All comics by JESUSSANDWICH

Profile

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
7-22-04
What you dont want to help one of our own?
Not if we have to pay for it.
Ok. Then I will pay for it.
You cheap bastards.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
7-22-04
Later.
Ok so can you find her.
Maybe but you should get that verile male ready in the meantime.
Later in the day.
Ok guys he will do it but we should get our verile male ready in case.
Ok so who is it?
Rabid Weasle!

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
7-23-04
At the kiddnappers hideout.
WHO ARE YOU??? TURN ON THIS LIGHT RIGHT NOW!
OH SHIT!
RARRR!
help me!

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
7-23-04

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
8-05-04
I just gave all of you AIDS.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
8-08-04
Wow.
Yeah you like this its one of the only games that uses...........Steve Guttenburgs voice.
You're the biggest loser ever.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
8-09-04
First there was fire
Then there was a cow or something
Then there was.............................. JESUS ATTOURNEY AT LAW.
I will work hard for you!

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
8-09-04
Objection your honor what he is saying has nothing to do with this case.
How bout this douche bag.
I DIED FOR YOUR SINS

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
8-09-04
Jesus persecutor of client at a vehicular manslaughter trial.
So as I conclude my opening statement I would like to say that
Gremlins 2 was the best movie ever.
Objection!

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
8-11-04
People always asked me why I was running
They thought it was because I had to get the toilet or maybe because I was training for some event
While in reality its because I was trying to escape Rabid_Weasle who was always trying to have anal sex with me.
Come back here!
AHHHHHHHHHH!

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
8-21-04
Yeah its been pretty hard on all of us.
Sparky the cutest dog in the world died.
Yeah in retrospect maybe I shouldnt have anally raped him 37 times.
:O
What! Its not like he was alive when I did it.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
8-26-04
Son I think we should have a dialogue about your hapless addiction to video games.
Fuck you dad!

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
9-12-04
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWY and Z
Good job you stupid bitch but this is the god damned 8th grade.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
9-12-04
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXY and Z
Good job you stupid bitch but this is the god damned 8th grade.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
9-17-04
I think haikus suck. This is not a very good strip. So uh BITE ME!

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
9-29-04
Ok children its time to pray everyone bow your heads.
No
Then your suspended.
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
10-01-04
boinky33 is the reason they cancelled Full House.
boinky33 once ate an entire bucket of brine shrimp.
boinky33 has a colon tan.
boinky33 was arrested for burning down euro-disneyland.
boinky is made of nothing but flouro-carbons
boinky33 is responsible for the death of the mastadon.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
10-04-04
The government sucks.
or abridging the freedom of speech,

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
10-04-04
Check out my new article its called the "Lies and scandals of the mayor"
or of the press,

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
10-04-04
or of the right of the people to peaceably assemble,

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
10-06-04
Mr. Mayor I would like to complain about the funding that goes into the schools these days.
and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
10-06-04
I am gonna need that gun sir.
:(
A well regulated Millitia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bare Arms shall not be infringed.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
10-06-04
Were are commendeering your house you have ten minutes to evacuate
Nooooooo!
No soldier shall, in time of peace be quatered in any house, without consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
10-07-04
Last time on: Passion For You
Boy I sure do hate phelgm.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
10-15-04
Open up Johnny McIamacriminal
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue,
I am here to search you house for any illeagal possesions.
Noooooo!
ut upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
10-15-04
You have to move out of your house
Ok are you going to pay me for it?
No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces,
No.
Nooooooooooo!
or in the militia, when in actual service in time of war or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled
in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law;
nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
10-17-04
Your under arrest.
Why?
No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces,
Because. Now get in the car.
Nooooooooooo!
or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb;
nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself,
nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
10-17-04
You are under arrest!
Why?
In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the state and district wherein the crime shall have been committed,
Because. Now get in the car.
Noooooooooooo!
which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process
for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
10-17-04
I sentence you to the chair
Wait I didnt even have a trial.
In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise reexamined
Well thats the way it goes.
Nooooooooo!
in any court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
10-17-04
Ok, so you stole a peice of gum?
Yes your honor.
Bail is set at Seventy thousand dollars.
Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
10-17-04
Jeff I have got nothing for this one.
The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
10-17-04
The White House rules all. hahahhahahhaha
I couldnt think of one for this one either.
The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
10-23-04
ATEEENTION!
Comiczdude SVkomics and Latios
I am going to give you all AIDS.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
10-29-04
You know whats the greatest thing in the world is?
What?
Turkey baster.
Oh.
Also my grandma's cunt is quite dry.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
10-29-04
Brother just kissed his mama!!!!!!11
Mother fucker!
Sodomy deleted.
Now will you shut the fuck up?

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
10-29-04
No....no....hot!!!!!111
You die!
Lots of sodomy and a performance by Chubby Checker deleted.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
11-01-04
Durr I am CHUBBY.
Look at my hair.
*fapfapfapfapfapfapfap*
http://georgewbushwithadoucheuphisass.com

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
11-02-04
I forgot the ham.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
11-17-04
HAHHAHAHAHhAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
What?
Your mother died.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
11-18-04
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Sodomy!

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
12-13-04
What did the hot dog say to the asshole?
I dont know what?
I am gonna go inside you!

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
12-15-04
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My penis.
My penis who?
My penis in your vagina.
Oh.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
12-31-04

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
1-02-05
Man it sucks that all those people in Asia are dying
From the tsunami
What tsunami?

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
1-29-05
Let see if brad changed my account yet.
No jackass

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
1-31-05
What the fuck are you doing here?

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
2-07-05
RARRRRRRRRR ARE YOU SARAH CONNER???
No.
OH.
I wish he would have cornholed me.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
2-10-05
I loved that action movie that came out this year.
I think it was called "Grover Cleveland: BACK WITH A VENGENANCE"
Oh Grover, I need you.
I will definitely stimulate your economy.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
2-10-05
Hey remember when that kid went to the bathroom.
Yeah I think so.

 

by JESUSSANDWICH
2-14-05
So, tell me about yourself.
No.

Showing page 3.

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