything else today, except the dishes.
http://vark.blogspot.com/2008/03/ somebody-on-xkcd-forum-said-webcomic.html
saturday update: knocked out a draft of an amicus brief in an election case. i do these for fun sometimes.

 

(actually, there's been some very nice feedback the past couple years. thanks all.)
judging from some of the early feedback i've gotten, soem people wonder how i manage to make a comic this unfunny for this long. it's not pure talent; i had help.
http://hownottorunacomic.comicgenesis.com/pastthemes.html
by arbi, 3-30-08

 

by arbi
3-30-08
*ring* Hello, we're calling about the study appointment tomorrow. Be here at 12:30
Nope, like I told you in the email, I needed to know yesterday if you want me there tomorrow.
Oh what the heck. I'll be there at 12:30 tomorrow (it's only 600 miles).
Ok.
If you live anywhere between indiana and durham NC and want a random stripcreator visitor, gtbear at gmail.
road trip!
go go gadget caddilac

 

by arbi
4-03-08
every guy's fantasy #7: the horny hitchhiker
road trip report: 1500 miles, 20/mpg, $3.33/gln. 5 states, 2 hotels, 3 days, 1 screening, 2 grits n hash browns breakfasts. $500.
picked up a hitchhiker, took her to dinner, she suggested the hotel and sex part, didn't want money, wasn't on drugs.
on the other hand, she was 50 and looked a bit like willie nelson.

 

by arbi
4-03-08
christopher7murphy/427795/
bald.. wears a blue suit..rightfooted. no, can't be this one.
bald, wears a blue suit.. dick cheney FTW.
wears a blue suit, hates bush, nope, too much hair
wouldn't be caught dead in a blue suit
bald, blue suit, right handed, ayyup, yup, dat's me.
could be bald under the hat.. red and blue suit.. sinister .. hates self and others

 

by arbi
4-03-08
christopher7murphy/427795/
Do you have that one book by that one guy from the news?
Can you narrow that down for me?
He's bald. Wears a blue suit. Right handed.
Bald. Wears a blue suit. Right handed.
That fake mustache isn't fooling anybody, Mr Carville.

 

by arbi
4-03-08
Why was Christopher7Murphy scared?
I dunno, why was Christopher7Murphy scared?
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jennifer_8._Lee
Because Jennifer 8. Lee.

 

by arbi
4-03-08
didn't do much today. booked a screening for a $4700 study in knoxville. they wanted me to come tomorrow, but we settled for the 14th.
dishes laundry gardening house cleaning, fixed dinner for a friend who ended up not coming over.
my private dancer wasn't feeling well and called and suggested instead of going to work today, he could just come see me instead. but i didn't offer him enough loot.
now, off to the club. had a good time there last night - hung out with some girl strippers from another club.

 

by arbi
4-03-08
midnight snack recipe: take a frying pan still greasy from whatever you cooked before. set stove to high.
1 cup arborio rice. 1/2 cup bean thread, presoaked. 1 t kim chi. 1 t pickled ginger left over from sushi. 1/2 cup curry masala (gravy).
check fridge for any extra leftovers to throw in. put pan on stove, add ingredients, stir furiously two minutes, remove from heat, keep stirring.
this recipe works better with noodles instead of rice, but the rice was ready.
now read a few chapters of hannibal rising. pleasant peaceful dreams!
or just stay up playing solitaire till dawn

 

by arbi
4-05-08
I made a numbered list of ten things to do today. I got 5 done and got hung up on #6.
electric $100 water $100 plates and title $100 gas $50 incoming checks $350, so it's a wash, unless i spend too much at the club tonight.
still to do: cites for a brief, tax planning, call my ex's roommate, blog, make a better list.
did: bills, po box, emails, plates, gardening, pushups. Got chased away from a dumpster by a rent-a-cop. Made fried rice and curried pumpkin for dinner, almost finished Hannibal Rising.
saturday dinner: whole wheat indian curry vegetable ramen. wish i could remember where i bought it.
this space left blank to leave room for adventures from the club. it's gonna have to be a non-drinking night, he said.
even tho i didn't drink, i was so tired it felt like a hangover. on saturday, i got #6 done.

 

by arbi
4-05-08
ansuz.sooke.bc.ca/bonobo-conspiracy/?i=939
OK, here's another new compression algorithm.
First we test whether the input is = to the string "banana"; if yes we just write out a single 1 bit.
On sample inputs it should beat Burrows-Wheeler 9 times out of 10.
Hmm.
#939 Orange you glad I didn't compress "banana" again
What do you think?
You should test for "abracadabra" also.

