All comics by Beeko180

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by Beeko180
8-30-08
So Boss what are we gonna do with all these Newspapers?
Just hurry up and deliver the first load ok.
You know, you have a very very VERY annoying personality. And I don't like it one bit.
Did You know that your gay.
The End By James.
No but I knew you are.
I never win a battle.........

 

by Beeko180
8-30-08
HA HA YOUR-A MOR-ON
Shut up you chinese twit!!!!!!!!!
That racist!
The End By James.
1+1=0
That's not correct! HA HA

 

by Beeko180
8-30-08
So do you like my new outfit.
Yeah. why?
You think your sooooooooo hot in that outfit don't you?
The End By James.
Was that a question or a statement?
A statement and a question.

 

by Beeko180
8-30-08
listen lady for the last time We do NOT have a defibulator.
Well you see what i meant by that was a "toilet"
Oh, well yes we do have a toilet.
May you direct me to it's direction please.
The End By James.
Uhhhhhhhhhh......... hmmmmmmm this one's a toughy..... uhh No.
Oh well then I guess I'll be takin' a wizz outside in the bushes. Goodbye.

 

by Beeko180
8-30-08
Hi Mario.
Oh-a hi-a.
So what's been happening lately?
Luigi got-a surgery done on his-a fractured-a spine-a
The End By James.
And?
he died-a.

 

by Beeko180
8-30-08
OMG it's a pink cow!!!!!!!!!
Moo-Mee
I'm not your moo-mee!
Moo-Mee
The End By James.
I'm sorry about that I'm trying to teach pinky how to say Mummy. And other words......................

 

by Beeko180
8-30-08
Your TALL
Why thank you.
And ugly.
The End By James.
I'LL GET YOU OR THAT YOU LITTLE TWIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

by Beeko180
8-30-08
I'll Kill you!!!!!!!!!!!
and how are you gunna' do that fatty?
Never underestimate a knife to your throat.
The End By James.
In other News, a man was murdered in the city today during the time of the national anthem at the Olypics. Scientists have discovered the reason for this dispute which involves nothing but an insult.

 

by Beeko180
8-30-08
Here's your cup sir.
Why do you always give me this sized cup?
Look, if you want a cup then take it if you want to piss me off to breaking point then I'll take the damn cup back ok.
I just wanted to know why you always give me this sized cup thats all.
The End By James.
Give me the cup or I'll rip your head off!

 

by Beeko180
8-31-08
So sir would you please tell me what I just told you?
Yeah sure what was it?
I told you this: There was once a little pony called tiffany. she was often refurred to as the fat-butted pony from the land of happy losers. One Day the pony got shot. The End.
Here's my version: There once was a pain-in-the-but CEO who, despite all Jimmy's efforts was a very Very VERY Annoying man. One Day Jimmy Shot the pain-in-the-but CEO in the head. The End.
I have a question. Is the Pain-in-the-but CEO referring to me or some random man from a random place?
No it's you I'm referring to dood.

 

by Beeko180
8-31-08
Hi I'm Mr. StinkyButt
Uhh Y-eah. I can see that............
I LOVE you. Do you love me?
Are you g-g-g-g-g-g-g-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G--GAY
The End By James.
Why sonny-boy what's your name?
My name's Blue. Now piss off ciggy you stick resembling cigarette.

 

by Beeko180
8-31-08
Hi I'm Mr. StinkyButt
Uhh Y-eah. I can see that............
I LOVE you. Do you love me?
Are you g-g-g-g-g-g-g-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G--GAY
The End By James.
Why sonny-boy what's your name?
My name's Blue. Now piss off ciggy you stick resembling cigarette.

 

by Beeko180
8-31-08
Just a small town girl. Livin' in a lonely world. She took the midnight train goin' an-y-where.
Just a city boy . Born and raised in south detroit. He took the midnight train goin' an-y-where.
The End By James.
I love you.
Oh, well I hate your guts and I wish I had a gun so I could shoot you in the head.

 

by Beeko180
8-31-08
Sir, I have a quick question. How are you going to win the upcoming election?
No Comment.
Ok then, If you had a choice of gender wt would it be?
No Comment.
The End By James.
Are you gay?
No Comment.

