All comics by Tigerchild

Profile

 

by Tigerchild
3-11-03
why does it hurt to see your friends in pain?
why is it not allowed for me to be friends with a boy?
why is the world so unfair?

 

by Tigerchild
3-11-03
there's a band playing
on the radio
and it's drowning the sound of my tears

 

by Tigerchild
3-11-03
were you dumped? is that it?
no I was NOT dumped! To be "dumped" you have actually be "dating" someone
so what is it?
Nothing! OK? Nothing! I just feel like being sad!
but it's something to do with a bloke, right?
*sad sigh* yes

 

by Tigerchild
3-11-03
so, it's to do with a bloke and it happened over the weekend?
partly right
tell me about it
ok, see I was like this....
Later...
oh my god, no wonder you're unhappy
so now you know, no leave me alone to wallow in my unhappiness

 

by Tigerchild
3-12-03
so no-one told you life was gonna be this way
your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A
it's like your always stuck in second gear, when it hasn't been your day, your week, your month or even your year
but I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour
I'll be there for you, like I've been there before
I'll be there for you, 'cos you're there for me too

 

by Tigerchild
3-13-03
Happiness! happiness! the greatest gift that I posess!
she's happy now?
s'pose so
you don't seem too pleased
ok, you stand around for 8 hours listening to her sing that song, then we'll see how pleased YOU are that she's happy

 

by Tigerchild
3-18-03
you look like shit... is that in style now?
shut up, i had a rough night last night
what happened TC? someone steal your sleeping mask?
nah, my bro's transvestite friends turned up
were they mad at him?
mad, drunk and deadly with drag

 

by Tigerchild
3-18-03
I'm telling you, it's just not possible!
Ok, listen, your argument is that any object moving at the speed of light will have an infinite mass, right?
Right, and if any object has an infinite mass, it is imnpossible for it to accelerate!
but light is made up of photons, photons have mass and THEY move at the speed of light
photons have mass? I didn't know they were Catholic!

 

by Tigerchild
3-20-03
Whistle while you work, Bush, he is a burke
he's half barmy, so's his army
whistle while you work

 

by Tigerchild
3-20-03
Je ne pas Monsieur Blair, TC, c'est la Premier ministre affreux
je suis d'accord avec tu Sw1tch
fair tu avoir le sentiment quelqu'un regadais nous?
oui
do you mind?
private conversation going on here

 

by Tigerchild
3-21-03
"In a dream I walked in the garden of my grandfather, as I had in my child hood, when suddenly...
I am the angel of death
but I'm not ready to die!
well... if you do not wish death, how about a rubber chicken?
a rubber chicken? I shall have to consult a comedien, ah, good here comes one now...
meanwhile, off stage...
TC, there is NO WAY that I am putting on that false moustache.
you want the sketch to fall flat on its face? Fine

 

by Tigerchild
3-21-03
my sweet little pet Izzy, at least YOU care about my problems
mew!
YOU know how much it upsets me when my friends are unhappy
purr...purr
So, you'll understand why I'm going to go out and get really, REALLY drunk tonight
oh dear god, she's depressed again

 

by Tigerchild
3-23-03
...the power of Christ condems you!
what the fuck are you watching?
the exocist
oh, that's a pretty good film
what film? this is a live broadcast.

 

by Tigerchild
3-23-03
knew it was a bad idea to wear this shirt

 

by Tigerchild
3-23-03
who are you?
THE DEVIL, SINNER
what're you going to do to me?
I AM GOING TO TURN YOU INTO THE ONE THING YOU HATE THE MOST
You're going to turn me into a side order of potato salad!?
I DON'T THINK YOU'VE ACTUALLY GRASPED THE SITUATION

 

by Tigerchild
3-25-03
y'know, it's been really quiet around here lately
yeah, REALLY quiet, no whining, no sobbing
it's almost like something irritating was taken away
but what...?
TOM!
TOM!