 

by arbi
4-06-08
apparently it's mandatory now to make charleton heston comix. ok i'll bite. on the 12th day of easter, my true love gave to me, 10 commandments
9 lives
* the duck will explain this one shortly
eightfold path
7 aphorisms*
6 pointed star
5 pointed pentagram

 

by arbi
4-06-08
4 cardinal directions,
three states of matter (not counting the plasmas)
two two two mints in one. two hearts beat as one. two heads are better than one. manichean dualism.
we're siamese twins.
and a cartridge for my winchester 30.06 double-barrel lever action chrome-plated commie-stopper here.
ra-men

 

by arbi
4-06-08
this just in! in a case from utah, the supreme court has decided to decide whether a county courthouse that has a ten commandments monument is an open forum where the 7 aphorisms can be posted as well
THE PRINCIPLE OF PSYCHOKINESIS THE PRINCIPLE OF CORRESPONDENCE THE PRINCIPLE OF VIBRATION THE PRINCIPLE OF OPPOSITION THE PRINCIPLE OF RHYTHM THE PRINCIPLE OF CAUSE AND EFFECT THE PRINCIPLE OF GENDER
this - could- go either way, but i wouldn't bet the farm over it.
In other news, the court sided with delaware against new jersey, in a case about who owns the delaware river on the jersey side.
we used to know a song about the war between delaware and new jersey, but google's never heard of it.

 

by arbi
4-07-08
today's been kind of frustrating. i screened for a study which starts tomorrow night in n carolina, and they won't tell me if i'm in or not. So I spent all day trying to get them to answer the phone
or call me back or answer my email. still waiting.
yesterday, made a list of 5 things to do then didn't do any of them
including finishing this comic
8 pm: yes! I'm in the study.
No comics for a week now.

 

by arbi
4-16-08
pheryx/429041/
pheryx has up an ode to dinosaur comics.
dinosaur comics is ryan north's strip, in which a couple of dinosaurs make witty remarks. it's genuinely funny, usually, and jacques from QuestionableContent likes it.
the gimmick is that every strip is the same art, just a pic of a couple of dinosaurs.
luckily, that sort of thing can't happen here.

 

by arbi
4-16-08
gas $150. club $30. lunch $5 tolls $5.
tuesday: drove 650 miles home from n carolina
rent $425 haircut $4 house $7000
wednesday: paid the rent. did the laundry, but the washer broke. got a haircut. bought a house.
[is speechless]

 

by arbi
4-18-08
tuesday: drove home from carolina
wednesday: bought a house. ufos over kokomo. washer/drier blew up.
thursday: wrote a lawsuit. got my tern signals fixed. had sex.
friday: earthquake. printed and filed the lawsuit. voted for ron paul. went to walmart to buy a laptop, got socks instead. checked my mail.
if i'd planned better i could have gone to penguicon in troy michigan this weekend. hmm. road trip? nah. carolina via detroit doesn't work.
just another typical week around here.
tomorrow: laundry, dishes, pay credit card, pack, call mom, drive back to carolina.

 

http://www.apple.com/trailers/sony_pictures/zombiestrippers/trailer/
If you only see one movie this year, there's only one movie to see: Zombie Strippers. From Sony, features Jenna Jamison as, you know, the zombie stripper.
A public service message from stripcreator dot com and the ad council.
by arbi, 4-18-08

 

by arbi
4-21-08
here i am in the second week of the study. new laptop $580 at walmart.
I got $50 discount for ivytopia citizenship.
x, $125, 88, 40.
On the way here I missed a turn and took out three tires on the caddy. Tow truck, hotel, bus ticket, taxi.
I'm going to end up just breaking even on this study, but it gets me a laptop. I got here only an hour late.
I have a screening for a $4600 HIV med study in wisconsin in june. The $9600 study was already full.
Today was the busy day, the rest of the week will be just killing time.

 

by arbi
4-22-08
pheryx/430088/
i'm so emo i cut myself
No one understands me.
www.megatokyo.com/
(piro:) Relax, we understand j00.
rawk ?
I don't understand him.

 

by arbi
4-25-08
www.news.com.au/story/ 0,23599,23476268-38200,00.html
according to this article linked at the freakonomics blog, they are making embryos that are part human and part cow
and embryos that are part human and part bunny.
i got nothin'
me neither

 

by arbi
4-30-08
I'm back home today for a few days. Slept in after yesterday's road trip. Didn't do much, dishes, trash, weed garden, catch up online.
A bunch of my plants died while I was gone for 10 days instead of a week as planned. I got stuck in charleston west virginia for 3 days waiting on car repair.
i hung out in coffeeshops with wifi and cheap hotels and taxis and found a seedy bar, the tap room.
I picked up the cutest youngest guy there, which wasn't saying much, 33 and plain, but sweet, and we had a nice time together. I hope to see him again soon.
car repair $580 gas $300 hotels and taxis $300 bus $180 drinks and food $30
A kappa roll at Lemongrass, and a tonic and lime at Havana in columbus' short north, and home, and off to the club.
Between buying the laptop, gas, car repair, 4 days of hotels and taxis, I'm not going to end up making much this study. I screen in wisconsin, then back to NC for the third week.