 

by Beeko180
9-01-08
Daddy Can I pweeease have an Ice Cweam.......
Honey, that ugly face isn't gunna get you nowhere.
Pweeeeease.......................
No.
The End By James.
Pwetty pweeeeease wit a chewwy on tup........
I SAID NO NOW SHUT THE HELL UP YOU STUPID GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!

 

by Beeko180
9-01-08
ARRRRG!!!
What's wrong?
ARRRRG!!!! I'M GRUMPY CAN'T YOU TELL!!! ARRRRRG!!!!!!!!!!!!
Come on man cheer up.
The End By James.
WHY SHOULD I!!!!!!!!
It's like I always say: It's better to be gay, than to be grumpy. Now what would you rather be?

 

by Beeko180
9-01-08
Hi Mario.
Hi-a Red-a.
So what's happening dood?
Luigi's-a done it a-gain-a.
The End By James.
Done what?
He's-a gotten-a drunk and-a jumpeed off-a a bridge-a and-a fractured his-a spine again-a

 

by Beeko180
9-01-08
We are gathered here today to say goodbye to the victims of the 9/11 bombings.
Look sir, I found a penny!
Look, this is a memorial ceremony you don't tel us pointless garbage that nobody cares about unless it's the death of George Bush ok.
The End By James.
Ok. But your not getting my penny. hmph!
I don't give a frick ok.

 

by Beeko180
9-01-08
Let me ask you a question. Do think it's hardy to be black or white in this world?
Definitely black.
Why?
Because people are always scared of you when your black.
The End By James.
That's a very reasonable explanation. Do you think I should be black or white in my next life?
Black. Because your weak and nobody's scared of you. But if you were black you would be weak but everyone would be scared of you.

 

by Beeko180
9-01-08
AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVIL DUCKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*quack*
*fluff*
The End By James.
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE FARTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*quack?*

 

by Beeko180
9-01-08
Give me the damn Carrots or I'll shoot!!!!
Ok just don't shoot. Here.
Thanks.
The End By James.
Bye Bye

 

by Beeko180
9-01-08
Give me the damn Carrots or I'll shoot!!!!
Ok just don't shoot. Here.
Thanks.
The End By James.
Bye Bye

 

by Beeko180
9-02-08
Hi Robot.
I'm not a robot! I take offence to that because I'm a Robo-Droid.
Reeeeeally.........
Like they say on Family Guy blue Harvest: You can kiss the back of the lower part of the canister that is my body.
The End By James.
And that's uhhh a what?
My butt.

 

by Beeko180
9-02-08
*Kissy Kissy Kissy Kissy Kissy Kissy*......
Oi you two stop Kissing in public!!!!!!!
The End By James.
Ooo. Here's a nice incentive: Piss off!!!
Oh yeah, well here's my nice incentive: GET A ROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

by Beeko180
9-02-08
Ooooo a Bunny!!!
OI!!!!!!!
Yes
Your dead.....
The End By James.
Bunny's got an axe!

 

by Beeko180
9-02-08
AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET OFF THE FRICKEN ROAD YOU MANIAC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*VROOM* *VROOM* *VROOM* *VROOM* *VROOM* *VROOM*
Look Fred, I told you to turn right at ignorant loser Street and then turn left at I hate you Street. But what do you do. You drive right down You suck My Avenue
The End By James.
HEEEEELP!!!!!!!!!!! EE-ORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

by Beeko180
9-02-08
I killed your wife.
Well I'm gonna snap yo pencil!
*in slow motion* NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Oh God the Pain!!!!!
The Pain of it ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The End By James
I'LL KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! FIRST, I'LL RIP OUT YOUR HEART!! THEN I'LL CUT IT UP INTO TINY AS PIECES NEXT I'LL BURN IT. AND THEN WATCH IT BURN!!!!!! MUWA HUA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All over a PENCIL. Boy do you need a shrink or WHAT!

 

by Beeko180
9-03-08
Hey hot stuff. I wanna squeeze em'.
*gawks*
Your Weird.
The End By James.
No I'm not weird. I'm a person who thinks that derogatory comments aren't an of fence to women.
Ok now that's just plain dumb.

