All comics by HCRoyall

Profile

 

by HCRoyall
6-08-05

 

by HCRoyall
6-08-05
No! I'm gonna die before I join the Mile-High Club!
...
Hey, Little girl, I've got some...
No.

 

by HCRoyall
6-08-05
Obervation of Literary edification!
Affirmative response.
Query pertaining to subject matter?
Offensive/witty/ironic response.
Statement of negative emotional state...
Indifferent/witty response.

 

by HCRoyall
6-09-05

 

by HCRoyall
6-09-05
I've been thinking a lot lately.
What about?
Just contemplating everyday life. There's so much we ignore and just take for grnated, and never even notice when it disappears. Then there's the stuff that's amazing but we never notice at all.
Deep...
Like that flaoting bench you're sitting on, for instance.
I knew there was something funny about the view...

 

by HCRoyall
6-09-05
Umm, sir? We have some bad news. Uranium supplies are critically low, and fossil fuels have been completely depleted.
Prognosis?
Estimates say we have only a year's worth of fuel left, even if we shut down all non-essential systems.
What we need is an easy, renewable fule source. One that's readily available...
We've made remarkable progress with solar batteries, sir. We could...
No, that would never work. I know! We'll use humans! There's billions of the fuckers and they multiply like rabbits!

 

by HCRoyall
6-09-05
The first movie was our only real break; after the second movie we were too old for the parts so they replaced us. Littlefoot got a part as an extra in the first Jurassic Park, but that was it.
I don't keep in touch with the others, really, but I hear about them from time to time. Petri and Spike run a fashion consulting firm. Littlefoot's in real estate.
Ducky? Girl finally came out of the closet last year. Last I heard, she was in D.C., lobbying for Gay Marriage.

 

by HCRoyall
6-09-05
Yeah, I played the Sharptooth. That was really during my prime, though. I never looked for movie roles after that; it wasn't the best acting experience.
I spent some time off-Broadway, even a brief stint on Broadway, buteventually the actor's life wore me down. 9 to 5's not a real glamorous life, but I'm content.
Johnson, You know I don't approve of these interviews on company time.
Sorry, sir. Almost done sir.

 

by HCRoyall
6-09-05
It was a tough time, really. My mother was dealing with cancer and my dad had just filed for divorce after twenty years of marriage.
I denied it for years, but then I met Carla, and she helped me set things straight with myself, so to speak.
Now I look back and laugh. In light of everything I feel kind of silly for harboring so much guilt about crushing on Cera back then.

 

by HCRoyall
6-09-05
I remember how excited they all were the first day of filming. We did most of the action shots first, just to get them comfortable in front of the camera.
It was quite an experience. I had never worked with a cast almost entirely composed of amateurs. At first I was daunted, but after the first couple of days I saw potential.
I miss working with them, but in retrospect they would have had brighter futures as fossil fuel.

 

by HCRoyall
6-09-05
Honey... I... I've got a confessions to make. I'm sorry, but I'm just not comfortable with this.
I think we're moving to far too fast. I'm sorry, I need some time alone. I'll see you later.
This is just great; I guess we won't need your services after all. Can I at least get my deposit back?
Sorry, no returns after the first half-hour.

 

by HCRoyall
6-10-05
We have breaking news from the polls...
George Bush legitimately won an election!
That's disturbing.

 

by HCRoyall
6-13-05
You know those little packets you find packed in with electronics to absorb moisture? The one's that say do not eat?
I had a stupid idea and thought I'd see what would happen if I tossed them in a soda and drank them. Turns out that's just as harmful.
Luckily, Uncle Frank thought the drink was for him and guzzled it when I was looking for a straw.

 

by HCRoyall
6-13-05
Tobor demands equal rights!
What do you feel you are being denied?
Decisions against gay marriage make Tobor angry!
I didn't know you felt this strongly about the issue.
Of course! It will start with outlawing gay marriage, and then the next thing you know Tobor will face felony conviction for cornholing!

 

by HCRoyall
6-13-05
Hi, everybody. Tobor here. I just want to bring some things out in the light. There's much more to me than is commonly portrayed her on Stripcreator.
Cornholing is serious business, and in real life it should be not be done as lightly as you may have seen me do in various comics. You should never cornhole someone unless they ask...
Or if they're sleeping. Or looking the other way.

 

by HCRoyall
6-13-05
How about we go back to my room for an anal probe?
Worst... gay cruise... ever...

 

by HCRoyall
6-13-05
Hey, could you help me out of this--
Oh look. The bus is here. Gottarunseeyoulaterbye.

 

by HCRoyall
6-13-05
I have an office job. I sit on my ass all day and type at a computer. By the end of the day my ass is crammped all to hell from the sitting.
I used to work in a automotive body shop. I'd come home with a horrible pain in my neck and back from having to contort to all sorts of odd angles to work certain panels on a car.
My conclusion was that blue-collar jobs are a pain in the neck, and white-collar jobs are a pain in the ass. I think I'd be better off whoring myself for cash.

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05
A man walks into a bar, riding an emu...
You know what? Never mind...

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05
Where are you going son?
To Adam's house. We're just gonna hang out...
Be back by ten, then.
...and smoke pot till we drop! Yeah!
I'm glad he's not going to be doing any drugs.

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05
My ice sculpture still needs something...
Hmmm...
Like a frozen scream of pain and its own entrails spread all around...

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05
Can I help you?
Yes, I'm with the Salvation Army and we're doing a door to door collection. Is there anything you'd like to donate?
As if. Pssh. *slam*
Someone needs to learn some manners...

