All comics by Kurashima

Profile

 

by Kurashima
5-24-02
IT LIVES! My machine is a success. Now i can turn everyone into Scotsmen to make them popular.
Behold people , me Newest creation. No longer is he a dyslexic Irishman who drinks too much. Now , hes an abusive Scotsman who drinks too much.
Och , whit are you babbling aboot ya sassenach muppet.
I give you .... MACZEUS!

 

by Kurashima
5-24-02
Right. Ahm aff tae reclaim my joab wi that buncha numpties at PAHQ. Get yer erse in gear MM , were going tae Ibiza.
Did ye no hear me ya daft wee boy?
I heard you , i just didnt understand a single god damned word.

 

by Kurashima
5-26-02
And now , a short advertisement from our sponsors
HI Folks. The good people here at Fifth Season would like me to ask you to buy an account for this round.
They feel that in doing so , you will benefit humanity , cure cancer , solve global warming , and save the worlds Panda population.
And remember. A Dog on a ball is not just for Christmas , its for life.

 

by Kurashima
5-26-02
Right Theamion ya wee bachle. Im gonnae rap the nut on ye and get mah joab back. FREEDOM!
That doesnt sound like Zeus to me. Theres at least 2 split infinitives in there , and im sure i heard a double negative.
Hmmm. A Pedantic Puppet or a Violent Braveheart quoting alcoholic. I think youre going to be the only winner here Spinner.

 

by Kurashima
6-01-02
Yer Gaun doon ya wee Bachle. Prepare to be gubbed
Ahhh. Not so fast Zeus. Now you must face my secret weapon.
Tatsu-Maki-Senpukku-Rai-Kenora-Dragon-Tiger-Fireball DOEGIE!
Whit the fuck was that?
My sister. She gets carried away. I only asked her to kick you in the nuts.

 

by Kurashima
6-01-02
I think ahm gonnae start by taking my foot and ramming it straight up yer arse. Then im gonnae glass ye , and cut oot yer eyeballs , and then ....
WAIT! ..Before we start , i have one request of you.
Whit?
Not in the face.
Dont hate me because im beautiful.

 

by Kurashima
6-09-02
You cannot win Zeus. I know Karate , Kung Fu , Ju Jitsu , and lots of other words you cant possibly spell ...MUAH HA HA HA HA!
*groan*
Never underestimate the power of Chib Fu

 

by Kurashima
6-09-02
And that folks is the story of how Zeus lost his job , became Scottish , beat up a Dutchman , and regained his position with increased popularity.
Even though he still wasnt getting paid.

 

by Kurashima
6-17-02
498. Four hundred and ninety fucking eight. I dont believe it.
Yeh , well , i suppose we were naive to think Killmark would play this round without bots.
What are you talking about. 498 is the total number of players who paid for an account this round.
Oh.

 

by Kurashima
6-20-02
Kura , why do you do it. I mean , its really unfair to smaller players.
You mean why do i set up a small planet , fill it with roids , build no ships , and then wait until someone attacks before bringing in 7 legion planets to defend me?
Yeh.
I guess everyone has to have a hobby.

 

by Kurashima
6-21-02
Ok Vish. Gimme a progress report on Round 8
Well , weve deleted 498 of Killmarks planets , theres no alliance domination , players cant bash planets of really small size , and everyone is quite happy.
You mean , theres no complaints , no whining , and Nod hasnt said this round is a piece of shit.
Nope. Its all quiet on the western front.
This cant be happening. Its all your fault Vish. YOURE FIRED!
Bingo.

 

by Kurashima
6-21-02
Go on. Get out. Youre the reason things are going so well. It cant be allowed to continue.
What are you talking about. If things are going well , we make money , and the game lives on.
What does making money have to do with PA?
Well , we make money , it pays for the bandwidth , and whats left we use to live off.
Im still not getting the connection.
And this is why we dont let you near the finances.

 

by Kurashima
6-21-02
Now go. And never let me see your face again.
I warn you Spinner. Dismissing me is a bad idea. I could bring this company down when i leave.
Impossible. Its not like you ever did anything here anyway.
Apart from Code the game , run the servers , fill your waterbowl.
You filled my waterbowl?
If i tell him hes been drinking my piss for 4 years , hes not going to be pleased.

