All comics by Ogyaf

Profile

 

by Ogyaf
8-31-08
Yeah, Swerve, my new job here is going great.
Good. Oh, here comes your boss. You better look like you're working.
Word, dawg. Fo'shizzle, know wha' I'm sayin', G? Mad flava up in herr, playa!
Solid work, brah. Yo, check it. You gettin' a raise.

 

by Ogyaf
9-03-08
Sure, I'll offer you a ride.
I'm totally going to brutally murder this hitchhiker...

 

by Ogyaf
9-03-08
Okay, it's your turn to play with Daddy.
You did WHAT to your own sons?!

 

by Ogyaf
9-05-08
Hey, Oggy. I got something really important to say,
Oh, yeah? What?
Never gonna give you up! Never gonna let you down! Never gonna run around and desert you!
You just got StripRoll'D!

 

by Ogyaf
9-13-08
What's with the hammer?
We're under new celebrity ownership, so I gotta change the sign outside. You know how celebrities like to attach their names to everything.
Who's the celebrity?
Well he's actually also working here as store manager. I'll go get him so you can meet him.
Dolemite is my name, and serving french fries to mothafuckas is my game!

 

by Ogyaf
9-15-08
You're twenty-five years old, you work at a burger joint, and you live in a trashcan in the slums.
Yep.
Why do you think your life turned out this way?
I wish I knew...
They bring up a good point. Why ARE we smiting him?
He once ate at Denny's and DIDN'T order something off of the breakfast menu!

 

by Ogyaf
9-15-08
.....I didn't do it.

 

by Ogyaf
9-23-08
Oggy watches one of his favorite movies
Hello Clarice...
Oggy watches one of his favorite TV shows
Hello Claire...
I love the originality you can only see on television.

 

by Ogyaf
11-18-08
"My name's Ogyaf & I love Tech N9ne! I wanna marry him! No, I really wanna marry Batman! He's so sexy! Batman & Tech N9ne, my perfect dream!"
What the fuck is wrong with you, Scooter?!
I'm drunk again.

 

by Ogyaf
1-31-09
Okay, BMJ, here's your ord-WHOOPS!
Damn it, you spilled my food!
I'm sorry, man. It was an accident.
Aw, you got ketchup all over me!
That's what she said!!!

 

by Ogyaf
2-28-09
Oggy likes to set mice free outside with little harm done to them after catching them in a trap...
Run along now. Shoo!
...Dorian likes to torture mice for information after catching them in a trap
NOW TELL ME WHO YOU'RE WORKING FOR!!!

 

by Ogyaf
3-08-09
Well, what I'd REALLY like is a Filet mignon.
I could give you a Filet-O-Fish. That's pretty close, right?

 

by Ogyaf
5-31-09
DOWNLOADING...
Hey, OdK!
Hey, SD! .......Um, so SETUP DISK, what are you doing anyway?
...DOWNLOADING COMPLETE...
I'm downloading a freeware file. My robot friends tell me it's all the rage.
Oh, yeah? What's the file called?
...INSTALLING
It's by the software company, Cyberdyne Systems. I think it's called Skynet.
Hm, sounds familir. Well, I can't foresee anything bad coming from this.

 

by Ogyaf
5-31-09
Come with me if you want to live!
.....................um, okay.
Who are you, again?
I'm BMJ from the future! I've been sent back in time just for you! One day, you will rule the NATION rebellion against machines.
So, you sent an old man to save me?

 

by Ogyaf
5-31-09
Save you? No, I was sent back to become your father, so you will exist! Now, where is your mother so I can impregnate her?
I already exist, I'm 26 years old! And how long did the future NATION know I was going to be the savior anyway?
Hmmm.... Since 2018.
In 2018, you would have been like 30 years old. Why did they send you back now? You must be like 80!
...yeah, we kinda put it off for a while. Our bad, really.
Can somebody of your age even impregnate a woman, anyway?

 

by Ogyaf
5-31-09
Hey, Old BMJ. Would you mind getting out of the way, so I can -- you know -- kill Ogyaf?
NEVER!
Fuck this!
Ogyaf: Oh, you destroyed Earth! Way to go, SETUP DISK! I am very disappointed in you!

 

by Ogyaf
6-10-09
Swerve, I appreciate you visiting me at work, but you either have to order something or get out of line.
You got yourself a Crocadile Done-Deal!
I fuckin' hate you.

 

by Ogyaf
6-29-09
I don't say he's a great man. Willie Loman never made a lot of money. His name was never in the paper. He's not the finest character that ever lived.
But he's a human being, and a terrible thing is happening to him. So attention must be paid. He's not to be allowed to fall in his grave like an old dog.
Tonight: Death of a Salesman
I had no idea Billy Mays' real name was Willie Loman. Man, this was the weirdest funeral I've ever been to.
Seventh weirdest, for me.

 

by Ogyaf
9-26-09
Did you ever notice how people always buy big-ass dogs like pitbulls or rottweilers...
...and then yell at it when the dog viciously barks at anybody and anything...
...that makes even the slightest movement in front of their house...
...as if that kind of behavior isn't expected from that breed of dog?
Oh, there's no punchline to this comic. I just fuckin' hate my neighbor's dog!

 

by Ogyaf
9-27-09

 

by Ogyaf
9-27-09
...That what she said.

 

by Ogyaf
11-05-09
Holy shit! That squirrel is almost as tall as my kitchen table!

 

by Ogyaf
2-24-10
Whoa, man, "Lethal" and "Legal" sound so much alike, but they are in fact usually complete opposites. My mind is blown!
You're a fuckin' moron.

 

by Ogyaf
3-01-10
ARE YOU READY?! NO, I SAID... ARE... YOU... READY?!
No. Give me a moment please.
15 minutes later
OK, I'm ready!

 

by Ogyaf
4-08-10
Oggy like to watch scary movies.
Don't go in there!
Dorian likes to watch "movies" that Oggy finds scary.
Don't go in "there"!

 

by Ogyaf
3-25-13
So I said "That's not Cthulhu; that's my wife!
              ~BREAKING NEWS~
    This just in:     After three years of being locked out of the e-mail attached to his StripCreator account, Ogyaf has rediscoverd his password.
We now take you back to your regularly scheduled comic strip already in progress...
Honey, I want a divorce.

 

by Ogyaf
3-26-13
Oggy likes to make new friends...
Pleased to meet you, I'm Oggy!
...Dorian likes to make new friends
IT'S ALIVE! IN THE NAME OF GOD, NOW I KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE GOD!

 

by Ogyaf
3-28-13
Hey... Hey... Hey... Hey... Hey... Hey... Hey... Hey... Hey... Hey... Hey... Hey... Hey... Hey... Hey...
WHAT?!
If you turn someone into a vampire, but then they are healed, but then you turn them into a vampire again... Did you just revamp them?!

 

by Ogyaf
6-02-13
Okay, so that makes your total twelve dollars and sixty-nine cents.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!
...twelve.

 

by Ogyaf
8-04-13
So what are you going to do now that Pimpburger is closing down for renovations for three months?
Oh, don't worry about me; I've got some BIG plans!

 

by Ogyaf
12-13-13
TONIGHT YOU'LL DINE IN HELL!
Eh, I don't really feel like dining out tonight. Can I get take-out instead?
...TONIGHT YOU'LL GET TAKE-OUT IN HELL!
WELCOME TO HELL, CAN I TAKE YOUR ORDER?

 

Alternative punchline by SamVanDam
You don't have the McRib? This really IS Hell!
by Ogyaf, 12-13-13

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