 

by Tigerchild
3-25-03
PLEASE don't turn me into a side order of potato salad! I HATE mayo and... and besides, I'm allergic to potatos!
Meanwhile, back in reality...
Sw1tch, I found him! Call an ambulance!
Well, what did the doctor say?
That I should throw away that sandwich he found behind the radiator

 

by Tigerchild
3-27-03
well, I have to say, you're looking a lot better, Tom
thanks
but what is it about a three month old sandwich that's so appealing?
...the lure of the forbidden...
seriously?
yeah, there's something really tempting about old fermenting salad cream

 

by Tigerchild
3-28-03
Hi, this is Sw1tch again
many may now believe that I sell test tubes and the such other stuff used in labs, this is no longer true, I now have a new buisness
Sw1tch's Lawn Service: You Grow 'em We Mow 'em

 

by Tigerchild
3-28-03
Dude! Where the Hell do you keep finding those sandwiches?

 

by Tigerchild
3-28-03
did you hear about the shepard whose dog died?
no
he said "Oh dear. oh dear, oh dear"
that's it?
you can't expect him to say anything funny, his dog's just died!

 

by Tigerchild
4-05-03
so... explain to me WHY she sent us here
it's simple...
She says that all men are evil and should burn in Hell for all eternity
it's that time of the month again, right?
right

 

by Tigerchild
4-09-03
I love the aquarium, it's so nice and calm

 

by Tigerchild
4-10-03
Readers of 'stripcreator' lend me your hands!
Shouldn't that be 'lend me your ears', Izzy?
no
I want them to open tins of tuna for me

 

by Tigerchild
4-14-03
Oh Lord, why hast thou forsaken me?
ummm, Sw1tch, that's not God
Silence blasphemus one!
No really, that's a pancake Tom threw at the wall
You realise we could get sued for that joke
meh, he doesn't know where I live

 

by Tigerchild
4-22-03
Today, we have a special treat for you!
we do?
Yes, we do. Since it was easter week last week, Tom has bravely volunteered to wander the desert for 40 days to raise money for charity
No I haven't!
Oh, come on Tom, it's for the children! Please, think of the children!

 

by Tigerchild
4-22-03
No! No way in Hell! NOT going to happen!
But Tom, it's for the children!
But the desert? Isn't there another option?
Yes , yes there is...
a few minutes later...
What time does my plane leave?

 

by Tigerchild
4-23-03
Day 1
Have found a cave to sleep in for the night.
Tomorrow I start wandering
Why do I let her talk me into these things?

 

by Tigerchild
4-24-03
Day 20
I've been wandering for days
I'm tired I'm hungry, I'm filthy
and I'm pretty sure that that's not a good sign

 

by Tigerchild
4-30-03
Day 39
I'm so hungry...
I'm so thirsty...
I'm so going to extract revenge on TC for this...

 

by Tigerchild
5-02-03
So, how much did I raise?
Forty two pounds and fifty three pence
Really?
Yep, I think you can be proud of that, considering that we have no real income
You mean I wandered through that desert, dilerious with thirst and hunger for NOTHING?
Not for nothing, the readers enjoyed it

 

by Tigerchild
5-08-03
OK, so eurkyotic cell is...

 

by Tigerchild
5-08-03
OK, so eurkyotic means...
something that has membrane bound organells, i.e animal, plant and fungi cells
sorry peeps, I'm revising, I'll try and be funny later

 

by Tigerchild
5-30-03
oh God!
TC, I didn't think my cooking was that bad
Well, no the slums of Calcutta are bad, you're cooking is fucking awful!
I though you liked the lamb I cooked
Tom, lamb, proper lamb, when it's actually cooked to perfection should go 'Baa!' when you set it down on the table!
so, I should put it back in the field where I found it?

 

by Tigerchild
5-30-03
Sorry
Now you all probably think I'm a cannible
I'm not, that line should have read "Shouldn't go 'Baa!'