 

by Kurashima
6-26-02
Spinner , help me.Im facing a crisis. Ive lost control of the boards
Calm down JJ. Now , what seems to be the problem
Its Kurashima. Hes organised a revolt on the boards. Theyre all demanding he gets modship.
Whats so wrong with that. Hes a pretty funny guy
I cant have a funny mod working for me. Remember what happened with Idler?
How can i forget. I gave birth to his child.

 

by Kurashima
6-26-02
Right , we need a plan of attack. We need to find some kind of weakness in his scheme.
Hmm , this sound like a Scooby Doo style adventure
Spinner , dont you fucking dare say it ....
Rammy Rim?

 

by Kurashima
6-26-02
Right , ive got all the information we could possibly need on him
Ok. Hes living on the Isle of Man. Its somewhere off the coast of England.
And how do we get there?
Havent got a fucking clue

 

by Kurashima
6-26-02
So JJ and Spinner board a flight to The Isle of Man , or so they think
Remind me again how we can afford a flight when Fifth Season so badly in debt?
I think we mortgaged your house
But my house is already mortgaged
Well , we did raise some other funds
Such as?
We sold Taratang for medical research

 

by Kurashima
6-26-02
Spinner and JJ Touch down on a deserted Island in the Atlantic Ocean
So , this will be the isle of man then.
Yep. Apparently , there are so few people here , that a mad scotsman stands out from the crowd
RUN! Hes coming. Oh god , hes going to kill us all.
I dont recall Kurashima being a murderous sociopath
Well , he IS Scottish.

 

by Kurashima
6-27-02
Enter TEH EVUL GENIUS!
Ahhh , some new playthings for my experiments. Welcome to My Island
Ahh , so , you must be Mr Mann then
Spinner , do you have any idea how stupid what you just said is?
Its slowly dawning on me

 

by Kurashima
6-27-02
Look Mr Man , were here looking for a deranged Scotsman thats trying to take over our boards
Deranged Scotsmen? I have one , i keep him locked in the dungeon. He scares me
That must be him. Quickly , please take us to him
Ok , if you get rid of him for me , ill let you leave the island alive.
Whats so scary about him anyway
Well , hes Ginger , and He just sits there at a computer screaming "Die Spinner Die"

 

by Kurashima
6-27-02
Spinner , i dont think this is such a good idea. I think we should go home now
Nonsense. Ive seen Kura in those pics Mer put up. Hes no threat at all
Spinner , you really need to learn the concept of a piss take.
And he was up a mountain , and wearing a kilt , and only 3ft tall , hahaha.

 

by Kurashima
7-10-02
Spinner and JJ Enter the Dungeon
Ok. Now would be a good time to break out the heavy weapons. What are you carrying?
Shotgun , Uzi , Flashbang Grenades , Bowie Knife , extra primary Ammo
SPINNER. THIS ISNT FUCKING COUNTERSTRIKE!
And ive got the bunnyhop cheat , and i can see through walls!

 

by Kurashima
7-10-02
A Creature stirs in the corner
Stand back Spinner. I think its going to pounce
Help me ..... gingerness fading ..... losing control ...
My god , its Sunday8pm. Whats happened to him. Hes lost his abusive nature
Its almost as though he was bait to Trap us here
Door Slams , Maniacal Laughter Ensues
Great. Trapped in a dungeon with Sunday8pm and Spinner. What else could go wrong
Hey! A live net connection. I wonder whats happening on the boards

 

by Kurashima
7-10-02
Meanwhile , back on the boards
Back Kura. You will not take us while we are leaderless , back , back , ARGH!
I never liked MM anyway. Welcome to the Mod Squad Kura
Thanks boys. Now , whos up for a bit of "Thread Tennis"
And how exactly do we play that?
Well , i close a thread , and then i edit the first complaint he makes
And i edit the second. Belgy the third. I think im going to like this .....

 

by Kurashima
7-10-02
Meanwhile , Back in the Dungeon
We have net access. We can put out a cry for help on the boards. Were saved.
Youre going to post as JammyJim , from Sunday8pm's IP?
Meanwhile , Back in the Dungeon
Meanwhile , Back in the Dungeon
Were Dead.
Were Dead.

 

by Kurashima
7-10-02
Back on the boards
15-40. Shit , youre good at this Belgy
Yep. Hey , looks like JJ is back. Hes asking for help
Hes trapped on an island , in a dungeon , by a Mad Scientist , and only we can help
And its fae Sunday 8pm's IP.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

by Kurashima
7-25-02
I say i say i say. What takes 5 years to build and 30 seconds to destroy.
Your credibility
Do i detect a note of sarcasm in your tone?
Of course. I mean , its not like you had credibility in the first place.
Fuck you Lokken.
Only if you wear the firemans outfit.

