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The damned stand ready.

 

Spirit Guide Foreshadowing 2 by Pikachu_Fragger 5-20-03
Meanwhile... What was that explosion, Dexter? It sounded like it came from Alfonz's position!	We should go and find them then! Unngh...	I feel faint again... something's wrong! Liz?

 

The Call of Cthulhu by Pikachu_Fragger 5-20-03
Liz: Mark, be careful! I sense something from that door! Poof! What the hell!?!?!?	I am the great Cthulhu! I will eat your entrails and drink from your brain! Chitulu?	Cthulhu. Ah, Chipotople!

 

Evilly Complicated Names by Pikachu_Fragger 5-20-03
It's Cthulhu! Seetule?	Goddammit, Mark! It's supposed to be pronounced as C-Thul-hu! Hey, how did you know my name, CThululu?	Aww, fuck it, you shit bag! I'm going to kill you and your friends, and I'm going to start with you! Wait... it's CThuloohy, isn't it! Am I right?

 

This is what the world looks like when you meet monsters. by Pikachu_Fragger 5-20-03
Rarrgh! Bring it on, Chihuly, or however the hell you pronounce your name! We're going to defeat you!	First it's snipers, then it's weird tentacle creatures. What is this world coming to? It's my world, Liz. of course it's weird. We better get ready for battle.	*insert whooshing sound here* Battle? Yup! Role-Playing-Game Style!

 

Dexter attacks! by Pikachu_Fragger 5-20-03
Cthulhu appeared! You mean we're supposed to fight this thing?	Dex attacked Cthulhu with Ragnarok Blade! Deals 2000 damage! Yup.	Don't worry. You'll get your turn to fight him. Oohh no, dear. I am not going to slap that thing with my staff.

 

Mark's Overdrive by Pikachu_Fragger 5-20-03
My turn! Gogogo!	Mark activates Masamune's Overdrive! Uses Sonic Blade attack! Eat shit, Judabakar!	Mark deals 9999 damage to Chtulhu! Yeah! Like I said. Showoff.

 

Cthulhu Attacks! And misses Liz... by Pikachu_Fragger 5-20-03
I guess it's my turn then... Um, actually...	Cthulhu attacks party with Tentacle Beat! *slap* Everyone: OW!	Hits Dexter! Deals 5000 damage! Hits Mark! Deals 6000 damage! Misses Liz! Um, guys? Oww...

 

Angel of Whoop-Ass by Pikachu_Fragger 5-20-03
Hah! You're still alive? *sigh* Fine. I guess I'm going to be the one to defeat him...	What are you doing? I'm summoning, silly.	Liz summons Angel of Mercy! What the hell!? I be an ass-kicking angel!

 

Potty-Mouth Angel by Pikachu_Fragger 5-20-03
Angel or not, I will destroy you as well! Ahhh well. I'll just have to kick your ass before you can do so then.	Angel of Mercy uses Ultima Rage! Casts Ultima 10 times! Ahhhhhhh! Have at you, you monster! Your ass is mine!	Deals 9999 damage to Cthulhu! Deals 9999 damage to Cthulhu! Deals 9999 damage to Cthulhu... Now that's gotta hurt. *casts cure on himself* Your angel sure says "ass" a lot, doesn't he?

 

All Summoners keep their summons in Pokeballs. by Pikachu_Fragger 5-21-03
Cthulhu fell. Party gained 9000 Experience Points! Owww. I told you I would kick your ass.	*insert Pokeball sounds* Thank you for your help, Angel of Mercy. You can rest now.	What? I hear pokeballs. So THAT'S where you keep that thing!

 

Introduction of Rudi and Melody by Pikachu_Fragger 5-21-03
Meanwhile, in the ourskirts of Basra...	... two powerful beings make their appearances...	... and there goes the neighborhood. Are you sure, we're at the right place, Melody? I'm pretty sure, Rudi. Besides, I used Mapquest.