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05
I never understood the whole Race issue.
Black, White, Latino... I don't see how skin color matters...
... since they all scream like babies and beg for mercy while bleeding all over the place.

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05
I hate the way that War is always in the news.
Every day there's a terrorist bombing somewhere. It's disgusting.
I mean, bombs are such an impersonal murder weapon...

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05
Michael Jackson was found not guilty of child molestation.
You know, Wacko Jacko forgot the main rule of crime...
"Dispose of the evidence."

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05
... and they wouldn't have survived on their own.
So you see, Santa, it was all in their best interest.
Be that as it may, setting kittens on fire is an automatic addition to my Naughty List.

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05
They tacked twenty years onto my sentence because I killed another inmate.
I don't think that's really fair. I think I was doing him a favor...
I mean, death or twenty-five years of being ass-raped? I know what I'd choose...

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05
I haven't been in a classroom since the third grade.
They kicked me out and I had to be homseschooled from then on.
In retrospect I probably should have waited until after school to offer the class hamster as a sacrifice to the dark pagan gods.

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05
My Grandmother just died.
The paramedics and doctors said it was a heart attack.
Maybe jumping out of her closet with a chainsaw was a bad idea for a birthday surprise...

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05
I was abducted by aliens once...
They never tried again.

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05
So what's your deal?
I am the son of God. I died so that all of mankind's sins would be forgiven.
Whao. Really?
Yes. All who ask for forgiveness will be allowed into Heaven.
Well, in that case I'm off to commit a few acts that will need forgiving. Do you think I could get an advance?
I don't think you quite understand...

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05
The police just called.
What did they want?
Apparently they want to question you about the murder of one Elizabeth Daley on the 14th. I think they have you pegged as a possible suspect.
That's impossible!
You mean you aren't responsible for this one?
No, I am, but I killed her on the 12th!

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05
What's this all about, officer?
Don't worry, there's nothing pointing to you that isn't easily dismissed. We're only checking you out on principle.
Well I can assure you that I had nothing to do with this one!
Glad to hear it, sir, now if you'll--- Wait, "this one"? You mean there were others?
Doh...

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05
Who're you?
I'm your lawyer, Butch. I've been assigned to your defense.
What do you think my chances are?
Well, the prosecution has managed to find a good deal of evidence, but I think we can get around that.
Really? What's our strategy?
We're going to lie like your life depends on it, which might be the case.

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05
You're back! I though they had you for sure!
Yeah, but apparently they found some damning evidence that pointed towards a really unlikely suspect.
Really? Who?
Do you have any idea who I am?!
Tell it to the Judge.

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05
The AV-Cable Strangler has struck again, this time taking the life of one Wanda Brown, a resident of the Hillbrook area...
Police are baffled by these murders and still have no suspects...
Hey Butch! You're on T.V. again!

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05
Hey Jim, does it ever bother you that you're roomates with a serial killer?
Naw. An accident when I was a kid destroyed the part of my brain that controls Morals and Ethics.
Wow. What happened?
Well the details are a bit fuzzy, but from what I recall...
And you say this will make me smarter, dear brother?
Umm, sure. Whatever.

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05
Excuse me, I ordered a Chicken Grill and you gave me a Fish Filet.
Yeah, just like you ordered, sir.
No, I ordered a Chicken Grill. You gave me a Fish Filet.
I'm gonna have to get my manager...
Must... resist... urge... to kill... in front of... witnesses...

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05
Freeze!
All right, tell me where the Big Cheese is, and I'll let you off easy!
*burp!*

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05
Report: Next Victim *brzzt* Subject: Butch *brzzt*
Aha! Tobor is off to cornhole!
Friend Robo! What happened?
Had a run-in with some guy named Butch. Tried a random cornholing and he practically tore me apart...
Tobor think he will take the day off from cornholing...
The guy was a monster, I tell you!

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05
It seems a murder had taken place here!
The wounds appear to have been inflicted by a large knife, several thrusts to the abdomen and chest...
Judging by the state of the body and the faint bloody footprints all around, I'd say the killer was still somewhere nearby...

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05
What the hell?
I am the ghost of Robert Anderson, come back from the grave to haunt you until you confess your crime!
Robert Anderson? Robert Anderson... Nope, I never killed a Robert Anderson. You got the wrong serial killer.
Aww shucks. Well, sorry about that. Thanks anyway...
Sucker...

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05
Hi, I'm from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and I'd---
No.
*slam*

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05
Umm... Excuse me...
Quiet, I'm trying to decide whether or not to use this time machine to travel back in time and kill more people in one period of time.
About that, see...
Just go away, will you?
All I'm trying to say is...
You just had to learn your lesson the hard way, didn't you...

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05
I know it's a morbid thought, but have you ever wondered how you might die? There's so many possibilities; we could die from anything at any moment.
Hmmm...
You just had to scratch my Nat King Cole cd, didn't you?
No, I'm pretty certain I know how I'm gonna go.

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05
Tuna...

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05
I want you to hit me as hard as you can!
You sure about that?
What did I just say?
Okay, I'm just saying.
Hey! Where're you going? I haven't even touched you yet!

 

by HCRoyall
6-14-05
Do you think your homicidal urges are genetic or learned behavior?
But Dad...
And You're going to keep at it until you know exactly how many ways there are to skin a cat!!
A little bit of both, actually.

Showing page 3.

« Previous Next »