 

by Beeko180
9-03-08
Hey hot stuff. I wanna squeeze em'.
*gawks*
Your Weird.
The End By James.
No I'm not weird. I'm a person who thinks that derogatory comments aren't an offence to women.
Ok now that's just plain dumb.

 

by Beeko180
9-03-08
Have you ever wondered why we are still as dumb as we were 6 years ago. I mean, you'd expect us to have learnt from our mistakes. But have we?
Sadly no.
That wasn't a question.
Then what was it? Huh? What was it?
The End By James.
It was a Rhitorical Question.
What's a Rhituzozicle-Whatty?

 

by Beeko180
9-04-08
Comments are sucky statements.Wouldn't you agree?
No Comment.
I don't like Comments.
Then what am I supposed to say. No statement?
The End By James.
Yeah, that's fine with me.
Fine then.

 

by Beeko180
9-04-08
And now for 1 million dollars. *drum roll*. Name two continents in 2 seconds.
Afric-an-d-ant-arc-tica
A fricken ant ark ticker? I'm sorry that's incorrect.
WHAT!!!!!!!!!!
The End By James.
You lose.
But I wanna get a million kangaroos. Waaaaaaaaaaaaa. No seriously, they're selling them down at the cheap shop for a dollar each.

 

by Beeko180
9-04-08
Oh, Hi Pinky.
Moo-Mee.
*giggles* Heh heh Moo-Mee rhymes with Boo-Bee. *laughs hysterically*
Moo-Mee?
The End By James
Oh, Hi Farmer Robins. Did you now Moo-Mee rhymes with Boo-Bee.
Now that's just rude. And I hope this is a lesson to all you lonely losers out there readin' this comic!

 

by Beeko180
9-04-08
Watcha doin?
Playin' the Sims.
Is that her-
Yes that's her leg
The End By James.
So that mean's that's her-her- Are you kidding me dude!
No, that's definitely her head. *tilts head to the side*

 

by Beeko180
9-04-08
Sometimes I think about Rabbits.
Oh yeah, well I think about Rabbits more than you do.
No I think about Rabbits more than you do.
Oh, well I think about Rabbits all the time.
The End By James.
Take that!
Take what?

 

by Beeko180
9-04-08
So did hear what happened to Bud.
No. What happened?
He gave birth to another seed.
Really what did he name that one?
A moronically stupid piece of seed that will one day get stood on by some lonel

 

by Beeko180
9-04-08
So did hear what happened to Bud.
No. What happened?
He gave birth to another seed.
Really what did he name that one?
A moronically stupid piece of seed that will one day get stood on by some lonely loser walking through the forest trying to find a bush to take a wizz on.

 

by Beeko180
9-05-08
One fine Day in the Modern part of the Woods.........
*pop* I like fff-fudge dip.
Y-eah i can see that.
One fine Day in the Modern part of the Woods.........
Do you like ffff-fudge dip?
On the odd occasion yes.
One fine Day in the Modern part of the Woods.........
Ifff you had to chose between a reaaally hot date and ffff-udge dip. Which one would one would y-ou pick? I'd pick ffff-fudge dip.
*scoot* *scoot* Your weird

 

by Beeko180
9-06-08

 

by Beeko180
9-06-08
Your Mama is so fat that when she walks she Rolls!
Oh yeah well your mama is so ugly she looks like some retartded overweight demon who's so ugly he can't even look in the mirror otherwise it'll kill him.
Oh yeah well your mama is so fat that when she ate a car she said to the owner "you make one hell of a cookie"
Oh yeah well your mama is so fat that when she went on a plane she was told to get away because she was overbalancing the load!
The End By James.
Yo mama is so ugly that she has a sausage instead of a banana.
That's too far man. If your gunna go low why won't you say something like this. Your mama is so old that when she was in kindee she was older than jesus.

 

by Beeko180
9-06-08
So how is it going at home sir?
Not that good
Well my wife is complaining about me bringing strippers into the house and watching them dance on the coffee table while my son watches TV.
The End By James.
And what happened concerning that.
I got kicked out of home and now I basically live on dead goldfish I manage to scoop from the sewers. Mind you those fish were once domestic pets that died and were soon after flushed down the toilet.