 

by Tigerchild
6-06-03
Just like all the other comic characters we believe in a safe form of sex, so Tom's going to tell you about how safe we are
OK....
The safest form of sex is when you get really drunk and have sex with about 10 people while you're sharing needles
where'd you hear that?
my mum says that's how I was conceived
that answers a lot of questions

 

by Tigerchild
6-16-03
Greetings! I am Doctor Finkleburger, formerly a cast member of Sw1tchbl8's comic
Hi, I'm Tigerchild, and this gentleman behind me is Tom Powers, the famous specimin
What's he a specimin of?
We're not quite sure yet

 

by Tigerchild
6-16-03
No! Absolutely not!
why not?
Look, I've told you before and I'm telling you now, you are NOT going to the party dressed as a fairy!
aww, but TC, I've already made the wand!
The answer is no!" It'll be 'no' even if you've made a tutu and a pair of wings to go with it!
It's scary how she does that

 

by Tigerchild
6-19-03
I shall express my pain through this comic
OOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH!
JESUS CHRIST ON A BLOOD STAINED CROSS!!!!!
IT HURTS!

 

by Tigerchild
6-22-03
A note to all galaxy hitchhikers, in the following public safety film we are now going to tell you how to survive an attack by the ravenous Blood Blatter Beast of Trall, please pay close attention.
should you ever come across the beast, simply place your towel (which you should have with you at all times) over your head
ROAR!!
This is because although the Beast is extremely dangerous, it is also extremely stupid, as so since you cannot see it it, it assumes it cannot see you.
come out, come out wherever you are!

 

by Tigerchild
6-30-03
TC, the way things are going is unacceptable!
What's wrong Izzy? Flea in your fur?
I'm not happy TC, you've been neglecting me!
OK, what do you want?
How about some of that steak you cooked for your tea?
I knew it'd come down to food

 

by Tigerchild
7-04-03
Excuse me, Miss, I wonder if you can help me
what's up?
I'm looking for a criminal...
Find your own! It took me YEARS to find these two!
Hey! I resent that! You know we only stole that video from the charity shop because it was ours anyway!
Yeah, it doesn't count as a crime if you steal from chairty shops!

 

by Tigerchild
7-16-03
MEOW!!!
TC! I'm HUNGRY!!
what could be so important that she forgot to feed me?

 

by Tigerchild
7-16-03
This is your brain
This is your brain on drugs
Kill everyone
yes sir! Comrade Donky Jaws! ha ha ha!
but worst of all: this is your brain on fairy cakes
I think I really like Britney Spears

 

by Tigerchild
7-20-03
Hi TC!
heavy metal CD's, must find my heavy metal CD's
What's up with her?
she went to 'Party in the Park' in Swansea with a friend, 4½ hours of mindless pop music, hundreds of screaming pre-teens, I think it's made her insane
Really? what's she going to do?
she says she's going to listen to her metal CD's all night and take a bath in acid

 

by Tigerchild
7-21-03

 

by Tigerchild
7-21-03
What has become of my beloved? What have you done to her?
She will never walk the streets again.
Why not?
Why? I'll tell you why!
She's bought a scooter

 

by Tigerchild
7-21-03
I warn you Winston, we can change people into somebody else
You're lying!
you think so?
Tigerchild, call in Jennifer
Certainly. Miss Looooooopez!

 

by Tigerchild
7-21-03
Yes? you callin' me, Sw1tch?
Ah, Jennifer, dear, what is you line?
A coloured television set
Splendid
You fiends! Poor Jennifer Lopez!
On the contrary, I think it's a great improvement

 

by Tigerchild
7-22-03
you fiends! poor Jennifer, it's must be terrible down in the recording studio
well, it gets dark early in America you know
Little Bro, take over, I'm going to Llanelli for a tuba lesson
Goody Goody!perhaps 1985 is going to be a good year for me
No, Little Bro, don't do it! Remember me? I'm your old pal Tom Powers? Your friend? Remember me?
Yes? My friend, you're the idiot my sister writes about whenever she gets a free moment!

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