 

Recapping by Pikachu_Fragger 5-21-03
Remind me... why are we here again? To look for Liz. She ran off with Dexter or something to this place.	To look for what again? Some kind of red robot that wants to make friends with people and who is actually a weapon of mass brain destruction. And to burn it.	I can't believe they would burn it without us. Well, Dexter and Liz don't really know that we're here either.

 

The Return of Billy by Pikachu_Fragger 5-21-03
Hey Rudi! This rubble is moving!	What in goth's name!?	Fuck yeah! I'm free, bitches! Oh great. A strange hip-hop kid in Iraq. Perhaps he knows where Liz is.

 

Mistaken Creepy Asian Kid Identity by Pikachu_Fragger 5-21-03
Hello there. Do you know Liz?		HOLY CRAP! IT'S THE CREEPY ASIAN KID! What the hell? I'm nowhere near Asia, you dolt!

 

Recap: The Creepy Asian Kids by Pikachu_Fragger 5-24-03
How rude of that kid! I can't believe he called me a Creepy Asian kid! I'm from Guatemala, not China! That sucks! What did you do to him?	I pretty much burned his ass on a huge George Forman grill. Good one. I wonder why he thought you were Asian though...	Meanwhile, in Karl's old comic... Achoo! I think someone's talking about me, Felicia! Bless you, Shawna.

 

Now for something completely different: Math Shenanigans by Pikachu_Fragger 5-24-03
I WANT TO BE... A MATH TREE... Hahahahaha!	I wanna talk about e, I wanna talk about pi... Dexter!!! What are you doing here in Calculus class?!?!?	I'm telling you, Mister Calera. Your limit and ln look like a Math Whale. ... And you're telling me this WHY?

 

Melody = t3h sadist by Pikachu_Fragger 5-24-03
Still though Melody, we need to find Liz and Dex.	You're right. I guess he's had enough punishment for one day. Yes. Besides, he may be useful. You don't see that many hip-hop people in Iraq. Maybe he's with Liz.	AHHH! IT BURNS! Ahh, yes. If only I could do this with all of them.

 

Finally, after much burnage... by Pikachu_Fragger 5-24-03
I didn't mean to call you creepy and all that. You just look like the original Creepy Asian kids. Oh well. Mistaken identity is forgivable, I guess. In any case, do you know Elizabeth and Dexter?	Oh, those two? They went into that lab over there with Mark. I can lead you two there. Thank you. Please lead away.	You guys better be careful around here, though. I'm still not sure if I was able to destroy Metal Gear GAY. O_o Metal Gear What?

 

Alfonz and Mel by Pikachu_Fragger 5-24-03
Billy! Where are you!? Billy! You wigger! Show yourself!	*sigh*... no sign of him. You're worried about him, aren't you...	Kind of. AND STOP LOOKING AT MY BOOBS, DAMMIT! Damn. How could you tell?

 

Fixed Vision by Pikachu_Fragger 5-24-03
	AND STOP STARING AT MY ASS! I COULD TELL, YOU KNOW! Crap.	This is partly the reason why I can't stand being around you! Hey lady, it's not my fault my mask's eyes look down at all the good stuff.

 

Public Service Announcement 1 by Pikachu_Fragger 6-03-03
Inside the gray room where the Author works his magic... Hey Dexter, I have to complain about something. Remember episode 113, "Recap: The Creepy Asian Kids"? Yes. What about it?	Melody: You said I was from Guatemala. I'm not from there. How rude of that kid! I can't believe he called me a Creepy Asian kid! I'm from Guatemala, not China! That sucks! What did you do to him?	I'm part Puerto Rican and NICARAGUAN. What the hell is that about? Well... um... they do... rhyme... so it is possible I got them... mixed. Up. Eeep.

 

Public Service Announcement 2 by Pikachu_Fragger 6-03-03
We here at this comic would like to aplolgize for the mix-up. Melody is from Nicaragua, not Guatemala. I would also like to apologize for possibly putting up bad stereotypes, in this case, creepy asian kids.	I would also like to apologize to Melissa for putting her with Alfonz. There isn't much else I can do anymore at this point, so you'll have to just forgive me on this one. And last but not least, I would like to apologize for making this dumbass comic. It doesn't even have an official name yet. We're going to work on that.	Um, dear, why are you holding that huge ball of energy in your hand which is conveniently covered by your profile? Don't worry, I'm just being random. That and I've always wanted to smack you senseless every now and then for all the stupid stuff you've come up here in this comic.

