All comics by CrustyPussyBlood

 

Um...
...
What the fuck am I supposed to do with this?

 

Sometimes when I'm bored I pretend I'm a little black girl.
My name is Betty when I'm a little black girl.
I like little black girls.

 

Suck it! Suck it! Sssuck it!
Mmmm hmmm mmm.
by CrustyPussyBlood, 6-17-08

 

Look into my freaky eyes.
Motorhead rules. Blig blorp breg.

 
Welcome to the world of AIDS.
What?

 

I have a question. What do you do for a living?
Here's a question for you.
Why are you still here?

 

C'mon mothafucka! Try something!
OK twat waffle! Get ready!
Sniff this!
UGH! THAT'S AWFUL!
I haven't washed my cunt in five months!
I'm going to barf.

 

Hey faggot! You're pretty hot. Wanna go out with me?
Well...
Shut up faggot! Check out my cunt-shaped mouth.
It's certainly interesting...but I'm a lesbian.
I'm a Cunt Mouth!
I have mixed feelings about this.

 

So? What's your ansewer, faggot?
Well dude...I think I'm going to have to say...no. Good day.
Get back here faggot!
CUNT is the loneliest number that I'll ever do...

 

Are you going to go see the new "Incredible Hulk" movie?
No.
Me neither.

 

Hello sir. Would you like to eat some green shit?
I want you to look into my freaky eyes.
Hello ma'am. Would you like to eat some green shit?
Would you like to suck my cunt?
*Sigh* Why won't anybody eat my green shit?

 

 

Ewww...you're hand smells like decomposing fish.
I was about to say the same thing to you.
I've been itching my vag.
So...do you like waffles?

 

Waiting...
Waiting...
Heh heh...this is going to be sweet.

 

Hey faggot! Look at my cunt-shaped mouth!
Hey faggot! Look at my cunt-shaped mouth!
Hey faggot! Look at my cunt-shaped mouth!
Hey faggot! Look at my cunt-shaped mouth!
Hey faggot! Look at my cunt-shaped mouth!
Hey faggot! Look at my cunt-shaped mouth!

 

I wonder if this thing will fit up my cunt.

 

Hey mister, what're ya doin'?
I'm hammering nails into my head.
Tee-hee. You're funny!
I feel nothing. I am dead inside.

 

What the fuck do you want faggot?
I look UP to you.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That pretty fucking amusing, you little twat waffle.
Thank you.
Now shut up and look at my cunt-shaped mouth.
It's CUNTastic.

 

Hello Mr.Mouth. Nice to see you again. Would you like to eat some green shit?
Shut up faggot! Nobody wants to eat your fucking green shit!
I think YOU want to eat my green shit.
I'd rather eat a turd pancake.
Excellent choice sir. Would you like some green shit on the side?
I don't know why I keep comming back here.

 
I see you motherfucker.

 

I'm bored.
by CrustyPussyBlood, 7-19-08

 

Would you like some coffee.
That would lovely. Thanks.
by CrustyPussyBlood, 7-20-08

 

Would you like some coffee?
That would be lovely. Thanks.
by CrustyPussyBlood, 7-20-08

 

My life is filled with sorrow and agony.
There is nothing in this world for me but despair and misery.
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
Broccoli is good on pizza.

 

Hello.
by CrustyPussyBlood, 7-26-08

 

I sure hope that a giant squirel with an out-of-date New Year's sash doesn't attack me an axe.
by CrustyPussyBlood, 7-28-08

 

Damn I wanna tap dat ass.
by CrustyPussyBlood, 7-28-08

 

You lookin' for some fun tonight?
You're not a cop are you?
Sucky sucky, fucky fucky. For twenty bucks you can ride my pussy all night.
My hero.

 
Hehehe
Who took a shit on my carpet?

 

My girlfriend dumped me.
There are other fish in the sea.
Don't condescend to me.
Don't be such a whiny little pussy.

 

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Lemy.
Lemy who?
Is this one lame enough for ya buddy?
Lemy in!

 
Otter pops are fun.

 

"When happens when you have ice in your ass?"
*Hilarious pause for pseudo-dramatic effect.*
Zzzzzzz...
"ASSicles!!!"

