All comics by bigworm

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by bigworm
10-18-11
I'm what?!! Gonna' burn in hell for wastin' your all-knowing time? Ha! That's a good one God!!! I was right behind ya' the whole time!
It is isn't it? Glad we see eye to eye.
'Sup Red? I'm sendin' a smart mouth newbie down, I want him to burn forever, alright?
Gotcha' covered Boss!!!
I guess this answers my question about God's claim to vengeance.

 

by bigworm
10-25-11
Truthfully, I thought I had it made. I held one of her biggest sheafs together.
She would reposition me if I looked a little loose. It felt good! Then... BAM, I wake up in the trash can! What's that about?
Stay cool bro'! We're here to be used.
I know, I know, but why thrown out? I feel like pickin' a lock or cleanin' a pipe or somethin' like that!
Look... you've been recovered from the trash can. If you get all bent outta' shape, you really ARE trash!

 

Lord, we have gathered in your presence to 'eat kike cunt butt fuck purple butt shit, purple butt shit' and give thanks to you for it all.
Testing the waters of forgiveness eh?
by bigworm, 10-25-11

 

You look great!
Dude... you too!
by bigworm, 10-26-11

 

Me and mom were eatin' your foot 'cus we thought you were dead. Then you woke up, but we didn't spit it out!
I guess I don't need to tell you what happened to your dick!
by bigworm, 10-26-11

 

Two bros... 'neath two rainbows... casting off sorrows... for better tomorrows! Another glorious day, eh bro?
So who ate my dick... you or mom?
by bigworm, 10-27-11

 

by bigworm
10-27-11
*boing*
*ben-wa ben-wa*
Ben? No, my name is Jim.
Oh... sorry Jim.
I didn't realize I was 'speaking' loud enough to be heard.

 

I *queef* allegiance...
by bigworm, 10-27-11

 

by bigworm
10-29-11
The boss just took it off the bulletin board! He's gonna' be pissed!
I shouldn't have done it. Now I'm going to lose my job.
He won't know it was you. He won't recognize a copy of your ass! Plus a lot of people want to tell him to kiss their ass!
You're right! I'm feeling better about it already!
On the other hand, you probably should've left it at "Kiss my ass", instead of "Kiss my alien green ass".
You gotta' point there.

 

Since you asked... I'll tell ya'. Mom took a bite of your dick, gagged on it, said it tasted like shit!
She knew I was queer before she ever took that bite.
by bigworm, 10-30-11

 

If I ever catch you in my pants again, I'll kill you.
by bigworm, 10-31-11

 

You've got to stop eating your dead relatives, especially their brains!
Okay... after I eat my dead nieces tits.
by bigworm, 10-31-11

 

by bigworm
10-31-11
Benchwarma'? I don't know if dats true or not. If it is, dats coo...
...'cus I got a HOT ass!

 

by bigworm
10-31-11
I 'spose ya'll wanna' bite ma' neck uh?
No... I vant to suck your hot rump!

 

by bigworm
11-03-11
Hey Mr. CocoPalm... you awake yet?!!
Can frogs fly senor?
I finally told 'em "Could you guys cut with the cross-talk, I'm tryin' to get some sleep!"
Wow!!!

 

by bigworm
11-03-11
Everybody... Nail yer hands in the air... like you just don't care!
I like you Jose, but Allah won't allow me to be turned on by you doing the 'Jesus dance'.
Ooooh, that did it!

 

by bigworm
11-03-11
Just do what I tell you and git yer ass up that cross!
NO!
Don't make me 'bulge-slap' you!
How come I don't have a bulge?

 

by bigworm
11-12-11
How ya'll doin' tonight? I just flotsamed in from Bethlehem...
... lucky I was on my back.

 

by bigworm
11-12-11
As you can see...
... I've been pointed in the wrong direction.

 

by bigworm
11-12-11
If I had known I was gonna' be spendin' so much time in the water...
... I woulda' shaved my underarms.

 

by bigworm
11-14-11
All the elderly women in the neighborhood wanted to be like Granny.
Move it to the left. uh huh...
They all wanted what she had... swag!
You gotta' tight ass baby!
...move it to the right...
Meanwhile, back at Granny's house...
You're gonna' take care of those bitches for me, right?