 

by Kurashima
7-25-02
Right. So how many people do i have to sacrifice to make this new game a success then?
Well , according to this , "A freshly harvested Foetus will bring untold wealth"
Well , we do have a lot of Newbies. I suppose technically , theyre foetuses.
"Still warm and wet and dripping with menstrual blood"
Well , that rules out everyone except Snurx
"This does not include Norweigian Spammers"

 

by Kurashima
7-28-02
Right. Ahm deletin this thread cos its offensive tae some random group youve never heard of.
*sob*
And im deletin this one cos someone said on IRC that it might be funny.
Bastard!
Hows the forums going in my Absence?
Ahve just aboot killed all the humour. Ill start on stifling debate next.

 

by Kurashima
8-01-02
Hey Kura. Man , i met this HOT chick online man. Shes so cool. And she wants me. OH how she wants me.
Game , are you certain on this man? I mean , your online track record isnt the greatest. Need i remind you about ...
No man, im telling you , this chicks legit. Shes the hottest piece of ass in PA. Im a certainty to score.
And tell me Kev , exactly what would the name of this chick be?
Sarah
He just never fucking learns.

 

by Kurashima
8-10-02
In deepest darkest somerset , in the year of our lord 1337 , there lived a man who would forever be known in the annals of history as "The Dragonslayer"
This man brought peace and prosperity to this small town by vanquishing great evils , marrying the kings daughter , and forever ruling wisely over his subjects.
Of course , being Dace , he had a few character faults ...
ALL FORUMUSERS SHOULD BE SHOT TWICE IN THE FACE , WITH BULLETS , NOT CUM!

 

by Kurashima
8-10-02
Ahhh , Mayor Kurashima. How can i assist you this fine day.
Well Sir Dace , we have a problem. The kings daughter has been taken by an evil Dragon who lives in a cave on yonder hill.
So you want me to rescue the princess , slay the dragon , and bring peace and prosperity back to the town?
Well basically , yes. Though if you can liberate the gold in the cave as well , that would be a bonus.
Ill do it. For my usual fee of course.
Alright , alright. Just make sure you mop up the floor of the barn when youre done.

 

by Kurashima
8-10-02
And so Sir Dace climbed on his trusty steed and set off to the cave of the Dragon.
It was a long and tortuous ride , but not once did his steed fail him
well , almost
This journey would be a lot quicker if hed get his dick out my ass and ride on my back.

 

by Kurashima
8-10-02
Ah HA! Now foul dragon , prepare to be slain and your reign of terror brought to and end.
Aw Fuck. Not again. I thought after i ate the last 27 dragonslayers and then shat their remains all over the mayors house he would get the message.
HA! I have no fear of a dragon , ive been through the greatest terror known to mortal man.
And what , pray tell , could be scarier than a fire breathing dragon biting you head off?
Ive seen Jenny naked.
Shit , you poor bastard.

 

by Kurashima
8-10-02
By the way , i didnt catch your name? I always like to keep the names of the Dragons i slay.
My name is Sunday8pm. Thats because its usually when i go swooping onto the townsfolk and then kill their cattle.
Have at thee Sunday8pm. For i am Dace , hero of the oppressed masses , fighter for truth , justice , and the american way.
Lets just pretend i didnt say that last bit.
Hey , far be it from me to criticise your speech , 'Superman'.

 

by Kurashima
8-10-02
The battle was short. For Dace was a mighty warrior.
DIE SCREAMING YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKER. *STAB*STAB*STAB*STAB*
*Groan*
*stab* *stab* *stab* *stab* *stab* *stab*
I think its dead now you know. You can rescue me and go home now.
**stab* *stab* *stab* *stab* *stab* *stab*
I THINK WE GOT THE FUCKING POINT DACE.

 

by Kurashima
8-10-02
Ah sweet maiden. By what name art thou known
I am the Princess Madi , and you are my rescuer , come to carry me home to my fathers arms.
Heh. Right. Youre all alone with me on a caveside miles from civilisation. I sense ill get my reward long before i get back to town.
Well , since you put it like that , lets see if we can get that armor off you.
ARGH! RIGHT IN THE NUTS!
I couldnt believe you fell for it either. Now get on the fucking horse before i give you an encore.