 

Yay! I finally get to use a public restroom all by myself!
Jackpot!

 

I'm sorry but no, we won't be hiring you.
Fuck.
Is it because I plundered your cornhole in the men's room before the interview?
Partially.
Damn...I knew I should've waited until AFTER I got the job

 

I got locked out of my house.
What a humurous situation.

 

I'm old.
I've fallen and I can't get up.

 

What was your favorite episode of "Who's The Boss?"
I liked the one where Samantha wanted to go to a party and Tony said she couldn't, but she went anyway...
So Tony went to the place where the pary was and found all these teenagers fucking and smoking crack...
So Tony told them he wouldn't tell thier parents if the chicks all sucked his cock, and all the jocks had to stand around and watch as Danza bukakeed thier cheerleader girlfriends!

 

Hey faggot! You wanted to talk to me?
Yeah, would you mind babysitting Todd Friday night?
What's in it for me cum breath?
I'll pay you twenty bucks plus three popsicles out of the fridge.
I...I don't eat popsicles.
Does this have something to do with your cunt-shaped mouth?

 

Hey faggot! I'm watching you tonight, so get your thumb out of your ass and tell me where the booze is.
Mommy says your my "tonight friend"!
Eh...I don't know about that.
What do you want to do first? We could play video games or we could color or we could build models...
Why don't you go outside and stand in the middle of the road for a while?
Uncle Jerry went to jail for being my "tonight friend" once.

 

Beer beer beer...
What're ya doing?
Listen faggot, why don't you go play with your computer or something?
Mommy says I'm not allowed to use the computer without adult superstition.
Hahaha! You said superstition instead of supervision. That's funny because you're dumb!
Once when I was sleeping, Uncle Jerry put his weiner in my mouth and took a picture.

 

What the fuck do you want?! Go away!
I want to go on the intranet.
Then fucking go you waste of cum!
You have to make sure I'm not talking to strangers.
You know Todd, strangers are just friends you haven't met yet.
That's what Uncle Jerry said about "The Gimp".

 

Hey faggot! You eat here too?
Hey Cunt Mouth. I like the green shi-Hey! You're supposed to be babysitting! Where's Todd?!
Don't worry he's on his little computer. I'm sure it'll keep him busy.
What the fuck?!
I think he's talking to somebody calling themselves "TrannyDan69". Sounds like a fun guy.

 

Todd?!
TODD?!
*Just pretend she's holding a note.
*"Dear Mom, I have gone to the bus station to meet my new friend Dan. He wants to give me something called a 'Hot Carl.'"
AHAHAHAHA!!!

 

We have to get to that bus station!
We?
We have to save my Todd's sweet virgin butthole!
*Snicker*
Hold on Todd! I'm comming for you! I'll save your virgin ass!
Yeah, if TrannyDan69 isn't already cumming IN him.

 

Todd! Thank goodness I found you! Are you alright?
I'm fine mommy. Dan kisses like Uncle Jerry.
What?
He kisses with his penis!
Ehem! I'd like my twenty dollars now, faggot.

 

I've got a date Friday night!
That's nice. Who's going to watch your son, Jake?
I got Cunt Mouth to do it. He's only charging me twenty bucks!
Uh oh...
*Did you honestly think I was going to go through the whole series without having him say this?
Het faggot! Check out my cunt-shaped mouth!*
It's quite cuntly.

 

The new Metallica album is comming out in just a few days!
It's like going to be so awesome when I can finally own it! James Hetfield is so the man!
My apocalypse! Yeah yeah yeah!
You're a fucking faggot dude.

 

Duuude the new Metallica album comes out Friday! It's going to be sooo sweet!
If you say so.
It's going to rock balls! Have you heard any of it yet?
*Sigh* Yeah. It's required of all radio stations now to play a Metallica song at the top of every hour.
Really?
It's called Lars' Law.

 

Duuude! Death Magnetic! What!
How can you be excided about a release by a band whose last four albums have progressively gotten worse?
Uh...I dunno. I guess you're right.
Duuude! There's a new AC/DC album comming out!
*Sigh*

Showing page 3.

« Previous Next »