 

Now for something completely different: Backstage Passes 6 by Pikachu_Fragger 6-03-03
Dexter: (Off in the distance) Aheeheehee! Stop! Stop! Ack! Heeheehee! Since Dexter is being punished for his stupid deeds, we have to make up a name for this comic. Any suggestions? How about "The Legend of the Math Tree"?	Dexter: *wheeze* Stop! Stop! Hahahahaha! That doesn't really fit. We're looking for Smarterchild in Iraq. Anything else? One thing still bothers me though. Dexter doesn't sound like he's suffering for one who's being punished.	Kate: Oh, that. Let's just say Liz has the honor of punishing him. Stop! Hee! Stop poking my ribs! But it's just so much fun tickling you!

 

Now for something completely different: Backstage Passes 7 by Pikachu_Fragger 6-03-03
And the naming continues... Extreme Smarterchild Hunting! How about "Dot.Smack"?	The Awesome Adventures of Insanity Incorporated? The Legend of the Math Tree?	We've already tried that, Gino. And what is all that you've got in your arms? C4. Some guy in a tribal mask tried to steal it from me.

 

Idiot Logic by Pikachu_Fragger 6-04-03
Since I'm the Author, I get to make the name for this comic. I shall call it... THE WANG P33N! That's a stupid title, Dexter! It sounds like a spawn of Idiot Logic!	Wait... what did you just say? IDIOT LOGIC, DEXTER! THAT'S WHAT YOU HAVE RIGHT NOW!	I like Idiot Logic. Liz makes good names. Perhaps she can rename Billy to Dumbass. Idiot Logic works.

 

Dirty Clothes by Pikachu_Fragger 6-04-03
In the last episode of Idiot Logic... I'm going to sleep in my own tent, Alfonz. At least I won't feel like I'm being watched there. Okay. I'm hungry anyway. I'm going to find myself some sheep to devour.	Meanwhile... This is where Metal Gear GAY was destroyed. By yours truly, Mister Badass Billy. ... sure. Whatever you say. By the way, your shirt is all dirty.	So that's why I've been looking all grey all this time! You've been buried under rubble. You might as well have been DEAD all this time!

 

Major Dry Cleaning by Pikachu_Fragger 6-04-03
Watch this! I'm going to do some major dry cleaning! If you're going to get naked, then no, I won't watch.	WHEEEE!!! *cough wheeze* HEY! WATCH IT!	This kid is starting to annoy me. Can I burn him again? No, Melo. It's my turn.

 

Rudi's P0w4r by Pikachu_Fragger 6-04-03
Ah! I feel clean again! Good for you. But, you need to dry off.	What Billy doesn't know... But I don't need to get- Oops! Too late!	... is that Rudi can change people into random stuff. What the hell!? I feel all squiggly! Sorry. My power slipped.

 

Comic authors like to keep a low profile. by Pikachu_Fragger 6-05-03
Meanwhile... Hmmm... I sense something... What is it? You don't seem to have nausea...	Actually, it's someone! Two people! And I know who they are! That's why I'm not feeling nauseated! Wow! I wonder who they are?	You should know by now! You're the author, for crying out loud! You put them here in the first place! ... I know... but I didn't want to look too onmiscient... Besides, I like to keep my low profile.

 

Searching for the Others by Pikachu_Fragger 6-05-03
Let's go find Alfonz and the others! Yes, we should. We haven't found anything useful here, anyway.	What's wrong? Something's not right. Someone obviously sent that crazed sniper guy to stop us, as well as Cthulhu. Someone doesn't want us to find anything.	Are you sure it's not because you know what's going to happen because you're the author? Like I said, dear, low profile.