 

by Kurashima
8-10-02
Ah sweet maiden. By what name art thou known.
I am the Princess Madi , and you are my rescuer , come to carry me home to my fathers arms.
Heh. Right. Youre all alone with me on a caveside miles from civilisation. I sense ill get my reward long before i get back to town.
Well , since you put it like that , lets see if we can get that armor off you.
ARGH! RIGHT IN THE NUTS!
I couldnt believe you fell for it either. Now get on the fucking horse before i give you an encore.

 

by Kurashima
8-10-02
And so the couple returned to town and were married.
And everyone lived happily ever after.
Well , almost everyone.
WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE FUCKING MESS HES LEFT IN THIS BARN!

 

by Kurashima
8-17-02
Kura , its been decided. We need to take fifth season in a new direction. We want to take our lead from your comics and board posting.
Well im honoured Zeus , but what exactly does this have to do with me. I mean , youll just go ahead and do it anyway.
Well , yes , but apart from that , weve discovered that your comics contain certain wordings which make people laugh regardless of whats said.
So youre planning on putting out bad news and ending it with these words? Should i even ask which words youre thinking of?
Rammy Rim.
Thought so.

 

by Kurashima
8-30-02
Guys , ive decided to close down the game. Thanks for all your help , but i think its time to allow the game to die a natural death
Does this have anything to do with the fact that the servers all disappeared during the night , and you have a new car this morning.
NQP

 

by Kurashima
8-30-02
Spinner , i cant believe you sold the server to buy a new car. How will we host the game now?
We dont have to . I forgot to mention that i sold the Game , and all affiliated names and likenesses.
Who in their right minds would pay us anything for the rights to the game?
Well .......
Nodrog inspects his new offices
OMG OMG OMG. Im taking us back to round 2 baby , yeh!

 

by Kurashima
8-30-02
Right , first thing i need to do is appoint key people to key positions. Ill have W do the coding , Don Aman the PR , and Jenny the graphics.
My first post will be "Welcome to Planetarion. Now fuck off , you cocks!"
Next , i need a user base of players who will pay through the nose and not whine when i change the game code.
We still have the Round 1 TPE member list
Perfect. Im sure theres something ive forgotten though .....
The fact youll quit after a week?

 

by Kurashima
8-30-02
Not everyone appears happy with this new arrangement
Right. Time to take back PA by force.
Ah dont get it. Why dae ye want tae take back the gemme?
Im Sunday8pm. Board Rebel and all around ..... Rebel Type Person. I need no reason.
Is this something to do with the fact youve got nothing to whine about anymore?
NO! IM ON A CRUSADE. MY CAUSE IS RIGHTEOUS!
Youre on something alright .....

 

by Kurashima
8-30-02
Nod assembles his armies
Ladies and Gents. Sunday8pm has assembled a spammer army. We must defeat it to preserve the existence of Planetarion.
And because i said so , and im never wrong.
If i mention Tarantulas , im not getting any tonight

 

by Kurashima
8-30-02
Sunday8pm Addresses his troops
We will spam them on the beaches , we will troll them on the forums.
We will bite them on the features , And fill their servers with gay porn
But dont we hate all things homosexual?
No TDO , just Yahwe.
Thats alright then.

 

by Kurashima
8-30-02
Nodrog and Don Aman
...........There can Be only one!...........
Sunday8pm and TDO

 

by Kurashima
8-31-02
Okay , you win.
Ill pay for dinner.
And i concede that, yes , the burritos in here give you explosive diarrhoea.

 

by Kurashima
9-02-02
So Perm , youre actually going to Enter Obijo's contest? How do you plan on getting him to like your stuff?
Well , Obijo thinks along very Crabby-like lines of thought , so i figured i could appeal to his crazy nature.
How so?
Well , im going to do my lifestory , but through the form of a film , with a famous actor portraying me
How does this fit in?
I figure ill score a few extra points if i can persuade Hernandez to come out of retirement and play me.

 

by Kurashima
9-02-02
So , Hernandez. Obijo has cast you aside now, and moved onto pastures new. But i want you in my Strips.
But Mister Perm , Obijo treated me well. I mean , he fought wars for me. He sweated blood over my strips.
Youre a major star , and i think you should be treated like one.
I must refuse your generous offer. There must be someone better suited to playing the Perm.
I contemplated using Dil from the submitted characters.
Oh alright , i take pity on your inability to cast actors , and i will do the job.

Showing page 3.

« Previous Next »