 

by bigworm
11-17-11
I like Channel 3, so you're gettin' the scoop!
I... I... don't know what to say.
Channel 3 interviewed God earlier today, and discovered that the "...portrayal of having a penis..." was the most unpleasant part of God's job.
Meanwhile, back at Granny's house...
Whew! It's good to be home, relax and take that damn potato outta' my panties!
Isn't that the truth!!?

 

by bigworm
11-17-11
What now 'island boy'?
Okay... okay! So we can't be islands, just give me a minute... uhh...
How about 'reef'? That works for me.

 

by bigworm
11-17-11
Inciter planet 'Bad Hair Day' will be orbiting Earth tomorrow, and you are reminded to not let it's comments get under your skin.
Where are you bitch? Scared to come out huh? That's 'cus your hair looks like shit! That's right, just like shit!
It'll be flyin' over in about 10 minutes. He's a duck with ugly hair.
Don't worry honey, I'll get 'im!

 

Are you slashing your katana at me? Are you slashing your katana at me? Are you slashing your katana at me?
Era uoy gnihsals ruoy anatak ta em? Era uoy gnihsals ruoy anatak ta em? Era uoy gnihsals ruoy anatak ta em?
by bigworm, 11-17-11

 

Huh?
?huH
by bigworm, 11-17-11

 

by bigworm
11-19-11
Will you go to the hop with me?
What...?
Will you or will you not go to the hop with me? Choose!
Can't we talk about that after you've chopped me down? C'mon now... let's get this show on the road!
I think I can still dance... if you'll help carry my legs.

 

by bigworm
11-19-11
Thanks for comin' out dad! That fuckin' asshole in a bunny suit chopped me up. Can you restore me?
You've restored me and taken me off that friggin' cross! Bless you!
My bad!
C'mon now! Nobody's gonna' know if you took me down half a day early!
Don't be callin' me 'nobody'!

 

by bigworm
11-19-11
I'm not callin' you nobody! I'm sayin' nobody but you and me would know if you took me down half a day early! That's all I meant.
You're forgettin' about the Holy Spirit aren't ya'?
That's a good point! Where is the Holy Spirit right now when I need it?!! I sure could use a 'comforter' right about now!
You mean I'm not comfort enough for ya'?
No, no! You're all the comfort I need! You're everything to me! I can't li...
That's good to know. I'll see ya' in a couple days.

 

by bigworm
11-19-11
What the fuck's going on here anyway? I get chopped up by an axe wielding bunnyman... restored to better than before...
... then put back on the cross, and left to die alone by my own father! What could possibly go wrong now?
I heard you call me a "...fuckin' asshole in a bunny suit."
No, you're mistaken! You were just having a 'horse moment'!

 

by bigworm
11-19-11
You callin' me a liar?
No! I'm sayin' you had what's called a 'horse moment'! That's when...
You shoula' just said yes when I asked you out to the 'hop'.
You're so right! I should have said yes! I wanna' go to the 'hop' now! I wanna' dance with you all night long! I wanna' hold you in my ar...
Liar.
You got me there.

 

by bigworm
11-22-11
Damn you!!! Look what you did!
Mocking my blindness will get you nowhere.
You shit in bed!
Mocking my inability to control my bowels is a low blow.
You get no jelly-beans until you clean that shit up.
Threatening my sweet tooth is diabolical, therefore I'm your advocate. It's as good as clean boss.

 

Fuck you God for making me such a miserable creature that man gags at the sight of me. On the other leg, fuck you again for this meatless man meal which is apparently my reward for living.
Acockroachs. Okay everybody... dig in!
by bigworm, 11-24-11

 

by bigworm
11-25-11
Who are you?
I represent the new order. I am 'Monkbot', and I have come to replace you.
You can suck my dick!
I do not suck dick!
Then you'll never replace me.
Monkbot does not understand.

 

by bigworm
12-06-11
ummm...
Surely you jest! I'm a fucking horse in case you couldn't tell!
uuhhh...
You've heard of a yard-stick... right?
Oh I got it! things a horse says before floppin' it on the bar in a raunchy drinking contest!
Stand back if you wanna' see the proof! Stand still if you wanna' be slapped by it!

 

by bigworm
12-06-11
The Devil seeks God's approval for his latest invention... The 'Icky D', aka InterplanetaryCosmostousKornholingYourmom Dildo.
Okay, let's see it!
Open the cage!
Ta-daaaaa!
*sniff, slither slither, sniff sniff*
Why is it making those sniffing sounds?
It's looking for your mom.