 

In Search of the Others, 2 by Pikachu_Fragger 6-06-03
Okay, lets' go! I wanna see who that presence I just felt was...	And so, our heroes go off in search of Alfonz and the others... off in the distance, of course. Mark: Damn, Pika, you're too lazy to put us all in here, aren't you? Dexter: ...	Meanwhile, hilarity ensues. Here, kitty kitty kitty! Let me come and EAT you kitty kitty kitty! Mrowwwr! *hiss*

 

Useless Blobness by Pikachu_Fragger 6-13-03
What the heck is all this! Can't you change me back? I can't. We have to wait for about half an hour.	What am I supposed to do until then? Just wait a bit. Or something. Or do something useful.	I have no idea how useful a blue blob that looks like a drop of water is. You're the blob. I'm not. YOU figure it out.

 

The Blob Schemes! by Pikachu_Fragger 6-13-03
Uh-oh! I see someone coming this way! It looks like an Iraqi soldier! Oh great. Now what do we do?	I see people in the distance! They look like the people who blew up GAY!	Wait! I'm a blob of water! I have a plan. Go and hide. I will deal with the soldier. Let's just have Melody burn the little p33nhead.

 

Now for something completely different: Backstage Passes 8 by Pikachu_Fragger 6-13-03
Dexter, that was sooo wrong! What did I do this time?	Rudi: This dialogue! From your last comic! I see people in the distance! They look like the people who blew up GAY!	How could you use those two words in the same sentence like that!? ... what are you guys, the Censorship Committee or something?

 

Sneaky Puddle Tricks by Pikachu_Fragger 6-20-03
Hmmm... they ran that away! I hope this works...	What the!?	Booyah! That's what happens when you slip into a puddle! Ohhhhh...

 

Back to Normal by Pikachu_Fragger 6-23-03
Huh? What's happening? I think the spell is wearing off. You should turn back to normal right about now...	Booyah! I'm back! That's good. Now, um... where were Liz and Dexter again?	Oh, them? They went thataway. Just follow me!

 

Back To the Freezehole by Pikachu_Fragger 6-23-03
Meanwhile... All clear! The guardian has been defeated! Thanks. Now we can go farther into the fridge!	Aww, the hell with this! I'm quitting! The Iraqui Information Minister can find his own lackey to keep watch on this freezehole! Actually, if you're going to quit... maybe you can join us? What's your name, anyway?	The name's Ahmed. I'm sorry if I tried to be in your way; I was just doing my job. Flowers? Thanks, but... no. You're welcome to join us though.

 

Now for something completely different 6 by Pikachu_Fragger 7-08-03
One night, at Karaoke Night at Mark's... Fly me to the moon, and make me wish upon the stars...	GONG! What the hell? Where am I!?	Karaoke Night at Mark's: The Gong Show Edition Melo, just because someone sings badly doesn't mean you send them to the moon. That's what the gong was for, right? Besides, he was asking for it.

 

Now for something completely different 7 by Pikachu_Fragger 7-16-03
Okay, Dexter, take this box and shelve the contents onto the last aisle. Got it.	Hey, wait, you're not supposed to just toss that on top! HEY! LOOK OUT!	In the infirmary... Dex: *in bed* And that's the last thing I remember... and then I heard the crash... Normally I would call you pobrecito. In this case, however, I will make an exception and call you an idiot.

 

Now for something completely different 8 by Pikachu_Fragger 7-19-03
Hello there, kitty! *pets* Meow!	Gah! Ow! Hey! That's my nose hair!	Good kitty! You've been trained well, Scooter! Ow... I think she just stuffed cat fur under my eyelids...

 

I prefer Public Storage Inc. myself... by Pikachu_Fragger 7-19-03
Is that a map you have there? Yes. I've only been working here a week, so I'm still figuring out my way around here.	Let me guess...	... You store the mass-destruction weapons here? How do you think Bush hasn't found these babies yet?

 

NFSCD: Swimming in the Fall 1 by Pikachu_Fragger 10-15-03
It's been a while since youve actually made something on this comic. Maybe you should continue with the story? We could... I have been dying to try and finish the story. If I could remember what it was we were really doing.	Well, if you can't remember, then you need to do something that will jog your creative juices. Depending on how creative those juices really are. Some people do that to get out of writer's block. I know just the place to do it! Let's all go...	TO THE BEACH! ... *twitches* you do realize I don't have a swimsuit like this, right!? That's okay. I don't have swimming trunks either.