 

by Beeko180
9-06-08
Your Mama is so damn old she sat in the back of the Classroom throwing papyrus airplanes at jesus.
Your Mama is so fat she went to take the dog for a walk but instead she took the dog in a breadroll because she thought it was a HOT DOG.
Your Mama is so fat she sends tremors through the ocean big enough to produce Category 6 King Tides.
grrrrrrrrrr.......
One hour later....................................
Too far?

 

by Beeko180
9-06-08
Dear Mary
*whistles jingle bells while reading note*
I miss you. I miss you every day of my life and I wish I wasn't broke that way I could fly over to seatille to stalk you and hopefully get in bed with your mother and do bad things to her. I think-
*whistles jingle bells while lighting note on fire with a matchstick*
SPARK
The End By James.
*whistles jingle bells while walking away*

 

by Beeko180
9-06-08
But Daddy I don't wanna please your needs.
I DON GIVE A PIGS MANGLED BUM NOW STRIP AND GET ON THE FRIGGEN BED!!!!!!!!
NOW LAY ON THE FRIGGEN BED!!!!!!!!!!!!!
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o k-k-k-k-k

 

by Beeko180
9-06-08
AHHHHHH HONEY THE STOVES ON FIRE!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BOO HA HA HA GOTCHA!!!!!!!!!!!
Have you ever thought of actually walking through the door when you come home from work?
I dunno I was too busy trying to scare the hell out of you to even notice. HEH HE HE HE HEH HEH HEH HEH HEHE heh heh heh he he he hehe hehe he ehe he he
Honey if you don't stop scaring the hell out of me all the time I'm gonna have to ring your mother and tell her how much of a bad boy you've been. Do you want that?

 

by Beeko180
9-06-08
Relax We can talk it over.
Well we can't talk it over because we're finished!
WHAT!!!!!!!
That's right. There is no we and there never was a we
The End By James.
But Why?
Because you don't have a wee.

 

by Beeko180
9-06-08
No part of this song can be reproduced and made as his/hers own unless you have the proper authorization to do so by James/ Beeko180. James V.R Pty Ltd © copyright 2008
But soft, what lies yonder window breaks wind.
It is the east, and juliet is for fun. Arise my fun and kill my brother. Whom I am sick and pale of. That though her maid farts far more fair than she.
but not my fart for she is envious. Her stinky stanky fart is making thee sick and green. And only farts will bear it. hold it in my love. It is my fart O it is my smelly fart. Oh that she knows it is
It was ME!
________________________________ The End By James.
Oh fart again, smelly angel. For thou fart is as glorious as it is the moon. As is a fricking messenger of hell. Unto the white-upturned ugly eyes. Of mortals fall forward to gaze upon your Boozum.
When you stride you look like poo on fire. And a pig wizzing in the bushes

 

by Beeko180
9-07-08
And why do you think you have what it takes to be the A.R.B Collection's newest character.
Well I have a very oblique sense of humour.
Not good enough.
Why not?
The End By James
That's it. Get out!!!
But-but- but I haven't auditioned.

 

by Beeko180
9-07-08
Hi welcome to the show where we tell jokes that are very crude, very shrude and very rude.
Yes Tom now what joke do you have for us today?
Well here it is: What do Elvis Presley and David Bowe have in common.
What do they have in common Tom?
The End By James.
They both had wives exept David Bowe was using his to cover up his gayness.
Wait so your telling me after all these years that Elvis wasn't gay? But I was told that he rooted his wife to cover it all up! So the kid who told me that was telling a fib! How in hell did I even...

 

by Beeko180
9-07-08
Hi, I'm tom. Welcome to the show where we tell very crude, very shrewd and very rude jokes.
Yes Tom. What joke do have in store for us today?
Here's my joke: What does a radio and Bob Dole have in common?
What do they have in common tom?
The End By James.
When Bob Dole isn't singing in the shower he's talking. When a radio isn't singing it's talking.
HAHAHAHAHAHA THIS ONES SO STUPID I CAN HEAR BOB DOLE TALKIG LIKE A RADIO IN THE SHOWER!!!!!!

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