 

by bigworm
12-06-11
There's a bug in it already, 'cus I don't have a mom!
No no, it's not a bug! If you don't have a mom for some reason, it butt-fucks you!
I don't like it!
I can change it!
I love it!
I won't change a thing.

 

by bigworm
12-06-11
Speaking of changes... uhhh...
Yessir?
Maybe you could increase it's girth a little?

 

by bigworm
12-07-11
I'm sorry honey, you can't go to the protest because there's a real possibility of trouble.
Why can't I go? All my friends get to go!
Son, if your friends jumped off a cliff, would you jump off too just because they did?
Why do you always use the same dumb example?
Well then, what if all your friends wiped each other's poopie butts? Would you do that just because they did it?

 

by bigworm
12-12-11
Our man on the street Trudge Honklin is out gathering opinions on the recent firing of Santa at the Pleasant Pole Mall. Take it away Trudge...
What do you think of the recent firing of Santa?
I'm outraged!
But he was caught having sex with underage elves.
Right! He coulda' fucked me and kept his job!

 

Saint Bukakke had been annointed so many times, he was often mistaken (due to his coat of gas filled curd blobs), as the 'Lamb of God'.
HERE St.Bukakke... HERE Jesus!!! (whatever your name is). Time to pull some wool! Got some curd for you too boy! Come 'n get it! Come on!
by bigworm, 12-13-11

 

by bigworm
12-13-11
Mom, some kids at school called me 'white trash'!
Son, you are NOT 'white trash', and you will never BE 'white trash'. Tell them that, and for God's sake stand up for yourself!
Mom?
What is it son?
Did you put vaseline on your tits?

 

by bigworm
12-13-11
Now you remember what you supposed to do?
Ya! Don't let nobody hurt the girls, and get all the money.
Any questions?
Just one... after they turn a trick...
...I get to eat 'em clean, right?

 

by bigworm
12-13-11
Remember what yer supposed to say?
Three holes to choose from. Take yer pick! She can suck, fuck, or beat yer...
Yer what? Beat yer what?
Du... du, beat yer du... du...
You can do it man, you almost got it! Just say it!
Beat yer du... du... beat yer duck! Beat yer duck!

 

by bigworm
12-22-11
How am I gonna get this bat out of my house?
beep eee be be be beep eee eee boo beep!
Oh my god, it's actually communicating with me. I'll use the google 'bat to english' translator and see what it's saying!
*Open the door you fucking idiot!*
How did he know I was an idiot?

 

So you're celibate, and have no elbows? What an amazing combination! Can you masturbate?
by bigworm, 1-02-12

 

by bigworm
1-04-12
So... who do we have on the 'Smite List' for today?
We start off today with a Greek shepard that was caught fucking sheep. Quite frankly, I can hardly wait to smite his head off!
Hold on there mighty avenger! This isn't no Nation of Islam thing. This is a traditional Christian organization! We do things the old fashioned way.
Yessir! I'm sorry sir! What does his 'Almighty' want the 'Mighty Avenger' to do?
Well, No.1... you can stop calling yourself the 'Mighty Avenger'.

 

by bigworm
1-04-12
You understand me fag-face? You don't go callin' yourself no 'Mighty Avenger'!
But you just called me 'Mighty Avenger'!
I just called you 'fag-face' too.
Then I shall not call myself 'fag-face' either 'Almighty One'.
No, you can call yourself 'fag-face'. That's cool. I mean... you know, you are a 'fag-face'!

 

by bigworm
1-04-12
Alright... so back to the 'Smite List'! We got us a 'sheep-fuckin' shepard. Is that right 'shit-for-brains'?
Is his 'Almighty' speaking to me?
There's only two of us here, right!!? Are you implying that I'm calling myself 'shit-for-brains', 'shit-for-brains'?
No 'Almighty One', I was not implying that. I am 'shit-for-brains'.
So, give me your full name, and say it like you mean it!
I am fag-face shit-for-brains. I am fag-face shit-for-brains.

 

by bigworm
1-04-12
I can't HEAR you!!!
I AM FAG-FACE SHIT-FOR-BRAINS!!!
Good! That's real good! Now, tell me who's your boss?
My boss is FAG-FACE SHIT-FOR-BRAINS!!!
I tried to keep you on boy... I really did!
Does this mean I'm fired?

Showing page 26.

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