 

NFSCD: Swimming in the Fall 2 by Pikachu_Fragger 10-15-03
Just so you know, the acronym NFSCD stands for "Now for something completely different", meaning the plot has once again gone off into a really bad tangent. Now, on with the show! I did not need to hear that, by the way. The NFSCD acronym explanation?	>_< NO YOU IDIOT! I MEANT YOU NOT HAVING ANY SWIMMING TRUNKS! It still sounded wrong... *cries* WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH YOU!?!? Oh, that. I only meant that this is my only sprite, so I have to go swimming in this getup. And it doesn't matter what you want to do with me, as long as I'm with you.	... Shut up. NOW. ... Yes'm.

 

NFSCD: Swimming in the Fall 3 by Pikachu_Fragger 10-15-03
And of course, Melody and Rudi have to go with us to the beach... w00t w00t! Shake yer tailfeather...	Hey, Liz! Looking good! Thanks... but this swimsuit wasn't my idea.	COCHINO! Shush or I won't cook your fake veggie burgers, Melody.

 

NFSCD: Swimming in the Fall 4 by Pikachu_Fragger 11-16-03
But of course, there are other significant others involved... Hello. Is Melody here? Yeah, she's just around there, trying to get fake burgers from Dexter.	Hey, sweetie. NAVIEEEEE!!!	*insert sickeningly cute noises here* How disgusting. How can two people be so mushy like that? [sarcasm] I wouldn't know. Not like I'm stuck in the same situation like that. [/sarcasm]

 

NFSCD: Swimming in the Fall 5 by Pikachu_Fragger 11-16-03
Hello. You must be the reason for this mess. Indeed. I know that Melody has brought you here. What powers do you have, and what's up with the kilt?	I guess my powers work like the Calculator from Final Fantasy Tactics. And I think the kilt comes with the job. Ah, that's interesting. I know for a fact that calculating complex targeting algorithims like that require a lot of skill. How do you do it?	Beer. And lots of it. And there's more in the truck. You're all right, Nav.

 

NFSCD: Swimming in the Fall 6 by Pikachu_Fragger 1-14-04
Damn, we're out of vodka. We need it for some sex on the beach. I think Melody has some though. Melody has vodka? Where did she... oh well. Let me go ahead and ask her.	Melody, do you have some vodka? Nav and I are gonna have some sex on the beach. Yes, I have some vodk - WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!?!?!	You're welcome to join us if you like. WHAT!?!? YOU ARE NOT TOUCHING MY NAVEEN, YOU - did you say I can join in?

 

NFSCD: Swimming in the Fall 7 by Pikachu_Fragger 1-14-04
OMG OMG OMG OMG LIZ! YOU WON'T BELEIVE IT! Believe what?	DEXTER ASKED ME FOR VODKA SO THAT HE AND NAVE COULD HAVE SEX ON THE BEACH! WHAT? Wait... vodka, you say?	Your boyfriend is with my boyfriend and all you can think about is booze? I think that's what they had in mind, actually.

 

Nucleus Interruptus by Pikachu_Fragger 3-12-05
It's been a while since I updated this, especially considering that a lot of shit has happened between the last two updates. And unfortunately, the original storyline will be scrapped. All the characters died in a nuclear explosion during the search in Iraq.	As for me, I'm the author, so I get to live. Besides, I shot the nukes in the first place. Sucks to be you, bitches.	And in honor of that momentus occasion, I took a nice little picture of it. Ain't life a bitch, you fuckers?

 

Reviving, part 1 by Pikachu_Fragger 3-13-05
Meanwhile, in the dreamscape of Dexter's comic... Let's see... too many budget cuts, so I can't bring everyone back. I have to choose wisely.	Therefore I revive... Kate! Mel! Oh shit. Here we go again. *sigh*	Mark! Jim! What the fuck? That is all.

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