 

by arbi
4-30-08
vark.blogspot.com
Now that i'm home I'm catching up a few webcomics, like devil's panties, and finally added tang to the blogroll comics section.
A lot of her comics are about going to cons where she sells her comics. It's been years since i've been to cons much. I'd like to check out some furry cons and relaxacons,
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erwin_Strauss
now that i have a lifestyle of travel money and time off. only i'm so far out of the loop, i need some kind of guide to get started.
like filthy pierre's con guide used to be. i met filthy a few times, and i've read his book about how to start a new country.
http://www.cfg.org/midwestcon/
so i figure if i make a comic about it, somebody will comment with a link.
instead of, say, using google or something.

 

christopher7murphy/431048/ , or, leasticoulddo.com/comic/20080430
That'll be $100 bucks please.
Put it on my bill.
by arbi, 4-30-08

 

by arbi
5-01-08
up bright and early at the crack of noon
what i need to do today: 1,2 fax oil company and realtor X 4 mail, amicus X 5 laundry X 6 clean car X 7 called credit card co X 8 gardening X 9 check new house X 10 make better list
the rest of this comic is left blank until tonight, when we'll see what i got done, or didn't.
4 pm, making progress still need to clean the car X, planted flowers and potatoes X, make better list. bought gas $50, did the recycling, took out trash bought cabbage.
So far the night is going well. I'm reading tucker max. my private dancer called from the bingo parking lot - i'll see him at the club tomorrow.
tomorrow: bank. get gas cap collect rent get alignment. clinic for blood test? mow lawn on winthrop. make better list. revise ID memo. letter re nolli prosequi. plant okra.
a squirrel is in my garden eating the stuff i planted yesterday.

 

by arbi
5-02-08
http://www.marcon.org/
yesterday i got stuff done. today, not so much. went to the bank, so i have money to blow at the club tonight. did a little gardening. got a story posted to slashdot.
it rained all day, so i stayed in mostly. i should at least hang up the laundry. X what I - should- be doing is revising a memo, based on monday's supreme court case. But i tend towards writers block.
containment.greententacles.com/confinder/
hey it worked. one of my 8 readers sent me a site with a list of sf cons.
they changed the schedule, i have to be back in nc two days earlier so i can't screen for the $5000 study in madison, yet.
saturday: i didn't make a list, didn't do anything. a few notes for the memo.

 

by arbi
5-03-08
This is a job for Iron Man! Quick, activate the irony signal.
Aye, aye.
whoosh
It is I, Iron man. How may I help you, citizen?
Lightly starched. I need these shirts back by 3 O'clock.

 

by arbi
5-05-08
I'm back in N Carolina for the final week of the study.
Uneventful 700 mile drive. Ginger ale at the tap room in W VA, fell asleep at the rest stop almost to durham, hung out today in raleigh,
coffee, crumpet, wifi, humus, pistachio baklawa, more ginger ale, more coffee, subgee and basmati rice.
took a walk in the woods, checked in. blow in a tube, piss in a cup, blood test, ekg.
lights out in 2 minutes so that's all for now.

 

by arbi
5-06-08
8 am: get hooked up to a holter monitor, do an ekg, blood pressure. 8:30 get stabbed for blood draw. 9 am: take 8 pills. some kinda hiv cure? 9:15 ekg 9:30 get stabbed
9:45 EKG, blood pressure 10:00 get stabbed 10:30 get stabbed 10:45 EKG blood pressure 11:00 get stabbed 12:00 get stabbed, ok to get out of bed.
12:45 EKG 1:00 get stabbed, lunch. 3:00, get stabbed, 5:00 EKG, get stabbed, end holter monitor. 7:00 dinner 9:00 get stabbed.
10:30 snack, watch O'bama speech, shower. 1 am, get stabbed.
How was your day?
i always forget something when i pack. this time i forgot my teddy bear, and to close the lid on my shampoo.

 

by arbi
5-15-08
my laptop broke a couple days into the study, so it's a week later now.
i read a couple of books to keep busy
the time went by, second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour.
after a week we were done.
then the road trip, up to jersey, a stop at the ocean, a day at mom's, with some rastafarian dude i met on the study.
we screened for another study - looks like i'm in. i'll call again tomorrow to make sure.

 

by arbi
5-15-08
then, another road trip, across jersey, pa, wv, oh, in, home.
checked my mail. big check from an oil company that had lost track of me last time i moved.
went to the club. got my wallet pickpocketed, lost $170 and all my IDs.
speaking of IDs, my voting lawsuit has been removed to federal court.
i'm still a bit jetlagged. today i picked up more mail, went to the bank, cancelled my cards, got rent money ready, weeded the garden etc.
i'm not sure if i should report the wallet. i hate dealing with cops.

 

by arbi
5-15-08
http://electionlawblog.org/archives/010810.html
This just in!
California's Supreme Court has ruled that Lesbians can marry each other. The decision is based on the California constitutional right to privacy.
what will probably happen next is a constitutional amendment on the november ballot
which will bring out the wakkos and elect john mccain
i blame hillary
you blame hillary for the weather.

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